An Update on My Life & Times - March 2014 Edition

I mentioned in a recent entry (this one, about my trip to Winston-Salem, North Carolina for an evening of professional wrestling action with Premiere Wrestling Xperience) about how I'd set a goal for myself this year to publish at least three blog entries a month. It was a do-able quota in my mind, seeing as how it wouldn't require me to be burdened with an arbitrary obligation to churn something out every week but it would also serve as a reminder to use this tool to document the major points of interest from my life (or at least those that I perceive to be as much). That's what an online presence is about for me nowadays, the usage of sites like Blogger, Facebook, etc. towards the purpose of creating a personal repository of memories and experiences. Call it a museum or whatever else you please, I think services like this are a dandy mechanism for recording the brief length of time we're given from the moment we first open our eyes to when they're closed forever that is our lives.

There's no ego in this statement whatsoever but who's to say that (hopefully) years from now (knock-on-wood) after I've long been buried that someone won't find entertainment, solace, or knowledge in my contributions? I'd hope that I've done a worthy job of leaving a lasting impression thus far and to continue doing as much.

Life In General

Things are going pretty well right now, although we're at what comes off as a dull point in the year as far as personal events are concerned. The Holiday Season is behind us, Spring and Summer are still on the horizon, and we're sitting here in the middle. It's not such a bad thing seeing as how it allows for a moment of respite before activities ramp up again once the weather improves.

One thing I can always count on this time of year is a dose of change-of-season crud, which is attributable to my lifelong battle with seasonal allergies. I took injections to treat them throughout my childhood but I get by these days with over-the-counter medication. I'm good for 2 or 3 sinus infections a year and right on schedule I came down with one last week, immediately after we had our first warm day in gosh knows when. I took advantage of the weather that day to start on a woodworking project for which I've had the materials for several months but haven't had the free time, opportunity, or gumption to finish. (I still haven't finished it, to be honest; getting a late start and a few equipment issues set me back, however I'm probably 75% of the way done.) I don't know if I got lambasted with the first dusting of pollen of 2014 or what, but the past week has been filled with sinus pressure, headaches, coughing, and apparently snoring more violent than my usual nightly output.

I don't know that it's ever been proven that people may have a genetic predisposition to snore but if it hasn't I think my family might add some credence to the idea. My Grandpa was a prolific snorer; I can remember seeing him many times napping in his recliner, still wearing his glasses, his mouth agape and the sound of the roaring snore that came from it. Likewise, my Mom is known to saw logs while she sleeps and I do as well.

My wife has dealt with my snoring to this point but apparently while I was sick it was so bad that she couldn't sleep in the same room as me. (She makes her share of noises at night but not always snoring; my wife's known to talk in her sleep, as in she'll carry on full conversations with whoever while she's unconscious. It's woken me up quite a few times as I can't always tell if she's trying to legitimately get my attention.) Similarly, there were nights in that stretch where she'd wake me up and I would go sleep in our guest bedroom. All I can say is I guess it's good that we have that room, otherwise one or the other of us would've wound up on the couch or in the bathtub (yes, believe it or not I've slept in a bathtub before). As a result it's been a frustrating week as neither of us have gotten what we should be getting in terms of rest. I'm finally coming around from the infection, though, so with any luck we'll be back to where we were before in relatively short order.

The Adoption Process - Where Do We Stand?

Plenty of friends and co-workers ask me for updates on a regular basis about how things are going with our adoption proceedings, and I appreciate their concerned interest in these matters. The answer to those questions here lately has been to say that we're playing the waiting game.

Jill & I had our home study conducted a few weeks back. It was handled by an investigator contracted through the Department of Social Services who came to our home; it was an invasive conversation but on a cordial level, which was exactly what I expected it would be. The kind of questions you get asked during the interview deal with everything from your childhood to your personal career goals, but the interviewer isn't just listening to your responses - they're watching your reactions and body language at the same time. It's a very interesting process, if you're into psychoanalysis at all. (Trust me when I say it's more fun to be the one doing the analysis than the one being analyzed.) The session lasted in the area of 3 hours and by the end of it my wife & I were both relieved to be done with what was the last piece of the paperwork/pre-approval end of becoming adoptive parents.

The investigator went outside of protocol in telling us that she was going to approve us to adopt up to 3 children. Normally when this interview is done you have to wait to receive an official letter back from DSS before you'll know whether or not your home study went well. I gather that that can take quite some time in certain instances seeing as how the investigator has (believe it or not) several months from the point of time they've made contact to when their report must be turned in.

Our investigator said that she usually submits reports no later than 10 days after the interview. I don't know if she was blowing smoke up our rear ends or not but we've not received any notification of our home study having been accepted and our caseworker has been on vacation here lately, meaning our requests for status updates haven't gotten a response.

All that said, we are where we are. "Hurry up and wait" couldn't be a more appropriate sentiment at this point. We're confident, regardless, because we knew going in that this is a process that can take some time. Now we have to be patient - we've done all we can to prove that we want this to happen, it's up to other people to allow it to happen.

My First Gamecock Baseball Games of the 2014 Season

I have the good fortune of knowing and working with a family who has access to tickets for University of South Carolina Gamecock baseball games, and they're generous enough to offer them to me on occasion. My wife & I went to quite a few games last season and we hope to make it to a few this year as well. I have a lead on my wife at this point in time seeing as how I took in a double-header last weekend while she did her duty to the ladies of Girl Scout Troop 471 by assisting them in selling cookies at a booth set up in front of one of our local grocery stores.

For this pair of games, the Yardcocks (as we affectionately call our baseball team) took on the Bears of Brown University. Brown is an Ivy League school out of Providence, Rhode Island. They're not an untalented team but they're not exactly up to the level of play USC encounters from some of our in-state and regional schools, and certainly not what we have to contend with in the South Eastern Conference or other Division 1 schools from around the country. That's my nice way of leading into saying that the Gamecocks defeated Brown handily in the two games I saw as well as the third game of the series which was held the following day, but what's more is the fact that Carolina didn't allow a single run to score during the trilogy. For that matter, USC has held its opponent to zero runs in 9 of the 16 games they've played thus far, and the Gamecocks are a perfect 16-0 on the 2014 season as of this writing.

What else can you say to that other than HOW 'BOUT THOSE GAMECOCKS?

Impressions on the Opening of Columbia's Destination XL

For as long as I can remember, I've been getting my clothing from a chain called Casual Male that specializes in big & tall styles for men. What can I say, I've always been big and tall? It's been a long time since I've had the luxury of being able to walk into a Walmart or any other store and grab something off a rack, unfortunately.

Casual Male has gone through a number of permutations over the years as it was originally called Casual Male Big & Tall. Later on it transitioned to being known as Casual Male XL as the company seemed to want to modernize its image; suddenly there was Shoes XL and Living XL, two offshoots that existed mostly as catalog operations that were specialized in what they offered (footwear & gadgetry, respectively). At some point all the various XLs were collected under one banner, that being Destination XL, and over a period of time the Casual Male XL stores were converted to Destination XL.

This conversion has been good in that the variety of clothing styles and labels offered has grown substantially, but it's had more than a few drawbacks as well. It's been bad in that the number of stores in this region has dwindled to merely a handful. To my knowledge, there are only two XL stores in the entire state of South Carolina, those being in Columbia and Charleston (there may be one in the upstate but if there is I've never shopped there). To make matters worse, when the local Casual Male XL became Destination XL it seemed as though all the existing staff were let go. The new folks who've been installed are decidedly more "uppity" in their presence and tactics, which is a far cry from how laid back the previous staff had been. The icing on the cake is that they now have personal stylists.

I mentioned the additions to the stock in terms of more styles and well-known labels, but what I didn't mention were the price points of these wares. The XL stores have never been cheap, however the kind of prices they're charging now are mildly insane - $50 for a shirt, $80 for a pair of pants, and what have you. Suffice to say that there's more than one reason why I don't go shopping for clothes all that frequently.

It's not that I'm resistant to change, rather it's that the DXL store hasn't grown on me yet. I'm very unaccustomed to walking into a store that looks flashy and modern like an Abercrombie or Aeropostale. I'm used to my store being dark and uninviting, the staff being the same people I've shopped with for 10 years, and the experience being comfortable instead of pushy. Most of all, I don't think I have it in me to admit that I've ever been associated with a personal stylist. That's one of those things where you have to turn in your man-card immediately and forfeit the right to all your beer & chicken wings.

I'm going to keep shopping there, though, mainly because I don't have a choice. It's either go there or use catalogs and I dislike catalogs seeing as how I prefer to try on clothes before I buy them.

Upcoming Events 

Free promotion for the following - you're welcome!

On March 30, WrestleForce returns to The Hangar in Cayce, SC for UNLEASHED. I attended their February event and was pleased with it overall. The big draw this month is that this will more than likely be Steven "The Fever" Walters final appearance in WF for the foreseeable future as he has gone and gotten himself a developmental contract with World Wrestling Entertainment. (Great to hear of a local talent getting to live out their dream!) Seeing as how he and his tag team partner in The Love/Hate Machine "The Southern Savior" John Skyler are the current WF tag team champions, I would expect something to go down leading to them losing the titles but who knows.

If you're not in the know when it comes to independent professional wrestling, you probably have no idea what Omega Championship Wrestling is OR what it was. Omega is actually an acronym for "Organization for Modern Extreme Grappling Arts", and it's the company that was founded by Matt & Jeff Hardy way back when they were both still in their teens. Omega was the genesis of their careers as well as those of talent like Shane "Hurricane" Helms, Shannon Moore, Christian York, Caprice Coleman, Joey Matthews, and others. I don't know that Omega ever truly died but it has certainly made a comeback as Shane Helms has resurrected the company and begun holding events regularly. CHAOS IN CAMERON will be happening on April 26 and I'll be there - the allure of seeing the Hardy Boyz take on the Briscoe Brothers (best known for their work in Ring of Honor) in what may be a once in forever match is too much for me to pass up.

Please Stop Enabling Your Children

This is the time of year where high school and college students are celebrating their victory over the confines of academia through various graduation ceremonies and what have you. Those are great moments in the life of a young person as they signify years of dedication finally paying off in obtaining a diploma or degree. Even though it's been better than a decade since I last walked that aisle as a graduate, I can still remember the feeling of excitement knowing that I had accomplished something awesome brought to me. I earned an honors diploma from Buford High School and I graduated cum laude from Francis Marion University. During commencement, I knew I'd worked hard and I'd earned what I was about to receive. I think that's an important sensation that people in their late teens and early twenties need to experience, especially in today's economy when finding a good job isn't exactly easy. It's proof that a reward comes from sacrifice and dedication, not from merely showing up or doing only what's required to get by.

I've said all that to say this. I'm a little sick of seeing so much hubbub about kids "graduating" from kindergarten, preschool, or even middle school for that matter. (Please, dear readers, enhance your calm and refrain from hurling flaming arrows at my house until the end of the blog. I'm not saying I'm going to back off of my opinion by then, I just want you to read the whole thing because it helps my site statistics.) Why do I feel this way? To be perfectly honest, it's because of the fact that I feel like parents are raising a generation of children who are going to feel entitled to everything and who exist under the notion that everything they do, no matter how insignificant, is a major achievement.

This isn't a new state of mind I've recently adopted, rather it's become exacerbated by recent events. I recall going to a tee-ball game several years ago where no one kept score, everyone got to run the bases, and everyone went home feeling like they were a winner. I thought I'd suffered some sort of psychotic episode and my mind had trapped me in whatever Godforsaken realm it is where Barney the Dinosaur and the Teletubbies exist.

While watching the game, I thought back to when I was a child playing tee-ball for P&M Trucking. I remember the team name well because our uniforms were a distinctive combination of green jerseys and yellow trucker hats - if you didn't know any better you'd have thought we were sponsored by John Deere. I didn't get to play that much, you see, because I was exceptionally good at hitting the tee but not so much the ball. Probably the highlight of my tee-ball career was an attempted base slide - notice I use the word "attempted". Lets just say it was a bad idea, well-intentioned as it were. For one I'd never so much as even practiced such a maneuver before not to mention the fact that we didn't wear full pants, rather these white short-shorts, meaning my posterior was more than a bit sore in the days following that game. We wore the same thing when I played recreational league basketball. Seeing as I was a husky lad they made me look like I was wearing hot pants instead of athletic gear, which I'm sure was quite the sight.

I know we kept score and I know we played as close to a legitimate game of baseball as we could without involving pitching, obviously. We felt good when we won and we felt bad when we lost - the same was true when I played basketball. (True story, I played for a rec league basketball team that lost every single game - our coach even quit on us during the season. What a role model that guy was!) We always got a cold drink and a Little Debbie cake afterwards regardless of how we performed but the point of these past two paragraphs is that we weren't coddled into thinking we had done something remarkable when we hadn't. Quite frankly, I know I'm better off for it.

Why? Having worked to earn something - whether it be a win in a tee-ball game, an honors diploma, a car, or a house - makes you appreciate its value that much more. It's fine to encourage people with gifts or an occasional freebie but the danger there is that after a while it becomes a part of their character to expect things to be given to them. They've so rarely had to exert any effort towards a goal (for that matter they may not even know what the concept of a goal is) that doing so feels unnatural, and then they complain about not getting their way instead of striving to overcome.

It's the same reason why there are signs at national parks stating "DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS"; behavioral science shows us that over time they'll become dependent on a handout and forget their natural capacity to forage for themselves. That's what's going to happen to our society if we keep letting kids think everyone is a winner when it comes to tee-ball, we'll wind up with a culture that doesn't know what to do when life requires them to take action. They'll all be standing around crying, wanting to know why the team mom isn't there to give them a soda and a treat.

I don't mean to say that you, as a parent, shouldn't cheer on your child in everything that they do. (I mention this because, in case you weren't aware, I'm not a parent. My wife & I are trying as we both would love to start a family but we haven't been blessed as of yet with our own little bundle of joy.) Very much the opposite, as a matter of fact. I think parents should do their best to encourage their children towards success. In my mind, that means showing them the value of hard work while giving them the tools to develop character traits like perseverance and determination. I don't think you can do that by instilling in them at a young age the perception that they'll be fine just by virtue of showing up.

I don't believe I've ever told anyone this but one of my biggest inspirations in life after graduating from college was something that Dr. Luther F. Carter, President of Francis Marion University, said to me as he handed me my degree, "You made it this far now lets see what you can do with it." If I had never been pushed to work hard by my parents, I would never have bothered to take honors or advanced placement classes in high school. If I had never taken those classes in high school, I wouldn't have gotten the scholarships that allowed me to go to college without paying a dime for tuition. If I hadn't done my best to get through college, I wouldn't have graduated with honors. If I didn't do any of that, I wouldn't be the director of information technology for an entire county in the state of South Carolina. Not too bad of a record for someone who isn't even 33 years old yet.

In wrapping up this rant, I hope none of this someday comes back to bite me in the rear. It's easy for me to say all these things but the truth of the matter is that parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual. Be that as it may, all of us need to remember that kids deserve to be kids and that we, either as parents or potential parents, should keep in mind that just because we want our children to strive for success whatever that "success" is may be totally different in their eyes than it is ours. Don't push them towards being an accountant if they love working with animals, or try to convince them that engineering is the way to go when they'd sooner be painting. Teach them to be the best that they can be at whatever it is they are best at. That way they might grow to be not just content with their life but successful and happy.

Narrow Seats are Narrow

My wife and I have had the opportunity to attend several events recently at Colonial Life Arena and Carolina Stadium, two major sports venues in Columbia, SC, the latter being home to the back-to-back National Champion University of South Carolina baseball team (I threw that last bit in there just because). They are marvelous facilities that I'm glad we have access to as they're truly modern day pantheons equipped with everything from WiFi to a wine list. Be that as it may, there's one aspect to them that I wish was different, and it has to do with basic comfort - specifically the comfort of one's posterior as impacted by the seats in these arenas and others like them.

I've never tried to hide the fact that I'm a bigger guy - not that I could hide it if I wanted to. I'm in the area of 6'2"-6'3" and, to make a football analogy, my body type would be best described as that of an offensive lineman (albeit one who doesn't go to the gym and doesn't diet all that properly). I shop in the big & tall section. I have trouble finding shoes that fit because I wear a size 14 extra-wide and most manufacturers/retailers seem to think mens feet stop growing around size 12 (seriously, next time you're in a Rack Room Shoes or a similar store, count the number of shoes you see in size 14 or above). That said, I admit that when it comes to the physical dimensions of human beings I'm definitely an exception instead of the norm - always have been, always will be. For while I could lose weight, there's no hope of my becoming much less wide than I am right now short of having my pelvis, ribcage and internal organ placement reconfigured.

That's not an elective surgery I'll be signing up for any time soon.

There's a well-known quote attributed to famed professional wrestling commentator/talent coordinator Jim Ross that goes something like "I don't care who wins or who loses, so long as there's an ass every 18 inches I'm happy", his point being to state that the measure of success in his industry is about ticket sales more so than anything else. I'm not sure if Ross was aware of it or not when he made that comment, but he's actually quite accurate when it comes to depicting the space between rear-ends at most coliseums.

I've done extensive research on the subject (read, I Google'd "average stadium seat width") and based on my results (which are highly scientific in nature, needless to say) the typical seat width you'll find in any given arena is between 17"-20". To get an idea of what that looks like, take two pieces of ordinary copier paper and place them side-by-side. What you've got is more or less the same width and depth (14" is the norm in terms of depth) of most stadium seating. By contrast, the seat on my recliner is 23" wide and almost as deep.

The width and depth restrictions are bad but the kicker when it comes to arena seating is the "arm rests". I use quotation marks because while they are capable of serving as legitimate arm rests their true function is that of immovable barriers of butt containment and isolation. They ensure that every posterior has a more or less equal amount of inhabitable real estate for use over the course of an event. In the case of someone like myself, what they actually serve as is a vice grip - except unlike an actual vice there's no hope of adjustment, just the same level of near torturous restriction.

Does that come off as something that would be comfortable to sit in for a couple hours? Now imagine it's made from a hard material like plastic, wood or metal. To take it even further, imagine you're wedged in between two guys like me the whole time. Still want to pay your hard-earned money to go to that next big concert or sporting event?

[SIDE NOTE: I mention paying for tickets to events - I think that's a factor I can add into this discussion as it is something that definitely serves to exacerbate the issue of pain in the buns. I brought up Colonial Life Arena earlier in this entry; that building will soon serve as host to such artists as Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, and Justin Bieber. The face value for tickets to those concerts will set you back $63.50, $86.50, and $95, respectively. (That's not including the cost of other expenses that come along with going to an event such as parking, which runs between $10-$20.) I will admit to having paid some high ticket prices in the past (I believe I paid around $90 to see Metallica almost a decade ago - we were in the front row and I got guitar picks from James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett so it was worth it for me), but the cost of attendance has become extremely exorbitant these days, so much so that fans have started to really question whether or not it's worth it. To me, that's what's happening to NASCAR. The TV coverage is so good (even though the racing itself isn't always that exciting) and the events so expensive that people seem to have realized it's just as well that they stay home.]

As I said earlier, I'm a big guy. For the sake of this blog entry, I measured the breadth of my chest from shoulder to shoulder and it was in the area of 27". (I haven't had cause to buy a sport coat or be fitted for a similar garment in roughly 3 years, so forgive me for referencing what is certainly an accurate albeit less than precise measurement.) My hips aren't that much narrower than my shoulders. How do you put something that's 27" wide into a seat that's 17" wide? You can take my word that it's not an easy task as different seats require different derriere depositing methods. With some stadium seats brute force works best; gravity will only drag things down so far, you see. These are generally the seats that I loathe the most as they're usually the ones that leave my tush quite sore, sometimes to the point of leaving bruises. (I've had bruising on my knees from spending hours shoved into a row of seats as well - the curvature of the seat backs combined with the narrow gap between rows only adds to my already high level of discomfort.) Other seats I've found can best be accessed by first sitting down on the edge of the seat then sliding back into the bucket. It takes some trial and error but fortunately I've yet to find a seat that I absolutely cannot get into.

[SIDE NOTE #2: I take that last statement back - I have found seats I can't get into, but not stadium seats.

When my wife & I went to the Magic Kingdom last November I was quite bummed that my ability to ride a lot of the attractions in those theme parks was limited. Oddly enough, the issue wasn't seat width or depth rather it was the length of my legs that inhibited the restraints from being fully engaged. The first time this happened to me was on Space Mountain; I'd gotten into the car and when the lap bar dropped it hit my knees. I tried to get my legs into a position that would allow me to ride but that effort was to no avail.

I'm assuming this has become a recurring problem for ride operators to have to deal with. We noticed at Universal Studios that there are test seats outside many of the attractions so that patrons can see if they'll be able to fit into the cars prior to boarding. I'm sure there's a joke to be made here about this being unnecessary except for the fact that people nowadays are fatter than ever. Even so, if this is a known trend amongst the masses (pun intended) then why not just make the cars bigger?]

The scenario I painted in a previous paragraph of a person being unwittingly wedged in between two men similar to myself is one that my poor wife has had to endure a number of times. She's a trooper, though, and finds ways to get through those occasions, sometimes with a bit of ingenuity. (Typically I'll throw an arm around her as this takes away a bit of my width and gives us both more comfort, even though it usually winds up with me having to watch where my hand winds up - some people don't like it when a dude they've never met touches them on the shoulder or knee oddly enough.) She and a fellow female attendee to a Ring of Honor pro wrestling card in Charlotte, NC we went to devised a method for improving the comfort level for quite a few people at said event. The show was held in a building that wasn't much more than a warehouse with folding chairs set up for seating. For the sake of security, wrestling fans being the lively sort that we are, the chairs had all been zip-tied together. The other female fan realized that she could remedy the situation by snipping the zip-ties with a pair of fingernail clippers; suddenly we went from being packed into our row like sardines in a can to sitting sprawled out and as comfortable as could be.

[SIDE NOTE #3: While writing of the story about modifying ROH's seating I was reminded of another situation that happened at a different ROH event, one that I hesitate to share because of the individual it involves but that I'm going to put out there anyway.

ROH made use of the same zip-tied chairs for this event, and we'd planned accordingly by bringing fingernail clippers. We adjusted the seats to give ourselves more room but there was one fan whose physical condition necessitated having even more room than I. I don't want it to sound like I'm making fun of him but he was morbidly obese, probably 500 lbs. if not more. He had separated his chair and moved it to a position that put him almost in line with us, which also meant that he gave himself a free upgrade seeing as how he went from having a seat in the general admission section to one that was worth significantly more than those. My wife wasn't thrilled with his presence for another reason; he had what sounded like a couple dollars worth of quarters in his pocket and jingled them incessantly, and this was getting on her nerves.

I haven't pointed it out until now but the folding chairs ROH used were the kind that have metal legs and plastic panels. They tend to feel flimsy to me, and now you know where I'm going with this story...

Towards the end of the show, this guy's chair gave up its will to live and collapsed under his weight. He hit the floor to a raucous calamity, his stash of quarters went rolling away in mass exodus, and he laid there on the ground with an expression on his face as if he were in shock. He eventually got up after being assisted by myself and a few others, gathered his quarters, fetched himself another chair, and returned to the same spot he'd been occupying previously as if nothing had ever happened.]

Unfortunately, you'd need a much more heavy duty piece of equipment than a pair of fingernail clippers to make the kind of arena seating we've been encountering more comfortable, and something even more powerful than a backhoe to get those who are in the business of building, operating and maintaining these facilities to even consider using seats wider than they are now. The point of any business is to make money, after all - in their case the more seats in a venue, the more money there is to be made from putting butts into them. Even butts like mine. So it is that the decision becomes either avoiding events because of issues like these or going to them regardless for the love of the thing.

I guess dealing with a couple sore cheeks isn't so bad every now and then.