I've seen numerous blog entries of this nature from other writers. I'm not one to normally jump on trends as it relates to blog topics but it feels right at this moment in time. Seeing as how I'm coming up on my thirty-fourth birthday (I chose to spell it out because it looks more regal that way, obviously) and considering how I'm never too bashful about reminiscing, I figured I would try my hand at talking to a version of myself who, as I remember it, could've used an ally to provide advice about life, school, and a lot of other things.
Dear Robert,
If my (Our?) memory serves me correctly, at this point in your (Our? I'm going to have to settle this before the end of the letter, I realize.) life you're preparing for our (That didn't take long...) junior year of high school. Right about now you're dreading the idea of having Mrs. Courtney's English class because, as you will soon find out, everything you've heard about her actually is true.
Forgive me for doing so, but I'm not going to tell you much of anything specific in terms of what happens to us in the future. I apologize for that since I know we've never been too fond of folks who talk in vague generalities. Like Doc Brown said, a man should never know too much about his own future, lest he do something to change it.
I (We? Here we go again...) am on the cusp of turning 34
years old as I write this. What I mean to say with that comment is that
so long as you don't screw up we're guaranteed to make it at least this
far in life. That's right, I'm putting this on you because it's your
responsibility. Life's pretty darn awesome right now and I'd hate for
you
to miss out on the ride.
You've come a long way and you've been through a lot. I want to start this off by reminding you that you should feel fortunate and appreciative to be where you are. You may not realize it but there are a lot of kids out there who would do anything to have as privileged a life as what you've had. That doesn't mean you should be annoyingly snooty about who you are or what you have, it means you should thank the people who support you. You haven't done it yet but someday you're going to learn the value of having worked to earn something. Above all else, show respect to your family and give thanks for what they provide you with. As you already know, the people you love won't always be there - treasure them while they are.
The years you're experiencing right now will, at times, feel like they are dragging by because you have things to which you're looking forward. Try to enjoy yourself, whatever scenario you find yourself in. You've always been a worrier and that's not a good thing. (I wish I could tell you we move past that mentality, but I'm afraid I've got some bad news; stomach cramps are in your future.) Hear me when I tell you that stressing out over things you can't change is only going to make you miss out on that which you enjoy. Those things will come - maybe not necessarily as soon as when you'd like or in the manner you expected, but you'll get there.
School is what you're focused on these days, high school specifically. As I mentioned earlier, Mrs. Courtney is everything she's billed as being. That's a good thing, though, because she and Mrs. Thompson are going to prepare you more so for college than any other educator you're going to encounter. Keep working hard, because it's nice to be in your thirties and not be living with a mountain of debt related to loans for college tuition. Buford High School will be with you, always.
Speaking of college, it's going to be a real treat and for a multitude of reasons. You're going to meet a lot of interesting people and do stuff that you can only get away with when you're in your late teens or early twenties, and that's exactly how life should be. Still, you've got a lot of work to get done - some of it's going to be important, some of it you'll look back on and see was a waste of time. I hate to say it but based on where we are now, more of it falls into the latter category. It is what it is, though, a necessary part of your evolution.
After college is where life gets a bit weird. Not that it hasn't been weird to that point, mind you, just more weird. Weirder? I guess that's the best way of putting it. Remember, I'm doing my best not to be too specific here. Weird isn't necessarily synonymous with bad although there is going to be a stretch where you question everything you've done up until then because it's going to feel like all the effort you put out hasn't been met with an equal result. (In that regard, I'll remind you that internships aren't a bad thing and
when a friend offers you a paid gig you'd be well advised to call him
back, at the very least.) That's why it's called paying your dues.
Eventually the mundane monotony gives way to an opportunity. Keep in mind that there are a lot of factors playing into the why's and the how's of your life. The world gets whacky in the future and a whole bunch of very talented, highly experience people will be going through the same thing as you young kids who are also talented but not that experienced. Your time to shine (and to prove yourself) will come, you just have to be willing to accept that your path is definitely on the scenic route of life, if you catch my drift. You could say that it meanders - on that note, do try to take good care of your knees while you're at it.
Relationships of the romantic variety will come and go, meaning you're no different than anyone else in that aspect. You're going to meet a couple real doozies that will make you wonder why you even bothered, but you're also going to meet a few that will turn into really cool friends. Despite your take on marriage being an archaic concept, there's one you'll meet that, when you get to know her, you'll know is the one. You'll make her life an adventure, and she yours.
As I write this, she and I are on another great adventure, one that we hope will lead to our family growing - potentially substantially, depending on how things shake out. It's a process that we have endured because our desire to share what we've been blessed with means a lot to us. I can't tell you how much it means for me to have the chance to be what we never truly had.
In closing, I will tell you that I don't have that many goals left in life, be they personal, professional, or whatever sits between. Take that for what you will - and no, I'm not trying to brag. I'm merely stating the truth. You've got a lot to look forward to just as I have a whole lot of fond memories that I can look back on. If this has started to come off as something of a pep talk instead of an informative letter, that's because my intention all along with this was to let you know that you're valued, you're appreciated, and you will experience greatness in your life.
Regards,
- You
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Friday, April 26, 2013
Am I Having a Mid-life Crisis?
My lifestyle has changed fairly dramatically here lately, not so much since the point in time that my wife & I were married but around a few other life events namely when we bought our house and when I changed jobs. In the past year, we've gone from renting a little shoebox of a house to owning a home with a bit of land attached. Additionally, I went from being Joe Schmoe employee at my previous workplace to being in the position of a director with my current employer. Suffice to say that those are some pretty sizable changes to the dynamic of our everyday lives, especially seeing as how we (I shouldn't speak for us - as in my wife & I - in this instance but I'm going to anyway) were settled in to our routines as they'd been consistent for several years. I don't know if it's that I haven't quite adjusted to things as they are now just yet or if what I'm experiencing is a legitimate mid-life crisis.
I looked up the medical definition of the term "mid-life crisis" online so that I'd have a better understanding of it and I'm not sure that doing so helped matters. I'm of the opinion that if you're suffering from some sort of ailment the absolute worst thing you can do is conduct research on your own via the web. My experience with having done so tells me that you stand a high probability of self-diagnosing yourself as having the worst possible outcome imaginable instead of attaining any useful understanding of what might be going on. For example, you're having headaches? Whoops, it's a brain tumor. You felt a twinge in your chest? Oh gosh, I have heart disease. You cough more than once a day? Well darn, hello emphysema. You're having a hard time kicking a cold? Too bad, you have AIDS. Maybe it's just me, though. I admit that while I do try to be an optimist I also can't deny reality and the realm of possibilities that exist.
From the perspective of psychology, a mid-life crisis refers to a state of mind which people enter into once they realize their own mortality and the potentiality for how much life they have left to live. Talk about a cheery point of view - depending no how you want to interpret that, it's either all down hill from here or the fog has lifted and the hill just got a whole lot steeper! I can't say that I've consciously spent much time dwelling on the concept that I'll soon be 33 years old, although I undoubtedly will now that I've acknowledged it publicly herein, but that seems too young to have heard life's whistle for half-time. Even though there was an era in history of humanity that 33 would've been considered old, nowadays that's quite young. For me to be exhibiting the characteristics of someone who is in a mid-life crisis is kind of rattling, to be perfectly honest with you.
So what are my symptoms? What's led me to believe that I'm in this state of mind? I mentioned the changes to my life earlier in this entry; I think I need to clarify that I'm not attempting to apply any sort of negativity to either of those aspects of my life. I love our home as it's everything we wanted and hoped for when we were shopping around the market. I also really enjoy my job - while I have a ton more responsibility than I ever have had before, it was an opportunity that I could not have turned down. I take that back, I could have turned it down and I almost did but my doing so would've only kept me from excelling professionally and from helping to make a better life for my family. Even so, the whole experience has been overwhelming at times.
The great thing about renting a house is that when something breaks or needs attention it's the landlord's responsibility to keep up the maintenance of the joint. The great thing about owning your home is that it's yours - likewise, the terrifying thing about owning your home is that it's yours. What I mean by that is if the microwave goes out, it's on us to handle it. If our water heater explodes, it's on us to handle it. If a tree in our yard topples over and damages part of the house, it's on us to handle it. Sure, you have homeowner's insurance to help with some of that, but the stressor exists in the chance that any of those scenarios could come true any day of the week and it would be up to us to deal with the consequences. That means enduring a physical and financial burden, and I will be totally honest in saying that the financial aspect is what scares me most.
I've always been a worrier and money is something I worry about more than anything. I guess it goes hand-in-hand with my status as a sufferer of buyer's remorse, another psychological issue of mine that I've tried to handle in one way or another over the years.
In terms of my job, the pressure that I feel comes from within. When I made the transition to where I am now, I left a staff of 8 to become director of a department of 1. I have no real support staff to rely on when issues arise (I say that but there are plenty of knowledgeable individuals here who could [and have] use their talents to help out), and as a result of that I can't help but dread the day that comes when there's a situation that develops which I have no idea how to deal with. The ramifications of that are huge because if I don't perform here there's no one else to be blamed but me. If I don't perform, I could lose this job. If I lose this job, where's the money going to come from to pay our mortgage and my bills? If I can't pay our mortgage or my bills, how will we ever recover?
When you boil the whole thing down, it seems as though my mentality is a product of two things: Fear of failure and worrying about things over which I ultimately have no control. To bring a different aspect of life into this discussion, I'll point out that I'm a Christian. I'm not exactly the most shining example of a man of faith but that's the amazing part of God's love - it exists as a gift we receive in spite of our imperfections. The Bible teaches that as a Christian, we are to lay our concerns before God and allow Him to carry our burdens. As much as I've tried to do that, I can't seem to let go.
Medically speaking, I'm in horrible shape. I exercise a couple times a week but my diet isn't what it should be. I'm overweight and I almost certainly have hypertension and probably high cholesterol as well. Those are guesses, as if you couldn't tell, and I use the word "probably" there because of the fact that I'm one of a whole lot of men (and more than likely a good many women) who don't particularly want to see a doctor on a regular basis unless it's absolutely necessary. The last time I saw a doctor was a couple years ago and I only went then because I had a rash which I'd attempted to treat with over the counter remedies to no avail.
Why don't I go? Partially, it's because I was in various doctor's offices a whole lot as a kid. I had to go at least once a year to a specialist about my seasonal allergies; medicine like Claritin or Allegra wasn't available without a prescription back then. On top of that, I'd go in about once a week for an injection that was supposed to help my allergies. I don't remember when but eventually I just stopped going in for the shots. I want to say I was able to get my prescriptions from a local physician instead of having to go to an allergist but I honestly don't recall the circumstances.
The other reason is my old friend fear. Fear of what the doctor is going to say is wrong with me, the fear of having something inside me that once diagnosed is going to put me on a path I'd just as soon not think about. (I've had family members and friends who've fought cancer; that's something I wouldn't want anyone to have to endure.) I don't believe anyone wants to know that they're sick. You could argue that it would be better to know if it was a serious matter as it would give you an opportunity, borrowing from a Tim McGraw song, "to live like you were dying". (That's a silly concept to me seeing as how we're all going to die someday, so we should all be living life to the fullest regardless of our own unique situations.) But isn't an awareness of your own mortality what's stated as being the primary cause behind this potential mid-life crisis of mine? What an evil cycle I've revealed, indeed.
Despite my state of mind when it comes to doctors, I've agreed to go in for an initial consultation with a physician that my wife has been seeing for quite some time now (I make it sound as if I had some sort of negotiation over the matter). Hooray, an excuse for the fact that I pay for medical insurance! I'm sure I'll get poked and prodded, and with any luck I'll get to wear one of those awesome examination gowns. Who knows, if I'm particularly lucky I may even get the old "Roto-Rooter" treatment!
Beyond seeing a doctor, what am I doing to combat this issue? I've expressed my frustrations to my wife about how I've become so focused on two things - our house and my job - that I've completely lost touch with my own personal interests. Additionally, I have next to no social life whatsoever. I'm going to make a real effort at getting back into the kinds of things I used to enjoy before, specifically my beloved video games and attending pro wrestling cards as well as concerts more often. I think that will help significantly as those are the kinds of entertainment I need, something that will take my mind away from the trappings of normalcy.
I've also got a few other things in mind that I'd like to pick up, those being hobbies that I've felt drawn to in the past but now recognize the opportunity to actually engage in them. One is buying a set of golf clubs and trying my hand at the game; I played a long time ago with my Grandfather and it seems like a sport I could get into relatively easily. I'm not saying that I'll be good at it but I'd at least like to try. The other is getting myself a bass guitar and learning to play. I've been infatuated with bass ever since I was a teenager, and I even tried to put together some money to buy a guitar back then but my parents didn't see that as a good idea so it never panned out. Again, it's something that would take some work on my part in order to develop a set of skills I don't currently have but that's the idea here, to add something to my life that will require dedication but that will also be fulfilling and enjoyable. I don't think either is necessarily a bad decision but between the two I'm leaning towards the golf clubs. Why? They would get me outside and provide some exercise whereas the bass would have me sitting around indoors. We're trying to get healthy here, after all, not worsen matters.
All things considered, am I truly that bad off? No, not really. I live in a beautiful piece of Small Town, USA with a woman that I love dearly. I'm gainfully employed. I have just about everything I've ever wanted. In the grand scheme of things, I should be as happy as a pig in slop. That's the frustrating aspect of psychological issues like a mid-life crisis, though. Sometimes you can't see the good for what's in the way, no matter how miniscule the blockade may seem to others. Giving up is the only real defeat in this set of circumstances, though, and that's something I absolutely won't do. I will adapt, I will overcome, and this will get better.
And who knows, I may start a band.
I looked up the medical definition of the term "mid-life crisis" online so that I'd have a better understanding of it and I'm not sure that doing so helped matters. I'm of the opinion that if you're suffering from some sort of ailment the absolute worst thing you can do is conduct research on your own via the web. My experience with having done so tells me that you stand a high probability of self-diagnosing yourself as having the worst possible outcome imaginable instead of attaining any useful understanding of what might be going on. For example, you're having headaches? Whoops, it's a brain tumor. You felt a twinge in your chest? Oh gosh, I have heart disease. You cough more than once a day? Well darn, hello emphysema. You're having a hard time kicking a cold? Too bad, you have AIDS. Maybe it's just me, though. I admit that while I do try to be an optimist I also can't deny reality and the realm of possibilities that exist.
From the perspective of psychology, a mid-life crisis refers to a state of mind which people enter into once they realize their own mortality and the potentiality for how much life they have left to live. Talk about a cheery point of view - depending no how you want to interpret that, it's either all down hill from here or the fog has lifted and the hill just got a whole lot steeper! I can't say that I've consciously spent much time dwelling on the concept that I'll soon be 33 years old, although I undoubtedly will now that I've acknowledged it publicly herein, but that seems too young to have heard life's whistle for half-time. Even though there was an era in history of humanity that 33 would've been considered old, nowadays that's quite young. For me to be exhibiting the characteristics of someone who is in a mid-life crisis is kind of rattling, to be perfectly honest with you.
So what are my symptoms? What's led me to believe that I'm in this state of mind? I mentioned the changes to my life earlier in this entry; I think I need to clarify that I'm not attempting to apply any sort of negativity to either of those aspects of my life. I love our home as it's everything we wanted and hoped for when we were shopping around the market. I also really enjoy my job - while I have a ton more responsibility than I ever have had before, it was an opportunity that I could not have turned down. I take that back, I could have turned it down and I almost did but my doing so would've only kept me from excelling professionally and from helping to make a better life for my family. Even so, the whole experience has been overwhelming at times.
The great thing about renting a house is that when something breaks or needs attention it's the landlord's responsibility to keep up the maintenance of the joint. The great thing about owning your home is that it's yours - likewise, the terrifying thing about owning your home is that it's yours. What I mean by that is if the microwave goes out, it's on us to handle it. If our water heater explodes, it's on us to handle it. If a tree in our yard topples over and damages part of the house, it's on us to handle it. Sure, you have homeowner's insurance to help with some of that, but the stressor exists in the chance that any of those scenarios could come true any day of the week and it would be up to us to deal with the consequences. That means enduring a physical and financial burden, and I will be totally honest in saying that the financial aspect is what scares me most.
I've always been a worrier and money is something I worry about more than anything. I guess it goes hand-in-hand with my status as a sufferer of buyer's remorse, another psychological issue of mine that I've tried to handle in one way or another over the years.
In terms of my job, the pressure that I feel comes from within. When I made the transition to where I am now, I left a staff of 8 to become director of a department of 1. I have no real support staff to rely on when issues arise (I say that but there are plenty of knowledgeable individuals here who could [and have] use their talents to help out), and as a result of that I can't help but dread the day that comes when there's a situation that develops which I have no idea how to deal with. The ramifications of that are huge because if I don't perform here there's no one else to be blamed but me. If I don't perform, I could lose this job. If I lose this job, where's the money going to come from to pay our mortgage and my bills? If I can't pay our mortgage or my bills, how will we ever recover?
When you boil the whole thing down, it seems as though my mentality is a product of two things: Fear of failure and worrying about things over which I ultimately have no control. To bring a different aspect of life into this discussion, I'll point out that I'm a Christian. I'm not exactly the most shining example of a man of faith but that's the amazing part of God's love - it exists as a gift we receive in spite of our imperfections. The Bible teaches that as a Christian, we are to lay our concerns before God and allow Him to carry our burdens. As much as I've tried to do that, I can't seem to let go.
Medically speaking, I'm in horrible shape. I exercise a couple times a week but my diet isn't what it should be. I'm overweight and I almost certainly have hypertension and probably high cholesterol as well. Those are guesses, as if you couldn't tell, and I use the word "probably" there because of the fact that I'm one of a whole lot of men (and more than likely a good many women) who don't particularly want to see a doctor on a regular basis unless it's absolutely necessary. The last time I saw a doctor was a couple years ago and I only went then because I had a rash which I'd attempted to treat with over the counter remedies to no avail.
Why don't I go? Partially, it's because I was in various doctor's offices a whole lot as a kid. I had to go at least once a year to a specialist about my seasonal allergies; medicine like Claritin or Allegra wasn't available without a prescription back then. On top of that, I'd go in about once a week for an injection that was supposed to help my allergies. I don't remember when but eventually I just stopped going in for the shots. I want to say I was able to get my prescriptions from a local physician instead of having to go to an allergist but I honestly don't recall the circumstances.
The other reason is my old friend fear. Fear of what the doctor is going to say is wrong with me, the fear of having something inside me that once diagnosed is going to put me on a path I'd just as soon not think about. (I've had family members and friends who've fought cancer; that's something I wouldn't want anyone to have to endure.) I don't believe anyone wants to know that they're sick. You could argue that it would be better to know if it was a serious matter as it would give you an opportunity, borrowing from a Tim McGraw song, "to live like you were dying". (That's a silly concept to me seeing as how we're all going to die someday, so we should all be living life to the fullest regardless of our own unique situations.) But isn't an awareness of your own mortality what's stated as being the primary cause behind this potential mid-life crisis of mine? What an evil cycle I've revealed, indeed.
Despite my state of mind when it comes to doctors, I've agreed to go in for an initial consultation with a physician that my wife has been seeing for quite some time now (I make it sound as if I had some sort of negotiation over the matter). Hooray, an excuse for the fact that I pay for medical insurance! I'm sure I'll get poked and prodded, and with any luck I'll get to wear one of those awesome examination gowns. Who knows, if I'm particularly lucky I may even get the old "Roto-Rooter" treatment!
Beyond seeing a doctor, what am I doing to combat this issue? I've expressed my frustrations to my wife about how I've become so focused on two things - our house and my job - that I've completely lost touch with my own personal interests. Additionally, I have next to no social life whatsoever. I'm going to make a real effort at getting back into the kinds of things I used to enjoy before, specifically my beloved video games and attending pro wrestling cards as well as concerts more often. I think that will help significantly as those are the kinds of entertainment I need, something that will take my mind away from the trappings of normalcy.
I've also got a few other things in mind that I'd like to pick up, those being hobbies that I've felt drawn to in the past but now recognize the opportunity to actually engage in them. One is buying a set of golf clubs and trying my hand at the game; I played a long time ago with my Grandfather and it seems like a sport I could get into relatively easily. I'm not saying that I'll be good at it but I'd at least like to try. The other is getting myself a bass guitar and learning to play. I've been infatuated with bass ever since I was a teenager, and I even tried to put together some money to buy a guitar back then but my parents didn't see that as a good idea so it never panned out. Again, it's something that would take some work on my part in order to develop a set of skills I don't currently have but that's the idea here, to add something to my life that will require dedication but that will also be fulfilling and enjoyable. I don't think either is necessarily a bad decision but between the two I'm leaning towards the golf clubs. Why? They would get me outside and provide some exercise whereas the bass would have me sitting around indoors. We're trying to get healthy here, after all, not worsen matters.
All things considered, am I truly that bad off? No, not really. I live in a beautiful piece of Small Town, USA with a woman that I love dearly. I'm gainfully employed. I have just about everything I've ever wanted. In the grand scheme of things, I should be as happy as a pig in slop. That's the frustrating aspect of psychological issues like a mid-life crisis, though. Sometimes you can't see the good for what's in the way, no matter how miniscule the blockade may seem to others. Giving up is the only real defeat in this set of circumstances, though, and that's something I absolutely won't do. I will adapt, I will overcome, and this will get better.
And who knows, I may start a band.
Friday, May 20, 2011
People of the Gym
My wife and I have been members at our local YMCA ever since the doors were opened. The objective of that last sentence being to artificially inflate the reader's perception of our experience level with this particular institution, seeing as how the YMCA of Orangeburg County has only been in operation since May of 2010. Nevertheless, we are most definitely regulars at the Y - on average we make use of the facility at least four times a week, but during the summer months that figure climbs because of the fact that we make frequent visits to the natatorium and aquatic park. The popularity of the Y being what it is (Orangeburg doesn't have much in the way of health clubs, so it was a real Godsend for something of this nature to come along) combined with our attendance rating has allowed us to encounter more than our fair share of, how you say, interesting personalities along the way. Generally speaking, I've found that gym-folk fall into one of several categories.
[SIDE NOTE: If you're familiar with my typical commentary style, with this particular topic you might be expecting me to make light of stereotypes or otherwise pigeon-hole people into personality categories which may not be entirely accurate for the sake of comedy. Congratulations, you just pigeon-holed yours beardly - welcome to the club! (Sadly, there will be no punch nor pie...)
I realize that my doing so may offend some people who take their training regimen seriously, however these are my observances and while I haven't engaged in a Freudian-esque study of personalities I feel like I've spent enough time around this particular population to have formed an educated (albeit admittedly misguided) opinion. Thus, if you should find yourself feeling unfairly categorized, I'm sorry that you can't take a joke.]
+ Athletes
This category doesn't require much in the way of exposition as they are exactly what you'd expect - men and women who either are or were at one point in their lives involved in competitive sports, and who are working in an effort to hone their abilities. They spend untold hours in the gym lifting weights and improving their cardiovascular conditioning. Their bodies are amazing examples of human achievement in the realm of physical fitness.
I have a significant respect for athletes as they've dedicated their very existence, in some cases, to a specific activity and are quite skilled in most cases. I also happen to loathe them because of the fact that I am an envious, out-of-shape, armchair-everything with self-image issues who hasn't been involved in competitive sports since youth league basketball (which was during a period in time where young players like myself were made to wear white shorts that hung just above the middle of the thigh as part of our uniforms). I was a monster back then, I tell you - a veritable Dwight Howard amongst 9 year-olds! Proof of this is the fact that my most vivid memory from my playing days was when I got a rebound on defense then proceeded to score a bucket for our opponents by taking a shot while everyone else ran to the other side of the court.
Clearly, I missed my calling.
+ Gym Rats
Not far removed from the "Athletes" category is the "Gym Rats", the primary difference being essentially their attitudes, personality, or presentation. They may or may not have, at some point in their lives, been an athlete or otherwise involved in some form of competitive play. As such, they are admirably attempting to maintain their fitness level but not necessarily hoping to improve their abilities. However, unlike athletes - who approach their workout with a sense of seriousness and near professionalism - these are people who come to the gym to work out and who want you to know that they are there to work out.
Their presence will be reasonably easy to spot. Their workout attire will typically be of designer quality, often including labels of top brands like Nike and Under Armor (shirts with chest-thumping motivational slogans are popular amongst this classification). They will be equipped with the latest and greatest of media playing devices, which will also be displayed prominently as components of their attire. The fact that most exercise rooms are adorned with mirrors (why they are a mainstay in gyms is something I've never figured out) allows them a chance to preen and posture, not only for the sake of their own egos but also to assert themselves as being an alpha amongst deltas, for lack of a better phrase.
You will hear them talking above everyone else in the room, more than likely, and the context of their conversations (held with people whom they may or may not even be acquaintances of) will involve topics such as exercise techniques, rep counts, discussion on the use and effectiveness of various dietary supplements (sometimes including the use of steroids), and almost certainly talk of how well they're doing with it all (I guess you can't knock their positivity, arrogant though it may be). Indeed, it is their gym - we just happen to be paying dues to use it.
+ The Health-Conscious
Undoubtedly the most population-dense category, the "Health-Conscious" are your average Joe's (and Jill's) who realize that they might be able to better themselves and their quality of life by engaging in a bit of regular calisthenics. There's nothing flashy or distinguishable about them as they are your typical, everyday people trying to do the best they can with what they've got. They may enlist the assistance of physical trainers in an effort to overcome their not having been involved in exercise programs previously, but they are also likely to have done their own independent research in attempting to develop an exercise routine that will benefit them.
My wife and I definitely fall into this particular group as we're both at a stage in life where we realize that we're not kids anymore and that we could enjoy what will hopefully be many years together if we make strides to improve our bodies through exercise and physical activity. I have to say that my wife has done a phenomenal job in making strides at being a more healthy individual. In addition to regularly working out, she also subscribes to Weight Watchers and their program has been an immense help to her in identifying healthy decisions as it relates to our diet. I say "our" because of the fact that she prepares most of our meals, meaning I'm kind of involved by proxy. She's been on the Weight Watchers program for around 6 months and has lost just shy of 50 pounds, which is a remarkable feat and a stellar example of willpower, needless to say.
Seeing her processes for choosing what to eat as well as what constitutes an adequate portion has made me more conscientious about the foods I eat but also how much I'm eating. I'll willfully admit to never having been encouraged in this regard during my youth as my family isn't exactly made up of what you'd call "light eaters". We're a husky bunch and while there's nothing necessarily wrong with that there are moments where I look at myself in the mirror and wish someone would've come along and slapped the bag of Doritos off my lap. But, as the Green Goblin once said, "We are who we choose to be..." - I'm responsible for myself, ultimately, and while I can't change the past I can hopefully affect the future.
+ Socialites
I have a fair amount of friends (483, according to Facebook) and I'm sure you do, too. Life would be very boring without these relationships, needless to say, and I would never encourage someone to be a social recluse (unless you're of the hermit/uni-bomber variety, then so be it) but there are occasions where people's attempts at connecting with one another can be an impediment to progress. "Progress", in this case, being the fact that I can't use the arm curl machine because you're sitting on it while you and your buddy are busy chatting each other up instead of actually doing any work. Hence the class of gym folk I've dubbed "Socialites".
"Socialites" have the potential to share characteristics with other groups. Consistent exposure to their kind will allow you to identify the differences, perhaps the most noticeable of which is that their workouts don't consist of much actual work. You may see them spend 5 minutes on an elliptical machine followed by 30 minutes yammering on to another of their ilk or some unfortunate soul who just so happened to have gotten snared in by their aura of friendliness and who doesn't have the capacity to shrug them out of their life. Therein lies their trickery; they may come off as being an "Athlete" or "Health-Conscious" when in reality they're in the gym because it allows them to work the one well-defined muscle group they have, that being about the jaw and throat.
Arguably the most annoying aspect of the "Socialite" is that they are also prone to being the sort of person who has a stubborn growth coming out one or other of their ears which extends all the way down to the corresponding hand on that side of their body. By that I mean they can't stop yakking on their precious cell phone to save their lives! The more evolved among them may have adapted to wear a Bluetooth headset, which doesn't so much improve their standing among the rest of gym-folk culture as it does make them appear to be insane seeing as how they look as if they're talking aloud to themselves (or, more accurately, the voices in their heads) 9/10's of the time.
I haven't mentioned up until now that there are a set of posted rules of use in the exercise room at the YMCA, one of them being to respect the fact that other people may want to use a piece of equipment by not treating it like it's a bar stool at the pub. (There's also one against cell phone usage, ironically enough.) The difficulty with a rule like this is that very few people genuinely want to be perceived as a douche-bag, and an attempt at enforcing this one would more than likely land you in exactly that group (at least it would in the eyes of the guilty offender whereas they might be heralded as a national hero by the rest of us). I'm assuming this is why I've never seen a member of the YMCA's staff be so forward as to encourage a patron to move along for the sake of someone else. Be that as it may, a rule that doesn't get enforced isn't a "rule" (I would settle for a mild suggestion at this point) and you shouldn't take the job if you don't want to handle the duties.
+ Hangers-On
Closely associated to the "Socialite" is the classification known as the "Hangers-On". You might say that the two have something of a symbiotic relationship as the "Hangers-On" often rely greatly upon their proximity to "Socialites" in order to gain access to the gym environment. They are hardly ever paying members, rather they make use of freebies or cheap day-passes, thus displaying their generally non-committal state of mind. For while a "Hanger-On" will exude a certain amount of dedication to their current "Socialite", they are prone to being fickle. Should they identify a more agreeable "Socialite" to which they may attach themselves in order to improve their existence, they will not hesitate to do so.
Whether or not the colored wristbands the "Hangers-On" are issued by the YMCA are for the purpose of limiting their access to certain areas of the facility or for marking them as not yet being one of us (said with a droning monotone) remains to be seen. The latter would seem to be the more likely as it would alert staff that this person is a potential client, meaning if they do their part to woo them accordingly it could wind up that this temporary visitor might decide to become a full member, thereby willingly parting with greater than $50 per month for the right to walk through the front door as they please. Of course, the "Socialite" to which they are attached may have some bearing on this decision as well; in fact, I postulate that the level of inter-dependence between the "Socialite" and "Hanger-On" in question is the determining factor. What are bros for, after all?
[SIDE NOTE: If you're familiar with my typical commentary style, with this particular topic you might be expecting me to make light of stereotypes or otherwise pigeon-hole people into personality categories which may not be entirely accurate for the sake of comedy. Congratulations, you just pigeon-holed yours beardly - welcome to the club! (Sadly, there will be no punch nor pie...)
I realize that my doing so may offend some people who take their training regimen seriously, however these are my observances and while I haven't engaged in a Freudian-esque study of personalities I feel like I've spent enough time around this particular population to have formed an educated (albeit admittedly misguided) opinion. Thus, if you should find yourself feeling unfairly categorized, I'm sorry that you can't take a joke.]
+ Athletes
This category doesn't require much in the way of exposition as they are exactly what you'd expect - men and women who either are or were at one point in their lives involved in competitive sports, and who are working in an effort to hone their abilities. They spend untold hours in the gym lifting weights and improving their cardiovascular conditioning. Their bodies are amazing examples of human achievement in the realm of physical fitness.
I have a significant respect for athletes as they've dedicated their very existence, in some cases, to a specific activity and are quite skilled in most cases. I also happen to loathe them because of the fact that I am an envious, out-of-shape, armchair-everything with self-image issues who hasn't been involved in competitive sports since youth league basketball (which was during a period in time where young players like myself were made to wear white shorts that hung just above the middle of the thigh as part of our uniforms). I was a monster back then, I tell you - a veritable Dwight Howard amongst 9 year-olds! Proof of this is the fact that my most vivid memory from my playing days was when I got a rebound on defense then proceeded to score a bucket for our opponents by taking a shot while everyone else ran to the other side of the court.
Clearly, I missed my calling.
+ Gym Rats
Not far removed from the "Athletes" category is the "Gym Rats", the primary difference being essentially their attitudes, personality, or presentation. They may or may not have, at some point in their lives, been an athlete or otherwise involved in some form of competitive play. As such, they are admirably attempting to maintain their fitness level but not necessarily hoping to improve their abilities. However, unlike athletes - who approach their workout with a sense of seriousness and near professionalism - these are people who come to the gym to work out and who want you to know that they are there to work out.
Their presence will be reasonably easy to spot. Their workout attire will typically be of designer quality, often including labels of top brands like Nike and Under Armor (shirts with chest-thumping motivational slogans are popular amongst this classification). They will be equipped with the latest and greatest of media playing devices, which will also be displayed prominently as components of their attire. The fact that most exercise rooms are adorned with mirrors (why they are a mainstay in gyms is something I've never figured out) allows them a chance to preen and posture, not only for the sake of their own egos but also to assert themselves as being an alpha amongst deltas, for lack of a better phrase.
 |
| Spot me, bro - SPOT ME! |
You will hear them talking above everyone else in the room, more than likely, and the context of their conversations (held with people whom they may or may not even be acquaintances of) will involve topics such as exercise techniques, rep counts, discussion on the use and effectiveness of various dietary supplements (sometimes including the use of steroids), and almost certainly talk of how well they're doing with it all (I guess you can't knock their positivity, arrogant though it may be). Indeed, it is their gym - we just happen to be paying dues to use it.
+ The Health-Conscious
Undoubtedly the most population-dense category, the "Health-Conscious" are your average Joe's (and Jill's) who realize that they might be able to better themselves and their quality of life by engaging in a bit of regular calisthenics. There's nothing flashy or distinguishable about them as they are your typical, everyday people trying to do the best they can with what they've got. They may enlist the assistance of physical trainers in an effort to overcome their not having been involved in exercise programs previously, but they are also likely to have done their own independent research in attempting to develop an exercise routine that will benefit them.
My wife and I definitely fall into this particular group as we're both at a stage in life where we realize that we're not kids anymore and that we could enjoy what will hopefully be many years together if we make strides to improve our bodies through exercise and physical activity. I have to say that my wife has done a phenomenal job in making strides at being a more healthy individual. In addition to regularly working out, she also subscribes to Weight Watchers and their program has been an immense help to her in identifying healthy decisions as it relates to our diet. I say "our" because of the fact that she prepares most of our meals, meaning I'm kind of involved by proxy. She's been on the Weight Watchers program for around 6 months and has lost just shy of 50 pounds, which is a remarkable feat and a stellar example of willpower, needless to say.
Seeing her processes for choosing what to eat as well as what constitutes an adequate portion has made me more conscientious about the foods I eat but also how much I'm eating. I'll willfully admit to never having been encouraged in this regard during my youth as my family isn't exactly made up of what you'd call "light eaters". We're a husky bunch and while there's nothing necessarily wrong with that there are moments where I look at myself in the mirror and wish someone would've come along and slapped the bag of Doritos off my lap. But, as the Green Goblin once said, "We are who we choose to be..." - I'm responsible for myself, ultimately, and while I can't change the past I can hopefully affect the future.
+ Socialites
I have a fair amount of friends (483, according to Facebook) and I'm sure you do, too. Life would be very boring without these relationships, needless to say, and I would never encourage someone to be a social recluse (unless you're of the hermit/uni-bomber variety, then so be it) but there are occasions where people's attempts at connecting with one another can be an impediment to progress. "Progress", in this case, being the fact that I can't use the arm curl machine because you're sitting on it while you and your buddy are busy chatting each other up instead of actually doing any work. Hence the class of gym folk I've dubbed "Socialites".
"Socialites" have the potential to share characteristics with other groups. Consistent exposure to their kind will allow you to identify the differences, perhaps the most noticeable of which is that their workouts don't consist of much actual work. You may see them spend 5 minutes on an elliptical machine followed by 30 minutes yammering on to another of their ilk or some unfortunate soul who just so happened to have gotten snared in by their aura of friendliness and who doesn't have the capacity to shrug them out of their life. Therein lies their trickery; they may come off as being an "Athlete" or "Health-Conscious" when in reality they're in the gym because it allows them to work the one well-defined muscle group they have, that being about the jaw and throat.
Arguably the most annoying aspect of the "Socialite" is that they are also prone to being the sort of person who has a stubborn growth coming out one or other of their ears which extends all the way down to the corresponding hand on that side of their body. By that I mean they can't stop yakking on their precious cell phone to save their lives! The more evolved among them may have adapted to wear a Bluetooth headset, which doesn't so much improve their standing among the rest of gym-folk culture as it does make them appear to be insane seeing as how they look as if they're talking aloud to themselves (or, more accurately, the voices in their heads) 9/10's of the time.
I haven't mentioned up until now that there are a set of posted rules of use in the exercise room at the YMCA, one of them being to respect the fact that other people may want to use a piece of equipment by not treating it like it's a bar stool at the pub. (There's also one against cell phone usage, ironically enough.) The difficulty with a rule like this is that very few people genuinely want to be perceived as a douche-bag, and an attempt at enforcing this one would more than likely land you in exactly that group (at least it would in the eyes of the guilty offender whereas they might be heralded as a national hero by the rest of us). I'm assuming this is why I've never seen a member of the YMCA's staff be so forward as to encourage a patron to move along for the sake of someone else. Be that as it may, a rule that doesn't get enforced isn't a "rule" (I would settle for a mild suggestion at this point) and you shouldn't take the job if you don't want to handle the duties.
+ Hangers-On
Closely associated to the "Socialite" is the classification known as the "Hangers-On". You might say that the two have something of a symbiotic relationship as the "Hangers-On" often rely greatly upon their proximity to "Socialites" in order to gain access to the gym environment. They are hardly ever paying members, rather they make use of freebies or cheap day-passes, thus displaying their generally non-committal state of mind. For while a "Hanger-On" will exude a certain amount of dedication to their current "Socialite", they are prone to being fickle. Should they identify a more agreeable "Socialite" to which they may attach themselves in order to improve their existence, they will not hesitate to do so.
Whether or not the colored wristbands the "Hangers-On" are issued by the YMCA are for the purpose of limiting their access to certain areas of the facility or for marking them as not yet being one of us (said with a droning monotone) remains to be seen. The latter would seem to be the more likely as it would alert staff that this person is a potential client, meaning if they do their part to woo them accordingly it could wind up that this temporary visitor might decide to become a full member, thereby willingly parting with greater than $50 per month for the right to walk through the front door as they please. Of course, the "Socialite" to which they are attached may have some bearing on this decision as well; in fact, I postulate that the level of inter-dependence between the "Socialite" and "Hanger-On" in question is the determining factor. What are bros for, after all?
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