The Truesdales Went Down to Georgia (A Blog About Our 3rd Anniversary Weekend Get-Away)

May 1, 2013 marked 3 years since Jill and I were wed. I wasn't aware of this until here lately but the theme for gifts at the third anniversary is leather as the third year is when the marriage shows its resilience, much like leather itself. That being the case, I went to our local Goodwill store and found an old pair of work boots and gave them to my wife as an anniversary present. Seemed appropriate, so I went with it.

No, I didn't actually get her a pair of work boots. We did, however, work as a team in putting together a weekend jaunt down to Georgia in order to celebrate our anniversary. Jill had told me a while back that she wanted to visit the World of Coca-Cola, which is in Atlanta. As luck would have it, there wound up being a professional wrestling show in nearby Porterdale that I wanted to attend. Realizing we'd both have an opportunity to see something we'd enjoy along the way, the trip more or less planned itself - all we had to do was put one foot in front of the other.

THE ROAD

I do enjoy road trips and traveling in general, so much so that I've told my wife that once we're both old and retired I fully plan on selling our house and buying a recreational vehicle. Then we can spend our twilight years together on the road, seeing the country while terrorizing other motorists. Seriously, imagine me as a septuagenarian piloting a tour bus-sized RV hurtling down the highways at full speed - it's going to be awesome!

In all seriousness, I do think it's fun to get out and roam around every now and again. There was a point in time when my career didn't seem to be going anywhere that I considered going to truck driver's school. I wanted a vocation that I could earn a living at and enjoy the work as well, and that seemed like an option at the time. Fortunately, things picked up for me professionally speaking and I didn't have to take that route, but my appreciation for opportunities to hit the road hasn't diminished.

For this trip, we'd start off by taking a series of back roads through several counties in South Carolina until we hit I-20 west which would carry us the rest of the way to our temporary home of Covington, Georgia. From our home, GPS services would've had us drive to Columbia and hit I-20 there; this would've added a good many miles to the trip, which is why I plotted out an alternative course. "The scenic route", if you will.

Getting to Covington was a real breeze as the traffic going through South Carolina and Georgia happened to be somewhat sparse. I attribute this to the time of day we were traveling and the fact that it was pouring rain. Speaking of which, rain has become a running joke when we're on the road as it doesn't seem like we ever take a trip when the forecast doesn't call for precipitation. I can't remember an occasion where we've been traveling and there wasn't something wet falling from the sky. This was the case even before we were married as it was absolutely pouring rain the morning we flew out of Charlotte, North Carolina to Las Vegas. The rain would be an issue for us this entire weekend as it never really let up the entire time we were gone. Such is life for the Truesdales!

The ride into Atlanta wasn't that bad either, which was a surprise as I'd never driven there before but have always heard horror stories about how terrible an experience it can be thanks to congestion and the notion that most drivers there have an aggressive temperament. Maybe it was because we made our entrance fairly early on a Saturday or that combined with the persistent rain - whatever it was, I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to get to the part of town we'd be visiting. The parking garage for the Wold of Coca-Cola was clearly marked and our GPS took us right to it without issue.

Unfortunately the trek out of Atlanta was the exact opposite. We left town in what may have been a weekend equivalent to rush hour as we encountered heavy traffic that was true to the sort of things I'd been told about driving in Atlanta. The roads were packed and the drivers were just as ornery as I'd been lead to believe they'd be. We got through it by remembering the wise teachings of a Jedi Master - "Patience, young padawan..." I feel for people who live in cities like Atlanta as I don't think I could drive through that on a daily basis, not without heavy medication anyway.

After that, it was good to have an uneventful ride home. We stopped along the way at a mall near Augusta, GA long enough to do a little shopping and to have lunch. Nothing like bourbon chicken, fried rice and an Orange Julius during a road trip to revitalize your mind, body and spirit!

THE HOTEL

I'm notorious for my frugality in general but especially so when it comes to hotels and seemingly frivolous expenses related to travel. My wife will verify this for you, should you think that I'm lying, as she's had to endure the brunt of my being a cheapskate. We have stayed in some questionable hotels during our relationship and the Travelodge in Covington, GA which we called home during our weekend get-away was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

We hit the road around 5:30 PM after we'd both gotten off work. We'd stopped at a Chili's for supper in Augusta, GA so it was around 10 PM when we arrived at our hotel. I had picked this particular Travelodge for two reasons: Price and its relative proximity to Atlanta. Staying in Atlanta was out of the question; I couldn't justify spending $150 or more per night to stay there seeing as how that would've wiped out the entire budget for this trip. Even with the extra fuel we'd be using, we would come out better by not splurging on a hotel. When we got off the interstate and entered Covington, my immediate reaction was to say that it appeared to be a pleasant area. There were several restaurants and shops nearby and it looked to be a very nice place to shack up for the next couple nights. My confidence didn't waver as we approached the hotel - I said to myself, "Hey, there's a Waffle House next door and a Taco Bell across the street, what more do you need?"

I left my truck under the overhang near the lobby then went inside to check us in. The parking lot was nearly full which wasn't surprising seeing as how a hotel like this one located right off of a major interstate stands to have plenty of business on any given night from road-wary travelers. The lobby seemed quaint enough and the staff were courteous, although I noticed that there appeared to be renovations in progress. A sign proclaiming "We're making our great hotel better!" confirmed my suspicions. Suddenly this value hotel was starting to seem a bit suspect as I didn't know how the renovations might intrude on our comfort.

After parking the truck we went to our room, which was on the second floor. The renovations were obvious by this point in time as there was a pile of furniture underneath one of the staircases and various supplies at the top of the stairs. There were some children playing outside a room near ours and I could sense that my wife's opinion of the facility had taken a nosedive based on what we'd encountered thus far. The conditions of our room didn't improve matters as it became clear we were definitely staying in a "value" hotel.

Our room had a king-size bed, which wound up being rather comfortable albeit a bit shaky, but I noticed right off the bat that there were three small, square pillows on it. We've encountered these things before when staying in hotels and I gather that they're called European pillows. Why hotels in this country are using them, I have no idea. We're not in Europe, folks - just because they're all the rage across the pond doesn't mean we should have to be subjected to them here. Remember, our forefathers fought a war over this sort of thing about 230 years ago.

When I was checking us into the hotel, the clerk at the front desk told me to call down to the lobby should we need anything once we got into our room. Since we needed more pillows, I did precisely that - problem was, our in-room phone didn't work (the hotel's WiFi was also not working). I saw the number to the hotel was printed on an information sheet attached to the phone so I attempted to call the front desk using that number and my cellular phone but there was no response - there was no ring, no "invalid number" system message, nothing but dead air. After 10 minutes of trying to do things the high tech way, I wound up walking back to the lobby and getting a few more pillows from the same clerk who'd checked us in.

Ambient noise is a consistent issue when it comes to hotels, not only the sounds created by other guests but also the pangs, rattles, and what have you of equipment like air conditioners and refrigerators. The AC in this room sounded like a diesel engine, quite frankly, and the fridge constantly made an odd pinging sound. This AC wasn't the most noisy unit we've ever encountered while traveling, though. That title belongs to an air conditioner at a hotel (I forget which chain it was) we stayed at during the last leg of our honeymoon in Saint Augustine, Florida which I do believe may have been a jet engine in another life.

Continental breakfasts offered by hotels are a real crap shoot. We've had experiences in certain hotels where you're lucky if you get milk to pour over your generic "Fruit Loops" cereal and yet we've also been to hotels where the breakfast bar was worth the price of the stay alone (case in point, the Days Inn in Asheville, North Carolina near the Biltmore Estate - phenomenal breakfast buffet and a very reasonably priced hotel). The breakfast bar at this Travelodge was kind of a mixed bag as it included your standard continental fare of pastries, confections, coffee, and juice but it also had biscuits, sausage and a waffle iron with a ready-made batter dispenser. Liability issues of having a hot waffle iron sitting out where small hands could get to it aside (I don't care if you do put a sign on it, it's still an invitation for injuries), I think the waffles are probably the best thing you can get out of a deal like this. They're fresh and hot, and here we got sausage to go with them. We could've just as well walked over to Waffle House but the hotel waffles were free and rather tasty for what they were.

I had an interesting personal experience at the breakfast bar our last morning at the hotel. My wife wanted to sleep in but I got up around 8 AM as usual. By the time I'd had my shower and gotten dressed, Jill was stirring. She asked that I bring her back a biscuit, sausage, some jelly and juice which I was glad to do for her. I fetched her breakfast, brought it back to our room, then returned to fix my breakfast. I was about to sit down at a table when a three children came in, all of them wearing pajamas. I noticed one was wearing a onesie with feet - nothing too strange there, she was a child after all. Within short order a few more arrived; they too were wearing pajamas except several of this group were grown women. And yes, they were wearing onsies with feet. I assume they may have been living out of the hotel. I hate to poke fun considering they might have been going through some sort of plight, but I have to say that I hope to get to a point in my life where I feel it's perfectly acceptable to have breakfast whilst wearing a onesie in public.

All things considered, for what we paid the room was passable. It had a bed, a TV, and a functional bathroom; nothing more than what we needed, in other words. I've promised my wife that I'll try to book better hotels in the future as after 3 years of marriage and putting up with my propensity for cheapness, I think I owe her that much.

THE WORLD OF COCA-COLA

Visiting the World of Coca-Cola was an idea my wife expressed to me a while back. I honestly had not heard of it prior to her telling me about it, which is possibly because of the fact that I'm a Pepsi fan truth be told. (There's a World of Coca-Cola in Las Vegas as well, but I guess we either missed it when we were there several years ago or just didn't think to check it out.) As such, my agreeing to go there seemed like somewhat of an invitation to be burned at the stake as a heretic more than anything. I'm glad to report that I was not assaulted in any way during our time there, regardless of my status as an infidel.

We arrived at the WC-C fairly early, I'd say around 9:15 AM. When you purchase tickets to visit the WC-C you select a time slot that you'd like to begin your tour; I assume this is done to control the flow of visitors as there are some aspects of the tour which are lead by ambassadors however most of the facility can be viewed at your own pace. The early slot we selected was a great idea as it allowed us to get in with a smaller group prior to the bulk of the visitors who'd be coming in that day (not to mention the benefit of not having to fight for a parking space in the garage).

The WC-C is an interactive museum, for lack of a better phrase, centered around the cultural phenomenon that is Coca-Cola. It's amazing to behold the collection of related artifacts this facility holds as I don't think people consider the impact a brand like Coca-Cola has had on our way of life (or at least I don't - I blame it on the Pepsi in my blood). You can find everything from paintings by Norman Rockwell to Olympic torches, from a giant bottle opener to biographical information on the inventor of Coca-Cola. What's more, the WC-C contains an exhibit called "The Vault" which they claim holds the original formula of Coca-Cola.

Suffice to say that "The Vault" is intimidating. I did find it funny, though, that visitors are instructed to stay behind a line on the floor or else a proximity alarm will be triggered (sure enough, a woman in our group got too close and an alarm did sound) yet they have that fancy hand scanner there which is basically a big, shiny red button with "TOUCH ME" printed on it.

If you make logical progress through the WC-C, the final area you come upon is the tasting room where you may sample upwards of 60 varieties of Coca-Cola products distributed throughout the world. The tasting room has a series of stations which are coordinated by continent and the beverages popular to each are available from fountains. Visitors can sample as much as they want, and that's exactly what we did! I believe we tasted all of the international offerings; some were great and some weren't exactly to our liking. Case in point, there's a drink that Coca-Cola manufactures which is popular in Italy known as Beverly. It's a pallet cleanser and it is one of the most revolting flavors I've ever experienced. It's deceptive in that it has a sweet aroma. The only way I can describe the taste is to say that it's like the bitterness from grapefruit but without any of the citrus flavor or subtle sweetness of grapefruit. I hated it and suffice to say that Jill didn't care for it either.

We had a great time at the WC-C, though, and I would strongly encourage you to check it out should you ever visit Atlanta.

THE GEORGIA AQUARIUM

We hadn't originally planned to check out the Georgia Aquarium when we put together our itinerary for this trip but we wound up having more time in the area than we'd expected as it didn't take that long to go through the WC-C. Seeing as how the aquarium is literally next door to the WC-C and we had most of the afternoon to work with, we figured why not go ahead and see it while we were there.

I mentioned earlier how the weather during our trip to Atlanta wasn't that great as it rained off and on (I'd say it was more "on" than "off", though) the entire time we were on the road. That said, the people of Atlanta seemed to be focused on enjoying various indoor activities and the aquarium proved to be quite busy that afternoon. When I say "quite busy", I'm talking about a crowd that resembled some we saw last year while at the theme parks in Orlando.

This was a spur of the moment deal so we didn't have tickets in hand when we decided to tour the aquarium which meant we had to wait in line to purchase them. Trouble was, the line to buy tickets using the aquarium's automated ticketing kiosks isn't protected from the weather. There was another line which was under cover but it was absolutely massive! I'm not sure what the deal was there but we opted to stick with the kiosks as they appeared to be the faster method for ticketing. Jill had her umbrella meanwhile I had a hat; she shared her umbrella with me but I wound up being mostly exposed, and that lead to me being quite soggy as the downpour continued. I wasn't as bad off as a fellow in front of us who had no protection whatsoever - he was drenched, needless to say, but his resolve was admirable.

By the time we got near the kiosks, there were probably better than 50 people in line behind us. I'd estimate that it took maybe 20 minutes to get to the front, which in reality isn't all that long of a wait but when you're standing in the rain 20 minutes feels like an hour. Seeing as how we'd been patient enough to observe proper queue etiquette, it was rather funny to hear the reactions of patrons near us as a woman attempted to walk right by the line and go straight up to the kiosks. After she was called out for her transgression, she turned around and looked at the line as if it were a herd of purple rhinoceroses playing chess - confused and caught off guard, in other words. Her kids laughed at her, as did we, and she took her rightful place in line after the fact.

[SIDE NOTE: For my wife & I, the cost of entry to the Georgia Aquarium was almost $65. By comparison, the WC-C tickets were barely $30. I realize an operation like an aquarium has a tremendous overhead, but what are they feeding those fish, lobster and prime rib?]

The Georgia Aquarium is a truly stunning facility, both in terms of its size and in regards to the collection of animals it hosts. There are otters, frogs, dolphins (which can be viewed as part of your admission but there is an additional charge to see a performance by them), jellyfish, and even whale sharks - yes, whale sharks, living in captivity and on display for all to see and appreciate. It's amazing to think that all those critters exist in the middle of an urban jungle like Atlanta. I'm glad we took the time to experience it as it would've been a mistake not to take advantage of the opportunity.

PORTERDALE, GA & BURNIE'S BBQ

After braving the traffic outbound from Atlanta, we made our way over to Porterdale, GA for an evening of professional wrestling action from Chikara, a promotion I've been wanting to see live for years but had never had the chance to previously. It was getting on towards supper time and I wanted to have a bite to eat before the show. Porterdale is a small town, much like our own, as we noticed there weren't many eateries to be had aside from a few national chains like Subway and Burger King. I like to be adventurous when we're on the road, though, and I particularly like to try local fare as in things that you can't get everywhere. This was exactly what we found in the form of Burnie's BBQ, which wound up being directly beside the venue.

Burnie's BBQ is a small restaurant located on Main street in Porterdale. If you weren't looking for it or didn't already know where it is, you more than likely will miss it as I didn't even see it until my wife pointed it out as we drove through town (for the second time; we made a reconnaissance lap, just to see what was around). Jill was a little hesitant to try it as she wasn't sure if it would be all that great or if the food might upset us. I'm happy to report that her concerns were dashed - Burnie's was some of the best BBQ we've ever had.

BBQ is a culinary anomaly in that it means very different things depending on what part of the world you're in. In the Carolinas, it's pork and either a mustard or vinegar based sauce, whereas in Texas it's usually beef. We have several great BBQ restaurants in our part of the world, and while they & Burnie's were similar in that they serve pulled pork BBQ the difference was in the fact that Burnie's BBQ is smoked over hardwood which gives it an entirely different flavor than what we're accustomed to having (we didn't try it but Burnie's offers turkey as well as pork). The meat was tender, moist, and the sauces Burnie's had to offer as an accompaniment were fantastic. We sampled several including one that is a strawberry habanero combination which had great sweetness from the berries but a real kick in the throat thanks to the peppers!

No BBQ plate is complete without side items and for mine I chose their Brunswick stew and potato salad. I'm a sucker for homemade potato salad and Burnie's was top notch. Brunswick stew, if you're not familiar with it, is similar to a vegetable soup as it has a tomato base and includes other vegetables as well as some type of meat, be it beef, chicken or pork (some traditional recipes involve rabbit and squirrel). It had a hearty consistency and was a great item for a chilly, dreary day like this one was. I could've made a meal out of it and some oyster crackers alone.

Jill & I were both very impressed with Burnie's, not only because of their food but also because of an encounter we had with one of the owners, Nina Mae. She and her husband operate Burnie's; she's a great asset to the restaurant as she took the time to explain their sauces to us, give us some background information about the town, and made us feel incredibly welcome. That's the sort of thing you can't get at a chain restaurant anymore and that's a big reason why I like going to places like Burnie's when we're traveling. You never know what you're going to get when you walk through their door, but sometimes you discover a real gem like Burnie's.

Burnie's BBQ
2021 Main ST
Porterdale, GA 30070
http://burniesbbq.com/

CHIKARA PRESENTS "THE GHOST OF YOU CLINGS"

Everyone who knows me well knows that I'm a huge fan of professional wrestling, and not just the stuff that comes on TV every Monday or Friday night. I like the smaller companies as well, such as Ring of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerilla as well as local federations like Premiere Wrestling Experience and Pro Wrestling Evo. These are groups that are made up of guys and girls who are still working hard to make a name for themselves in an industry that's about as difficult (if not more so) to break into as just about any legitimate professional sport. Their passion for wrestling is on display every time they get into the ring, and Chikara is home to some of the most vibrant personalities you're likely to ever see inside the squared-circle.

Chikara is hard to describe to someone who's a casual wrestling fan. Theirs is a product which incorporates aspects of high-flying, mask-wearing luchadores from Mexico, Japanese "strong-style" (matches that are choreographed but involve action made to look more like mixed-martial arts fighting), traditional American wrestling and a decent helping of comedy to boot. Pro wrestling is a form of performance art, you see, and it should involve the full range of human emotion. I don't know that any company out there gets that quite as well as Chikara does as their events will leave you totally drained from having laughed, booed, cheered, and everything in between.

Chikara's shows feature themes, and the card we attended was titled "The Ghost of You Clings". I'm not going to try and explain what that means because it would involve me dictating the history of a faction within Chikara, and this entry to my blog is getting out of hand in terms of its length as is. To make a long story short, it has to do with the aftermath of a long-time member of the Chikara roster suddenly quitting the company as a result of their management forcing him into aligning with a different group.

Here's a list of results from the show and my comments on each.

1) Tag team match featuring local talent from Platinum Championship Wrestling - The Washington Bullets (Jon & Trey) defeated Shane Marx & The Jagged Edge

There were plenty of people in the crowd who were knowledgeable regarding PCW and I take it that the group has a strong local following, which is great to hear. The pacing of the match was way too quick, although this might have been what they were aiming for in an attempt to get the crowd going; they packed in a lot of high spots and when you do that so hurriedly they wind up looking cool but have no real point. Not a bad match but nothing superlative either.

2) Shenron defeated "The Kentucky Gentleman" Chuck Taylor

I've never seen Shenron before and the people we sat near who knew PCW's product had never seen him either, so he may be a new member of Chikara's roster. Chuck Taylor gave him a stiff contest as it looked like Taylor may have been testing him at times. Good showing for both with lots of support for Shenron in the crowd.

3) The Pieces of Hate (Jigsaw & The Shard) defeated Fire Ant & assailANT

Fantastic match between these 4 as you have a genuine display here of what Chikara is all about when it comes to masked gimmicks. Fire Ant & assailANT looked strong working together but they couldn't get past the combination of Jigsaw & the Shard, who have really dialed up the intensity of their style since becoming a tag team.

4) Gran Akuma defeated Sugar Dunkerton (with Icarus) by disqualification

Interesting dynamic going into the match as Sugar Dunkerton and Icarus were the only remaining members of F.I.S.T. (Friends In Similar Tights), and Gran Akuma was at one point in time a member of the group. The match ended after Icarus was caught shoving Gran Akuma off the top rope. Afterwards Sugar confronted Icarus about his cheating ways and announced that he was officially a "free agent" and quitting F.I.S.T.

5) Amasis defeated Kobald

"The Funky Pharaoh" Amasis continues his build towards a match against his old tag team partner Ophidian, here taking on a member of the Batiri in Kobald. This wasn't the cleanest match of the night nor did the finish have that great of an impact as they went through several false moments before ending on a rolling elbow, a move that didn't have near as much impact as the earlier series' had.

6) The Colony Extreme Force (Missile Assault Ant, Arctic Rescue Ant and Orbit Adventure Ant) & deviANT defeated The Spectral Envoy (Ultramantis Black, Hallowicked and Frightmare) & Green Ant

This match was as crazy as the combination of combatants would make you believe. An 8-man tag in a building this size made for some rather tight moments, but the crowd loved every minute of it as the biggest reaction of the evening went to the Spectral Envoy & Green Ant. Lots of great action here, including an insane inside-out suplex maneuver involving 6 of the wrestlers. Ultramantis Black and his team were disqualified after Missile Assault Ant removed his mask but made it look to the referee like UB had taken it off him.

7) Saturyne defeated Tim Donst

The angle here was more about Donst's torturing of Jacob Hammermeier and developing his feud with Gavin Loudspeaker than anything. I can't say as I cared too much for this match but it was decent for an inter-gender bout. Donst's group of misfits are so odd - they don't come off as being intimidating, rather they look like the weird, medicated and socially awkward kids from high school. Donst laid out Loudspeaker after the match and cut off some of his hair before being contained by referees.

8) Eddie Kingston defeated Mark Angelosetti to retain the Chikara Grand Championship

It was getting late into the evening by this point in time and you could tell by the crowd's reactions from this point in the card forward. Kingston came to the ring hobbling and favoring his left knee, apparently selling an injury from his match the night before in Gibsonville, NC against Green Ant. That knee became the focus of the match as Angelosetti, who looks very much to me like a young Chris Jericho, attempted to take it apart throughout. Hard to imagine an old school wrestling match out of Chikara but that's exactly what this felt like and it was well done, I thought; great build, fantastic tension, and a true sense that Eddie could've been defeated. Kingston fought through it, though, and he remains the Chikara Grand Champion.

9) Best 2-out-of-3 Falls - 3.0 (Shane Matthews & Scott Parker) defeated the Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama) to retain the Campeonatos de Parejas

3.0 found themselves in a hole early on as they lost the first fall then seemed to be reduced to 1.5 as Parker suffered an injury to his back as a result of having been thrown into one of the ring posts. Matthews would somehow manage to survive against not only Obariyon & Kodama but also Ophidian and Kobald as the entirety of the Batiri made themselves known throughout the contest, scoring the next pinfall by himself after a quick roll-up. Parker would return to the match after having received medical attention, his ribs heavily taped. 3.0 retained the Campeonatos de Parejas after what became a very spirited and entertaining bout.

I had a great time at this show and I cannot say enough about the entire experience we had in Porterdale. Perhaps what impressed me the most, though, was something that happened after the show was over. As we left the building we realized that almost all of the tecnicos (good guys) on Chikara's roster had gathered around the exit to greet fans. That's something I've never seen before, quite frankly. They were standing out there in the rain to say thanks - that's how you build appreciation for a product, by showing the fans that you care about them. I'll certainly be back again when Chikara heads south, hopefully sometime soon.

CONCLUSION

 My wife & I were married in Lugoff, South Carolina at Pine Grove Baptist Church on May 1, 2010. Life changed for us both that day, and I'd like to think we've been on the upstroke ever since in terms of growing as a couple in every way that two people can who are joined the way we are. Our relationship is as great as it's ever been as we still talk about everything and anything with each other (communication has always been one of our strongest points). Professionally speaking, we're both doing well as we're gainfully employed doing work that we enjoy. We have an awesome home, a fiesty little pooch named Roddy, and with any luck we'll begin to grow our family in the near future. Life is good, and it's because we have each other that we are where we are. That said, here's to many, many more anniversaries.

The Catawba Fish Camp

[SIDE NOTE: I put quite a bit of thought into the title of this entry. I was trying to come up with something catchy that I could use as something of a recurring theme for when I have the notion to write about a particular dining experience. As you might expect, I was aiming for a phrase with an alliterative affect to go along with the overall title of my blog (Redbeard's Rambling) but I quickly came to the determination that there aren't many culinary terms that begin with the letter "r". Sure, there's "rotisserie", "ragu", "remoulade" and "rhubarb"; sadly, none of those can be conveniently shifted into the role of an adjective. So, for this entry at least, I'm using a headline that's remarkably more bland than normal. However, should someone reading this have a clever idea for a title to be used on recurring food-based columns that you think is worthwhile please post it in the comments - full credit will be given to the originator of the material.]

If you look at statistics regarding turnover rates for independent restaurants (as in those not operating under the umbrella of a larger chain), the numbers are quite staggering. Depending on what studies you read, between 23%-26% of all new restaurants fail within their first year of operation. I find that to be scary, quite frankly, as it equates to a 1-out-of-4 scenario. I guess that sort of potentiality is something prospective and current business owners just accept as part of the risk of such a venture, or perhaps it's a statement regarding how some diners will always be better than others, but even so it's mind boggling to me that so many eateries die so quickly.

That said, it's great to hear about a local restaurant that's done well. The Catawba Fish Camp in Fort Lawn, South Carolina (situated along the Catawba river, hence the name) has done so well in fact that theirs is a history that spans more than 60 years. Having grown up in nearby Lancaster, SC it should come as no surprise that it's one of my favorite restaurants and a place that I always look forward to revisiting.

The Catawba Fish Camp - the roof is normally red when it's not covered with snow

The Fish Camp (as the locals refer to it; yes, Catawba Fish Camp is the full name of the joint but I honestly don't think I've ever heard anyone refer to it as anything other than simply "the Fish Camp") started off as a building that was not much more than a shack by today's standards. Now the Fish Camp is one of the larger restaurants in the Lancaster area, although the parking lot is significantly bigger than the building itself and on any given Friday or Saturday night you can expect almost every space to be filled with cars and a line of hungry patrons to be hanging out the door waiting for a taste.

So what makes the Fish Camp so special that it's lasted as long as it has? Great food, first and foremost, but also the fact that the Fish Camp has become an iconic eatery known for its style, southern presence and consistency in delivering some of the best seafood you're likely to find in the state.

Let me try to explain a bit about their food and what makes it so unique. Fish Camp is a seafood restaurant (What, you expected pizza?) but they also serve fried chicken as well as some of the best fried chicken livers you'll ever taste. Generally speaking, Fish Camp serves their food family style in an all-you-can-eat arrangement. (Items like crab legs or seafood platters aren't usually granted additional helpings.) The steaming hot food is brought to your table on a shiny silver platter - those platters are something of a trademark of the Fish Camp as they've been using them for as long as I can remember, and I've been eating there for the majority of my life. The photo below is one that I took a while back when visiting the Fish Camp.

What you see there is an example of some of Fish Camp's finest offerings. Starting in the top-left, you have flounder fillet, salt & pepper catfish fillet (the smaller, darker, more curled-up pieces), scallops and tilapia. Beneath that you have hush puppies and fresh cut French fries. Yes, almost all the food Fish Camp serves is fried (they do have boiled shrimp in shell as well as grilled chicken). If you have an aversion to food that's been breaded and cooked to a lovely golden brown, too bad. Actually, I take that back. If you don't like your seafood the way Fish Camp does it, good - that just means more for the rest of us.

If you're not familiar with the concept of seafood being prepared "salt & pepper", it's essentially nothing more than adding salt and pepper to the dredge used in breading the fish. Typically there's more pepper than salt which gives the fish some heat - it can liven up just about any variety of fish, although most commonly you see the salt & pepper tag applied to catfish fillet. Why, I couldn't tell you. It's one of those things that started sometime in the past and has caught on to the point that it's now more or less standard.

Flounder and catfish fillet are definitely the most popular catches at Fish Camp but my favorite happens to be the tilapia. Tilapia hasn't always been on the menu there; if I remember correctly, it was introduced a while back as a result of Fish Camp not being able to get enough flounder to suit demand. If you've never had it, tilapia is very much like flounder in that it's a white fish with a flaky texture. The flavor is mild and it has a surprisingly sweet taste to it. I like spicy food which is why I usually get mine prepared salt & pepper. I think it adds to the flavor of the fish and plays well off of its inherent sweetness. Hit it with a little cocktail sauce and you've got a meal that's just about perfect in my mind!

In describing the seafood I've neglected a few of Fish Camp's most well known accoutrements, specifically the hush puppies, slaw and French fries. The hush puppies and slaw are brought to your table along with your drinks as something of an appetizer (I've gotten a takeout order of nothing but slaw and hush puppies, truth be told, as I could make a meal out of them alone), and they compliment each other perfectly. The hush puppies are delivered to your table while they're still piping hot. If you've ever had a fresh, hot doughnut I can tell you that the experience of eating Fish Camp hush puppies isn't too far removed from that. Their exterior has a bit of a crunch to it but on the inside they're soft and warm. They'll literally melt in your mouth!

You have a choice of sweet or sour slaw - I prefer the sour although my wife prefers the sweet (I don't dislike the sweet slaw, I just would rather have the sour). I have no idea how they make the slaw other than to say that the cabbage is finely chopped, almost to a point where it takes on a pulpy consistency. I like to add a few good dashes of Texas Pete hot sauce into my slaw; again, I like spicy foods and I think the vinegar in the Texas Pete gets along great with the twangy condiment on the slaw. I like to use my hush puppy as a "sopping agent", for lack of a better phrase, to help me wrangle the slaw. That hush puppy gets even happier after he's had a chance to soak up some of the slaw's condiment/Texas Pete mix.

I've been going to the Fish Camp for as long as I can remember and one of my prevailing memories of the restaurant involves their French fries. When I was a young boy, my family would go to Fish Camp for supper and I often sat next to my Grandfather. My Grandpa was a big man (he earned the nickname "Big'um" in high school) with a deep voice. During one particular visit to Fish Camp I recall that he ordered fries with his meal but the waitress couldn't understand what he was saying - not a shock seeing as how it was a busy evening and the air was filled with conversations. Because of his tone of voice and the background noise, our waitress mistook his order of "fries" for "rice". To her credit she did at least go to the kitchen to verify that there was no rice on the menu. I think the only way this story could be more amusing to me is if she'd actually produced a side order of rice. I can only imagine what Grandpa's reaction to that would've been.

Another significant memory I have from the Fish Camp dates back to George W. Bush's first Presidential campaign. His tour rolled through the Lancaster area and made a stop at the Fish Camp where he stumped in front of a packed house of supporters and media. My Grandmother and I went to check it out - it's not every day that the potential next President of the United States comes to town, after all - but by the time we got there the restaurant was overflowing with people so we stood outside instead. His remarks were being pumped out into the parking lot via a public address system; ironically enough, when he was finished talking he made his way out and I believe we were amongst the first of people who got to meet him that day. He made his way through the crowd, signing autographs and greeting folks, all the while being shadowed by several large men wearing suits, sunglasses, cowboy boots and rodeo champion-sized belt buckles. They were Texas Rangers, his security detail for the campaign.

Yes, I met the man who would be the President while rocking sideburns that awesome.

I wouldn't go so far as to proclaim the Fish Camp as being "world famous", however I will say that it's had a moment in the spotlight of viral media albeit not thanks to their food. Back in 2008, surveillance video surfaced of a little girl who somehow managed to climb inside a claw game situated near the entrance of the restaurant. As you can see, it's a rather amazing piece of footage.

The little girl was fine and I hear she's now performing as a member of Cirque du Soleil. I made that up, actually, but if she's still as limber today as she was then I'd say she could've been an incredible contortionist. And yes, if you were wondering, the claw game is still there.

Another unique feature to the Fish Camp is the candy bar. Yes, you read that right - there's a candy bar at the Fish Camp. No, I'm not talking about a singular piece of candy such as a Snickers or 3 Musketeers, I'm talking about a bar that's loaded with God only knows how many different varieties of candy, everything from Big League Chew (a personal favorite of mine) to mammoth lollipops. The candy bar is situated near the check out registers and guests pass by it on their way out of the restaurant. Some might say it's a gimmick the restaurant is using to get parents to spend a little extra money while they're there since no child is going to see that spread without asking for a few sweets. Personally, I think it adds to the experience as it reminds me of my childhood and fond memories I have of spending time with my family.

I'm going to wrap up this entry in the most appropriate way I can think of, that being to send it out with a song. You know that your restaurant is a true cultural phenomenon when it and, more specifically, a waitress in particular inspires a piece of art. With that, I give you "Fish Camp Woman" performed by the king of the country-western troubadours, the one and only Unknown Hinson.

For more information on the Catawba Fish Camp, check them out on the web and at their Facebook page.

The Catawba Fish Camp

6131 Lancaster Hwy

Fort Lawn, SC 29714

Web - http://www.catawbafishcamp.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Catawba-Fish-Camp/

Official Rules for The Annual Truesdale Myrtle Beach Putt-Putt Challenge Championship

In the Summer of 2009, I went on my first actual camping trip. I joined my wife's family in spending a week at the Pirateland Campground in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Before you outdoor-types start criticizing me for never having been camping prior to then, bear in mind that my folks were not into sleeping in tents, foraging for food or using pine cones as toilet paper - or whatever it is that people who are actually into camping do when they go camping. We never went anywhere on vacation that didn't have accommodations complete with all the comforts of home as we'd either stay in a hotel or sometimes rent a condo. That said, this occasion wasn't exactly hardcore camping as we were staying in a camper equipped with air conditioning, a full kitchen, cable television, a bathroom, and WiFi (technically the WiFi came from the campground's facilities - even so, it was there and available). That was almost 4 years ago. I still haven't slept in a tent and to be perfectly honest with you I'm quite alright with that.

That initial camping experience was a marvelous event as I got to see and do things I'd never had the chance to take part in previously, such as sleeping on the floor of a camper while laying on an inflatable mattress. It was filled with firsts for my wife & I as we were still dating then but well on our way to making memories and traditions as a couple. One such tradition to be born out of this trip was a putt-putt competition. I don't recall how many rounds we played but Jill and I quickly realized that this was something we both loved as I think each of us has something of a competitive spirit. From those meager beginnings evolved what has now become known as the Annual Truesdale Myrtle Beach Putt-Putt Challenge Championship - or the ATMBPPCC for short.

The ATMBPPCC trophy - constructed by A1TROPHY (http://www.a1trophy.com)

Pretty sweet trophy, right? I designed it myself - I'd originally intended to make something rather absurd as there was a point during its development that the golf ball/club symbols on the second tier were going to be cows (yes, I'm serious). I'm happy that I went another route, needless to say, as it turned out even better than the conceptual artwork made it look. At some point I'd like to add to this by having a plaque made with panels that can be updated so that we can record who wins each year.

Suffice to say that what started out as a cheeky competition has taken on a slightly more serious vibe since we first began challenging one another to several rounds of mini-golf during our annual Myrtle Beach vacation. Surely something so grandiose as to be recognized by an actual trophy must have a set of official rules?

Right?

Well, no, to be perfectly honest with you. We just never wrote any down, although we had some loose parameters in mind while playing. That said, what follows is my attempt at laying down the law as it pertains to the ATMBPPCC.

ANNUAL TRUESDALE MYRTLE BEACH

PUTT-PUTT CHALLENGE CHAMPIONSHIP

OFFICIAL RULES

FORWARD

It is declared this, the 1st day of May in the year of our Lord 2013, that from henceforth all Annual Truesdale Myrtle Beach Putt-Putt Challenge Championship (referenced as ATMBPPCC hereafter) activities shall be conducted according to the rules presented herein. The statements making up this document are considered fluid and may be added to, updated, adjusted or removed in the event that such action is deemed necessary.

FOUNDATION

1) The ATMBPPCC is to be held in no locale other than Myrtle Beach, SC.

2) The ATMBPPCC is an annual event, taking place once each calendar year.

3) The ATMBPPCC shall consist of a best 3-out-of-5 scenario. A warm-up practice round, the results of which will not count towards the final tally, may be played if a consensus of agreement is reached by the participants that it is needed.

COURSE SELECTION

Each round of the ATMBPPCC will consist of 18 holes and must be played at a course unique to that particular year's event. In other words, no course may be played twice in a single year. A course played in an earlier ATMBPPCC may be used in the current event and a course played during the current year may serve as host in subsequent competitions.

If a chosen putt-putt facility offers multiple courses, the course advertised or denoted as being the most challenging course available at said facility must be used for ATMBPPCC play. Should there be no signage or other notification regarding course difficulty, facility staff will be consulted and whichever course they proclaim to be most challenging shall be played.

PARTICIPATION

Robert Jonathan Truesdale and Jill Moak Truesdale are the only allowed participants in ATMBPPCC competition. In the event of offspring, any children Robert and Jill may spawn will be allowed to participate once they have displayed competency, interest and a general understanding for the game of putt-putt.

Other individuals may play with Robert and Jill while they are engaged in ATMBPPCC competition however the scores of these individuals will not figure into the final outcome of the ATMBPPCC.

Accompanying players may provide moral support and strategic assistance to Robert and Jill but they absolutely may not physically interfere with the competition in any way. This includes, but is not limited to, the following: Moving of balls, malicious handling of equipment and clubs, engaging in annoying conversation, and otherwise being a distraction from ATMBPPCC competition. Doing so will result in the offender being immediately thrown into the nearest water hazard and left for dead. Play of the current round may continue but the ATMBPPCC participant associated with the offending guest shall forfeit the current round to their competitor.

ETIQUETTE

In an effort to maintain high standards of play, it should be noted that any attempt to distract or otherwise interfere with an opposing player will result in the imposition of harsh penalties (see PARTICIPATION, second paragraph).

Good sportsmanship is to be observed at all times during ATMBPPCC play. It is permissible to express frustration, albeit to a point of understandability (for example, letting out a subtle "Dang!") and not complete outlandishness (for example, throwing your club while shouting something about the course architect's mother being from Tijuana). This also pertains to expressions of being a poor loser - buck up, princess, there's always next year. While there is no direct penalty for these actions, an opposing player may reserve the right to record whatever tirade(s) their counterpart decides to engage in for the purpose of future shaming (such as sharing said recording to various social media outlets).

SCORING, TIE BREAKERS AND DO-OVERS (AKA, "MULLIGANS")

For ATMBPPCC play, the standard scoring rules of putt-putt (as well as any unique declared rules of the course being played) shall be observed. Each stroke counts as one point with the winner of the round being the player with the lowest cumulative point total.

Each player will be allowed one do-over (aka, "Mulligan") per round. Do-overs are not transferable between players and cannot be accumulated over the length of ATMBPPCC play nor can they be held over from one ATMBPPCC to the next. A do-over may be initiated as the result of a poor shot, lost ball, etc. A do-over may not be applied to the 18th hole or any hole which reclaims balls.

If there is no stated out of bounds penalty at the course being played, a 2-stroke penalty shall be applied to the player's score on that particular hole should they make a shot which results in a ball going out of bounds. This scenario would be nullified if the player in question has an available do-over, should they choose to use it at that point.

Regarding out of bounds shots, a player making such a shot will be allowed to place their ball back onto the course at the nearest playable position of the hole in question. The ball shall be placed no further than the distance of one club-head from the retaining structure. The ball must be played from this position regardless of whether or not an obstruction to a player's ideal positioning is present.

If there is no per hole stroke maximum at the course being played, a per hole 6-stroke maximum shall be observed.

In the event of a tie score at the end of a round, the player with the most holes-in-one during that particular round will be declared the winner of the round. Should there be a tie regarding most holes-in-one, the winner shall be determined by a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors with best 3-out-of-5 rules in play.

Am I Having a Mid-life Crisis?

My lifestyle has changed fairly dramatically here lately, not so much since the point in time that my wife & I were married but around a few other life events namely when we bought our house and when I changed jobs. In the past year, we've gone from renting a little shoebox of a house to owning a home with a bit of land attached. Additionally, I went from being Joe Schmoe employee at my previous workplace to being in the position of a director with my current employer. Suffice to say that those are some pretty sizable changes to the dynamic of our everyday lives, especially seeing as how we (I shouldn't speak for us - as in my wife & I - in this instance but I'm going to anyway) were settled in to our routines as they'd been consistent for several years. I don't know if it's that I haven't quite adjusted to things as they are now just yet or if what I'm experiencing is a legitimate mid-life crisis.

I looked up the medical definition of the term "mid-life crisis" online so that I'd have a better understanding of it and I'm not sure that doing so helped matters. I'm of the opinion that if you're suffering from some sort of ailment the absolute worst thing you can do is conduct research on your own via the web. My experience with having done so tells me that you stand a high probability of self-diagnosing yourself as having the worst possible outcome imaginable instead of attaining any useful understanding of what might be going on. For example, you're having headaches? Whoops, it's a brain tumor. You felt a twinge in your chest? Oh gosh, I have heart disease. You cough more than once a day? Well darn, hello emphysema. You're having a hard time kicking a cold? Too bad, you have AIDS. Maybe it's just me, though. I admit that while I do try to be an optimist I also can't deny reality and the realm of possibilities that exist.

From the perspective of psychology, a mid-life crisis refers to a state of mind which people enter into once they realize their own mortality and the potentiality for how much life they have left to live. Talk about a cheery point of view - depending no how you want to interpret that, it's either all down hill from here or the fog has lifted and the hill just got a whole lot steeper! I can't say that I've consciously spent much time dwelling on the concept that I'll soon be 33 years old, although I undoubtedly will now that I've acknowledged it publicly herein, but that seems too young to have heard life's whistle for half-time. Even though there was an era in history of humanity that 33 would've been considered old, nowadays that's quite young. For me to be exhibiting the characteristics of someone who is in a mid-life crisis is kind of rattling, to be perfectly honest with you.

So what are my symptoms? What's led me to believe that I'm in this state of mind? I mentioned the changes to my life earlier in this entry; I think I need to clarify that I'm not attempting to apply any sort of negativity to either of those aspects of my life. I love our home as it's everything we wanted and hoped for when we were shopping around the market. I also really enjoy my job - while I have a ton more responsibility than I ever have had before, it was an opportunity that I could not have turned down. I take that back, I could have turned it down and I almost did but my doing so would've only kept me from excelling professionally and from helping to make a better life for my family. Even so, the whole experience has been overwhelming at times.

The great thing about renting a house is that when something breaks or needs attention it's the landlord's responsibility to keep up the maintenance of the joint. The great thing about owning your home is that it's yours - likewise, the terrifying thing about owning your home is that it's yours. What I mean by that is if the microwave goes out, it's on us to handle it. If our water heater explodes, it's on us to handle it. If a tree in our yard topples over and damages part of the house, it's on us to handle it. Sure, you have homeowner's insurance to help with some of that, but the stressor exists in the chance that any of those scenarios could come true any day of the week and it would be up to us to deal with the consequences. That means enduring a physical and financial burden, and I will be totally honest in saying that the financial aspect is what scares me most.

I've always been a worrier and money is something I worry about more than anything. I guess it goes hand-in-hand with my status as a sufferer of buyer's remorse, another psychological issue of mine that I've tried to handle in one way or another over the years.

In terms of my job, the pressure that I feel comes from within. When I made the transition to where I am now, I left a staff of 8 to become director of a department of 1. I have no real support staff to rely on when issues arise (I say that but there are plenty of knowledgeable individuals here who could [and have] use their talents to help out), and as a result of that I can't help but dread the day that comes when there's a situation that develops which I have no idea how to deal with. The ramifications of that are huge because if I don't perform here there's no one else to be blamed but me. If I don't perform, I could lose this job. If I lose this job, where's the money going to come from to pay our mortgage and my bills? If I can't pay our mortgage or my bills, how will we ever recover?

When you boil the whole thing down, it seems as though my mentality is a product of two things: Fear of failure and worrying about things over which I ultimately have no control. To bring a different aspect of life into this discussion, I'll point out that I'm a Christian. I'm not exactly the most shining example of a man of faith but that's the amazing part of God's love - it exists as a gift we receive in spite of our imperfections. The Bible teaches that as a Christian, we are to lay our concerns before God and allow Him to carry our burdens. As much as I've tried to do that, I can't seem to let go.

Medically speaking, I'm in horrible shape. I exercise a couple times a week but my diet isn't what it should be. I'm overweight and I almost certainly have hypertension and probably high cholesterol as well. Those are guesses, as if you couldn't tell, and I use the word "probably" there because of the fact that I'm one of a whole lot of men (and more than likely a good many women) who don't particularly want to see a doctor on a regular basis unless it's absolutely necessary. The last time I saw a doctor was a couple years ago and I only went then because I had a rash which I'd attempted to treat with over the counter remedies to no avail.

Why don't I go? Partially, it's because I was in various doctor's offices a whole lot as a kid. I had to go at least once a year to a specialist about my seasonal allergies; medicine like Claritin or Allegra wasn't available without a prescription back then. On top of that, I'd go in about once a week for an injection that was supposed to help my allergies. I don't remember when but eventually I just stopped going in for the shots. I want to say I was able to get my prescriptions from a local physician instead of having to go to an allergist but I honestly don't recall the circumstances.

The other reason is my old friend fear. Fear of what the doctor is going to say is wrong with me, the fear of having something inside me that once diagnosed is going to put me on a path I'd just as soon not think about. (I've had family members and friends who've fought cancer; that's something I wouldn't want anyone to have to endure.) I don't believe anyone wants to know that they're sick. You could argue that it would be better to know if it was a serious matter as it would give you an opportunity, borrowing from a Tim McGraw song, "to live like you were dying". (That's a silly concept to me seeing as how we're all going to die someday, so we should all be living life to the fullest regardless of our own unique situations.) But isn't an awareness of your own mortality what's stated as being the primary cause behind this potential mid-life crisis of mine? What an evil cycle I've revealed, indeed.

Despite my state of mind when it comes to doctors, I've agreed to go in for an initial consultation with a physician that my wife has been seeing for quite some time now (I make it sound as if I had some sort of negotiation over the matter). Hooray, an excuse for the fact that I pay for medical insurance! I'm sure I'll get poked and prodded, and with any luck I'll get to wear one of those awesome examination gowns. Who knows, if I'm particularly lucky I may even get the old "Roto-Rooter" treatment!

Beyond seeing a doctor, what am I doing to combat this issue? I've expressed my frustrations to my wife about how I've become so focused on two things - our house and my job - that I've completely lost touch with my own personal interests. Additionally, I have next to no social life whatsoever. I'm going to make a real effort at getting back into the kinds of things I used to enjoy before, specifically my beloved video games and attending pro wrestling cards as well as concerts more often. I think that will help significantly as those are the kinds of entertainment I need, something that will take my mind away from the trappings of normalcy.

I've also got a few other things in mind that I'd like to pick up, those being hobbies that I've felt drawn to in the past but now recognize the opportunity to actually engage in them. One is buying a set of golf clubs and trying my hand at the game; I played a long time ago with my Grandfather and it seems like a sport I could get into relatively easily. I'm not saying that I'll be good at it but I'd at least like to try. The other is getting myself a bass guitar and learning to play. I've been infatuated with bass ever since I was a teenager, and I even tried to put together some money to buy a guitar back then but my parents didn't see that as a good idea so it never panned out. Again, it's something that would take some work on my part in order to develop a set of skills I don't currently have but that's the idea here, to add something to my life that will require dedication but that will also be fulfilling and enjoyable. I don't think either is necessarily a bad decision but between the two I'm leaning towards the golf clubs. Why? They would get me outside and provide some exercise whereas the bass would have me sitting around indoors. We're trying to get healthy here, after all, not worsen matters.

All things considered, am I truly that bad off? No, not really. I live in a beautiful piece of Small Town, USA with a woman that I love dearly. I'm gainfully employed. I have just about everything I've ever wanted. In the grand scheme of things, I should be as happy as a pig in slop. That's the frustrating aspect of psychological issues like a mid-life crisis, though. Sometimes you can't see the good for what's in the way, no matter how miniscule the blockade may seem to others. Giving up is the only real defeat in this set of circumstances, though, and that's something I absolutely won't do. I will adapt, I will overcome, and this will get better.

And who knows, I may start a band.

Movie Review - GI Joe: Retaliation

Like pretty much every other little boy who had the distinct privilege of having been born in the 1980s (a truly epic decade in terms of cultural and technological advancements), I played with Hasbro's GI Joe toys and I truly loved them. To me, they were awesome - I found them so appealing because they combined cutting edge military technology and exciting possibilities for battlefield carnage thanks to the assortment of vehicles & weapons available to both the heroic GI Joes and the villainous forces of Cobra. I would stage battles routinely, both indoors and out; truth be told, I had a sandbox in my Grandparents back yard and I would quite often have burial ceremonies for fallen combatants after the war of the day had concluded. (PRO-TIP: Don't bury GI Joe figures in wet sand, it ruins the joints.) I went so far as to get characters from other series involved in the mix. I know I wasn't the first kid to have He-Man fighting side by side with Snake Eyes or to wonder what would happen if Star Scream hooked up with Baroness.

Okay, that last one might have been a bit weird (not to mention physically impossible), but the point of that opening paragraph was to say that the GI Joe toys were a big part of my childhood. It goes without saying that the live-action GI Joe movies are of significant interest to me, if for no other reason than the fact that they project the kind of nostalgic sensations that are, fittingly enough, generally reserved for hero worship. Throw in some of the most well-known action stars in the modern era of movie-making with a whole bunch of explosions and you've got the makings for a fine afternoon of cinema - or, as is the case with GI Joe: Retaliation, an entertaining but ultimately mindless and rather disjointed movie that doesn't live up to the expectations of little boys like me who've gotten older but haven't necessarily grown up yet.

Set not too long after the events of its predecessor, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Retaliation's plot picks up with the world of the Joes mirroring that of our own. Occurrences in countries like Pakistan and North Korea are creating instability in different regions and the Joes are doing what they do best - fighting under the flag of the United States as a group of highly trained and outfitted soldiers using special tactics and covert techniques to prevent dangerous munitions from getting into the hands of the enemies of freedom. Trouble rears it's ugly head when Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), a Cobra operative masquerading as the President of the US since the actual President (Jonathan Pryce) was kidnapped during The of Rise of Cobra, begins setting into motion a plan that will set free Cobra Commander from a suspended animation prison and completely decimate the Joes. Having been set loose by Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) and Firefly (Ray Stevenson), Cobra Commander lashes out with a diabolical strategy to simultaneously disarm the world's nuclear powers and destroy them using a series of satellites serving as weapon platforms equipped with armaments capable of laying waste to entire cities. With minimal resources and personnel, the surviving Joes - Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Snake Eyes (Ray Park) - must fight back to reclaim America and, in fact, the rest of the world from the evil clutches of Cobra.

I can't talk about Retaliation without mentioning the fact that it sat on a shelf in a somewhat completed state for almost a year before finally being released in theaters. Originally, this movie was supposed to have debuted in June of 2012 but it was delayed by Paramount Pictures as they saw fit to convert the film to 3D and also re-shoot part of the thing in order to increase Channing Tatum's involvement. I fail to understand the benefit of either of these moves. As a moviegoer, 3D does nothing for me - I still see it as a gimmick designed to bilk people out of a few extra bucks at the box office. And regarding Tatum, ladies, please don't kid yourselves - he's not naked in this one. For that matter, he's barely in the movie at all. That's not necessarily a bad thing as I was growing tired of his portrayal of Duke as the cocky high school quarterback by the point in time that he gets blown up (darn, my spoiler alert button appears to be malfunctioning).

Dwayne Johnson is the real star here although with a line-up this big he's got a lot of other players competing with him for screen time. Roadblock is a good role for him as it fits and plays to his abilities, but there's not enough substance here to give him something worth hanging his hat on. Despite his many acting gigs, Johnson is still waiting for the part that makes him an icon, in my opinion. He hasn't yet found his Terminator or Die Hard, is what I'm getting at, but even so he's plenty capable of being entertaining.

On another note, me being the pro wrestling fan that I am it still feels odd to have to refer to him as Dwayne Johnson and not The Rock - even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is weird, although not as bad.

As for the rest of the cast, Bruce Willis is the most recognizable face and definitely the one with the most credentials. His part here is that of the grizzled veteran who knows better than to stand down even though he's been long since taken out of active duty. For all intents and purposes, Ray Stevenson is the most prolific villain in Retaliation but that's mostly due to the fact that his cohorts are all wearing masks of some sort or another. I'm a fan of Stevenson's, even though he's definitely not a household name. If you're into zombie movies or gritty horror mixed with sci-fi, find a copy of a film Stevenson starred in called Outpost - I think you'll be glad you did.

Speaking of actors in masks, Ray Park reprises the role of Snake Eyes in Retaliation, a part which sees him donning a full helmet as was the case with the character originally in the cartoon series. Park is best known for his work as Darth Maul in Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace and also for having played Toad in Bryan Singer's X-Men. He's the type of actor who doesn't receive much fanfare (stuntmen rarely get the respect they deserve), and unfortunately Snake Eyes doesn't get much to do here. There's a major sequence in which he participates but it didn't have any sort of impact upon me. It's an example of a scene that should really grab you by the seat of your pants yet manages to feel mostly flat because of it being rushed and poorly plotted.

D.J. Cotrona is more or less here to fill out a part as his work with Flint isn't at all distinctive, but I blame the script for that more than I do him as an actor; he can only do what's on the page, after all. Adrianne Palicki adds some much-needed femininity to the core group of surviving Joes, however there's not a whole lot of effort put into establishing her character outside of a rather typical "girl who wanted to work hard to prove she could do it" back story. Palicki, if you weren't aware, was cast to play the title part in a Wonder Woman TV series for which NBC filmed a pilot episode but never went further than that.

Shame to see that costume go to waste.

For me, the plot of this film and the writing behind it is a big part of why Retaliation is ultimately rather dull. (Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick penned the script; they had a hit in the form of Zombieland but that magic isn't anywhere to be found in Retaliation.) This is the sort of thing that happens when you're dealing with a story that is trying to include 10 or more primary characters packed into a movie that's not even 2 hours long. You can't establish emotional connectivity and get everything else in, so what gets sacrificed? The emotional connections, I'm sad to say. Oh, Duke died? Go figure! (Spoiler Alert Button Status: still malfunctioning.) It winds up being action and explosions for the sake of having action and explosions, not because there's any substantive reasoning for either. Maybe I'm off my rocker for expecting more out of this material, but I persist in the thought that even something as silly as a kids cartoon can be converted into a piece of work suitable for all audiences that manages to have heart and logic included.

One of my biggest pet peeves about an action movie like Retaliation is the music, specifically the lack of anything resembling recognizable, thematic scoring. Consider classic action heroes and their musical accompaniment. Superman has theme music. Indiana Jones has theme music. James Bond has theme music. Harry Potter has theme music. Hell, for that matter, Forrest Gump has theme music. Why then do the GI Joes not get theme music? The closest thing I heard to a consistent piece of music herein was something that cropped up a couple times in battle sequences which, to my ears, sounded a whole heck of a lot like Rammstein's "Reise Reise". That doesn't pass muster for a true theme, though, not in my book. A theme should be bombastic, consistent, and immediately recognizable - the sounds I point out weren't any of that. I know it would be corny but I'd have sufficed for a revamped version of one of the themes from the GI Joe cartoons - something, anything to add to the ambiance of the movie.

 

GI Joe: Retaliation isn't a terrible movie by any means although I'd say it certainly does fall into the category of mindless Summer-time action flicks. I've read some criticisms of Retaliation wherein the writer opines that this movie is better than GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Personally, I liked The Rise of Cobra better. With all the technology and gear flying around in addition to the colorful personalities involved, it just felt more like a true GI Joe story whereas Retaliation comes across as being GI Joe interpreted through the eyes of someone who's played a bit too much Call of Duty.

Knowing what I know now, would I pay money to see it again? Probably not, and I certainly wouldn't pony up the extra $4-$5 for the 3D "experience". This is the kind of movie that I would more often than not reserve for an occasion where I'm browsing Netflix at 6 AM on a Saturday because I can't sleep and need something to kill time until my wife is up and around.

Prom Dresses - Another Reason I Hope to Never Have a Daughter

I didn't realize this but apparently it's prom season - not that I have any reason to realize it's prom season, obviously, being a man approaching 33 years of age with no association to anyone who'll be attending such an event. Writing this entry forced me to realize that in a few short weeks it will have, in fact, been 15 years since I graduated as a member of the class of 1998 from Buford High School in Lancaster, SC. I attended several proms during my years as a student there and while I can't say that I particularly enjoyed them (after the 1997 prom, I was forced to watch Jerry Maguire in a packed movie theater while wearing a tuxedo and shoes that I'm sure defied some portion of the Geneva Convention) the experience of going to prom is one of those things that high school kids should go through as a right of passage, much like awkward sex ed classes made even more so because of the fact they're being taught by a member of the athletic staff instead of someone who actually knows a thing or two about anatomy and biology. Even so, it's my opinion that students and school faculty members should work to make prom a memorable and classy occasion.

Judging by a prom dress my wife & I saw recently while out to dinner at a local hibachi restaurant, I question whether or not maintaining the classy aspect is all that popular these days.

My wife & I had already been seated at a grill and we were enjoying our soup and salads when the group of prom-goers in question entered. I immediately noticed the dress and the young lady wearing it because quite frankly it was impossible not to acknowledge its presence in the room. It was kind of like someone wandering in with a giant, blinking neon sign reading "LOOK AT ME!" over their head while dancing an Irish jig and playing a kazoo. Okay, maybe the dress wasn't that absurd but it wasn't far from that.

The dress she was wearing resembled a sleeveless tutu as the top was designed to look like a corset. I assume ordinary tutus have sleeves - forgive me for being a dunce when it comes to the names of dress components; I've gotten through life thus far without needing to know what they are and I'm not about to learn them now. It was sequined and quite shiny, kind of like a fishing lure. That's an appropriate analogy seeing as how the top was barely doing its job of keeping her bosoms from an inadvertent deployment, if you catch my drift. That's the sort of thing few men, especially those in the 16-18 years of age demographic, can avert their eyes from gazing upon, hence the lure reference. The skirt-portion of the ensemble had lots of tulle and frills, and it stuck out quite a bit so as to create something of a halo or perimeter around the wearer.

I've tried to describe it as best I can but a visual aide never hurts. This dress is as close as I could find to the one she was wearing.

[SIDE NOTE: We noticed that the girl I'm describing was wearing cowboy boots. Really? I know we live in the South, but wearing cowboy boots to prom? You might as well show up riding your Daddy's best heifer.]

The girl we saw was more ample in the chesticular region than the model above, and the dress was barely doing its job of containing her. I guess you could blame either the dress itself or the girl for having picked a size that wasn't suitable to her physique. I think some strategic usage of duct tape would've helped matters but even so it would've been like putting a band-aid on a shotgun wound in terms of trying to recover some sense of modesty from the entirety of the thing. While the top was revealing enough, the skirt supplied only a bare minimum amount of coverage. A suitable amount of wind or even a poorly timed dance move would've been all that was needed to expose her nethers.

And yes, if you were wondering, this is fairly uncomfortable for me to talk about seeing as how this girl was young enough to make me feel as though I was going to be sent to jail for looking at her. I apologized to my wife in advance but she said my doing so wasn't necessary seeing as how this young lass was the one who was putting herself out there for everyone to see. I have to hand it to her for being reasonable enough to acknowledge the crudity of the scenario.

"What's the difference between this outfit and a bathing suit?", you might ask. That's an entirely different subject but the same standards apply. Ladies can wear a bathing suit that accentuates their features without making themselves look trashy. To me, that's the category this dress falls into - something that is thought to be stylish but winds up being tasteless.

I gather a dress like this is allowed in whatever prom these kids were attending. Truth be told, I think if a girl had come to one of the proms I went to wearing a dress like that they'd have been sent home.  Of course things were different when I was in school; teachers and faculty were still recognized as authority figures whereas now the age of liberal thinking has taken over academia and the inmates seem to be running the asylum in most cases.

Please, someone kick the soapbox out from underneath me before I wander off again...

It somewhat pains me to admit this but it's conceivable that I could have a daughter the age of this girl. The fact that this is acceptable formal wear in this day and age makes me shudder at the thought of what will be seen as being within the boundaries of good taste if/when any daughters my wife & I may have get to that point in their lives. This is yet another reason why I pray we don't have a daughter or daughters - I have enough things to stress myself out over as is. I don't need to spend every day reminding myself that little boys will always be little boys (I include myself in that description) and that my daughter will be in a world filled with them.

Should it come to that, maybe if I maim one or two of them the rest will get the idea? If you've got to go to prison, an assault charge at the expense of defending your child isn't all that bad I'd say.

How My Wife & I Met

I try to put some thought into my blogs and the topics that I discuss herein. I think, for the most part, I use this here publication of mine as more of a platform from which I shout my opinions rather than as a personal journal. For some reason that's started to bother me - I don't know if it's a matter of me recognizing that visitors to this site may not always give two short shakes of a short sheep's tail about what I have to say or if I've merely gotten into a mindset of sentimentality. Regardless, I feel as though I should share personal stories with my readers on a more frequent basis. That said, with this entry I'd like to detail the series of events that lead up to my wife & I meeting.

Before I begin I'll be totally forthright by saying that our getting together is a bit of an involved story. Do try to keep up, won't you?

I moved from my hometown of Lancaster, South Carolina to Orangeburg, SC in the latter part of January 2008. I'd accepted a job with Orangeburg County's information technology department. The move was necessary seeing as how Orangeburg and Lancaster aren't neighbors, geographically speaking (the two are separated by roughly 105 miles - not exactly what you'd call an agreeable commute). It would mark the second portion of my life I'd lived away from home, the first having been my time in Florence, SC as a student at Francis Marion University. This occasion would be an entirely different experience as I was moving to a city of which I had no real knowledge. For that matter, the only two people in the area I actually knew prior to relocating were my Aunt & Uncle. Of course they were extremely helpful in getting me situated in my new surroundings, but it wasn't too long after I'd moved that I began longing for social interaction - and by "social interaction" I mean the sort involving a lady (bow-chicka-bow-wow).

The problem was I had no idea where to go to meet people in Orangeburg or any of the areas nearby. Women that I'd dated previously were gals that I'd met via an association like school or through some other proxy which made them accessible. In my new workplace, the only women I regularly interacted with were much older than me and usually married - individuals from neither group were suitable for this effort. I considered asking my co-workers if maybe any of them knew someone they could introduce me to, but the more I thought of that the more it began to strike me as being horribly awkward for them and me. The thought of someone, on my behalf, saying to a friend or relative of theirs "Hey, a guy I work with but don't really know all that well is looking for a girlfriend...You interested?" was just too weird. By this point in time I was 28 years old; in my mind, I was too old to try and assimilate into the college crowd of Columbia. The last thing I wanted to do was to join some crazy bar scene. I've never been a fan of bars, period, making the concept of me, the admittedly socially awkward person I am, cruising for chicks in that kind of environment being all the more ridiculous. What options was I left with? Not many, quite frankly, at least not of the traditional variety. Could I find someone interested in me by way of the Internet? It only made sense to try.

I'd seen ads for services like eHarmony that seemed like they would be worth a shot - it wasn't that their services were all that expensive but, me being the frugal person I am, having to pay to get on board with a system like that made me sour to the whole thing. Where to, then? The often crazy world of Craigslist, naturally.

If you're not familiar with it, Craigslist is a site that attracts people because of the fact that it facilitates just about every kind of transaction imaginable between individuals, whether it be trading a bed for a pair of boots or trying to find a roommate. It's not like eBay in that the site functions as an intermediary to funnel the monetary end of the business, rather it is something of a host through which people communicate. Posts made to the site are sorted by region, which is as efficient a mechanism as could be devised. In addition to business dealings, there's also a vast personals section on CL and it was there that I made a submission regarding my search for someone special.

Writing a personal ad is like tiptoeing through a minefield, or at least it was for me. I wanted to say enough about myself that I'd seem appealing but I didn't want to come across as being an egotistical sort of person. That's tough to do seeing as how you're trying to convince a prospective girlfriend that they should want to get to know you better using nothing more than text. I had no idea what sort of response I'd receive, or if I'd even get a response. As fate would have it, I got a few nibbles initially - but none from the woman who would eventually become my wife.

The process was an evolution of sorts. I'd exchange emails with the ladies who'd responded to my ad then if it seemed like it was worthwhile we'd talk on the phone. After that came the actual dates, of which there were 3, not counting my first date with my wife (I'm leaving that out for a reason). The first girl I took out was nice; we met at the Edisto Memorial Gardens and walked around for a while then went to dinner at Applebee's. I must not have left much of an impression on her because I never heard from her again. (Consequently I don't remember her name.) The second willing lass was named Carla. She and I went out a few times, and we got along alright but Carla had two children from a previous relationship. As time went by, I got the feeling that she was trying to find a father for her kids - while it was a noble effort on her part, I didn't feel like I was ready for that. I felt bad at the time for ending the relationship (I could respect her struggle what with my having been raised by a single Mom as well) but it was better to be frank with her about my issues than to lead her on. The third date was with a girl named Courtney.

I'm going to try and handle this as gentlemanly as I can because I could do otherwise and come off as a real prick. Courtney thought highly of herself, for lack of a better way of putting it. We went out for a few weeks and there were times where it seemed like a decent arrangement but realistically we didn't have that much in common. I got the feeling she was using me to help her in getting over another relationship, or trying to, and wasn't quite over it yet.

I knew our relationship was going to end but it became official (in my mind, at least) when Courtney sent me a text message stating that we needed to talk. She didn't want to talk then, though - that would've been too convenient. She wanted to talk the following Saturday afternoon, after we'd gone to Riverbanks Zoo and had a meal at Golden Corral (both of which would be on my dime, naturally). We were sitting in my truck and she more or less told me she thought it would be best if we saw other people. Fine by me, don't let the door hit you in the keister on your way out - I had somewhere else to be, you see.

I mentioned Courtney sent me the "we need to talk" text earlier in the week. I knew we were over at that point in time; it might not have been as official as a signed contract but the fact of the matter is that we were through, right then and there. She knew it (even though she might not have admitted it) and I knew it. This is why I decided it would be worth my while to reply when I got an email from another girl responding to my Craigslist ad.

The email was from a girl named Jill Moak, a girl whose name is now Jill Truesdale.

Jill and I decided to go out, but it was my decision to take her out for our first date on the same day that my previous relationship "officially" ended. Two dates in one day - it's the sort of move that could be classified as brilliant or stupid depending on how the whole thing shakes out. And before anyone gets an idea to the contrary regarding my character, let me say that I'd never done anything like this before. And no, I didn't tell Jill I'd gone out with someone else that morning; I lied and told her I'd been out on the water with a co-worker who had bought a new boat. Yes, it was wrong of me to lie to her, I admit that. All I can say is that it seemed like a better way of handling it than the alternative at the time.

Just to recap what we've learned about me from that previous paragraph: 1) I am of strong moral character when it comes to protecting the integrity of relationships, and 2) I am of terrible moral character when it comes to thinking it's alright to tell a little white lie if it means protecting others' perception of me.

Fortunately for me, things went quite well that first night. I took her to Cracker Barrel (which is the equivalent of a 4-star restaurant for those of us who live in the South) after which we went back to the house I was renting at the time and watched a true cinematic classic, Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles.

Guys, if you want to know how to impress a girl, that's how it's done - feed her food covered in gravy then make her watch a movie with potentially more racially insensitive jokes than any other in the history of Hollywood. If she hangs with you after that, she's a keeper.

I must have known something about how our relationship would go on to develop after that first date. I used to keep receipts back then as I balanced my checkbook using an Excel spreadsheet. I'd shred the receipts after I'd recorded them, but something told me I should hang onto that particular receipt. I still have it to this day.

Remember the part where I said my wife & I meeting was an involved story? This is where the involved part comes in.

The week after Courtney & I broke up and Jill & I first went out was going alright. I'd been with Orangeburg County for almost a year by then and I was settling in well. One day I noticed that I'd gotten a new text message from Courtney. I can't remember the entire message but it went something like this: "I know about Jill...I can't believe you would do this to me! Do you have any idea how I feel now? I don't know that I'll ever be able to trust anyone ever again!"

After I read that, I was angry, I was mad, I was confused, and yet I was somehow amused by her comments. It wasn't as if we were together for all that long (it was maybe a month, tops, that we'd been seeing each other), yet she made it out as if I had been the love of her life and had dashed all her dreams for the future. I won't bore you with the argument that ensued - it amounted to a lot of finger pointing, as you'd expect - but what stuck out in my mind was a single question: How did she know about Jill?

As it would turn out, Jill and Courtney had a mutual friend whose name I won't reveal; for the sake of this blog, we'll refer to her as Gertrude. (True but sad story about my childhood - "Gertrude" was a nickname that got hung on me by one of my best friends in high school. I have no idea where it came from, so don't ask.) Gertrude had heard of me through talking to Courtney. I gather that the two of them were good buddies as they apparently shared a lot of information about me, so much so that Gertrude felt Jill and I had a fair amount of common interests which is why she told Jill about my Craigslist ad. Did Gertrude know that Courtney and I were about to be over? Had Courtney told Gertrude of her plans to break up with me? I have no idea, honestly. Gertrude and I are friends now but I've never asked her those questions - I have no need for the answers at this point in my life, but back then they would've at least helped me to solidify in my mind whether or not Courtney was genuinely emotional about our break-up or if she was being completely unreasonable for the sake of being completely unreasonable.

A week or so later, Courtney sent me another text: "I wish I'd given us a second chance." I never responded to it, I had no reason to. That ship had sailed, to continue my nautical theme, and I was hoping it wouldn't be heard from ever again.

I knew that I had feelings for Jill but I didn't tell her I loved her until a while later when we were sitting in my truck after having seen Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert at the Colonial Life Arena in Columbia, SC. What sealed the deal, you ask? A confessed mutual appreciation for a variety of sushi known as a crunch roll. No, really - that was all I needed to hear to affirm that I loved this girl who'd entered my life at a point when I needed someone more than I ever had before.

It's a tired phrase but the rest, as they say, is history. Here we are almost 5 years later, on the verge of celebrating our third wedding anniversary. In the grand scheme of things we really haven't been together that long, certainly not when compared to some other couples that we know who are our age. It feels as though we've been together for much longer, though - don't get me wrong, I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean to say that it feels as if we should've been together all along but neither of us were quite ready for each other yet. We, us, happened when it was supposed to happen and I've never stopped being thankful that it did.

Wrestlemania 29 - My Picks vs. Reality

Wrestlemania 29 has come and gone, and it seems as though a lot of the IWC (or Internet Wrestling Community, for those of you not in the know - which included me until I looked up that acronym just moments ago) aren't exactly thrilled with the outcomes of the matches. It seems as though WM29 is being looked at as one of the more disappointing Wrestlemania cards of all time and I can't say that I necessarily disagree with that opinion. There were very few surprises coming out of World Wrestling Entertainment's biggest event of the year, which would seemingly continue WWE's progression towards going with storylines & angles which favor maintaining the marketability of the product over taking chances with innovative possibilities. This is where professional wrestling as a form of performance art gets tampered with by stockholders and bean counters. That said, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon just ran an event that drew over 80,000 attendees, generated more than 12 million pay-per-view buys and who runs a billion-dollar industry. Meanwhile, I'm just a guy with a blog - I'll defer to the man who could use $100 bills as toilet paper as opposed to trying to convince anyone that I know better, at least in this context.

As for my WM29 picks, I'd say that I did well overall, finishing with a record of 6-2.  There was one match which I did not pick as a result of it having been added to the pre-show card after I'd published my previous entry, that being the Miz vs. Wade Barrett for Barrett's Intercontinental Championship. Miz defeated Barrett for the title; he's been on an intense climb as of late, and had I been aware of that match prior to releasing my blog with picks I'd have definitely chosen him as the winner. I won't be so bold as to retcon my picks, though, so my record for WM29 shall hold strong at 6-2.

There was another match added to the card after I'd made my predictions in the form an inter-gender 8-person tag team match: Brodus Clay, Tensai & the Funk-adactyls vs. Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes and the Bella Twins. However, this bout wound up getting bumped off the card at the last minute. I'm not sure if it was because of time restrictions or what exactly but I hate it for all those involved. Performing at Wrestlemania is a dream for every professional wrestler and I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have the rug yanked out from under you in such a way as that. To make matters worse is the fact that WWE, despite having promoted the match in advance of WM29, appears to now be attempting to scrub it from ever having been a part of their planning as all mentions of it have been removed from content associated with the event.

At any rate, here are the full results from WM29 with my remarks tacked onto the matches I failed to correctly project.

1) The Miz def. Wade Barrett to win the Intercontinental Championship

2) The Shield def. Sheamus, Randy Orton & Big Show

3) Mark Henry def. Ryback

If you look back at my predictions, I mentioned the fact that having Mark Henry win here would do a lot towards elevating him as a top heel seeing as how Ryback, up until WM29, had been on a tear. The fact that WWE saw fit to put over Henry in a decisive manner means that he's in someone's good graces at this point in time; I would hope that he is because Henry really has been turning in some quality performances over the past year and looks like a legitimate monster. While Henry hopefully has many more good years of competing in him, I would say that the time is now for Mark seeing as how he's on the verge of his 42nd birthday. Pro wrestling, much like any pro sport, is a young man's game. Mark has shown repeatedly that he's not bulletproof and his being up there in age won't help matters.

I would say that Ryback is due for some repackaging. He just does not come off to me as a guy for whom the fans should be cheering. I would say he could benefit greatly from being taken under the wing of a manager, handler or mouthpiece but those are roles WWE doesn't seem keen on filling these days and that's a real shame. There was a point in time where a guy like Ryback who has obviously tremendous physical gifts could go farther with their potential by being paired up with a great manager. I'm not sure when managers became a bad thing but regardless of that Ryback is a prime example of a guy who could go from being just another ticked-off meat head to a real villain just by giving him a dastardly ally to play off of and rely upon to make the crowd hate them both.

4) Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan) def. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship

5) Fandago def. Chris Jericho

6) Alberto Del Rio def. Jack Swagger to retain the World Championship

7) The Undertaker def. CM Punk

8) HHH def. Brock Lesnar

I'm not surprised at how this match ended. To think that Hunter would ever have someone like Brock Lesnar be the one to retire him was a mistake on my part, however I will say that it seemed like a decent potentiality at the time. Helmsley is an executive within the upper ranks of WWE management now, meaning his in-ring career as a wrestler isn't his sole focus anymore. There will come a point in time where he hangs up his boots, but that time isn't here yet.

Brock Lesnar is left without much direction coming out of this match. He and Hunter have been at each other for quite some time now, and as a result of their feud seemingly coming to an end Brock is - well, Brock is left without a dancing partner, at least not one that naturally springs to mind. I've seen some rumors floating around that WWE is interested in having Brock feud with The Rock in the future, but that shouldn't be taken as anymore more than pure speculation for now.

9) John Cena def. The Rock to win the WWE Championship