Wrestlemania 29 - My Picks vs. Reality

Wrestlemania 29 has come and gone, and it seems as though a lot of the IWC (or Internet Wrestling Community, for those of you not in the know - which included me until I looked up that acronym just moments ago) aren't exactly thrilled with the outcomes of the matches. It seems as though WM29 is being looked at as one of the more disappointing Wrestlemania cards of all time and I can't say that I necessarily disagree with that opinion. There were very few surprises coming out of World Wrestling Entertainment's biggest event of the year, which would seemingly continue WWE's progression towards going with storylines & angles which favor maintaining the marketability of the product over taking chances with innovative possibilities. This is where professional wrestling as a form of performance art gets tampered with by stockholders and bean counters. That said, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon just ran an event that drew over 80,000 attendees, generated more than 12 million pay-per-view buys and who runs a billion-dollar industry. Meanwhile, I'm just a guy with a blog - I'll defer to the man who could use $100 bills as toilet paper as opposed to trying to convince anyone that I know better, at least in this context.

As for my WM29 picks, I'd say that I did well overall, finishing with a record of 6-2.  There was one match which I did not pick as a result of it having been added to the pre-show card after I'd published my previous entry, that being the Miz vs. Wade Barrett for Barrett's Intercontinental Championship. Miz defeated Barrett for the title; he's been on an intense climb as of late, and had I been aware of that match prior to releasing my blog with picks I'd have definitely chosen him as the winner. I won't be so bold as to retcon my picks, though, so my record for WM29 shall hold strong at 6-2.

There was another match added to the card after I'd made my predictions in the form an inter-gender 8-person tag team match: Brodus Clay, Tensai & the Funk-adactyls vs. Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes and the Bella Twins. However, this bout wound up getting bumped off the card at the last minute. I'm not sure if it was because of time restrictions or what exactly but I hate it for all those involved. Performing at Wrestlemania is a dream for every professional wrestler and I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have the rug yanked out from under you in such a way as that. To make matters worse is the fact that WWE, despite having promoted the match in advance of WM29, appears to now be attempting to scrub it from ever having been a part of their planning as all mentions of it have been removed from content associated with the event.

At any rate, here are the full results from WM29 with my remarks tacked onto the matches I failed to correctly project.

1) The Miz def. Wade Barrett to win the Intercontinental Championship

2) The Shield def. Sheamus, Randy Orton & Big Show

3) Mark Henry def. Ryback

If you look back at my predictions, I mentioned the fact that having Mark Henry win here would do a lot towards elevating him as a top heel seeing as how Ryback, up until WM29, had been on a tear. The fact that WWE saw fit to put over Henry in a decisive manner means that he's in someone's good graces at this point in time; I would hope that he is because Henry really has been turning in some quality performances over the past year and looks like a legitimate monster. While Henry hopefully has many more good years of competing in him, I would say that the time is now for Mark seeing as how he's on the verge of his 42nd birthday. Pro wrestling, much like any pro sport, is a young man's game. Mark has shown repeatedly that he's not bulletproof and his being up there in age won't help matters.

I would say that Ryback is due for some repackaging. He just does not come off to me as a guy for whom the fans should be cheering. I would say he could benefit greatly from being taken under the wing of a manager, handler or mouthpiece but those are roles WWE doesn't seem keen on filling these days and that's a real shame. There was a point in time where a guy like Ryback who has obviously tremendous physical gifts could go farther with their potential by being paired up with a great manager. I'm not sure when managers became a bad thing but regardless of that Ryback is a prime example of a guy who could go from being just another ticked-off meat head to a real villain just by giving him a dastardly ally to play off of and rely upon to make the crowd hate them both.

4) Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan) def. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship

5) Fandago def. Chris Jericho

6) Alberto Del Rio def. Jack Swagger to retain the World Championship

7) The Undertaker def. CM Punk

8) HHH def. Brock Lesnar

I'm not surprised at how this match ended. To think that Hunter would ever have someone like Brock Lesnar be the one to retire him was a mistake on my part, however I will say that it seemed like a decent potentiality at the time. Helmsley is an executive within the upper ranks of WWE management now, meaning his in-ring career as a wrestler isn't his sole focus anymore. There will come a point in time where he hangs up his boots, but that time isn't here yet.

Brock Lesnar is left without much direction coming out of this match. He and Hunter have been at each other for quite some time now, and as a result of their feud seemingly coming to an end Brock is - well, Brock is left without a dancing partner, at least not one that naturally springs to mind. I've seen some rumors floating around that WWE is interested in having Brock feud with The Rock in the future, but that shouldn't be taken as anymore more than pure speculation for now.

9) John Cena def. The Rock to win the WWE Championship

WrestleMania 29 Predictions

It's that time of year again - WrestleMania weekend. A weekend during which professional wrestling fans from across the globe flock to the site of an annual event that will either leave them completely floored by how awesome the whole thing was or wondering why in the world they spent so much money on being a part of it all. I'm fairly certain I'd fall into the latter category. Seriously, I love pro wrestling (well, most of the time) but my status as a sufferer of buyer's remorse causes me to go into a state of shock when considering the financial ramifications of attending WrestleMania.

First and foremost, you've got to have tickets to the event. The face value price range for WM29 tickets starts at a fairly modest $49.50 (including taxes & vendor fees), however I think it's safe to assume that those seats will have you watching the show from a distance so far from the ring that you might be able to high-five the crew of the International Space Station. (By comparison, it'll cost you $69.95 to watch WM29 at home via pay-per-view in high definition.) The cost of tickets goes up from there with the most expensive ones being a select group at ringside which are valued at $2,000. Yes, you read that right - 2 grand per ticket (my wife's engagement ring and wedding band cost me just a smidge over that), but on the plus side you get to keep your chair from the show as a bonus. If you figure in other factors such as airfare, cab fare or rental car fees, a hotel stay, food, etc. I would hazard a guess that you're probably looking at a list of expenditures that will set you back between $1,500-2,000. If you treated this as a vacation that might not be such a bad thing. I can't say that I wouldn't consider it, however given that I could spend less money and do something like take a cruise for example I'd more than likely take the cruise - even with the probability of the boat breaking down being at an all-time high right now.

As of this writing, there are 8 matches on the card which, of course, is subject to change. At this point, the Intercontinental, United States, and Divas championships are not scheduled to be defended - I do not expect them to be included on the card unless, that is, they wind up getting added to a pre-show, if that even happens. I think that should give you a real idea as to how important those titles are viewed as being within the realm of existence that is the WWE Universe. Unfortunately the Divas division is paper-thin right now and the two mid-card titleholders - Wade Barrett (IC) and Antonio Cesaro (US) - seem to be perceived as the best enhancement talent available for guys on the upper-tier.

All that said, here are my winning picks for the matches to be featured in WM29. "Winning" meaning that I'm so certain of these outcomes that you could certainly put money on each of them and expect a return on your investment because I think there are a few sports books out there that actually allow lines on an event like this. In all seriousness, if you are a person equipped with enough disposable income that you'd put a bet on a pro wrestling match I would encourage you to instead send that money to me. I promise to do something important with it, like pay my property taxes or take my wife out to a nice steak dinner and not something totally frivolous like buying a fainting goat or getting an absurd tattoo (a pig with wings wearing a tiara and Crocs, for example).

- Ryback vs. Mark Henry

This is the match I have the least amount of interest in. Why? It's more or less just here for the sake of putting two big brutes against one another - there's nothing all that organic about it, in other words.

Ryback is essentially a less charismatic version of Goldberg wearing Rob Van Dam's gear. He's been presented as a good guy but to be honest he carries out the part more like a villain. I don't think he has it in him to make Ryback out to be a likeable character. On the other hand, I do like Mark Henry; his character has shifted from being a buffoon to a monster and he's been able to do great things since the change. Henry's been with WWE for almost 17 years and this is the first time I've ever expected great things out of him. That may be asking too much here, unfortunately, given who he's working with.

I'm trying to think logically when picking a winner in this match but WWE and logic go together like mashed potatoes and strawberry jelly; that being a palatable product but not what you were most hoping for. Henry could use the win seeing as how it would elevate him into a position where he could feud with John Cena, Rocky, or anyone else seeing as how there aren't many other top-tier villains right now. Ryback has been something of a work in progress for a while, though, and I don't see him losing.

Projected Winner: Ryback

- Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Not every wrestling fan is aware of this but WWE maintains what amounts to a farm system similar to what Major League Baseball does through associations with minor league franchises. It's essentially a training program for wrestlers WWE have recognized as being potential stars which works to mold them into talent fit for the main roster. Just because you're a member of WWE developmental doesn't eventually guarantee you a spot on RAW or Smackdown, though. Sometimes things don't pan out, and sometimes a guy will spend years in training before getting an opportunity to move up. Such is the case with Fandango.

The Fandango character is that of a flamboyant and extremely arrogant ballroom dancer; think one of the professional trainers from Dancing With the Stars if they had the most ridiculously inflated ego imaginable. Before he was Fandango he was Johnny Curtis, and Johnny Curtis was in WWE developmental for right at 7 years - a fact that blows a lot of observers minds seeing as how he's known as a truly talented guy (he won one of the seasons of WWE's NXT program when that show was still featured as a competition instead of the stand-alone show that it is now). In all that time, this is the best gimmick the creative minds in WWE could come up with for him.

All I can say is that it's a good thing Chris Jericho hasn't retired yet. He's one of few veterans WWE has around who can not only make Fandango look like a legitimate competitor but who doesn't mind putting over a young talent like Fandango for the sake of furthering the product. This will be one of the better matches on the card, even though it will be one of the least hyped.

Projected Winner: Fandango

- WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan) (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston w/AJ Lee

Tag team wrestling has become an often ignored element of WWE's programming in recent years. Gone are the days of tag teams like the British Bulldogs, Demolition, the Midnight Express and so many others - nowadays the idea is to throw two guys together at random and work out the details as they unfold. (It's the Lethal Weapon approach to tag team formatting, if you will.) Such is the case with this match as we're dealing with 4 individuals whose personalities have no natural attraction to one another.

Kane and Daniel Bryan have been engaged in the Team Hell No gimmick for what seems like forever. It's been an entertaining run for the both of them but you kind of get the feeling that it's grown stale. At the same time, Dolp Ziggler and Big E Langston are a fairly fresh pairing, with Langston more or less being the Virgil to Dolph's Million Dollar Man.

The wildcard in this scenario is the fact that Ziggler holds the Money in the Bank contract, which allows him to challenge the World Heavyweight Champion at any point in time - he only has until roughly the middle of July to cash it in, though, as the opportunity must be used within one calendar year or else it's nullified (he won it July 15, 2012). As much as I like Dolph, I don't think WWE is going to hand the belts to him & Big E if he's potentially about to feud with the WHC.

Projected Winners: Team Hell No

- Six-Man Tag Team Match: Sheamus, Randy Orton & Big Show vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns)

Here we have a feud that's been built out of a necessity to get the top stars in the company on the biggest show of the year. Sheamus, Orton and Big Show are all main-event stars who've had significant roles at WM in the past. By contrast you have Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns, three members of the roster who've made a name for themselves via their roguish actions but are still definitely on the rise.

In predicting a match like this, you have to try and take a long-term perspective on things. What happens if The Shield loses? To me, they're dead in the water - not to say they couldn't pick up steam again but having them lose now would be a major hit to their progression, as a group and as individuals. What happens if Sheamus, Orton & Big Show lose? Suddenly two good guys (well, one good guy - Sheamus - and one guy who could go either way at any point in time - Orton) and a villain have a reason to feud with one another. There's more to be gained from a creative standpoint from them losing than The Shield.

Projected Winners: The Shield

- No Holds Barred: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman (added stipulation that if Triple H loses he must retire)

This match is the culmination of a feud that's almost a year in the making, which is something of a recurring theme for WM29 seeing as how Cena & Rocky have been going back and forth with each other for at least that long (more on that later). Between the two builds, I have to say I'm looking more forward to seeing how this one pans out.

Lesnar, as a pro wrestler, is still climbing out of a deep hole in my opinion. I still remember his send-off match at WrestleMania 20 against Goldberg and how much of a disaster it was. The match was a poor payoff involving two guys who, at the time, were huge stars and it was also proof that neither one of them cared enough about what they were doing in the moment to make the match what it could've been. Afterwards, both of them seemingly disappeared; Goldberg retired and Lesnar went off to pursue his various other interests. Now, having exhausted those outlets, Lesnar's back in WWE, working a schedule that makes him a part-time member of the roster at best.

Is Lesnar the guy to retire HHH? That's the real question here, and it's a matter of ego versus ego in the grand scheme of things. Is Hunter satisfied enough with his in-ring career that he is willing to let this be his swan song or does he want to leave things open so that he could have another go-round? If this is the end for Hunter, and I think it should be, he has done everything one could possibly do in the business of professional wrestling. There is literally nothing else he could do to further solidify his legacy. It's time to put down the sledgehammer, once and for all.

Projected Winner: Brock Lesnar

- CM Punk vs. The Undertaker

There were rumors posted on pro wrestling news websites for months that at WM29 CM Punk would challenge the Undertaker and his perfect WrestleMania winning streak of 20-0. Punk was WWE Champion then, and it seemed like only a matter of time before he'd be dethroned by either Rock or Cena so that those two men would be able to use the title as a feudal point. So it was that Punk would lose the WWE title to Rock earlier this year at the Royal Rumble, setting all the pieces in place for Rock to face Cena and Punk to face the Dead Man.

While it sounds great on paper, there wasn't a natural transition from Punk having been WWE champion for more than a year to suddenly going after Undertaker's streak. Then, tragically, Undertaker's legendary manager Paul Bearer passed away and suddenly Punk, one of the greatest villains in pro wrestling history, had a means to assault the Undertaker on a level so dastardly it made many (even within the confines of WWE) question whether or not having him do so was in good taste.

Having Punk use Bearer's death as a means to make his feud with Taker more organic may come off as a disrespectful maneuver, but I think it's a very powerful tribute to the man himself. Bearer was a brilliant manager and he would've understood that this is all ultimately about making the show better. The developments that have occurred in the weeks since Bearer's death have made Punk vs. Undertaker a much grander spectacle than it would've been otherwise.

I think it's a safe assumption that when Undertaker's streak ends, so too will his career. Could it be this year? Could CM Punk be the 1 in 20-1? I highly doubt it. This will be an epic match but it won't be the last time we see the Phenom in action.

Projected Winner: The Undertaker

- World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger w/Zeb Coulter

Jack Swagger is one of the more gifted athletes WWE has in their employ. He's a former All-American amateur wrestler, having garnered much attention for his collegiate career at the University of Oklahoma. His WWE career has been interesting, to say the least. He's been the ECW champion, United States champion, and World Heavyweight champion but he'd been noticeably absent since September of last year. He returned in February sporting a new attitude (which is more or less a mash-up of extreme Libertarian political views) and flanked by a manager/mouthpiece in the form of Zeb Coulter (who's perhaps better known as Dutch Mantell).

In between Swagger's return to competition and now, he was pulled over for speeding. When the officer involved searched his vehicle he was found to be in possession of marijuana and other drug-related paraphernalia. Swagger was arrested and charged with driving under the influence. This turn of events lead many to believe it might result in his being fired or otherwise buried (wrestling terminology for someone being demoted from a position of prominence). Fortunately for him, the push towards his facing Alberto Del Rio was already in play and it seems to have saved him from what likely would've been a major hiccup in his advancement - for the time being, anyway.

Alberto Del Rio has recently made a transition from villain to good guy. It hasn't exactly been the smoothest move in the history of the business as ADR had become one of the top bad guys around. There was no obvious inspiration for his character to change which made the shift feel clunky and forced. What's worse is that the feud with Swagger hasn't exactly set the wrestling world on fire. The whole thing stands to likely come out as a wash in the end with Swagger getting reprimanded in some way, shape or form and ADR moving on to whoever's next.

Projected Winner: Alberto Del Rio

- WWE Championship: The Rock (c) vs. John Cena

When Rock and Cena faced off last year at WM28, it was a matched billed as being "once in a lifetime". So much for that, I guess.

Having this match as the main event at WM29 is WWE's way of betting on a sure thing. This is a match that guarantees them mainstream attention. In one corner you've got John Cena - the face of the company, has been for a solid decade, isn't going anywhere any time soon. In the other corner you've got Rock - a hugely popular professional wrestler from the "attitude" era who's successfully transitioned into being a household name thanks to his having been embraced by Hollywood as a bankable action star. It's the kind of match that makes a man like Vince McMahon salivate at the mere thought of the thing.

To me, it's a fairly dull combination that has very little allure or mystique to it. Rock is a part-timer at most these days. He's an actor now, not a wrestler. As soon as he's done promoting GI JOE: Retaliation he'll vanish and won't be seen or heard from again on WWE programming until he needs to promote something else. That's not fair to the fans or the business, in my opinion.

John Cena will walk out of WM29 as the WWE Champion. He's the most consistent thing WWE has had throughout the modern era and there's a large chunk of the fanbase (read, women and children) that will flock to him no matter how repetitious he and his work may be. It only makes sense that he takes the belt from Rock because, as I said previously, Rock goes back to making movies when this show is over and done with.

If it sounds like I'm sour to the whole arrangement, that's very observant on your part. Quite frankly, I'm not a huge fan of either of these guys nor do I particularly care for the angle.

Projected Winner: John Cena