Our Road to Building a Family - Portrait Innovations? More like Portrait Hostage Negotiations!

It goes without saying that as new parents my wife and I are constantly taking pictures and video of our son, The Duke. We make great use of the fact that our cell phones are equipped with way better than average cameras - I couldn't tell you how many of him I have on my personal device but I would say it's in the area of 100 to 150 shots at this point in time. (My wife likely has 2 or 3 times as many, and I am rather scared to consider how many my mother in-law has.) That's one of the lovely aspects of digital photography as opposed to traditional film. You can take hundreds if not thousands of photos, more or less to your hearts content, because the only concern you have is whether or not your memory card is getting full. I recall when I was a kid feeling lucky if I got 24 quality exposures out of a roll of film. (Do people even remember what a roll of film looked like?)

Those pictures are all well and good but they're not the professional, keepsake kind of photos that every family has hanging around their home. This being the case, my wife decided a few weeks back that it was high time we had some pictures taken.

If it sounds like I wasn't exactly overwhelmed with joy over the idea, you wouldn't be too far off base. It's not that I didn't agree that we ought to do what we can to document Duke's life in as grand a method as possible, rather it was the frugal side of my personality taking over. (Call me cheap if you want to, I like to think of myself as being fairly skilled at stretching a dollar and that's not a bad thing.) Actually, my frugal side didn't so much take over as it did go into a screaming, riotous conniption fit seeing as how I suspected this was going to be a pricey endeavor, and that was with me having absolutely zero knowledge of what a photo shoot with a commercial vendor goes for these days.

After we'd decided to look into having pictures taken my wife booked an appointment for us with the Picture People studio at the Buy Buy Baby location in Columbia, South Carolina. I don't think either one of us took the time to investigate what the cost of their services might be at the point in time the appointment was made. Was that a mistake? Maybe, maybe not. In hindsight it likely wouldn't have mattered as they don't seem to publish their pricing online, but that fact should have been enough of a red flag for my frugal sense to start going berserk.

We wound up visiting that Buy Buy Baby before our appointment as we were in the area and needed a few supplies. Jill got some documentation from them that included a menu of sorts with packages they were currently offering. One of the lower packages was in the area of $300.

Suffice to say that frugal me had a mild stroke at the sight of that...

We canceled the appointment with the Picture People the same day in favor of looking around at other options. Low and behold, within a few days time, my wife had located a coupon for use at a competing photography studio, that being Portrait Innovations. The coupon offered a shoot with prints for around $40 - that sounded like a great deal to me when compared to the fact that the Picture People wanted the equivalent of a car payment for their services, so we set up an appointment with them.

I forget who it was that said this to us but when we told someone about the shoot and the coupon their comment was "Oh, but you know you're going to want to buy more pictures than that!" I already had it in mind that there was a possibility we might want to add a few prints but I didn't see us spending more than $60, tops, and I gave that number to my wife as a ceiling for what I saw as being a reasonable expenditure.

Those would fall into the category of famous last words.

Our photo shoot was scheduled for 11 AM on the morning of January 17. Jill's Mom was staying with us that weekend as the three of us all had the following Monday off in observance of the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. We got dressed, prepped Duke, and loaded ourselves into the car so that we could be there with time to spare.

It was around 10:35 AM when we arrived and the parking lot was rather full already by that time of day. I point that out more for the sake of describing the scene than anything else seeing as how this particular Portrait Innovations is attached to several other shops in a strip mall, so it only made sense that parking would be limited. Regardless, as we got out of the car I began to get the same feeling as I do when I have an appointment with a doctor; your appointment may be for 11 AM but what they mean is you'll be seen somewhere between 11 AM and the rapture.

When we entered the studio there appeared to be one family in the process of having photos taken and two others that were waiting to get started. The customers who were there had spread out in such a way that all the seating was taken except for one chair, which we quickly assumed possession of so as to give Duke somewhere to perch until it was our turn. I don't blame those other families for the lack of seating, I blame the business. The waiting area was big enough to have accommodated significantly more seating than what was installed. As it was, we made like a couple of horses and stood around.

By the time 11:30 rolled around the family that was already on set when we arrived had wrapped up their shoot and one of the families in front of us were roughly half way through their turn. The other family ahead of us that was still waiting to begin apparently lost their will to hang around any longer and left without saying anything to the staff. Low and behold, not five minutes passed from the point that they left to when one of the attendants came to fetch them and begin their shoot. Their loss was our gain.

We began our shoot around noon, nearly a full hour later than our appointment. Jill had told me that the plan going into this was to not only get photos of the Duke but to also have a few family portraits made, and that sounded like a fantastic idea to me. What did not sound like a fantastic idea was the photographers first pose for us as a family which would require the three of us to get on the ground.

I am 34 years old as of this writing however I will tell you that I am probably less than 10 years away from having to have some sort of procedure done to one or possibly both of my knees. I'm not immobile by any stretch of the imagination, but when you combine my joints being what they are with the fact that I'm not the most graceful of individuals anyway, you can hopefully understand why getting on the ground isn't something I often choose to do. I did it anyway because that's what was asked of me and I wanted to try my best to make the most of the situation.

The pose we wound up in had me on the ground on my left side with my right knee raised and my left arm/leg left to prop myself up. It wasn't an uncomfortable position, to be quite honest, but it became uncomfortable after my wife and Duke were added to the mix (I'm not blaming them, I'm blaming the pose!) as I wound up more or less having to support their weight with my hips and lower back. It just wasn't a good situation for my pelvis and spine, is what I'm getting at. Making matters worse were the commands of the photographer to lean in, get closer, turn your head, and keep smiling all the while even though your left femur feels like it's about to pop out of its socket. I don't know why it is photographers have to put their subjects in these odd poses - they are wholly unnatural and you can tell this in the resulting images.

We did one additional pose as a family and it was in a more traditional arrangement where my wife & I were seated on stools, holding Duke in between us. The shots we got from that pose were the best ones of the day and I would've been perfectly fine if the thing had ended there. It went on for a while longer, though, and Jill's Mom even got brought into the mix. The idea, of course, is to take as many poses as possible because then they can try to sell them to you, which brings me to the next phase of this event.

Once we were done taking photos, we sat down in front of a monitor with our photographer - a young black woman who looked to be in her early to mid 20s - to go over what we had to work with. It was then that my wife mentioned to the photog that we had a coupon; the photog more or less hushed my wife, telling her that it was only good for one pose and that we'd get a much better deal by going with one of the packages currently being offered. How much those packages were going to cost wasn't discussed at that point, though, as we first had to go through and select our favorite shots.

Remember how I mentioned earlier the fact that pricing information for packages offered by these studios isn't readily available online? Nowhere in the shop itself was there a display, menu, or any kind of signage that would clue customers in to what they'd be forking over for pictures made therein.

The pictures did look quite good for the most part, although there were a few poses (such as the one of us on the floor) that just looked weird. Once we had it narrowed down to somewhere in the area of 16 poses the photog navigated through her software to the sales module and we finally got an idea of what we were looking at in terms of cost.

The first package she showed us was $554.

FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR DOLLARS.

To put that into perspective, when I was still making payments on my truck they were $250 a month, and when we were renting a house after we got married the rent payment was $525 a month.

I think she was joking but the photog turned to me after the total charge for that package was displayed on the screen and said, "So, Dad, do you want to write a check for that today?" Joking or not, the disgust on my face and in my tone of voice was very real.

I should mention that the packages I speak of are set up in such a way that you have to buy a certain number of photos featuring a specific set of poses in order to get freebies. For example, you might select 12 poses which would qualify you for a free hardcover book, two softcover books, and a CD with all the photos burned onto it. The more poses you select the more freebies you get, and the fewer poses you select the fewer freebies you get. This whole deal is, of course, meant to make customers feel like they're getting a deal when in reality you're paying for every one of the freebies. I have no method of verifying this but I would hazard a guess and say that the photogs (who double as sales staff) are more than likely working off of commission.

We then went through the process of whittling down our selection so that we could try to get to a price point that wasn't quite so ridiculous. For me, this became like what happened last year when I took my truck in for service to get the brakes done. What I thought was going to be a $200 bill wound up being almost $600. In this instance, what I thought would be a $60 bill wound up being $100 (the package we picked was around $200 and, thankfully, Jill's Mom was generous enough to pay half of the total). We paid our due, left to have lunch (it was roughly 1:30 PM by then, and I was feeling every bit of it since the only thing I'd had to eat thus far that day was a fiber bar), then came back about an hour and a half later to pick up our photos.

I made a comment about our experience on Facebook and a friend of our family chimed in with the comment, "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt." Along those lines, the lesson I take away from this is that it's all a part of being a parent. Sure, the pictures are good and we'll undoubtedly treasure them for as long as we can, but this is one of those times we'll look back on in 10, 15, 20 years and say "Do you remember how silly this day was?" Then we'll see the pictures with that little boy and his perfectly round head, and the money won't matter. The standing around won't matter. The pain in my knees won't matter. What matters is that we have a family and we did this together as a family.

The Sudden Proliferation of Bad Wrestling Posters - Part 5

It has been more than three months since I've made a contribution to this running series of blogs dedicated to shining a big, bright, shiny light on what are more often than not dull, dark, and usually depressing documents meant to serve as professional wrestling posters. Why the gap in coverage of this all-important topic in this day and age? I would like to say it's because the promotions responsible for such drivel have dried up and withered away but I don't think I could ever be so lucky as to have that happen. Crap-can indie wrestling federations are like the mythical hydra in that regard - cut off one head and two more appear. There's an old saying that the only critters left on this planet after World War 3 or some other type of global holocaust occurs will be cockroaches. I'm fairly certain that somewhere, even after the bulk of humanity has been annihilated, there will still be a middle school gymnasium with a ring made out of old car parts, railroad ties, and garden hoses set up inside of it where half a dozen or so "professional wrestlers" shall gather to entertain their fans, the cockroaches.

Lets begin this entry with a flyer for an upcoming WrestleForce event entitled AGGRESSION.

I have to applaud WrestleForce because they've truly stepped up their game in terms of flyers over the course of the past year. They've gone from having what were decent posters at best to work like this that is eye-grabbing, colorful, and well designed in terms of the overall layout. I know that there are those who will look at this and say "Oh, someone's playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto, huh?" because of the similarities between this poster and artwork produced by Rockstar Games for use on the GTA series of video games. Imitation in this arena isn't a bad idea seeing as how that beloved 18-35 year old male demographic is going to see this and immediately recognize the design as something potentially interesting. Besides, gaming and wrestling are two forms of entertainment with overlapping fanbases, so it's an organic method of drawing in potential consumers.

Next we have the poster for the debut event from AML Wrestling - "AML" meaning America's Most Liked. Not to sound too snarky here but I will say what others are probably thinking by stating that it might be a bit early for them to proclaim themselves as "America's Most Liked" wrestling when they haven't even had their first show yet.

I like this poster as it has an American Gladiators feel to it, which is fitting seeing as how AMLW has clearly put a significant amount of money into this production since they're bringing in names like Sean Waltman, Matt Hardy, and others. I'll add that the logo is fantastic; I'm a big fan of symmetry in design and there's plenty of it to be had in this piece.

Now we'll take a look at a poster from Premiere Wrestling Federation, a company owned and promoted by Steve Corino. This was for their January event, entitled SOUL SURVIVOR.

This is a fine example of a clear, concise poster that isn't overloaded with graphics but still accomplishes everything that a good poster should in serving as an advertising mechanism. I appreciate PWF's effort towards having an event title pair up with a featured match. So often it seems as though promoters just pick a word to go along with their show as a title or tag line because it looks cool when you spell it out in a certain font style without ever thinking of how it should influence the card.

Ultra Wrestle is a relatively new company that launched in 2014 but looks to make strides in 2015, starting with AWAKENS, which will be their first event of the year.

I can't say that I dislike this poster but I'm not 100% sold on it either. I get what they're doing here in trying to get a bit of a rub from Star Wars' momentum. (In case you've been under a rock for the past 3 months, it was announced last year that the next Star Wars film will be called "The Force Awakens".) Even so, there's a lot of text and I feel as though images of the talent from more than just two matches could have been involved. As I mentioned, UW is a young promotion - hopefully once they have a greater library of stock photos to work with they'll be able to incorporate more of their roster onto posters.

We've been on an uphill climb thus far but the path is about to take a very abrupt and misguided left hand turn into the inane! Here's the poster for HARDCORE HOMECOMING, Milestone Wrestling's next event.

This is pretty mild as far as Milestone Wrestling's posters go in terms of being a random mish-mash of imagery and text. As much as I want to make fun of this poster, there's a certain artistry to it that is keeping me from being too derogatory in addressing it. The background looks like an Andy Warhol painting, but then you've got Mike Levy and the Burke County Boyz (it's spelled with a "Z" because of course it is - kind of like putting an "X" where it doesn't belong in a word, purely for the visual) and that's the end of anything beautiful about it. If you'll notice there's only one match announced on the flyer - someone asked them about this on their Facebook page, and a representative from MW replied along the lines of "Whatever we decide to bring it will be a blood bath", so if the flyer doesn't entice you hopefully the promise of potential exposure to blood-born pathogens will.

Following that is a recent poster from Southeastern Pro Wrestling for an event they dubbed NEW YEARS RESOLUTION. Regarding that event title, I will say that in the past two months I have seen more shows with some variation on the phrase "New Year's Resolution/Revolution" than I thought conceivably possible - some that were and were not grammatically correct (there's supposed to be an apostrophe in "year's" that some seemed to leave out for whatever reason - I'm guessing ignorance and stupidity), and some that went so far as to incorporate backwards letters or numbers into the spellings.

I harp constantly about the fact that wrestling posters should highlight a handful of the talent scheduled to appear on the card - young, good looking, physically fit athletes who appear to be ready to pop off the printed page - via clear, posed stock images. Why? Because you can't promote shows only to the people who know the wrestlers by their names, you have to promote shows to everyone and that includes the potential audience that (despite the assumed popularity of a given talent) might never have heard of or seen them before. That and the fact that there are those "fans" out there who will come to shows because they aren't actually wrestling fans, if you catch my drift (judging by some of the comments that get left on the matches I upload to YouTube there are a LOT of people watching wrestling who don't know an arm bar from a suplex; I'll stop there and leave that information for you to digest).

The images of the wrestlers on this poster are so small that they look like thumbnails, totally devoid of any detail whatsoever. I'm not just talking about how they appear when you look at this poster on your monitor/tablet/phone/etc. Imagine a printed version of this poster and bear in mind the fact that most documents of this type would be, at most, 16" x 20" in size. You wouldn't get a clear view of them even if it was 3' x 2.5'!

I grew up in Lancaster, South Carolina which isn't too far from Monroe, North Carolina. I don't ever recall there being wrestling around Monroe when I was a kid, but if New Life Wrestling (the company for which this flyer corresponds) was around back then I'm glad I never saw one of their posters because it likely would have damaged my point of view on indie promotions.

Here is an example of a poster loaded with images that were culled, for the most part, from action shots and cropped down so as to be suitable for use on a flyer. (I have no idea what is going on with the "wrestler" I'm assuming is in black & white face paint for the NLW championship match; by the look of things dude could be an alien, is all I'm saying.) This is one of the most carnal sins wrestling promotions make these days because there's no reason you shouldn't have stock photos of all your talent. Buy a bed sheet that's an odd solid color, download GIMP or some other free image editor, get yourself a decent camera, and have them pose for 4-5 photos once they're dressed to compete on your show - guess what, by the next time you run an event you've got a whole bunch of material to work with in making your posters!

I do have respect for whoever made this poster because it genuinely appears as though the effort was there. Someone went through the trouble to chop images of NLW's roster out of other photos so they could be used on the flyer, and trust me when I say that can be a painstaking process. Pardon my French but to make use of an phrase quite popular amongst wrestling critics, they tried to make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

I want to briefly point out the title for that NLW show, REVOLUTION IV: A NEW BEGINNING. If you follow that logic, one can assume that there have been three "revolutions" prior to this one, and none of them were apparently effective seeing as how there's now going to be a fourth revolution. Whoever is leading that revolt should probably rethink their strategy, unless their strategy is to go around in circles in which case the title really is ironic (because sometimes words have double meanings).

We're getting towards the bottom of the proverbial barrel here now, and Southern Fried Championship Wrestling has the honor of being the upper crust of the worst this time around as they've published not one but TWO posters as of late that have drawn my ire.

The first event was called HALLOSCREAM and the second NEW YEARS NIGHTMARE (there's no apostrophe in the flyer so I didn't use one either). I am going to go out on a limb here and take a guess that SFCW utilizes the tried and true method of naming their events with the most clever thing they could think of based on what time of year it is. As such I expect their February event to be called VALENTINES VINDICATION, their March event to be FIGURE FOUR LEAFED CLOVER, and their April event to be EASTER EVISCERATION. See, it's not that hard - you just take something the month in question is known for then combine it with either a violent act or a wrestling-related term and, presto, you have your gimmick!

I'm not going to bother with going into more of a rant about the backgrounds, color choices, or the stock imagery being awful because I would be beating a dead horse, however I will add on a more serious note the fact that Anarchy Wrestling out of Cornelia, Georgia was recently purchased by SFCW's ownership. Anarchy has a rich history behind it as having been where a number of well known talents cut their teeth in the business (men like AJ Styles, Abyss, Xavier Woods, and others) and hopefully the new owners will be able to maintain that legacy rather than muck it up.

All Pro Classic Wrestling is (or possibly was; more on that in a moment) a promotion based out of Mullins, SC that, if memory serves, seemed to pop up onto my radar about half way through 2014. They never drew too much of my attention because they seemed to exclusively use a crop of performers from a region of South Carolina known for turning out competitors that are only slightly beyond backyarders in terms of their actual wrestling ability. Here's the poster for REDEMPTION, their November 2014 event.

I took an art class in high school and I remember one of the projects we had that semester was to make a collage using images we found in newspapers and magazines. I made this really creepy and rather dismal scene that had a passenger jet crashing into the letters "FAA" with background elements that were all either on fire or looked like they were part of a cave. (Don't ask me what my inspiration was, I think I just wanted to make something that looked mildly offensive for the sake of making something mildly offensive.) I tell that story because this poster reminds me of that collage in that it's a jumbled mess of logos, text, and stock photos that don't at all work well with one another. I can't stress enough how important having a clear idea in mind is when designing a flyer. It's like Steve Martin once said, "Here's an idea, have a point!", otherwise you wind up with something like this.

APCW had been promoting their January 3 event up until a few days before it was scheduled to happen, then without much notice at all it was cancelled. It was later made public that the reason for the cancellation was that they had issues getting the ring to the venue. I found that particularly silly seeing as how in the realm of professional wrestling the ring is arguably the most essential piece of equipment there is (although George South has proven that otherwise seeing as how he and his students once held a show for a community event in a grassy field after there were issues with the ring they were supposed to have used that day). Ironically enough, images of the ring APCW had used in the past were posted in a for sale ad on Facebook.

So was the show cancelled because they couldn't get the ring to the venue or was it cancelled because the ring had been sold? Only in indie wrestling, folks!

Last and certainly least I bring you another pair of flyers, this time from New Millennium Championship Wrestling hailing from Kings Mountain, North Carolina. These posters were for events called DEADLY GAMES and ROYAL BASH, titles that immediately reek of gimmick infringement seeing as how they're rather similar to WAR GAMES (the classic event that began back in the heyday of the National Wrestling Alliance and continued on into the World Championship Wrestling era) and the ROYAL RUMBLE (World Wrestling Entertainment's annual January pay-per-view) but that's where the similarities to anything awesome end.

I don't know where to begin with this, quite frankly. They chose to use Comic Sans as the font for the poster, which says a lot about the person responsible for it (i.e., childish, immature, and completely lacking good taste - I didn't come up with those character traits myself, mind you, I'm just citing the BBC). I am hoping I'm wrong here but the image of the wrestler (I assume he's a wrestler, anyway) on the right looks like it could have been a prison booking photo. I don't know if it's the jumpsuit or the forearm tattoos that make me think that. By contrast, the guy on the left has a double chin and no discernible muscle tone whatsoever yet he's trying to puff himself up by crossing his arms, a pose that everyone knows only real tough guys use. He's wearing sun glasses and he's got a super-cool replica of the "winged eagle" WWE championship belt (arguably one of the most identifiable belts ever yet one that gets made over by indie feds all the time as their "world" championship belt), so he's clearly not someone you should mess with if you know what's good for you!

NMCW took a different approach with the flyer for ROYAL BASH, their January 2015 event.

I would call it minimalist but I think lazy might be more fitting. To answer a few burning questions right up front:

- No, the date of the event isn't on the poster.
- Yes, this show was held on January 17.
- Yes, I had to spend more time than I'd like to think about verifying what the date of the event actually was.

No announced matches, no images of talent scheduled to appear, just a whole lot of tildes (~). When you're running a wrestling promotion and your posters look like this, it's time to rethink the decisions you've made that have brought you to where you are in life.

2014 - A Year in Review

Yeah, I know I'm a few weeks late with this (I say that apologetically although when you're examining the past should there be a realistic time frame in which someone has to look back in a retrospective manner?), but I have plenty of logical reasons for my first blog entry of 2015 having taken a while to make its way from my brain to the Internet. It's called being a dad and I am happy to say that of all the reasons I could have for ignoring something as ultimately frivolous (in the grand scheme of things anyway; not to discredit this fine publication but my priorities are what they are) as this here blog trust me when I say that there is none more rewarding than that.

I guess that's as suitable a segue as any into what was undoubtedly the most prolific, life-altering experience to come out of 2014, that being the culmination of the process my wife Jill and I have gone through in building our family. I won't bother recapping the entire turn of events that lead us where we are today (if you'd like, feel free to refer back to any of my blog entries that are titled "Our Road to Building a Family" as well as pretty much any blog entry my wife has made at her site - The Truesdale Times - in the past year), however I will make it known that to have what we have now is such an incredible gift. Our son - The Duke, as we'll still be referring to him until the adoption proceedings are finalized - will soon be 3 months old. He amazes me each and every day with his personality. There is nothing in the world that makes me as happy as seeing him smile and hearing him laugh. He's already changed and grown so much in the short period of time we've had him, it just makes me wish time would slow down or that I would somehow be able to appreciate it more because he'll only be this way for a short period of time. He'll be crawling soon, then he'll pull himself up to make his first steps, and before you know it he'll be graduating from college.

Oh, life - won't you take your shoes off and stay for a while? Quick, let me move on to other topics before I get any more cheesy and emotional over how awesome our little family unit became over the stretch of 2014.

Last year was full of experiences for my wife and I as we were able to travel and do some things we'd not been able to previously. I, personally, started off the year with a trip to Winston-Salem, North Carolina in pursuit of one of my hobbies, that being following independent professional wrestling promotions in the region. Jill & I made our way to Duluth, Georgia (which isn't too far away from Atlanta) for a Valentine's Day jaunt to pay a visit to a third Medieval Times castle. (We've been to their locations in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and Orlando, Florida; I won't say that we're officially on a trek to visit all the MT castles but at the same time I won't deny that it sounds like a fun endeavor.) May was a month that I think I'll remember fondly for the rest of my life seeing as how we got to go to one of our favorite vacation destinations, that being Walt Disney World, for the 2014 edition of Star Wars Weekends during which we got to meet a slew of Star Wars characters as well as see a panel that involved actors Jeremy Bulloch (Boba Fett) and Warwick Davis (Wicket). Our yearly vacation to Myrtle Beach was memorable for a number of reasons, not the least of which being the fact that I was able to reclaim the Annual Myrtle Beach Putt Putt Challenge Championship trophy for the second time. Our tires got a bit of rest towards the middle of the year but they got back onto the road around Labor Day as we ventured to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for a weekend getaway that turned out to be an adventure. And to cap things off as far as road trips are concerned, I traveled to Gibsonville, North Carolina in October to attend a pro wrestling card held there.

I had several people pose the question "Where are y'all headed this weekend?" to me throughout 2014. I guess by that you could say that we do a good job of documenting (and publicizing) our lives seeing as how they wouldn't be asking that otherwise. The truth of the matter is that I've never been a homebody - I blame my Grandmother for this as she was exactly the same, seemingly never content to spend too much time at home, preferring to be out and about enjoying herself whether that meant taking a bus tour across the country or going shopping. I enjoy getting out, seeing the world and doing things, and I don't anticipate that changing any time soon. That being the case the answer to "Where are y'all headed this weekend?" is, quite simply, wherever we feel like it.

2014 was not without its moments of trauma, unfortunately.

We got our first dose of what it's like to be fearful for our property's health and well-being in February when a horrible ice storm assaulted our part of the world. Rarely have I felt a sense of isolation so thick as I did during the few days that we were more or less cut off from the rest of the world by the effects of the storm (we only lost power for a few hours but our home phone, television, and internet connectivity was down for several days; to make matters worse our cellular reception isn't that great where we live). And, for the record, I'll be perfectly fine if I never hear the sound of trees cracking and falling under the weight of accumulated ice. I kid you not, our neighborhood was so tense that it seemed as though there were a thousand ACME brand anvils strung up by frayed twine, all of which were waiting for just the right moment to fall - but would they fall harmlessly to the ground or calamitously onto someone's house? We were fortunate that our home wasn't damaged, thankfully, and aside from a few downed limbs we didn't have much to concern ourselves with in terms of cleanup.

Not everyone has a pet. Those people are weird, or at least I believe they are. Animals, dogs specifically, make life better in my opinion. They give us companionship and affection, and in return all they want is for us to be happy. That being the case, it's easy to understand why it's so hard to deal with when age gets the best of them and they finally come to the end of what was hopefully an adventurous life. Chewie, my Mom's beloved dachshund, left this world towards the end of 2014 and it still makes me sad to think about the fact that he's not with us anymore. I buried him behind our storage shed. When the weather is right I plan on reseeding our lawn and once the grass gets going I'll put down a marker my wife & I had made for him.

Raise your hand if you've ever thought you were going to have to fight a brush fire extending off of a 4 alarm house fire with a garden hose while wearing your pajamas and a pair of sandals in 40° weather? No takers? My hand is raised, because I've been there!

Near the end of November, just after Thanksgiving, a vacant house two doors down from ours was more or less gutted by a fire. The heat from the blaze was so intense that it melted the vinyl siding on a home that exists between ours and it. At one point I genuinely thought I was going to have to try and stave off the flames that were steadily marching across the grassy lot between the two properties but fortunately enough the local fire department arrived with haste, thus saving me the trouble. (I was ready and willing, is the point I'm trying to make.) The house was a total loss and arson investigators from South Carolina's State Law Enforcement Division were on hand in the days after the fire. I don't think there has been any progress in the case (there's been no public comment from any authorities on the matter) but it definitely seemed suspicious seeing as how no one had been there for weeks and, from what we were told, the electricity had been turned off. It's been several months since then and the house that burned still sits in the state it was left, complete with crime scene tape. It's an eyesore and I certainly hope the owners of that property will have it cleaned up sooner rather than later.

Everyone who knows me well knows how big a fan I am of professional wrestling. Always have been, more than likely always will be. (I say that even though here lately the bulk of World Wrestling Entertainment's TV programming has made me question why I bother tuning in to their shows anymore.) In recent years I have grown especially fond of supporting our local pro wrestling promotions and the talent making up those rosters. I mentioned earlier in this post how I went to Winston-Salem, NC for an event. It was around that same time that I began to hatch the idea for my very own YouTube show, which I envisioned as being something of a reality or documentary series wherein I would depict the experience of what it's like to be a fan of indie pro wrestling and what it's like to attend events put on by promotions falling into that category. Rasslin' with Redbeard is what that idea eventually became, and I'm proud to say that I was able to produce 12 episodes in 2014.



In addition, I began filming matches at the events I attend and I add those to my YouTube channel as well. My mission there has been to hopefully do my part in giving the talent that exists in our neck of the woods an opportunity to be seen by eyes that might have bigger and grander ideas for them than what they're enjoying currently. It pleases me greatly when I see individuals sharing the content I publish, not because it does anything for me, personally, but because it validates the objective I've set for this effort.



I made a point to say that last bit there because I don't know that everyone understands that seeing as how I've had to deal with a few negative reactions to what I've been doing. More so than anything, that sort of response comes from people who feel as though I'm either presenting them in a negative light or otherwise cutting into their profits by way of making their product freely available when they had machinations of selling it. The fact of the matter is that with Rasslin' with Redbeard I am sharing my personal experience as a fan who drives (several hours in some cases) to a venue, pays for a ticket, and spends money at the concession stand. Not that shelling out my hard earned cash grants me a right to do whatever I want, rather that if I offer constructive criticism it's the honest opinion of someone who's been to enough shows and seen enough matches to know what's good, what's bad, and what falls somewhere in between. Believe me when I say that I do try to stay positive in promoting indie pro wrestling as a whole because there's enough snarky commentary out here on the Internet about pro wrestling as is, hence the reason why I want to build up as opposed to tearing down. That said, if I enjoy a show, I'm going to tell you I enjoyed it and if I didn't enjoy a show, I'm going to tell you about it, too.

To those of you who've taken issue with me over any of the material I've published, please know that I make no money from doing what I do with this content. I invest my personal time, effort, funds, and materials for the exclusive purpose of (hopefully) increasing the exposure of talent and promotions because I feel like they deserve it.

2014 was a great year and, in my heart, I have high hopes for 2015. I think that this will be a stellar year for my wife & I, and our still developing little family unit. With any luck we'll soon be able to share all the details imaginable about The Duke and we'll be able to go about our lives without need for all the cloak and dagger nonsense we've had to endure. He'll be joining us on all our adventures and get to live the full, spoiled rotten life he deserves.

Event Report: World Wrestling Entertainment presents WWE Live (12-5-2014)

My wife and I were able to have a night out on the town this past Friday night, which is something that's a very valuable commodity now that the focus of most of our free time is taking care of the Duke. He's a bit needy since he is a newborn and all, but we're not holding that against him - it's not his fault he can't prepare his own supper or wipe his rear end yet, obviously.

This particular night was a special occasion seeing as how World Wrestling Entertainment was in Columbia, South Carolina for a live event at the Colonial Life Arena. If you didn't know, live events are also referred to as house shows because they are non-televised. Companies like WWE use them for a number of purposes. For one, they're quick cash generators as they typically take advantage of whatever the going storylines are on TV to pique the interest of fans in a local market. In addition, they're an opportunity for a promotion to test the waters in terms of how an audience reacts to a match, a new gimmick for a performer, or any number of things which may or may not wind up appearing in programming later on.

In this instance it looked as though a majority of what was going on had to do with the upcoming Tables, Ladders and Chairs pay-per-view that is set to take place later this month. That event will be headlined by a tables match featuring John Cena and Seth Rollins - who would also be headlining the event we saw in Columbia.

Getting in and around the parking lots at CLA has always been somewhat tricky seeing as how the building is in the middle of downtown Columbia, is adjacent to several major streets, sits on the doorstep of the University of South Carolina's Greek village, and there's usually no assistance from local law enforcement in terms of directing traffic. That last bit is an issue thanks to the fact that there are no traffic lights to control the flow of cars, rather a couple 4-way stops that leave it to motorists to negotiate matters amongst themselves.

We got to the arena around 6:30 PM by which time a majority of the front-most parking lot was filled. Cost for parking that night was $5 - that's not too bad seeing as how game day parking for events at Williams Brice Stadium will set you back $20 or more, depending on how close you want to be to the venue.

Our tickets were being held at will call even though I had purchased them as part of a pre-sale promotion. Why? Allow me to elaborate.

Face value of the tickets I chose was $25. Those seats were a good middle ground option since they were not as expensive as the $90 floor seats but with a better view than the $15 seats. (WWE offers what is called the WWE VIP Experience for certain of their events; this is a package that includes front row seating where you are given the chair you sat in that evening, a backstage meet and greet with some of the Superstars, and a few other perks. These packages start around $300 and go up from there. Yes, there were a handful of VIP seats sold at this event!) There was a section of limited view seats available for this event, which struck me as odd seeing as how there were no limitations on the view; "limited view" usually refers to seating situated in such a way that it can be blocked by staging used during TV tapings. As I mentioned earlier, this was a non-televised event.

After you add in CLA's fees ($9 per ticket for this show; I've referred to convenience/facility fees previously as the "take a dump" fee because I can only assume they want you to pay for the fact that you had to go to the bathroom while you were there), our total was $68. Wait, we're not done yet because that amount doesn't count the fee you incur depending on the ticketing delivery option you select: Mail delivery, print at home, or will call. I don't remember how much the other two were but at $3.50 will call was the cheapest of the three. (What that $3.50 covers I can only imagine. I gather these tickets are printed on parchment salvaged from an ancient Egyptian tomb and printed using the blood of pandas.) If you add in the cost of parking and ticketing delivery split between our two tickets, a $25 ticket in reality costs $38.25.

And folks in the pro wrestling business wonder why live event attendance is down!

I have to commend the people who work behind the scenes to operate and maintain CLA. It is a beautiful arena that is always pristine in appearance and the staff working there are generally quite cordial. I can't say as I've ever had a bad experience there.

Our seats were in one of the lower levels several rows off the floor. When it comes to events like this I've learned that the only good floor seats are in the front row. If you're sitting further back from that you're going to spend the majority of the time dodging the backs of other people's heads instead of watching the show. Given how much those seats cost, it's simply not worth it. For this reason unless I can get front row I'm perfectly fine taking a seat in the bleachers. Quite frankly I don't know that I would buy front row these days even if the opportunity presented itself seeing as how in my opinion the product doesn't warrant the cost.

A number of vignettes and advertisements were shown on the jumbo-trons around the arena before bell time, and these included a message from Dolph Ziggler who spoke about his Intercontinental championship match against Luke Harper that would be coming up later on in the evening. I can only guess as to what attendance might have been but I will note that there were plenty of good seats available. (The house looked about the same as what we've seen the last few times we've been to WWE live events in Columbia.) The show began promptly at 7:30 PM and our ring announcer for the evening was none other than Brandi Rhodes who is the wife of Cody Rhodes.

Here's a rundown of the card along with my thoughts on each match.

#1) Ryback defeated Curtis Axel

Ryback has had his name in the press a lot here lately thanks to having been the subject of some of CM Punk's comments made during an interview on Colt Cabana's Art of Wrestling podcast wherein Punk stated that Ryback was responsible for injuring him on a number of occasions. If Punk's statements are true, it would appear as though Ryback's previous gimmick of "The Corn-fed Meathead" Skip Sheffield wasn't that far off from reality.

Speaking of Ryback, he definitely benefited from being the first babyface (hero/good guy) to appear on the card as the crowd reaction he received was quite audible. It appeared to be coming from the same section of the audience that later on in the evening would be chanting "LET'S GO CENA!"

This seemed like an odd bit of booking to me because it was only a short while ago that Curtis Axel and Ryback were working as a tag team called RybAxel (appropriately enough). To my knowledge there was never a storyline presented as to why they'd be broken up, but then again the success of many modern WWE storylines is dependent upon the fact that their writers assume the fans suffer from some form of memory loss. (Hence the reason why Big Show has gone through something along the lines of 20 character turns - as in transitioning from hero to villain - during his run with WWE.) Nevertheless, you can tell who was Marty and who was Shawn out of their pairing based on the fact that Ryback was in the main event of Survivor Series and Axel has been relegated to appearances on Main Event (if you don't get the Marty/Shawn reference, I'm sorry but you've been reading this entry for far too long to be that far out of touch with this kind of material).

#2) Fandango (with Rosa Mendes) defeated Sin Cara

Fandango was announced as being "the new and improved Fandango". I bother with pointing that out because the wrestler now known as Fandango has been involved with WWE since 2006 (not the whole time as Fandango; he's had 3 or 4 other gimmicks) at which point he began working with Deep South Wrestling, an independent promotion that served as a developmental territory for WWE which no longer exists. He has worked there, Florida Championship Wrestling, NXT, and finally as part of the main WWE roster. For someone as talented as he apparently is to have had such a drawn out career with no real highlights to speak of is baffling to me.

Sin Cara came to the ring sporting a Lucha Dragons t-shirt, which is the name of the tag team he's involved with in NXT. As of this writing he and his partner, Kalisto, are the WWE NXT Tag Team Champions.

#3) Emma, Alicia Fox & Charlotte defeated Paige & The Bella Twins

There was a social media push before the show began towards getting the fans in attendance to use a Twitter hashtag to vote on whether they wanted to see a 6-Divas tag team match or if they wanted to see a 1-on-1 Divas match. In terms of offering up options to fans of pro wrestling, that's like asking a 6 year old if they want a chocolate-dipped ice cream cone or some nice blanched asparagus.

The big deal here was that Charlotte was involved. She's the current WWE NXT Women's Champion and, perhaps of more interest to most fans, the daughter of "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. She was involved for the majority of the match and made a good showing for herself. The Flair references are a little thick with her presentation at the moment seeing as how she had "WOOO!"-ed about a dozen times before the match even started.

After the match was over, Nikki and Brie (the Bella Twins) began to argue with one another. The two of them are supposed to be on the same page according to what's going on within TV storylines, however they appeared to have split on less than amicable terms this night as Brie shoved Nikki and walked off on her own. That could be foreshadowing something to come down the line but it could also be an example of how house shows exist in a vacuum, meaning none of these events matter in the grand scheme of things because they aren't on TV and therefore aren't part of the running narrative.

#4) Intercontinental Championship Match - Dolph Ziggler defeated Luke Harper by disqualification

Going into the show I had this contest in mind as being a contender for match of the night. In reality it felt kind of flat, and that bugs me for a number of reasons. Knowing what these two are capable of and seeing the match they had, it surprised me that it was somewhat dull in its pacing. I knew Ziggler had zero chance of winning the title because titles never change hands at live events (that's not entirely true; they do change hands at live events but only about as frequently as we elect Presidents). The fact that the guts of the match didn't feature the sort of athleticism these two show off during episodes of RAW or Smackdown was disappointing but the decision to have the match end as the result of Harper pushing Ziggler into the referee was somewhat confusing (at first I thought the ref had disqualified Ziggler for making contact with him) and mostly unsatisfying.

- Intermission -

#5) R-Truth defeated Cesaro

As I mentioned on my Twitter feed, this is why CM Punk quit.

Here's another crazy booking decision which doesn't make any sense to me. Why would a guy like R-Truth, who hasn't been on any of the main WWE programming for a while now, get a win over Cesaro? I can only assume Cesaro is in someone's doghouse. If this is all the Swiss Superman will ever get to be on the main roster, then by all means send him back to NXT where he can be appreciated for having phenomenal matches with talent like Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Finn Balor, and Hideo Itami.

#6) A New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E Langston with Xavier Woods) defeated WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz & Damien Mizdow in a non-title bout

This was my favorite match of the night because out of the 7 contests on the card it was the one that had the most energy and life to it. The Miz can get heat just by picking up a microphone, Damien Mizdow is one of the best characters in WWE right now, and I sincerely hope that A New Day goes far because those guys are working their tails off in that gimmick.

#7) John Cena defeated Seth Rollins in a street fight

The last event my wife and I attended together before this one was a WWE Live show in November of 2013 which was also held at CLA. The main event that night was a street fight between the Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper & Eric Rowan) and the team of CM Punk & Daniel Bryan. Fast forward to the present where the Wyatt Family doesn't exist, Daniel Bryan may or may not ever wrestle again, and CM Punk is gone from WWE completely. My how things change over the course of a year!

I have to give a hand to Cena and Rollins because this match was definitely more in line with what one would expect when you hear of a match being held under street fight rules than others I've seen. (Of course you could just as well interchange street fight, extreme rules, no disqualifications, and a few other labels that get added to matches where anything goes. Why WWE uses one instead of another is anyone's guess. Perhaps WWE conducted a study and determined that "street fight" was more effective in terms of marketing.) They brawled up and down the aisle, made use of a number of weapons, and Rollins had so much heat on him that he even managed to make a young female fan at ringside burst into tears. That's the kind of reaction you rarely see anymore in pro wrestling and it goes to show that no matter how many times John Cena may face insurmountable odds (and triumphantly overcome them) his loyal fans are there with him 100% of the time.

Rollins went through two tables during the match, once on a reversal out of an Irish whip into one of the corners and a second time via an Attitude Adjuster from Cena off the top rope. I believe Cena and Rollins had this same match at least once more during the loop of live events this past weekend, so that means Rollins likely went through 4 or more tables in less than 3 days time. All I can say to that is hopefully he has a good chiropractor.

All things considered this was a fun night out but the matches overall left both of us feeling like there was something missing. I don't know if that something is star power, emotional involvement, or what but this was a fairly vanilla piece of work. Looking back, I think it's interesting that out of 7 matches the heel (villain) only won once, that being Fandango.

Of course we couldn't go to something like this without shooting an episode of Rasslin' with Redbeard! I have to give my wife major kudos seeing as how she served as camera operator for more than a few shots that became a part of this episode. She humors me and my silly endeavors, which is just one reason why I love her.

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Arson (?)

We're getting to the time of year where my wife & I get extremely busy in terms of our schedules being overrun with matters of the season. For several years now it's been that we're almost always on the move usually from the second week of November right on up through the new year. If it's not a family event it's some other type of festive gathering that has us tied up, but for good reason obviously.

2014 is the first year since we've been married that we did not take a vacation the week of Veterans Day. That had become our week to take a trip seeing as how we both have the Veterans Day holiday off; the free day makes it particularly ideal for going out of town seeing as how that means we didn't have to take as much leave as we would otherwise. We took a cruise to the western Caribbean in 2011 then we went to Walt Disney World in 2012 and 2013. Not this year, though, now that The Duke is in our lives. (I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming him for us not being able to go somewhere because I know that's exactly how that last sentence would make it seem. If I had to choose between a vacation and him, I think you already know what I'd choose!) He'll be able to get out and about soon enough as he'll be getting his immunizations in the next few weeks and at that point we won't have to keep him cooped up any longer.

That said, the past few weeks have been very eventful for us. I hate to say it but we've had a bit of a string of bad luck when it comes to our vehicles. Both my truck and Jill's car have had to have work done here lately - the thermostat in her car went bad and the starter in my truck finally decided to die after having been on its last legs for about a month. My wife's father was able to get her car back in working order (he's that kind of awesome) but the truck wound up costing me in the area of $350 for parts and labor. Car repair never seems to be something people plan for, or at least I don't. I've made the statement to several people in the past that just once in my life I'd like to actually budget for tires as opposed to having to buy them on the spot as a result of absolutely having to have them when an issue arises. That's a goal to work towards, I guess.

At any rate, here's a recap of what's been going on with us here lately.

Thanksgiving

I think I look forward to Thanksgiving more so than I do just about any other holiday, including Christmas. Why? Well, I guess in my mind Thanksgiving doesn't seem like work or that a lot of showmanship is involved when you compare it to the goings on of December. With Thanksgiving you know what you're in for - time with family, lots of yummy food, and nothing else to do but sit around and watch football on TV while enjoying a plate of leftovers. Christmas, on the other hand, seems like it's so much more of a production to me. Not that I dislike Christmas, I simply prefer Thanksgiving.

For the past two years we've hosted family at our home for Thanksgiving and it has been a real treat to be able to do that. There was a point in my life where I wouldn't have believed you if you told me I'd have my own house much less that I'd have the opportunity to do something like we have with these occasions.

It's become something of a tradition that my Father in-law brings his infrared fryer and cooks the turkey for us, and that's exactly what he did this year. I'm not sure how that device works but it somehow uses propane to generate the infrared heat waves to cook whatever is inside it. (Note how I referred to it as an infrared fryer and not just an infrared turkey fryer; you can cook all sorts of things with it, not just turkeys.) Some guy who's way smarter than I'll ever be figured that out and now we have tasty Thanksgiving turkeys for which we should thank him.

My Father in-law isn't the only one who contributes to the meal, of course, as most everyone pitches in with some aspect of the menu. Case in point, my Aunt brings her potato salad which - and I'm not exaggerating here - is literally the best potato salad you'll ever have. She uses a specific type of potato, Duke's mayonnaise (which is the only mayonnaise you should ever consider using for things like potato salad), and adds in diced bell pepper which gives it a great flavor as well as giving it an interesting textural contrast to the soft (not mushy) potatoes. Other selections on this year's menu included ham, dressing, green bean casserole, deviled eggs, cranberry sauce, as well as an assortment of pies - pecan, sweet potato, coconut cream, and coconut custard.

After the meal while we were all sitting around enjoying each other's company, Jill was looking through print advertisements for sales that would be happening throughout the upcoming weekend. She brought up to me that Walmart had what sounded to be a great deal on an Xbox One bundle that included a copy of a game I've been looking forward to called HALO: The Master Chief Collection. (Long story short, I'm a HALO nut and have been since I played the first game.) The Xbox One up until a few weeks ago had been retailing for $400 but it's recently been lowered to $350 - this deal at Walmart had the console, the game, and a controller for $330. The only trick to it was the fact that it was a Thanksgiving day sale, as in one that would be kicking off at 6 PM. By the point in time my wife had discovered the sale it was creeping up on 4 PM.

In my head I was going over the logistics of the proposal. Yes, I wanted an Xbox One but did I want it at the expense of having to brave the lunacy that would certainly be the Walmart in Orangeburg, South Carolina on an occasion such as this? (As proof of that statement, I offer the story about the time I almost got run over while walking in the parking lot.) With it being so late in the day, relatively speaking, I wondered if there was already a line for the consoles and if the allotment at that location had been claimed by eager shoppers. Jill's Mom was staying with us over the weekend, and she had no issues at all with taking care of the Duke if we wanted to give it a shot, so I knew we wouldn't have to worry about his well being. All things considered we decided to go ahead and risk it - yes, we were going to Walmart on Thanksgiving, and not because we forgot the cranberry sauce.

We arrived just after 4:30 PM and I was more than a little shocked by the fact that the parking lot wasn't overflowing with cars by the time we got there. I fully expected there to be cars jammed into every conceivable spot around the property, but it was only at about half capacity which is about what it is at any given time of day (it seemed very comparable to how it is when we're typically there, to be honest). As we entered the store we were given a map detailing where specific sale items were set up. Fittingly enough, the Xbox Ones were in place behind the counter in sporting goods.

Making our way to the very back corner of the store (I've always wondered why sporting goods get stuck in one of the most remote sections of these stores) we noticed that the central portion of the space had been taped off so as to limit customer access. We could see product stacked up on pallets and wrapped in plastic - to me, they looked kind of like they were innocents being held captive and in restraints prior to being sacrificed to the oncoming horde. There were balloons labeled with the name of an item floating above the locations of each, a tactic I thought was quite clever. Also, I pointed out to my wife that many of the store associates were wearing bright yellow ponchos; we both agreed that this was most likely so that they could easily identify one another amongst the crowd.

When we got to sporting goods and I spotted the Xbox One balloon I prepared myself for the line - which I could not see from the angle of our approach because of the fact it was running down an aisle. I anticipated it being at least 30 people long and that all the consoles in stock had already been spoken for. To my amazement, there were only 9 people in line and I could see at least twice as many consoles stacked up behind the counter.

 My anxiety subsided as all we had to do now was stand around and wait for 6 PM. The goings on of the people around us provided plenty of entertainment to make the time roll by. We chatted with the people around us and we all got a real hoot out of the fact that it seemed as though the section of the store we were in was the most organized of any. As 6 PM approached we noticed that the crowd noise inside the store was incredibly loud and that there was no longer a whole lot of room to move around. About 10 minutes before 6 we heard the sound of plastic ripping followed by the shouts of a store associate who was trying to maintain order around their quadrant. I think by that point an effort geared towards maintaining order was like trying to use a fish net to catch smoke. Suddenly the notion of putting us at the back in sporting goods didn't seem like such a peculiar idea.

When 6 PM finally rolled around it quickly became evident that things weren't going well. For this sale, Walmart was offering two different Xbox One bundles at the same price point of $330, one that came with Assassin's Creed Unity and another with the Master Chief Collection as well as a free $30 Walmart gift card. We were in line in sporting goods around the gun case as they had the systems set up behind the counter there. As the sale starts those of us further back in line begin hearing rumblings from the front that the bundles aren't ringing up at the right price.

Turns out they had a different Assassin's Creed bundle that came with Kinect incorrectly mixed in with their inventory. They were ringing up at the correct price as they weren't supposed to be included in the inventory for this sale. I pointed this out to one of the clerks myself - the boxes were visibly different and no one else seemed to notice.

In advance of the sale an associate had gone through the line, counting out how many people were there to buy one of the Xbox bundles (separating the buyers from the hangers on, as it were). I believe she had our number to be somewhere in the low twenties, and she made a point to announce to everyone that they had 36 of the bundles on hand. Unfortunately that 36 included a number of the Kinect bundles - I'm sure there was at least someone in that line who didn't get a system that day.

To make matters worse a customer that was 2 spots ahead of me in line purchased then returned and re-purchased a bundle. She bought the Assassin's Creed bundle then asked for her $30 gift card. Thing was, the AC bundle didn't come with the gift card, only the Halo bundle got those. So she decides she wants to return that bundle and buy the Halo bundle instead. My point in detailing this is to say that this experience was made worse by the fact that either that customer was a crook or that the associates didn't seem to know what they were selling.

The biggest challenge we faced that evening came after I had my Xbox One in hand - that being the process of getting out of the store as well as out of the parking lot. I would love to know how many people were in the store as we left as I would assume it had to be at least 1,000 souls. We ducked, bobbed, and weaved out way down the aisles until we were out the door and into the sea of cars that was now the parking lot. When I say the lot was full it literally was full as there were people parking at businesses across the street and walking over.

I saw that there were several Orangeburg county sheriff's deputies vehicles up on the curb in front of the store as we entered; apparently they were there for crowd control and not traffic control as it took us nearly an hour to get out of the lot. I have no idea what the delay was from, other than there just being so many cars coming into the lot with nowhere for them to go. We wound up making our escape through a gap created by a pair of empty parking spaces and we got home in the area of 8:30 PM. I'm glad that I got what I wanted that evening but I severely doubt my wife and I will be making another outing like this any time soon!

Black Friday

I said we wouldn't make another outing like the one we had Thanksgiving night and yet we went out on Black Friday - go figure. Truth be told, we're not like your usual Black Friday shoppers in that we don't get up at the crack of dawn to begin the assault on your bank account. Rather we wait until around lunchtime because by then most of the real crazies are already at home or they've found somewhere with sufficient cover to allow them to crash.

I'm not going to go too deep into our experience with Black Friday this year because there's nothing too terribly interesting about the day to share. We shopped, we ate lunch (at Chicken Salad Chick - if you like chicken salad as much as we do, that's a restaurant you need to make a facet of your life), we shopped some more and then we went home. However, notice in the last sentence of the previous paragraph that I said "most" of the real crazies were out of action when we began our day...

We went to the Harbison Boulevard location of Buy Buy Baby in Columbia, SC. As we were getting in the car to head to the next shop I hear what sounded like someone yelling. I didn't pay it a whole lot of attention at first even though it seemed like the sound was somewhat nearby because I wasn't sure what I would wind up being witness to. (If I can at all avoid getting involved in a bad scene I'm going to do so at all costs.) I heard the yelling again and this time it became clear that this wasn't a sound produced by someone in distress but rather someone who was just plain pissed off.

I looked to my right and saw a young woman roughly 50 yards away, probably in her early to mid-twenties, wearing a pink hoodie who was obviously agitated. She yelled something I couldn't quite make out, stomped over to the driver's side of her vehicle, got in and slammed the door in the process. She then proceeded to crank up the car and speed off before pouncing on the brakes, putting the car into a slide with the tires smoking. I hadn't noticed yet but she stopped where she did because there was a man standing on the grass beyond the curb near a tree in the parking lot; I guess he figured he was safer there, although from the look of her she didn't appear to be the sort that would let anything get in the way of her tirade.

The two of them exchanged words. More accurately, she screamed at him about how much she hated him while he stood there trying to talk to someone on his phone. This went on for a few moments then another car pulled up behind where she was - she'd stopped in a lane of traffic, I should have bothered to point out. The driver of the other car honked their horn which didn't help matters at all as the woman got out of her car and shifted her rage to the driver of the other vehicle. Lets just say that this driver saw a couple of wild birds fly by and also got treated to an assortment of colorful metaphors.

I don't know why people get into arguments like that, never having been in one that escalated to that degree myself. Believe it or not the guy she was yelling at got into the car with her. As Tom Arnold's character in True Lies said, "Ballsy...Stupid, but ballsy." Now that I think about it, that quote kind of encompasses the notion of going out on Black Friday as a whole. Something that takes a certain amount of bravery and at least as much ignorance.

Arson (?)

During the afternoon hours of November 29, I was working in our yard assembling our Christmas decorations. We don't do anything too extravagant, just a few rope lights strung along the railings of our front porch and some net lighting in the shrubbery. Later that evening as Jill, my Mother in-law and I were settling in to watch the kickoff of the Iron Bowl our doorbell rang. This was particularly peculiar because of the fact that we don't get many visitors out our way, but especially not of the unannounced variety at night. I got up off the couch while attempting to calm down our dog who is always quick to notify us with a chorus of barks that the doorbell has, in fact, rang.

When I got to the door I saw George, who is the teenaged son of one of our neighbors. I opened the glass door and while pointing to his right he immediately said, "THAT HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"

My brain didn't instantly process what he was saying. I looked in the direction he was pointing and my eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing.

The house two doors down from ours was on fire. (I took a tiny amount of relief in this realization because at first I thought he meant the house directly beside ours. My fear there, of course, was that the fire might spread through the trees that separate the two lots and that it would then jump to our home. That house is new construction and, fortunately, is unoccupied.) "On fire" is too subtle of a description for the flames that were coming out of the house. "Blazing inferno of Hellfire", maybe, but to say it was just "on fire" is a horrible understatement.

We're all in our pajamas at this point and I was barefoot. I went back into the house to put on a pair of shoes, and of course the most readily available pair were my trusty Nike sandals. (I believe Jill told me later on that when she first went into the yard she was only wearing socks.) Jill grabbed our house phone, called 9-1-1 and alerted them to what was going on. We saw one of our other neighbors running to the house next door to the one on fire to get the elderly woman that lives there out of harms way. In the mean time, George and I were standing there watching the blaze when I realized that the grass was burning.

The flames were advancing like a tiny wave of destruction, consuming the dry, dead grass and leaves on the ground. I knew that the fire department would be on their way but I had no idea as to how long they it would take them to respond. I did the only thing I could think of doing at that moment - I went after one of our garden hoses and began unreeling it.

My first thought was to take the hose and connect it to a spigot on the house beside ours. I knew there had been water there as the builder had set out sprinklers and taken great care in making sure the fresh sod he put out got plenty of water. Apparently the water had been shut off, more than likely at the tap in the yard, because the spigot was dry. My next best option was to drag the hose back over to our house and hope that it reached far enough to do some good. I believe that hose is 250 feet in length - if it had been any shorter than that it would've been useless.

Luckily by the time I had the hose ready to go the fire department showed up. It felt like it took them 20 minutes to get there but in reality it was less than 5 minutes from when Jill made the call to 9-1-1 to when the first truck was on the scene. I was relieved, certainly, but with the adrenaline that was coursing through my system I'd be lying if I said that I was a tiny bit upset that I didn't get to earn my amateur fire fighter status by participating in the containment of the blaze. My hose may not have had the girth of theirs but I was more than ready to do what I could (no, there was no way I couldn't not make that joke here).

Bear in mind that the temperature that night was around 40°. I was wearing basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals. Between the heat from the flames and the adrenaline in my system I didn't feel the cold at all - not until an hour or so later, that is, when the fire was mostly out.

We've learned since the fire that this house was nearly 100 years old and that it was built out of what's called fat lighter or fat wood. I had never heard those terms before, so if you're like me and are wondering what that means I'll tell you that essentially it means the house was built out of matches. Fat wood is typically used as kindling nowadays but in the period this home was built it wasn't uncommon to see houses made out of it because of how hard the wood is. There was likely very little that could've been done to save the house as the fire spread very quickly across those old timbers.



Once the fire was out, there wasn't much left of the house. It's difficult to see in the picture below but the majority of the structure was gutted and the roof had collapsed.

The photo below is an image of the vinyl siding on the house directly beside ours. I'm guessing here but I believe the two houses are roughly 100-150 feet apart. That's all the evidence you need to be able to understand just how hot the fire was burning. (In contrast, there is another home on the other side of the one that burned. That house is less than 20 yards away yet it suffered virtually no damage at all.)

I believe there were either 3 or 4 fire trucks that responded to the fire. In addition there were a number of volunteer firemen who drove their own vehicles, at least 1 ambulance, several Saint Matthews Police Department patrol cars, and I believe trucks from a few of our utility companies as well. I can't tell you how much we appreciate their responsiveness - it goes without saying that there were plenty of opportunities for an event like this to get out of hand, but thanks to them the damage was limited to only one piece of property.

In the next photo you can see just how much damage was done to the home.

You may be wondering about who was living there at the time. This house was actually a rental property and was vacant before the fire. We had very little interaction with the people who had been living there (they offered us a dog once; we respectfully declined) and, as a matter of fact, it had been several weeks since we had seen any cars parked at the home. Allegedly (I use the word seeing as how what I'm about to add to this story is hearsay) the electricity had been turned off, they had been evicted, and they were supposed to have been fully moved out by the day of the fire.

If that isn't a suspicious scenario I don't know what is. The day after the fire, our local police and agents from the South Carolina State Law Enforcement Division poured over the scene. I have no idea where they stand with their investigation but I feel as though there's a high probability that this was a case of arson.

My faith in humanity has wavered because of this incident. It absolutely baffles me why someone would do such a thing in a crowded residential neighborhood. Did they not stop to think about what would have happened if the fire had spread? Forget the houses and the stuff in them - all that can be replaced. What about the potential for loss of life? If you have a grudge with someone, settle it with them - don't set fire to a property that's nestled in between so many other homes filled with families.

A Tribute to Chewie

When a dog comes into your life, you have a special opportunity to form a relationship that is unlike any other. A dog doesn't care how much money you make or what kind of car you drive, they aren't concerned with what team you pull for or what's going on in the realm of social media - all they care about is that you're there and that you're a part of their life. It could be accurately said, then, that the dog isn't so much an animal as they are a beloved member of your family. And so it is that when the time comes that the fur around their nose turns grey, their legs don't quite have the same pep they once did, and their little light begins to fade becomes one of the most painful moments imaginable. You realize then that the time you've had with them was a gift, one that won't last nearly long enough.

Words cannot express how sad I am right now as I'm writing this. On November 25, 2014, I lost the closest thing I've ever had to an honest to God brother.

My Mom's dog, Chewie, has crossed the rainbow bridge.

My heart hurts.

I miss my friend...