The Gift of Getting Rick Roll'd

I won a Community of Character award at my office not quite a year ago.  If you're not from Orangeburg, South Carolina you probably have no idea what the Community of Character initiative is - actually, even if you are from Orangeburg you still probably don't have a clue about it.  That said, the Community of Character initiative is an effort geared towards promoting a specific character trait each month.  These traits include things like generosity, punctuality, patriotism, and a host of others.  The award I won comes into play by way of the fact that my employer promotes a monthly contest wherein employees may nominate one another for having exemplified a given character trait. (There's a committee whose members are responsible for declaring an ultimate winner out of the nominees.) My award was for cleanliness.  Yes, that's right - I'm not a patriot, courageous, or even all that timely, but I will not let dust and grime get the best of me!

If winning an award for cleanliness isn't proof of a related obsessive-compulsive disorder, I don't know what is.  Not that I've ever hidden that aspect of my personality, just that this sort of thing is confirmation of it being obvious and noticeable by others.

At any rate, earlier this week I received a gift from the Community of Character committee. (Keep in mind I won the award for which I received the gift a year ago...Did I mention punctuality is one of the character traits promoted by the Community of Character?) When I saw the gift, I noticed it was neatly wrapped using high quality wrapping paper - the sort of wrapping paper you can tell someone actually spent a decent amount of money on because it feels only slightly less thick than a sheet of Kevlar - and topped with a bow.  Suddenly I felt a real surge of appreciation.  Sure, some people have mocked me for having a consistently clean work area completely free of clutter, but that gift verified that deep down I was doing something right and doing it well!  I was appreciated, and by my peers no less.  What greater achievement could one hope for than the respect of those around you?

I felt a rush of confidence and my expression probably looked something like this...



I couldn't contain my excitement, so I went ahead and opened the gift, tearing into the wrapping paper with reckless abandon.  Upon removing the wrapper, I found this box.



A remote control caddy!  Yes - something that is useful (Admit it, who doesn't have 18 remotes lying around these days?) and also appeals to my obsessive need for hyper-organization!  This was proving to be an awesome gift as it, too, seemed to be showing an incredible level of respect for who I truly am at heart.  It served as validation of my way of life being worthwhile and that my co-workers recognized something admirable within me.  My expression began to change to reflect the emotions now welling up inside me.



I wanted to lay hands on my newest accessory, so I pulled open the box.  I expected to see protective cardboard, plastic, or some combination thereof.  Instead I saw colored tissue paper...

This caused my expression to change so as to reflect my state of mind at this unexpected turn of events.






"What's going on here?", I thought to myself.  I was immediately reminded of an occasion years prior where my Mother was given a ceramic duck as a Christmas gift of the Secret Santa variety - that being one wherein the gift-or didn't have to identify themselves to the gift-ee.  The duck - which became known within our family as Dolly Parton Duck because of the fact that the fowl had a rather pronounced bosom; I've not been around many ducks in my life but I highly doubt one exists in nature with the kind of lady lumps this one exhibited - had been cleverly camouflaged by way of it having been packaged in a box displaying a completely different product.  Surely this fantastic present, this useful item which I was now very much looking forward to implementing into my arsenal of accessories couldn't be a complete and utter ruse, my very own Dolly Parton Duck!

The suspense was killing me!  I removed the tissue paper...And found a portable coffee mug where my remote caddy should've been.



I drink coffee on very rare occasion as I more often than not don't much care for beverages typically served warm.  Case in point, instead of a cup of coffee in the morning I instead rely upon an icy cold Pepsi to give me my morning jolt of caffeine and sugary goodness.  In other words, this gift was about as useful to me as a bucket of kerosine is to someone whose leg is on fire.

My expression?

 

I know I should be appreciative of the fact that I received a gift at all, but dammit' I wanted the remote caddy...