Event Report: World Wrestling Entertainment presents WWE Live (12-5-2014)

My wife and I were able to have a night out on the town this past Friday night, which is something that's a very valuable commodity now that the focus of most of our free time is taking care of the Duke. He's a bit needy since he is a newborn and all, but we're not holding that against him - it's not his fault he can't prepare his own supper or wipe his rear end yet, obviously.

This particular night was a special occasion seeing as how World Wrestling Entertainment was in Columbia, South Carolina for a live event at the Colonial Life Arena. If you didn't know, live events are also referred to as house shows because they are non-televised. Companies like WWE use them for a number of purposes. For one, they're quick cash generators as they typically take advantage of whatever the going storylines are on TV to pique the interest of fans in a local market. In addition, they're an opportunity for a promotion to test the waters in terms of how an audience reacts to a match, a new gimmick for a performer, or any number of things which may or may not wind up appearing in programming later on.

In this instance it looked as though a majority of what was going on had to do with the upcoming Tables, Ladders and Chairs pay-per-view that is set to take place later this month. That event will be headlined by a tables match featuring John Cena and Seth Rollins - who would also be headlining the event we saw in Columbia.

Getting in and around the parking lots at CLA has always been somewhat tricky seeing as how the building is in the middle of downtown Columbia, is adjacent to several major streets, sits on the doorstep of the University of South Carolina's Greek village, and there's usually no assistance from local law enforcement in terms of directing traffic. That last bit is an issue thanks to the fact that there are no traffic lights to control the flow of cars, rather a couple 4-way stops that leave it to motorists to negotiate matters amongst themselves.

We got to the arena around 6:30 PM by which time a majority of the front-most parking lot was filled. Cost for parking that night was $5 - that's not too bad seeing as how game day parking for events at Williams Brice Stadium will set you back $20 or more, depending on how close you want to be to the venue.

Our tickets were being held at will call even though I had purchased them as part of a pre-sale promotion. Why? Allow me to elaborate.

Face value of the tickets I chose was $25. Those seats were a good middle ground option since they were not as expensive as the $90 floor seats but with a better view than the $15 seats. (WWE offers what is called the WWE VIP Experience for certain of their events; this is a package that includes front row seating where you are given the chair you sat in that evening, a backstage meet and greet with some of the Superstars, and a few other perks. These packages start around $300 and go up from there. Yes, there were a handful of VIP seats sold at this event!) There was a section of limited view seats available for this event, which struck me as odd seeing as how there were no limitations on the view; "limited view" usually refers to seating situated in such a way that it can be blocked by staging used during TV tapings. As I mentioned earlier, this was a non-televised event.

After you add in CLA's fees ($9 per ticket for this show; I've referred to convenience/facility fees previously as the "take a dump" fee because I can only assume they want you to pay for the fact that you had to go to the bathroom while you were there), our total was $68. Wait, we're not done yet because that amount doesn't count the fee you incur depending on the ticketing delivery option you select: Mail delivery, print at home, or will call. I don't remember how much the other two were but at $3.50 will call was the cheapest of the three. (What that $3.50 covers I can only imagine. I gather these tickets are printed on parchment salvaged from an ancient Egyptian tomb and printed using the blood of pandas.) If you add in the cost of parking and ticketing delivery split between our two tickets, a $25 ticket in reality costs $38.25.

And folks in the pro wrestling business wonder why live event attendance is down!

I have to commend the people who work behind the scenes to operate and maintain CLA. It is a beautiful arena that is always pristine in appearance and the staff working there are generally quite cordial. I can't say as I've ever had a bad experience there.

Our seats were in one of the lower levels several rows off the floor. When it comes to events like this I've learned that the only good floor seats are in the front row. If you're sitting further back from that you're going to spend the majority of the time dodging the backs of other people's heads instead of watching the show. Given how much those seats cost, it's simply not worth it. For this reason unless I can get front row I'm perfectly fine taking a seat in the bleachers. Quite frankly I don't know that I would buy front row these days even if the opportunity presented itself seeing as how in my opinion the product doesn't warrant the cost.

A number of vignettes and advertisements were shown on the jumbo-trons around the arena before bell time, and these included a message from Dolph Ziggler who spoke about his Intercontinental championship match against Luke Harper that would be coming up later on in the evening. I can only guess as to what attendance might have been but I will note that there were plenty of good seats available. (The house looked about the same as what we've seen the last few times we've been to WWE live events in Columbia.) The show began promptly at 7:30 PM and our ring announcer for the evening was none other than Brandi Rhodes who is the wife of Cody Rhodes.

Here's a rundown of the card along with my thoughts on each match.

#1) Ryback defeated Curtis Axel

Ryback has had his name in the press a lot here lately thanks to having been the subject of some of CM Punk's comments made during an interview on Colt Cabana's Art of Wrestling podcast wherein Punk stated that Ryback was responsible for injuring him on a number of occasions. If Punk's statements are true, it would appear as though Ryback's previous gimmick of "The Corn-fed Meathead" Skip Sheffield wasn't that far off from reality.

Speaking of Ryback, he definitely benefited from being the first babyface (hero/good guy) to appear on the card as the crowd reaction he received was quite audible. It appeared to be coming from the same section of the audience that later on in the evening would be chanting "LET'S GO CENA!"

This seemed like an odd bit of booking to me because it was only a short while ago that Curtis Axel and Ryback were working as a tag team called RybAxel (appropriately enough). To my knowledge there was never a storyline presented as to why they'd be broken up, but then again the success of many modern WWE storylines is dependent upon the fact that their writers assume the fans suffer from some form of memory loss. (Hence the reason why Big Show has gone through something along the lines of 20 character turns - as in transitioning from hero to villain - during his run with WWE.) Nevertheless, you can tell who was Marty and who was Shawn out of their pairing based on the fact that Ryback was in the main event of Survivor Series and Axel has been relegated to appearances on Main Event (if you don't get the Marty/Shawn reference, I'm sorry but you've been reading this entry for far too long to be that far out of touch with this kind of material).

#2) Fandango (with Rosa Mendes) defeated Sin Cara

Fandango was announced as being "the new and improved Fandango". I bother with pointing that out because the wrestler now known as Fandango has been involved with WWE since 2006 (not the whole time as Fandango; he's had 3 or 4 other gimmicks) at which point he began working with Deep South Wrestling, an independent promotion that served as a developmental territory for WWE which no longer exists. He has worked there, Florida Championship Wrestling, NXT, and finally as part of the main WWE roster. For someone as talented as he apparently is to have had such a drawn out career with no real highlights to speak of is baffling to me.

Sin Cara came to the ring sporting a Lucha Dragons t-shirt, which is the name of the tag team he's involved with in NXT. As of this writing he and his partner, Kalisto, are the WWE NXT Tag Team Champions.

#3) Emma, Alicia Fox & Charlotte defeated Paige & The Bella Twins

There was a social media push before the show began towards getting the fans in attendance to use a Twitter hashtag to vote on whether they wanted to see a 6-Divas tag team match or if they wanted to see a 1-on-1 Divas match. In terms of offering up options to fans of pro wrestling, that's like asking a 6 year old if they want a chocolate-dipped ice cream cone or some nice blanched asparagus.

The big deal here was that Charlotte was involved. She's the current WWE NXT Women's Champion and, perhaps of more interest to most fans, the daughter of "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. She was involved for the majority of the match and made a good showing for herself. The Flair references are a little thick with her presentation at the moment seeing as how she had "WOOO!"-ed about a dozen times before the match even started.

After the match was over, Nikki and Brie (the Bella Twins) began to argue with one another. The two of them are supposed to be on the same page according to what's going on within TV storylines, however they appeared to have split on less than amicable terms this night as Brie shoved Nikki and walked off on her own. That could be foreshadowing something to come down the line but it could also be an example of how house shows exist in a vacuum, meaning none of these events matter in the grand scheme of things because they aren't on TV and therefore aren't part of the running narrative.

#4) Intercontinental Championship Match - Dolph Ziggler defeated Luke Harper by disqualification

Going into the show I had this contest in mind as being a contender for match of the night. In reality it felt kind of flat, and that bugs me for a number of reasons. Knowing what these two are capable of and seeing the match they had, it surprised me that it was somewhat dull in its pacing. I knew Ziggler had zero chance of winning the title because titles never change hands at live events (that's not entirely true; they do change hands at live events but only about as frequently as we elect Presidents). The fact that the guts of the match didn't feature the sort of athleticism these two show off during episodes of RAW or Smackdown was disappointing but the decision to have the match end as the result of Harper pushing Ziggler into the referee was somewhat confusing (at first I thought the ref had disqualified Ziggler for making contact with him) and mostly unsatisfying.

- Intermission -

#5) R-Truth defeated Cesaro

As I mentioned on my Twitter feed, this is why CM Punk quit.

Here's another crazy booking decision which doesn't make any sense to me. Why would a guy like R-Truth, who hasn't been on any of the main WWE programming for a while now, get a win over Cesaro? I can only assume Cesaro is in someone's doghouse. If this is all the Swiss Superman will ever get to be on the main roster, then by all means send him back to NXT where he can be appreciated for having phenomenal matches with talent like Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Finn Balor, and Hideo Itami.

#6) A New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E Langston with Xavier Woods) defeated WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz & Damien Mizdow in a non-title bout

This was my favorite match of the night because out of the 7 contests on the card it was the one that had the most energy and life to it. The Miz can get heat just by picking up a microphone, Damien Mizdow is one of the best characters in WWE right now, and I sincerely hope that A New Day goes far because those guys are working their tails off in that gimmick.

#7) John Cena defeated Seth Rollins in a street fight

The last event my wife and I attended together before this one was a WWE Live show in November of 2013 which was also held at CLA. The main event that night was a street fight between the Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper & Eric Rowan) and the team of CM Punk & Daniel Bryan. Fast forward to the present where the Wyatt Family doesn't exist, Daniel Bryan may or may not ever wrestle again, and CM Punk is gone from WWE completely. My how things change over the course of a year!

I have to give a hand to Cena and Rollins because this match was definitely more in line with what one would expect when you hear of a match being held under street fight rules than others I've seen. (Of course you could just as well interchange street fight, extreme rules, no disqualifications, and a few other labels that get added to matches where anything goes. Why WWE uses one instead of another is anyone's guess. Perhaps WWE conducted a study and determined that "street fight" was more effective in terms of marketing.) They brawled up and down the aisle, made use of a number of weapons, and Rollins had so much heat on him that he even managed to make a young female fan at ringside burst into tears. That's the kind of reaction you rarely see anymore in pro wrestling and it goes to show that no matter how many times John Cena may face insurmountable odds (and triumphantly overcome them) his loyal fans are there with him 100% of the time.

Rollins went through two tables during the match, once on a reversal out of an Irish whip into one of the corners and a second time via an Attitude Adjuster from Cena off the top rope. I believe Cena and Rollins had this same match at least once more during the loop of live events this past weekend, so that means Rollins likely went through 4 or more tables in less than 3 days time. All I can say to that is hopefully he has a good chiropractor.

All things considered this was a fun night out but the matches overall left both of us feeling like there was something missing. I don't know if that something is star power, emotional involvement, or what but this was a fairly vanilla piece of work. Looking back, I think it's interesting that out of 7 matches the heel (villain) only won once, that being Fandango.

Of course we couldn't go to something like this without shooting an episode of Rasslin' with Redbeard! I have to give my wife major kudos seeing as how she served as camera operator for more than a few shots that became a part of this episode. She humors me and my silly endeavors, which is just one reason why I love her.

Narrow Seats are Narrow

My wife and I have had the opportunity to attend several events recently at Colonial Life Arena and Carolina Stadium, two major sports venues in Columbia, SC, the latter being home to the back-to-back National Champion University of South Carolina baseball team (I threw that last bit in there just because). They are marvelous facilities that I'm glad we have access to as they're truly modern day pantheons equipped with everything from WiFi to a wine list. Be that as it may, there's one aspect to them that I wish was different, and it has to do with basic comfort - specifically the comfort of one's posterior as impacted by the seats in these arenas and others like them.

I've never tried to hide the fact that I'm a bigger guy - not that I could hide it if I wanted to. I'm in the area of 6'2"-6'3" and, to make a football analogy, my body type would be best described as that of an offensive lineman (albeit one who doesn't go to the gym and doesn't diet all that properly). I shop in the big & tall section. I have trouble finding shoes that fit because I wear a size 14 extra-wide and most manufacturers/retailers seem to think mens feet stop growing around size 12 (seriously, next time you're in a Rack Room Shoes or a similar store, count the number of shoes you see in size 14 or above). That said, I admit that when it comes to the physical dimensions of human beings I'm definitely an exception instead of the norm - always have been, always will be. For while I could lose weight, there's no hope of my becoming much less wide than I am right now short of having my pelvis, ribcage and internal organ placement reconfigured.

That's not an elective surgery I'll be signing up for any time soon.

There's a well-known quote attributed to famed professional wrestling commentator/talent coordinator Jim Ross that goes something like "I don't care who wins or who loses, so long as there's an ass every 18 inches I'm happy", his point being to state that the measure of success in his industry is about ticket sales more so than anything else. I'm not sure if Ross was aware of it or not when he made that comment, but he's actually quite accurate when it comes to depicting the space between rear-ends at most coliseums.

I've done extensive research on the subject (read, I Google'd "average stadium seat width") and based on my results (which are highly scientific in nature, needless to say) the typical seat width you'll find in any given arena is between 17"-20". To get an idea of what that looks like, take two pieces of ordinary copier paper and place them side-by-side. What you've got is more or less the same width and depth (14" is the norm in terms of depth) of most stadium seating. By contrast, the seat on my recliner is 23" wide and almost as deep.

The width and depth restrictions are bad but the kicker when it comes to arena seating is the "arm rests". I use quotation marks because while they are capable of serving as legitimate arm rests their true function is that of immovable barriers of butt containment and isolation. They ensure that every posterior has a more or less equal amount of inhabitable real estate for use over the course of an event. In the case of someone like myself, what they actually serve as is a vice grip - except unlike an actual vice there's no hope of adjustment, just the same level of near torturous restriction.

Does that come off as something that would be comfortable to sit in for a couple hours? Now imagine it's made from a hard material like plastic, wood or metal. To take it even further, imagine you're wedged in between two guys like me the whole time. Still want to pay your hard-earned money to go to that next big concert or sporting event?

[SIDE NOTE: I mention paying for tickets to events - I think that's a factor I can add into this discussion as it is something that definitely serves to exacerbate the issue of pain in the buns. I brought up Colonial Life Arena earlier in this entry; that building will soon serve as host to such artists as Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, and Justin Bieber. The face value for tickets to those concerts will set you back $63.50, $86.50, and $95, respectively. (That's not including the cost of other expenses that come along with going to an event such as parking, which runs between $10-$20.) I will admit to having paid some high ticket prices in the past (I believe I paid around $90 to see Metallica almost a decade ago - we were in the front row and I got guitar picks from James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett so it was worth it for me), but the cost of attendance has become extremely exorbitant these days, so much so that fans have started to really question whether or not it's worth it. To me, that's what's happening to NASCAR. The TV coverage is so good (even though the racing itself isn't always that exciting) and the events so expensive that people seem to have realized it's just as well that they stay home.]

As I said earlier, I'm a big guy. For the sake of this blog entry, I measured the breadth of my chest from shoulder to shoulder and it was in the area of 27". (I haven't had cause to buy a sport coat or be fitted for a similar garment in roughly 3 years, so forgive me for referencing what is certainly an accurate albeit less than precise measurement.) My hips aren't that much narrower than my shoulders. How do you put something that's 27" wide into a seat that's 17" wide? You can take my word that it's not an easy task as different seats require different derriere depositing methods. With some stadium seats brute force works best; gravity will only drag things down so far, you see. These are generally the seats that I loathe the most as they're usually the ones that leave my tush quite sore, sometimes to the point of leaving bruises. (I've had bruising on my knees from spending hours shoved into a row of seats as well - the curvature of the seat backs combined with the narrow gap between rows only adds to my already high level of discomfort.) Other seats I've found can best be accessed by first sitting down on the edge of the seat then sliding back into the bucket. It takes some trial and error but fortunately I've yet to find a seat that I absolutely cannot get into.

[SIDE NOTE #2: I take that last statement back - I have found seats I can't get into, but not stadium seats.

When my wife & I went to the Magic Kingdom last November I was quite bummed that my ability to ride a lot of the attractions in those theme parks was limited. Oddly enough, the issue wasn't seat width or depth rather it was the length of my legs that inhibited the restraints from being fully engaged. The first time this happened to me was on Space Mountain; I'd gotten into the car and when the lap bar dropped it hit my knees. I tried to get my legs into a position that would allow me to ride but that effort was to no avail.

I'm assuming this has become a recurring problem for ride operators to have to deal with. We noticed at Universal Studios that there are test seats outside many of the attractions so that patrons can see if they'll be able to fit into the cars prior to boarding. I'm sure there's a joke to be made here about this being unnecessary except for the fact that people nowadays are fatter than ever. Even so, if this is a known trend amongst the masses (pun intended) then why not just make the cars bigger?]

The scenario I painted in a previous paragraph of a person being unwittingly wedged in between two men similar to myself is one that my poor wife has had to endure a number of times. She's a trooper, though, and finds ways to get through those occasions, sometimes with a bit of ingenuity. (Typically I'll throw an arm around her as this takes away a bit of my width and gives us both more comfort, even though it usually winds up with me having to watch where my hand winds up - some people don't like it when a dude they've never met touches them on the shoulder or knee oddly enough.) She and a fellow female attendee to a Ring of Honor pro wrestling card in Charlotte, NC we went to devised a method for improving the comfort level for quite a few people at said event. The show was held in a building that wasn't much more than a warehouse with folding chairs set up for seating. For the sake of security, wrestling fans being the lively sort that we are, the chairs had all been zip-tied together. The other female fan realized that she could remedy the situation by snipping the zip-ties with a pair of fingernail clippers; suddenly we went from being packed into our row like sardines in a can to sitting sprawled out and as comfortable as could be.

[SIDE NOTE #3: While writing of the story about modifying ROH's seating I was reminded of another situation that happened at a different ROH event, one that I hesitate to share because of the individual it involves but that I'm going to put out there anyway.

ROH made use of the same zip-tied chairs for this event, and we'd planned accordingly by bringing fingernail clippers. We adjusted the seats to give ourselves more room but there was one fan whose physical condition necessitated having even more room than I. I don't want it to sound like I'm making fun of him but he was morbidly obese, probably 500 lbs. if not more. He had separated his chair and moved it to a position that put him almost in line with us, which also meant that he gave himself a free upgrade seeing as how he went from having a seat in the general admission section to one that was worth significantly more than those. My wife wasn't thrilled with his presence for another reason; he had what sounded like a couple dollars worth of quarters in his pocket and jingled them incessantly, and this was getting on her nerves.

I haven't pointed it out until now but the folding chairs ROH used were the kind that have metal legs and plastic panels. They tend to feel flimsy to me, and now you know where I'm going with this story...

Towards the end of the show, this guy's chair gave up its will to live and collapsed under his weight. He hit the floor to a raucous calamity, his stash of quarters went rolling away in mass exodus, and he laid there on the ground with an expression on his face as if he were in shock. He eventually got up after being assisted by myself and a few others, gathered his quarters, fetched himself another chair, and returned to the same spot he'd been occupying previously as if nothing had ever happened.]

Unfortunately, you'd need a much more heavy duty piece of equipment than a pair of fingernail clippers to make the kind of arena seating we've been encountering more comfortable, and something even more powerful than a backhoe to get those who are in the business of building, operating and maintaining these facilities to even consider using seats wider than they are now. The point of any business is to make money, after all - in their case the more seats in a venue, the more money there is to be made from putting butts into them. Even butts like mine. So it is that the decision becomes either avoiding events because of issues like these or going to them regardless for the love of the thing.

I guess dealing with a couple sore cheeks isn't so bad every now and then.