Friday, March 20, 2015

WrestleMania 31 Predictions

We are roughly a week away from WrestleMania 31 as of this writing and I can honestly tell you that I am cautiously optimistic about how the card for this particular edition of "the showcase of the immortals" will turn out. This is in light of the fact that if you go back and look at an entry to this here blog that I published back in January (click here to read "My Still-Way-Too-Early-to-Tell WrestleMania 31 Predictions") wherein I attempted at that point in time to predict the card for WM31 you'll find that I turned out to be a half-assed prognosticator at best. I successfully predicted 5 of the 8 matches on the card, but they were the 5 obvious ones so I'm not even going to go so far as to claim a moral victory on that effort.


Looking at the official card for WM31, there were a few surprises that I did not see coming, namely the decision to feature the Intercontinental title in a ladder match that will likely be the "HOLY CRAP, DID YOU SEE THAT?!" portion of the show. I imagine it will be like the Money in the Bank match used to be before it was removed from WM cards in order to become the subject of its own pay-per-view in that it includes a whole bunch of athletic, super-talented competitors who don't mind getting into a train wreck every once in a while. I was glad to see that the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal is being brought back; it won't be a match with any consequence outside of the show, however it's an opportunity for someone to possibly break out as a talent to watch in the next few months. The Divas being in a tag team match as opposed to there being a match for the title makes me believe WWE didn't think a one-on-one match would've been anything other than a restroom break for a majority of the audience. Chances are it will still be a restroom break for most fans because the Divas division has been awfully stale for the past 4-5 months (which coincides with Nikki Bella's reign as champion, oddly enough). I am genuinely upset that the tag team division isn't on the card as it seemed as though there was momentum in building up that aspect of the roster that has now completely vanished. (Anyone seen the Ascension lately?) It's troubling because, for the life of me, I don't know why tag teams don't get a fair shake anymore.

Be that as it may, now that we know the full card for WM31 (other than whatever may take place during the pre-show, that is - assuming there is a pre-show, of course), lets revisit things and make a final set of predictions for WWE's biggest event of the year.

1) Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Participants: The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater and Mark Henry

I half way hate to say this seeing as how I want to think the Andre Memorial is supposed to mean something, but I look at that line-up and I can't think of anything especially noteworthy that's happened for more than half the names listed there in the past year. That's how Battle Royals tend to me, though; you've got a match where 95% of the talent involved have zero chance of winning plus 3-5 participants who should logically blow all the others out of the water.

What's interesting about this assemblage is that there's a chance several storylines could be conveniently tied up or extended during the course of the match. Curtis Axel and Ryback were tag team partners at one point (Ryback has also been tied to Erik Rowan ever since the 2014 Survivor Series); similarly, Titus O'Neil and Darren Young just recently reformed the Prime Time Players. Kane and Big Show have been in an uneasy alliance with the Authority lately, and Mark Henry has lately drawn the ire of both men. The Miz and Damien Mizdow haven't seen eye to eye ever since Mizdow became a bona fide fan favorite. Everyone else in the match - Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Sin Cara, Goldust, and Heath Slater - is there as filler in my opinion, but at least they'll get a nice payday.

I am going with this man as my predicted winner because I think the fans in attendance would all lose their minds if the match is executed properly and he were to win.

PREDICTION: Damien Mizdow

2) AJ Lee & Paige vs. The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie)

There's been something of a women's rights movement within a segment of the WWE fanbase as of late stemming from comments made by several of the WWE Divas and how they should be respected, treated, etc. as their male counterparts on the roster are. The hashtag "Give Divas A Chance" became a thing just long enough for it to seem like WWE cared, but here we have this match that (in my eyes) tells me they had to put two of their best Divas (that being AJ Lee & Paige) in there with the Bellas just to counteract the level of suck that Nikki & Brie will introduce. I can't help but feel like this is an extension of something to do with the Total Divas show on the E! network, which is why I'm going to go ahead and say that the Bellas will win.

PREDICTION: The Bella Twins

3) Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match

Participants: Wade Barrett (C), Dean Ambrose, Stardust, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth, Luke Harper

There is so much talent involved in this match that it blows my mind R-Truth somehow got involved. Seriously, R-Truth? Why? True, the guy has been gainfully employed since 1999 by either WWE or TNA, but having him involved makes no logical sense. Of course I say that yet if you were to ask me to name someone else on the main roster that could've taken that spot (who isn't either injured or involved in an angle that would preclude their participation; i.e., Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, Sheamus, etc.) no one comes directly to mind with the exception of Goldust, and I think the only way his inclusion would've benefited the show is if he or Stardust were set to win the title. That would've been a great way to extend their feud, which is now dead in the water.

As it stands, I feel like whoever wins the IC title is going to do great things in elevating that championship, which has been woefully ignored for far too long. There are a lot of possibilities that can come from these men feuding with one another, but only time will tell where they go from here.

PREDICTION: Dean Ambrose

4) United States Championship Match - Rusev (C) vs. John Cena

In talking about professional wrestling, critics and smart marks like to talk about how someone either does or does not need to win because of how it can affect storylines relating to them. Even though some want to say that wins and losses don't matter these days, the truth of the matter is that they do (and they always will) because they affect our perception of how good or bad a wrestler's abilities are in the context of the angle they're involved. For example, last year at WM30 when Brock Lesnar defeated the Undertaker, Lesnar - who was already thought of as a monster - suddenly became this whole other thing in terms of him being thought of as a beast because of the fact he beat the Dead Man. In this instance you would likely find that a lot of observers feel John Cena doesn't need to win this match because of the fact he's John Cena - the man is one world title reign away from tying that of Rick Flair, for crying out loud. He should be used here to help further elevate Rusev, who's been a real tear here lately and who could be a very useful commodity in the coming year.

PREDICTION: Rusev

5) Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

When I originally wrote up my thoughts on where this match would go I talked about how a win for Orton would be a great way to finish off a feud that's been ongoing since November of 2014. The Viper being victorious wouldn't necessarily derail Seth Rollins seeing as how he's still able to direct his own destiny so long as he holds the Money in the Bank briefcase. Even so, I can easily see how the script might get flipped here and Rollins wins the match, and in convincing fashion without the assistance of anyone from the Authority being involved, thus making him into a legitimate contender in the future with or without the MitB contract. I'm sticking with my gut, though, and hanging by my original prediction of Orton getting the victory.

PREDICTION: Randy Orton

6) Sting vs. HHH

Of all the matches on the WM31 card, this one has my attention more so than any other. It's a match that is decades in the making. Sting - the legend, the icon, the stalwart representative of World Championship Wrestling who never left that company, even as it withered and died - now finally set to make his debut in a match for WWE. I honestly never thought I'd see the day, but if I have learned anything from watching professional wrestling for as long as I have it's that you should never say never.

There aren't many men left in the business who could serve as a quality opponent for a man like Sting, and one of them has a match on this same show with Bray Wyatt. Triple H is an old wily veteran who knows everything there is to know about ring psychology and what it means to tell a story inside of a wrestling ring. I am hoping this lives up to my expectations because, truth be told, they're pretty doggone high at this point.

PREDICTION: Sting

7) Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker

When Bray Wyatt lost to John Cena at WM30, his character literally had to be relaunched because the defeat left Wyatt at a point where he had nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to feud with. In the time since then he's mostly bumped around between his old charges, Luke Harper & Erik Rowan, and Dean Ambrose. Despite how uninvolved that may make him sound, the truth of the matter is that he's been able to capture the minds of anyone who watches him through some of the most stellar development anyone has brought to WWE programming in ages. Wyatt's promos in building this feud with the Undertaker have been nothing short of amazing, and they've mostly had to be thanks to the fact that Taker has been kept off TV - some say because of business, some say because he's not in the shape he once was. Regardless, this match strikes me as a turning point for both men. I don't know that either of them can take losing at WrestleMania two years in a row.

I predicted this man would win back in January. While I have some concerns over that selection I'm not going to deviate from it.

PREDICTION: The Undertaker

8) Brock Lesnar (C) (w/Paul Heyman) vs. Roman Reigns

This match has shown me a number of reasons why I hate the internet and what it's done to professional wrestling. Why? Because for weeks now all the talk surrounding it has been about one of two things: 1) Whether or not Brock is going to renew his contract with WWE or go back to UFC, or 2) how Reigns is terrible at anything other than looking like a greasy, long-haired tough guy while walking down stairs. Sometimes conversations around the match bring up a bit of both, but the fact remains that's all anyone's seemingly been wanting to talk about. The internet has made it infinitely worse because no one would know of Lesnar potentially wanting to skip town if not for it, and Reigns wouldn't be seen in nearly the negative light that he is if not for the fact that every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a cell phone can chime in on social media with their uniquely idiotic perspective on the matter.

Don't get me wrong, to an extent insider knowledge is fun. Here, for this contest, it's taken so much away from the actual match that I more or less just want it to be over so that we can move on to whatever's coming next. It all depends on what Lesnar's intentions are, which is rather startling seeing as how he could leave with the WWE world heavyweight championship and create such chaos that the ramifications of it would be felt for years if not decades to come. That could certainly happen, and Lesnar would be the only one to say whether or not that's what's going down, but I think he's smart enough to know doing a job isn't the end of the world.

PREDICTION: Roman Reigns

One of the things about this time of year that comes around just as regularly as WrestleMania itself is the thinning of the WWE roster. Many years ago I read in a book how wrestling promoters tended to run their product much like how a television series does in that they treated them as seasons with a beginning, middle, and end. For WWE, WrestleMania signals the end of the current season and the start of the next one. With that in mind, you can see how this becomes the appropriate time of year to let go talent that aren't viewed as being worth keeping around. I think we could be in for a deeper cull than usual this year as there is a wealth of talent under WWE's employ that aren't exactly going anywhere anytime soon.

Overall I'd say this stands to be an entertaining installment to the WM mythology. You've got legends, you've got brutality, and you've got a ton of unanswered questions many of which will likely still be unanswered after the show is over. Even so, it'll be as big an event as anyone in the world of wrestling has produced (well, since New Japan Pro-Wrestling's WrestleKingdom 9 event, anyway), and worthy of your attention. Until then, watch this trailer and imagine all the possibilities!

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