The Sudden Proliferation of Bad Wrestling Posters - Part 3

I may have developed a personal problem via this series of blogs. (If you'd like to get caught up, you can find part 1 here and part 2 here.) I find myself browsing random wrestling-related Facebook groups and pages specifically looking for horrible posters promoting independent professional wrestling events. Trust me when I say that there are plenty of examples out there. So many in fact that in gathering material for this post I had to create a directory on my hard drive especially for bad wrestling posters, going so far as to then create sub-folders. (Make fun of me for my organizational skills all you want, at least I know where my stuff is.) I'm doing my best to not acknowledge those actions as being detrimental to myself or my well-being; instead I persist in the notion that I'm doing a good deed here by alerting the rest of the world to the fact that not all posters are created equal. The goal here, after all, is to make the world a better place filled with high-quality posters that do justice in representing the men, women, and companies with which they are associated.

Our first poster this go-round is from Premiere Wrestling Xperience. Unfortunately this event wound up being cancelled (from what I saw there were concerns about the venue and its location), but despite that the poster is certainly top notch. I love the color scheme, the graphics are beautiful, and the stock photos of the talent featured make them all look like superstars. Since I started this series, PWX posters have been the precedent for which all others have been compared and so long as they're publishing material as good as this they will continue to be.

Up next is an offering from Champions With Attitude Pro Wrestling, a company that will celebrate a decade of running shows at the event promoted on the poster below. Not many indie wrestling promotions make it past year 2 much less year 10, so the fact that CWA has been around for as long as it has is a real testament to the folks working behind the scenes there.

Champions With Attitude has long been known for production value as their events feature staging, lights, custom entrance videos, and other elements that you just don't see on the independents. Their posters fall into that category as well as they are always vivid pieces that deliver information while being eye-catching. The only problem I have with CWA's posters is that they could be described as repetitive. The layout you see here is what they seem to use month to month, the only variation being the talent featured. Even so, theirs are still better than 98% of what's out there.

If you've been following this blog series and some of the other content I produce (Rasslin' with Redbeard, specifically), you'll know that I frequent WrestleForce shows because I enjoy them very much. I would go so far as to say that if they're not the best promotion in South Carolina they're at least in the top 2. With that in mind, this poster for their "FULL THROTTLE" event coming up in September is by far the best they've produced in quite some time. It would be gosh-darn near perfect if not for two things.

1) Lack of any discernible logo - no, "WrestleForce presents" is not a logo. This goes along with what I've preached before about branding, marketing, and how it's important to establish an identity.

2) The stock photos look great, but I take umbrage with the fact that Cedric Alexander (middle-right) isn't at the forefront of the featured wrestlers. Why? He's the current WrestleForce champion, that's why - John Skyler's talented, don't get me wrong, but if he's not the champ he shouldn't get top billing over the man who is.

Speaking of brand identity issues, I hate to say this but I have no idea what company the following poster is for - all I know is that there was apparently an event called Summer Smackdown 2. It bothers me that a group could put together a poster with graphics like those but then not try and establish themselves with a logo or even a name. That's just odd, quite frankly. There's a guy with a belt (albeit a replica belt): What belt is that? What division does he command? Or did he just wander in with it when photos were being taken and insist he be able to hold it?

Also, there are 16 members of the roster featured on this poster, 17 if you count the fellow with a question mark where his face should be. That's about 10 too many in my opinion as they could have certainly gotten by in making the event appear desirable by way of presenting a core group of attractive athletes.

Anarchy Wrestling in Cornelia, GA has seen more than a few stars come through the confines of their arena over the years. (If you didn't know, Anarchy Wrestling began as NWA Wildside and later transformed into NWA Anarchy before eventually settling as Anarchy Wrestling.) They are one of the most successful promotions in the southeast and yet their posters have consistently gotten on my nerves because of the fact that they are usually overcrowded with talent. Such is the case with this poster for their "HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT" event. For the life of me, I do not see the point in trying to get your entire roster on the poster. Draw people in with 6-8 of your best looking talent, men and women that will sell people on your event and make them want to pay money to be there.

Of course I say that then I have no choice but to refer back to my comment about the success of Anarchy Wrestling over the years. A great poster helps but it's icing on the cake if people already know they're going to have a great time at a show because of past experiences.

Ultimate Combat Wrestling in Union City, TN isn't a promotion that I've ever had the chance to see in person. Be that as it may, judging by this recent poster, I'm going to hazard a guess that they are a company with means and ideas but that may need a little bit of a boost to get them onto the next rung. This poster is of the sort that screams to me "I want to make something more interesting, I just don't have the tools to get what's in my brain onto paper". The stock photos look good. The information fans need is all there. The fonts and letter spacing could be better but I would much sooner look at a poster like this that's clean and minimal in what it's doing than something that's bloated with unnecessary material.

As the final example of a "tweener" for this entry, I present to you a recent poster published by Southern Wrestling Association operating out of Forest City, NC. For starters, I have no idea what's going on in the background. I'm guessing here but I think it's a trio of images from horror films (the top third looks like it could be from Let the Right One In/Let Me In, and the bottom third might be something from The Ring, and the middle could be anything). The title of the event is "HALLOWED GROUNDS", but even so the horror film imagery doesn't make sense - all it does is create a muddy palette. The talent stock photos are mostly suspect and they're much too small to be effective at selling the athletes as being the reason why a fan would want to come to the show. (Again, when making a poster you have to sell the talent; graphics and fonts are great but people aren't paying to see your juiced up copy of Photoshop, they're paying to see wrestling.) This isn't a good poster by any means but it's not awful either. With some edits it could actually be a solid piece of work but as it is it's mostly displeasing to look at and, to me, it doesn't do a good job of making me want to come to the event.

You may have noticed that this image is actually a photo someone took of the poster. For the record, I don't think I've never seen a pure digital copy of an SWA poster. Needless to say, that is rather odd.

Have you ever encountered something that you want to dislike but can't for whatever reason? Pickled ginger comes to mind; it tastes like Pine-Sol smells yet I enjoy it immensely! As another example of that, I give you the following item from Milestone Wrestling's July 2014 event. A poster that has so much patriotism and American pride going on that it's a Ronald Regan reference away from being perfect - perfectly insane, that is. The artist must be a fan of westerns because he stuck John Wayne in there. Was John Wayne a fan of professional wrestling? Could you imagine John Wayne in a wrestling match, especially in one against any of the guys on this poster? He'd probably whip the lot of them all at once then say something like "You boys rassle about as well as a one-legged horse trots...How 'bout you do yourselves a favor and learn from that critter by staying on the ground."

I know I harp a lot about stock photos and the importance of having good ones. I persist that if you're going to be in this line of work you've got to do your best to make the talent look desirable, and you can't do that with stock photos of your roster that look like images printed from a cell phone photo on an inkjet printer then scanned on low resolution settings. Even as a stylistic choice where filters could be used to create certain looks it's still a bad idea to me to do something to make your talent - who are hopefully guys & girls who look like athletes - come off poorly. In that regard, take a look at what South Carolina Wrestling has done for their "STILL STANDING" event. The graphics aren't bad but here again they're there for the purpose of accentuating the talent. Do any of those guys look like wrestlers you would pay money to see perform? If the answer is no, then I'm afraid I've got some bad news (get well soon, Wade)!

The poster below from Southeastern Pro Wrestling in Double Springs, AL is an awful wrestling poster because it, like seemingly so many others I've torn to shreds in this entry, has way more text on it than it does vivid imagery of professional wrestlers. I don't know how many more different ways I'll be able to say the same thing - it makes no sense to me that the folks who design these things don't consider the fact that WRESTLERS are the reason why fans come to pro WRESTLING events. As a fan, I don't really care about "special challenge" matches. And for that matter, I don't think I've ever in my life seen a promotion point out what the "opening match" will be. It's as if to say, "Yes, the show starts at 8 PM but Douche Haven and Chris McCantwrestle are on first so you've got til 8:20!"

Perhaps more offensive than the poster itself is the fact that SEPW is using a replica of the World Wrestling Entertainment intercontinental title as their intercontinental title as well as replicas of the World Championship Wrestling tag team titles as their tag team titles. Nevermind the fact that an indie company having an intercontinental title is silly to begin with. Does no one know the etymology of the word "intercontinental"? Does anyone know what etymology is, for that matter?

I must preface my comments about this next poster with the fact that I did, in fact, attend the event it promotes. It was a fun show with some great talent from the region featured on the card. (It was a bit bizarre in the fact that Gangrel - a vampire - and Dr. Creo - a voodoo practitioner - who work together as the tag team "The Sons of Midnight" were fan favorites. Seriously, children were cheering for a guy with fangs & blood dripping from his mouth and a guy who brings a smoking skull to the ring.) Plus, any reason to go to Charleston, SC is a good reason because Charleston is awesome regardless. Niceties out of the way, Old School Championship Wrestling needs a lot of help when it comes to their posters. I've followed them for years and I can tell you that this is more or less what you get with their promotional materials - weird, solid colors for the background and stock photos that often make the wrestlers look dumpy and somewhat misshapen. OSCW has been around for a long time and they've never gotten better than this. It makes me think the hamster is asleep in the wheel, as in someone cares enough to keep it alive but doesn't care so much that they want it to be more than it is.

Southern Fried Championship Wrestling. Do I really need to say anything else? The guy in the upper-right looks like he doesn't eat anything unless it's dipped in batter and deep fried. And is it me or does has he have bits of processed cheese slices wrapped around his fist? As for the guy in the top-left, I can't decide if that's an obscene hand-gesture he's making or not. I'm leaning towards it is because his presentation of being half Jeff Hardy mark/half Juggalo is an obscenity in and of itself.

Operating out of the upstate of South Carolina in Gaffney, 3CW - which is short for Carolina Christian Championship Wrestling (that name is something of a mouthful) - has drawn my ire previously and I'm sad to say that matters have not improved since the last time I saw one of their posters. This looks like it was put together by an infant, or possibly a grown-up with an infantile sense of what a wrestling poster should look like. If it had been put together by an infant, I'd probably compliment the child on the fact that they could make this because their skills will hopefully continue to develop. Since that more than likely wasn't the case I'm just going to sit here and shake my head for a moment because I don't know how else to react to a wrestling promotion that bothers to add its referees to their posters.

Before I get into commentary on this next poster, I feel as though I should shed light on two acronyms that are present here. First, AIWF, which stands for Allied Independent Wrestling Federations. It's something of a facsimile of the National Wrestling Alliance in that member promotions share talent and there are championships sanctioned by the AIWF that may be defended at events falling under the AIWF banner. Second, EDGE Wrestling, short for Extremely Dangerous Grappling Entertainment. Sounds kind of like someone might have borrowed from GOUGE (Gimmicks Only Underground Grappling Entertainment) or even OMEGA (Organization of Modern Extreme Grappling Arts) on the name, but I digress.

As for the poster itself, your guess is as good as mine as to what's going on here. The talent featured on the poster appear to be guys who take their craft seriously as from their builds they do look like athletes. Even so, the photos are too small and so poor quality that I can't make out much about them. There appears to be a planetoid in the upper third of the poster, which may or may not be the moon, and to its immediate right there's a tiny graphic of the continents of planet Earth. There could be some message of world domination in there but you'd have a hard time convincing me of it. But hey, at least they have a logo!

I have to point out that I'm fairly depressed right now. Having written this post in mostly one sitting and thereby having forced myself to dwell on the subject matter herein for a fairly lengthy amount of time, I will tell you that my mind is in a place where I feel as though I could benefit from certain types of pharmacology. And grain alcohol. Do they make whiskey flavored anti-depressants? No? Darn.

In wrapping up this entry to my Sudden Proliferation of Bad Wrestling Posters series, I bring you this poster from C4W Xplosive Wrestling from Myrtle Beach, SC. From my perspective, this is an example of how to do everything wrong in regards to a pro wrestling poster.

The text at the top of the poster states that C4W is "Myrtle Beach's #1 professional wrestling attraction". I'm somewhat offended that they chose to refer to their product as an "attraction" because the term plays into the tourist vibe of that area and in so doing cheapens the product. Also, to my knowledge, they are the ONLY pro wrestling company operating in Myrtle Beach. Is there a point to telling people you're number one when there isn't a number two, three, four, five, etc.? The text goes on to tout their having been voted the "Best New Promotion in the Carolinas" in 2011. That's cute, but that was three years ago. What have you done since then?

I've preached about the importance of logos in terms of an emblem being a great way to market a brand. In contrast, I never thought I would have to preach moderation in regard to logos but here I am about to do exactly that. There are 5 logos on this poster - three that have to do with C4W, one for AIWF, and I'm counting "The Civil War" graphic as one as well. The asinine nature of the name "C4W Xplosive Wrestling" aside (I can only imagine the creative process in picking that name had something to do with the fact that it would allow for the usage of words like "xplosion" and "xplosive", because of course any word that starts with an X is edgy), why use three of your own logos? Did whoever designed this think people were going to get lost while viewing it and forget they were looking at a C4W poster? "What, where am I? OH, C4W...I like potatoes!"

Let me take a moment to criticize "The Civil War" logo. I don't want to come off as a person who's easily offended by this sort of thing but I feel like using the phrase "the civil war" in relation to something like promoting a wrestling event is absolutely classless and in horribly poor taste. As if we don't have enough reminders of that bloody, tragic era of American history still being flamboyantly displayed here in South Carolina, I can't think of any good reasoning why a company would choose that as the title for one of their events. Use some other reference to warfare if you really have to, but not that - especially not here.

If you look closely at the ribbon running behind "The Civil War" logo you can see that the dates 1992 and 2010 are on either side of it. Refer back to the text at the top of the poster; "2011's Best New Promotion in the Carolinas". Either that logo is a piece of stock clip art someone at C4W found and decided to use without thorough inspection or an attempt at modification, or someone's timeline doesn't make sense. Could be a little of both in this scenario, but I digress.

Finally, I cannot leave out from my criticism the most inane aspect of this entire poster. The text beginning with "Battle Lines" and down from there is printed in a font called Comic Sans. Comic Sans is a font that was originally created for use in speech bubbles for help assistants in programs like Microsoft Office. (Remember Clippy the paperclip? Comic Sans is his native tongue.) Because of its cartoony, somewhat goofy nature, these days it is widely regarded as a font that should be reserved for use only by people who are 10 years old and under. People who don't know any better, in other words. The reason for that is because it looks silly and unprofessional, "silly" and "unprofessional" being two things one should try to avoid at all costs in the realm of professional wrestling.

I'm tapping out from this entry - I've had enough for now, but trust me when I say there will be more to come in the future.

Myrtle Beach Vacation 2013

My wife Jill and I have created many unique traditions for our little familial unit since we got together, but we've adopted another from her family and quite frankly it's become something that gives me a reason to look forward to summer each year. (Why else would I look forward to summer? This is South Carolina - it's 117° in the shade and there are mosquitoes the size of humming birds.) Jill's family has been making annual visits to Pirateland Family Camping Resort in Myrtle Beach, SC for more than 30 years, meaning they've been vacationing there at least as long as she's been alive. She and I have been a part of these trips as a couple since 2009 - that first experience was a real eye-opener for me as it was my first camping trip. I have to say that prior to that I wasn't sold on the concept of camping but it's apparently rubbed off on me well enough as we've been doing it ever since and we've even discussed buying a camper of our own (we've agreed that while it would be a nice piece of equipment to add to our garage, we don't quite need to go down that road just yet). Pirateland makes for a great get-away and excursions like this are a fine example of how family ties get a bit tighter thanks to things like sharing meals and a whole lot of laughter.

Pirateland Family Camping Resort

I have to be honest with you about this. When we go to Pirateland, we're staying in a "campground" but we aren't really "camping". Camping, to me, implies sleeping in a tent out in the wilderness without much more than a backpack and a compass to sustain yourself. What we're doing is essentially staying in a condo that at one point in its life happened to have been a traditional tag-along style camper.

A friend of Jill's family owns what's referred to as a permanent site and these tremendously generous folks are kind enough to let us use it for our annual trip to Myrtle Beach. In case you didn't know, a permanent site is a plot of land in a section of the campground where people have taken actual campers, moored them into a foundation, then modified them so that in many cases they don't even resemble campers anymore. For example, the camper we make use of still has the overall shape of a camper, however it has added features such as a porch, living room, expanded bedrooms, full bath, and even a laundry/utility closet. It's not a huge amount of space (especially not vertically speaking; I have to remember to duck when going through certain doors else I wind up concussing myself) but it's more than adequate for the two of us.

The campground itself is almost like a carnival environment in that you have all these nomadic people who've traveled from far & wide then congregated together for the sake of seeking rest and relaxation (amongst other things). Personally, I love checking out all the various campers that people bring onto the grounds as I find these porta-houses and their associated technologies to be quite interesting. Recreational vehicles and motor homes are the most intriguing as some of these things are palatial in what they have to offer in terms of amenities. I've jokingly told my wife that when we're old and retired (assuming we get old and can be retired, that is) we're going to sell off everything and buy a RV then spend our waking years traveling around. Hopefully by then RVs will be equipped with guidance systems; I'm not sure how well I'll be able to drive one of those behemoths when I'm in my latter years.

Pirateland is one of several campgrounds in Myrtle Beach which are adjacent to one another - I've never been to any of those so I have nothing to contrast the kind of things that they may or may not have to offer with Pirateland. Be that as it may, Pirateland isn't too dissimilar from a hotel when it comes to offered services. There's a laundromat, a store, WiFi, several pools, and even a restaurant in the form of a food truck (Hog Heaven BBQ). I still enjoy staying in hotels but I will say that our set up within Pirateland affords us a level of privacy and serenity not found in most resorts. There's just something about being near an inlet nestled amongst a bunch of live oak trees that's particularly satisfying.

2013 Annual Truesdale Myrtle Beach Putt-Putt Challenge Championship

To make a long story short, the 2013 Annual Truesdale Myrtle Beach Putt-Putt Challenge Championship did not go my way. Very much the opposite, as a matter of fact, seeing as how Jill more or less took me to the wood shed this year.

The 2013 ATMBPPCC went 4 rounds, with my wife coming out on top 3-1 in our best 3-out-of-5 scenario. We played at some of the most challenging courses we've encountered yet, and I think that added a lot to the overall competitiveness of the event.

Round 1 was held at the Castle course of Adventure Falls Golf (the Surfside location; there's another Adventure Falls towards North Myrtle). This is an older facility but one that is certainly well maintained and deceptively challenging. The first hole nearly threw both Jill and myself for a loop but we managed to recover and finish the round with a final score of Jill 44 to my 45, 7 and 8 over par respectively (every hole was a par 2; I have no idea who set that up but I believe they were a sadist).

Round 2 saw play shift to the Viking course of Dragon's Lair Fantasy Golf, a facility I've wanted to play at for years but never had previously. This proved to be my lone victory in the 2013 ATMBPPCC as I managed to squeak out a win over Jill despite the fact that the final score was a tie at 43 all (43 also being even par for that course). ATMBPPCC rules state that in the event of a tie the player with the most holes in one for that round shall be declared the winner. I had 1 hole in one (hole #10), thereby making me the winner.

Round 3 truly was a test of our physical conditioning as the atmospheric conditions began to wreak havoc on the both of us. For this round, we played the Dunn's River Falls course at Runaway Bay Miniature Golf, which is attached to the Tupelo Bay Golf Center. The heat and humidity common to summers here in South Carolina was in full force this day - I'm not ashamed to admit that I had perspired through my clothing so much that at the end of the round the sweat stain on my pants looked as though I'd urinated on myself. Jill bested me this round by a score of 41-44 (both of us were over for the round as par there is 39). We retired back to our camper after this round, needless to say, for showers and a fresh set of clothes.

Me, prior to losing 20 lbs. of water weight at Dunn's River Falls

The fourth and final round of the 2013 ATMBPPCC was held at Gilligan's Island Funland Miniature Golf. The Minnow course proved to be my undoing as I couldn't keep pace with Jill on the back 9. The 14th hole was particularly troublesome as it was there that I went from having a two-stroke lead to a two-stroke deficit. The final tally was 48-49, with both of us doing particularly well against the course as 54 is par at the Minnow.

It was all over but the crying at that point. I humbly submitted my congratulations to Jill on having defended her title, the first successful defense and retention of the ATMBPPCC trophy in its history.

Jill with the ATMBPPCC trophy

Random Acts of Fun and Hilarity

Food, Food, and MORE FOOD - Vacation, for a lot of people, is an excuse to let go of their diet and eat whatever they want. For me, it's just another day. I definitely need to be watching what I eat but I don't, and with that in mind came a consumption of mass quantities during our trip to Myrtle Beach. Every day while we're camping begins with a healthy portion of bacon, sausage, country ham, eggs, and crock pot grits (sometimes waffles, too, but they're not an every day offering). Several ladies in the family prepare these meals and they are always amazing - the meals and the ladies, I mean. Lunches are random in that they can be anything from buffalo chicken salad at Sweet Carolina's to a caramel mocha Rockuccino from the KISS Koffee House. Supper tends to be a family affair as well seeing as how one or two couples out of the gathering will handle cooking duties for the evening and provide enough vittles for the whole gang. Is it any wonder my clothes aren't fitting that well right now?

A typical breakfast during our annual Myrtle Beach trips

The New House of Blues Menu Blows - I have a long relationship with the House of Blues. I started going there for concerts around 2000 while I was a student at Francis Marion University (FMU and HOB are separated by roughly an hour's drive). It wasn't long after that that I found out about their Pass the Line program, whereby patrons of the HOB restaurant get early access to the concert hall. All you had to do was buy an entrée and you got in before the rest of the crowd; trick was, you still had to get there early enough to be at the front of the Pass the Line line. (HOB later debuted a program they called Crash the Barricade, which was similar to Pass the Line except you got treated to a buffet line with burgers, hot dogs, and the like. I never did this as I saw early on that folks in this line never got in as early as those of us in Pass the Line.) Seeing as how I went to hundreds of concerts at HOB, I became well-versed with their menu and I had several favorite items. Main among them were the catfish nuggets appetizer, buffalo chicken tenders, jambolaya, and the banana bread pudding (which was absolutely amazing). Unfortunately, sometime in the past two or three years someone within HOB's administration decided it was time to monkey with the menu in an apparent effort to fix what wasn't broken. They brought in Aaron Sanchez of Food Network fame and he redid the entire thing, removing all of our favorites in the process. I will say that we've eaten there twice since the changes were made and while the food is not bad it is not what we remember. I truly hope someday the old menu comes back but I'm not holding my breath on that.

The now extinct catfish fingers/nuggets appetizer from HOB

HOB's banana bread pudding - I can't tell you how depressing it is to know that I'll never eat this again

C4W Explosive Wrestling - I don't get to attend as many independent professional wrestling events as I'd like, but I do try to keep my ear to the ground when it comes to the industry as it relates to local wrestlers and promotions. C4W is a federation I'd been following loosely online via their Facebook page as I'd never had a chance to see one of their shows live previously. They ran a card the Saturday we got into Myrtle Beach which is why I took the opportunity to check them out. I will say this, to get off on a positive note; C4W has a great venue and set up as they're part of a sports complex called the X Gym. Their staging and ring all looked good, so from a presentation standpoint C4W has what a lot of other indies don't. Other than that, I have nothing particularly positive to say about C4W. Yes, I am a wrestling snob - I've been around enough good wrestling to know bad wrestling when I see it and C4W is mostly bad. To me, they are an example of what happens when an indie promotion with limited talent tries too hard to replicate what WWE does with a show like Monday Night Raw. You wind up with overly intricate storylines and "wrestlers" trying to emulate what they saw on TV. What boggles my mind the most about this show, though, is the fact that it drew a big crowd - as in probably between 100-150 people. I have no way of knowing how many were paying admission (some weren't; I saw the girl at the gate marking off names from a list) but it was an insane amount of people for a show that poor.

This is all you need to see to know C4W's quality - kick pads over Vans instead of boots

Teazers Pole Fitness & Dance Studio - Men have won the battle of the sexes. You know how I know we've won? Because pole dancing is now considered a legitimate form of exercise. While I was at the C4W show, I noticed a section within the X Gym that had a sign promoting "Pole Fitness". I wanted to give this the benefit of the doubt as being an honest gimmick like Zumba but did a little research on the matter (You guessed it, I Googled something!) and it turns out this is a business operating within the X Gym called Teazers Pole Fitness & Dance Studio. I guess it would've been too obvious if they'd called it Myrtle Beach Stripper School.

MagiQuest - After Jill & I had completed round 2 of the 2013 ATMBPPCC at Dragon's Lair, we were planning to spend some time walking around Broadway at the Beach which is a huge outdoor shopping and entertainment district. You can find everything at Broadway from the Hard Rock Cafe to Build-A-Bear, from Ripley's Aquarium to an Imax theater. We've checked out most of the offerings at Broadway but one we'd never tried previously is MagiQuest, a live-action role playing game. The concept is that you create your own character (I'm Red Beard and Jill is Lady Night Owl) that exists in a magical realm (think Middle Earth from Lord of the Rings) and you go about accomplishing tasks and missions in order to develop your character's abilities. It's a lot like RPG video games in that you're building up skills and resources with the ultimate goal being to become a Master Magi. You get a wand, which you can also customize, and you basically run around with a bunch of kids trying to slay dragons and other random baddies. I wasn't sure if it was going to be corny or not when we first went in but we wound up having a lot of fun with it so I'm glad we took the time to check it out.

An Octogenarian on a Trike - I bear no shame in admitting that I have the worst sense of balance in the history of mankind. Seriously, I can be standing still and lose my balance. As such, riding a traditional bicycle is not all that easy for me. This is why I purchased a Schwinn Meridian earlier this year; it's more or less a tricycle for adults, and I've gotten a lot of enjoyment out of it so far. The only issue I have with it is that it has no gears so hills can be challenging. Jill & I decided it would be fun to take our bikes to the beach this year as the campground makes for a great place to ride. Little did I know that my trike would inspire Jill's 80-something year old Grandfather to jump on it and go for a ride himself! Well, "jump on" might have been too extreme as he needed a little assistance in mounting up but once he got going he was fine. I can't tell you how many laughs seeing him on my trike generated; it was a great moment and a fine example of why it pays to always have a camera handy.

Myrtle Manor, aka the Farcical Nature of Reality TV - Myrtle Beach has never had an issue with maintaining its visibility as a tourist destination. Try as local government has to bolster its popularity by giving the area a more wholesome presence, the fact remains that there are parts of Myrtle Beach which will always be synonymous with booze, partying, and loose morals. When it came to pass that the cable TV network TLC (which I think should be legally required to change its name; it may still be "TLC" but I don't think their current line-up is indicative of a moniker like The Learning Channel) announced a show called Myrtle Manor to be filmed in a Myrtle Beach trailer park, there weren't too many happy elected officials. Be that as it may, the show went on and it featured an assembled cast of random miscreants who were intended to represent trailer park stereotypes. It was something of a hit in its first season as another batch of episodes has been ordered. We couldn't not see this place for ourselves which is why we sought out Patrick's Mobile Home Park, the trailer park where Myrtle Manor is filmed. Myrtle Manor doesn't make up the whole of the park, rather a rear corner of the property. In case you're a fan of the series and had any delusions that what you see there is real, I can tell you that Myrtle Manor looked deserted. It had the appearance of an abandoned movie set, which is more or less what it is at this point in time - a facade meant to serve as a location for a scripted series of events.

Medieval Times - I remember the first time I took my then-girlfriend, now-wife to Medieval Times. She had a strawberry daiquiri in the lounge while we were waiting to be seated and it turned her cheeks a bright shade of pink. I swear, she's let me drag her to so many weird venues for wrestling and shows like this that I'm surprised she goes along with any of my ideas any more. Regardless, going to Medieval Times has become a tradition for us as we've been every year since then. The show has changed significantly from what it was when we first started going but what's remained the same is the quality of the entertainment and the meal you receive during the performance. It's not a cheap night out but I think you get your money's worth.

Homophones Are Fun - One of my favorite moments of the entire week happened when we went to the MT box office to purchase our tickets. We've been to the arena so many times that there are only a couple knights we haven't had the opportunity to cheer for, and this being the case we wanted to see if it was possible to get into one of those sections. Generally speaking, seating is first come-first served meaning you won't know which area you'll be seated in until you go through the line. While we were purchasing our tickets the lady behind the counter asked Jill "Which night would you like?" Jill's response was, "WE GET TO PICK WHICH KNIGHT WE WANT?!" I cannot duplicate with text the excitement in her tone of voice when she said that and I only wish I'd had a video camera on her when she did. Of course, the lady at the counter meant which evening's show would we like to attend, not which knight's section in which we wanted to be seated. Epic blonde moment is epic.

We've been back home for a few days now. One thing that I realized immediately when we got back to our house is how much bigger our place seemed after having lived in a camper for a week. Our house isn't huge by any means but man did it ever seem gigantic when we returned! While the camper may be small, it's become a beloved part of our life together. I guess that sentiment plays into the old saying "Home is where the heart is". We've built a lot of memories during these trips of ours to Myrtle Beach and I certainly hope they continue on for decades to come.