Tuesday, June 14, 2011

WWE Tough Enough 2011 was rigged...

Possibly rigged - I forgot to put the "possibly" in that headline on purpose, see, because making a bold claim therein then retcon-ing the thing in the body of a blog post is allowable since this sort of journalism (Stop laughing, I mean it!) is all about grabbing people's attention...And making things up to suit your opinion on a given matter, obviously, although I think I've got a pretty good angle going here.

WWE's Tough Enough program - a reality show wherein contestants (some with prior professional wrestling training and others without) compete for a WWE talent contract, if you weren't aware - originally aired in 2001 and enjoyed success across four seasons and multiple networks before being put on hiatus.  The show was a launching pad for several well known WWE Superstars including such names as The Miz and John Morrison, and what's more it gave true hope to aspiring wrestlers who perform in slummy venues for crooked promoters that the day might come when they too would have a chance to show off their skills, perhaps to earn their way onto the WWE roster.  It was a great concept that came around at the right moment as reality programming was all the rage in the United States at the time.  So, naturally, when WWE announced earlier this year that they were bringing Tough Enough back, fans and wrestlers alike took notice with many sending in audition tapes praying that their submission might be enough to draw the interest of the biggest professional wrestling company on the planet.

The cast of the 2011 edition of WWE Tough Enough wound up consisting of 14 individuals with some interesting backgrounds as they relate to wrestling and television.  From the research I've conducted (i.e., I Google'd it), it appears as though only one member of the cast had no prior wrestling experience and had never been on a reality show previously (Ariane Andrew, who has been famously quoted as stating her favorite wrestling match of all time - yes, OF ALL TIME - is Alicia Fox vs. Melina).  Of the remaining 13 cast-mates, 7 had training and exposure to the independent professional wrestling scene, 3 had been on TV as part of other programs (Michelle Deighton, "America's Next Top Model"; Rima Fakih, Miss USA pageant; Jeremiah Riggs, "The Ultimate Fighter: Team Rampage vs. Team Forrest" ), and 3 had spent some length of time as members of the Florida Championship Wrestling roster.

This last grouping is the one that leads me to my original point of the show having been rigged all along.  FCW is the official developmental territory of WWE.  To put it in baseball terminology, FCW is the farm system of WWE.  It is where wrestlers with the potential for possibly being worthy of putting onto one of the company's weekly programs are brought for further training and evaluation. (Signing on with FCW does not guarantee a shot at the big-time as many talents have gotten developmental deals only to be let go later on.) They are signed to exclusive contracts (meaning they can't work for any other promotion) and are paid by WWE, just like their colleagues on WWE's main roster.

All this having been said, wouldn't you think it might be a little bit mischievous on the part of WWE to select someone who was technically already one of their employees as the winner of a contest like Tough Enough?  Because that's exactly what they did - meet Andrew Leavine, previously known as FCW talent Kevin Hackman.

He fell into a vat of baby oil the day the picture at left was taken, I'm guessing...

Leavine signed on with FCW around August of 2010 and spent several months with the promotion working under the Kevin Hackman gimmick (the image above is a screen capture of his wrestler profile on FCW's website which was removed after his termination but still visible thanks to how Google caches web pages).  He was involved with a handful of matches but from what I've been able to tell he was never the recipient of a significant push.  Then in February of this year he was released from his contract with FCW - filming for Tough Enough 2011 began that same month.

Andy, as he was known on Tough Enough, was your typical uninteresting, fly below the radar member of a reality show cast; never once did he raise a ruckus or do anything that would make the audience dislike him as he was billed as the family man who was taking this opportunity seriously (he went so far as to declare himself as being straight edge while on the show) in order to give his wife and kids a better life.  He came off as being somewhat bland even though he'd given himself the gimmick of "Silent Rage" and didn't appear to be all that comfortable when confronted with the chance to speak for himself before the show's judges (there were several other members of the cast who excelled in that particular area of performance).  What he may have lacked in terms of presence or charisma he made up for with his size and physical gifts as the 6'5" former collegiate offensive lineman is a true athlete.  Despite his flaws and having been put into the bottom-three ranking contestants the final two weeks of the show, Leavine would be declared the ultimate winner of Tough Enough 2011.

Noticeable during the final episode of the show was the fact that Andy appeared to have been living in a gym from the point in time that he and the other contestants left the training facility where the bulk of the program had been filmed.  By contrast, Luke Robinson - the eventual runner-up to Leavine - looked to have actually lost a fair amount of muscle tone and conditioning in the gap between principal photography and the finale.  Consider that Andy was already living in Florida when this series began.  He might not have had a developmental contract with WWE at that point, however I somehow doubt that he would've been denied access to FCW's facilities and staff.  Not to say that Luke couldn't have gone home to Maine and engorged himself on a diet of cheeseburgers and beer, but to say that the deck wasn't stacked against him would be misguided.

Injuries happen in wrestling, unfortunately, and several of the top contenders from this season of Tough Enough were taken out of action due to mishaps in the ring.  Had those injuries not happened, I sincerely believe the outcome of the show would've been different.  That said, the concept of a ringer or plant on a show like Tough Enough who could be something of a contingency plan shouldn't have shocked me the way it did when I found out that Andy was essentially already on his way to becoming a WWE Superstar.  This is the world of professional wrestling we're talking about, after all, meaning that if there was ever a scenario where a likely winner was chosen before the starting bell had even been rung it would be this one.  Which makes me wonder, should this actually bother me?  Should I care that something as trivial as a TV show turned out the way it did?

I've watched a great many young talents come through the Carolinas who are at least as talented as anyone who was on Tough Enough 2011, if not more so.  In my heart of hearts, I wanted this show to be an example of how dream fulfillment is still possible with hard work and a little luck on your side.  As it turns out, it was more of a slap in the face to every independent wrestler and a whole bunch of wishful thinkers who took the time to put together submission materials to get onto the show, daring to believe even for a moment that they might actually have a chance at participating, much less winning this contest.  With any luck this show will be cancelled, again, hopefully for good this time.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

An Offer for Credit Card Companies

It's been said that "money is what makes the world go 'round".  In reality, what makes the world "go 'round" are the effects of gravity and inertia from the rotation of the sun which was applied to the planets of our solar system when they were created many, many eons ago.  Money, as it turns out, doesn't actually do much of anything seeing as how it's an inanimate object the value of which is a complete machination of mankind's foolishness.  There's two things that truly do go together, though - money and foolishness.

I have two credit cards, which I gather from watching television and reading various news reports is quite out of the ordinary when compared to the majority of the population.  If those sources are to be believed (and I trust them about as much as I'd trust a hungry lion to watch Rusty, my blind pet cow who also happens to have bad knees), it seems as if most folks in the good ol' U-S-of-A have anywhere from 4 to 7 of the things with an average total balance around $15,000.

And people wonder how the economy got to where it is right now...

Personally, I don't much believe in the concept of buying things you can't afford with money that isn't your own, hence my only having two credit cards.  One of my cards is an in-store account I used to purchase my beloved big screen television, which I paid off in less than a year and incurred no interest or finance charges as a result.  I haven't used that card since then and honestly don't plan on using it again any time soon.  The other card I applied for as a result of having to purchase a certain piece of jewelry in order to get a certain someone to agree to spend the rest of her life putting up with my shenanigans and roguishness (Hi, honey!).  I've used it for a few other emergency scenarios along the way, but even so my outstanding balance as of this writing is less than $2,000. (I also have no other debts to speak of - no car payment, no student loans, nothing.)

Why don't I buy more things with it?  Trust me, there's plenty I'd like to have, such as a Canon PowerShot SX20IS.  One of the many odd things about me is that I suffer from an ailment known as buyer's remorse, meaning that after I've purchased something (no matter how big or small) I have immediate regrets and can't help but think of what else that money might have been used to obtain.  Even if the item in question is something I genuinely want, such as a Canon PowerShot SX20IS, I'm still going to feel that same way.  As a result of this, I've gotten to a point where I can talk myself out of buying virtually anything, including a Canon PowerShot SX20IS.  I conduct an internal cost vs. reward scenario and better than 98% of the time I wind up walking out of a store empty handed because of it.

Case in point, I've been going back and forth for almost a month now about whether or not to buy a new iPod (instead of a Canon PowerShot SX20IS).  Another ailment I suffer through is techno-envy, and it's been bothering me pretty badly here recently as I've been noticing a whole bunch of my fellow gym-folk roaming about our local YMCA with some really neat devices.  Regardless of that, the result of this conflict has been me putting a whole bunch of effort into resurrecting an old iPod Nano I bought years ago and modifying a cheap carrying case I picked up at Wal-Mart so that it would fit around my arm (because these guns are too big to be holstered in your average case).  $200 for a new iPod or $10 for a case so I can carry around my old iPod - this is my plight.

Of all the psychological issues I could've developed, I don't think this one is so bad.  Sure, there's a touch of depression involved, but at least I don't have creditors breathing down my neck wanting to know why I haven't made my payment yet.  Ultimately, the combination of my being fairly conservative when it comes to financial matters in general and my buyer's remorse are what keeps my spending habits in check as it relates to credit.

I don't get any help from the credit card companies, though, seeing as how they persistently tempt me with offers for new cards.  They are so persistent, in fact, that a while back I began hanging onto every credit card offer I received in the mail.

Attempted product placement - Pepsi, I <3 YOU!!!

What you see there is roughly eight months worth of mailers.  If this was actual SPAM and not the metaphorical kind, I'd have enough canned meat to keep a family of four fed for at least a month (note that I said "fed" and not "well nourished" as I'm fairly certain your colon would fling itself out of your belly button if you put that much SPAM through it).  I would not be so vain as to assume that I'm alone in receiving this sort of volume of mail from these companies.  I think I'm safe to assume that anyone who's shown at least a willingness to accept one credit card has made themselves a target for their promotions.  Unfortunately, I have yet to be sent an opt out form.

Consider that stack of mail and all that was involved in generating it.  The combined costs of time and energy needed to produce them, the materials involved in their manufacture, and the postage needed to send them from point A (which I'm assuming is somewhere between Hell and Purgatory) to point B (my mailbox) - I'm sure the amount of money we're talking about is no small sum, yet these creditors have displayed a genuine zeal for distributing their propaganda without care for whether or not it is effective in gathering new victi...Er, customers.  For this reason, I'm extending an offer to these companies.

ATTENTION CREDIT CARD COMPANIES!  Seeing as how I have no intention of making unnecessary usage of your products beyond what I currently have incurred and given that I recognize the frivolous nature of your continued efforts to woo me into the cantankerous and pustule-covered void that is your poisoned bosom, I propose a compromise.  I will accept a one-time payment of the estimated, combined costs of what you would've otherwise spent on sending me credit card offers for the remainder of my life in exchange for you never sending me another piece of unwanted mail ever again.

Given that I am currently 30 years old and accepting that the average life span for a male living in South Carolina is 71.62 years, I have approximately 41 years of life remaining.  Taking into account the current postage rate and the fact that I have received exactly 60 mailed offers over an 8 month period, it is calculated that $26.40 has been spent on postage alone for an average of $3.30 per month.  41 years equates to 499.44 months, which when multiplied by the average per month postage expense equals $1,648.15.  I assume that your processes are largely automated, meaning that these mailers are more than likely never touched by a human hand until they are prepared for delivery.  This being the case, it is difficult to calculate the cost of production.  Be that as it may, I am willing to assume that the amount will be in the area of $8,351.85.  Totaling the expense of postage with the estimated maintenance costs, the amount of money I've determined to be a suitable reparation is $10,000.

Please transmit these funds at your nearest convenience - I eagerly await your compliance with this most agreeable compromise.