May 22, 2013
8:47 PM - I'm having my sleep study done at Lexington Sleep Solutions, which is part of the Lexington Medical Center in Lexington, SC. (With this blog entry, I think I'll meet my lifetime quota for usage of the word "Lexington".) They sent me a patient information packet and questionnaire in the mail a week or so ago and I'm just now getting around to filling it all out. It's fairly basic stuff - medical history, family data, next of kin, insurance providers, that sort of thing. One question caught my attention as being too absurd not to single out.
"Do you suffer from memory loss issues?" with the possible answers being "Yes", "No", and "I Don't Know".
This might just be me, but wouldn't a response of "I Don't Know" to that question equate with a "Yes"? I believe it would, although it might also indicate some other form of psychosis.
May 23, 2013
7:56 PM - Packing my bag, it's like I'm 8 years old and getting ready for a sleep over except I'm not going to stay with a friend, I'm going to sleep in a strange room on a bed that God only knows who has occupied previously. I have a change of clothes, pajamas, toiletries, my camera (You didn't think I was going to go through something like this and not document it, did you?), cell phone charger, and my tablet. I have my tablet because I'm assuming they have WiFi - I'm going to be a bit disappointed if they don't. Gas stations have WiFi, why wouldn't a medical office like this? How am I supposed to get by without Facebook, Twitter and YouTube? This isn't the Dark Ages, for crying out loud.
I mention my pajamas. This is getting into "too much information" territory, but I usually don't sleep fully clothed. I'm not naked but I'm not too far from it (go ahead and feel free to savor that mental image). I don't think I can get away with that for this test, lest I lose what tiny piece of modesty I have left, so I'm hoping the extra clothing doesn't throw me off too badly in terms of getting to sleep.
May 24, 2013
5:50 AM - I did not sleep well last night. Go figure, right?
I usually have to get up to use the restroom 2 or 3 times and last night was a 3-tripper. I've read that going to the bathroom at night for men is supposed to be some kind of a sign of prostate issues but for me I think it's natural seeing as how I drink a good bit of water before I go to bed. What can I say, I like a cool beverage in the evening and water's certainly better for me than soda, alcohol or anything else. That fluid's got to go somewhere and the urge to relieve myself is something I can only hold off for so long.
Enough about my nocturnal urination habits; I'm sure that's probably more than you ever wanted to know about my nightly pee-pee dances.
Aside from the bathroom trips, I was generally restless last night. My wife & I laid down around 11 PM, which is slightly later than usual for us, but we wound up talking and kidding with one another for almost an hour. I'd tickle her, she'd tickle me, I'd tickle her some more, she'd pitch a fit for me to stop and I never do because I'm her husband - it's my job to make her giggle uncomfortably until she snorts while laughing. We really are like a couple of children when we're together in moments like that. Consequently, I had a burst of energy come on around midnight and I don't think I truly got to sleep until near 12:30 AM only to be woken up with my first need to go to the bathroom around 1:45 AM.
My wife didn't sleep well either. When I woke up for good this morning I realized I was in bed by myself. I hate to think that I could cause her to suffer in any way.
Concern about the sleep study never entered my mind. In the realm of medical testing this isn't something that's all that involved, or so it seems to me. I'm (hopefully) going to get a good night's rest and come out of this thing knowing more about myself. I would be lying if I said I don't just want to be done with this, though. I'm not looking forward to it, not because it could reveal potential health issues but because of my own hang-ups that I've chronicled previously about stuff like this possibly being unnecessary or even unhelpful. It is what it is at this point; I'm going to get it done then tomorrow I'm going to Shoney's for breakfast.
9:58 AM - I received an email from a real good buddy of mine (who has had a sleep study) wherein he reminds me to bring cash with me tonight because if I pay extra the nurses will snuggle up next to me so I can sleep. I'm resisting the urge to make a joke and remind him that his wife happens to be a nurse at Lexington Medical Center...
I have had my normal cup of coffee this morning (Millstone's Hazelnut Cream) which I take with my breakfast each day, but I am feeling the urge to brew a pot here at my office or otherwise go get myself a Monster Import. I started drinking those things a while back and the Import has become my favorite; something about the flavor, odd as it is, and the uniqueness of the can draws me to it. I have no pep right now and I'm wondering why I bothered to come into work today at all seeing as how it's the Friday before a 3-day weekend (Memorial Day - thank you to all the veterans out there, by the way).
I'm not supposed to have any beverages with caffeine after noon today, per instructions in the information packet that was mailed to me, so if I'm going to get my fix I need to get on with it. Funnily enough, the packet did not mention abstaining from alcohol, so I'm wondering if it would be bad form should a fifth of Southern Comfort somehow wind up in my bag.
2:11 PM - While on my lunch break I went to get some gas in my truck. After I'd swiped my debit card and put in my PIN, I went to pull the hose out of the holster and insert it into my tank. (Why does the second half of that sentence sound like innuendo?) I hadn't picked which grade of fuel I wanted yet. When I pulled the hose (bow-chicka-bow-wow) the slack accidentally slapped against the button to select "Ultimate". I think a lot of my truck but not enough to pay $3.41 a gallon willingly, which is why my bank statement is going to show a transaction for $0.00 since I had to put the nozzle away in order to select a different fuel grade.
I missed my window for partaking in a caffeinated beverage. That's the trouble of being at work during the day, people catch you and expect you to do something that resembles productivity. So instead of a Monster or coffee I had to settle for a Sprite to wash down my deli meat sandwich and Doritos. I don't dislike Sprite by any means, it's just that on a day like today I could use a little pick-me-up. That's kind of sad in a way because I'm acknowledging a dependence on a substance. I guess soda is better than crystal meth, although I'm sure there's a nutritionist out there somewhere who would tell you otherwise.
5:25 PM - I had thought of taking my overnight bag with me when I left for work this morning but I didn't because I wanted to see my wife & our dog again before I took off on my adventure into Dreamland. I think I gave Jill the impression that I wasn't too thrilled about what I am about to experience. I never have been good at hiding my emotions, especially not when I'm feeling anxious about a given situation - I guess that hasn't changed.
6:30 PM - Moe's Southwest Grill is one of my favorite places to eat because they make burritos that are the size of small children and their guacamole is quite awesome. For these reasons, I decided to stop by a Moe's for supper since I was already going to be passing it on my way into Lexington. I had my usual Homewrecker burrito with steak, chips, and guacamole but the real star of this meal was the beverage. Coca-Cola's Freestyle machines have started to pop up in various locations but Moe's has always had them. (If you've never seen one, the Freestyle is a soda fountain that allows you to mix various flavors with the base syrup of a wide variety of Coca-Cola products.) I'll admit to having kept to the well-traveled roads when it comes to things I've tried from the Freestyle fountain but this evening I branched out and tried a cherry Sprite. I used to love cherry 7-Up but that's become nearly impossible to find and the version that's in stores now, to me, doesn't really taste like what I had grown to love as a kid. The cherry Sprite was very close to the cherry 7-Up that I remember; I probably could've drank about a gallon of it but I intentionally limited myself to one cup seeing as how I didn't want to overload my bladder for fear of having to get up multiple times during my sleep study.
7:45 PM - I've checked in to Lexington Sleep Solutions and I've been shown to my room, which is actually the second room I was put into. Apparently the technician who checked me in isn't the technician who'll be overseeing my study; my actual tech showed me to my actual room, which is the same as the other room except this one has a window. It's a decent amount of space, kind of like a low-end hotel room only with a way nicer bathroom. The shower is especially spacious but it is so because of care being taken to accommodate folks in wheelchairs or who may be otherwise handicapped. There's a TV, WiFi, a recliner, the bed (a full-sze; I guess my request for a king went on deaf ears) and a few other basic pieces of furniture, one of which is similar to a dresser with shelves that's holding a battery of equipment. A surveillance camera is situated just above the TV (so that you have to second guess yourself every time you go to pick your nose or adjust your naughty parts) and an intercom is on the dresser.
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| My "home away from home" for the evening |
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| For some reason, the Metallica lyric "...tied to machines that make me be..." comes to mind |
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| The shower, probably the best part of the whole room in terms of features |
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| The TV and surveillance equipment in my room |
The first tech I encountered offered me a bottle of water, Sprite or ginger ale. Here I am trying to strangle my bladder and they're trying to fill it up. I accept the water, only because I know I'm going to get thirsty at some point.
My technician, whose name is John, brings me some paperwork to fill out while I watch a video about sleep apnea, sleep studies, and treatment options for people with sleep apnea. I gather that the people in the video are sufferers of sleep apnea. The main participant in the video has a particularly sad sack story behind his issues - clearly he wasn't hired for this gig because of his acting chops. I watch the video then promptly turn the TV to the NHL playoffs.
8:30 PM - John fits me with a full-face CPAP mask as he feels this will serve me best since I have allergies and deal with nasal congestion quite often. (He tells me we're doing this now so that I won't have to worry about being woken up for a lengthy period of time during the night when they'll have me wear it while I sleep.) Most CPAP masks are intended to force air through the nose and into a person's airway thereby keeping it open and preventing the closure or restriction that leads to snoring and other problems. Hard to do that when there's a wall of snot in the way, hence why I'll need one that affords the opportunity to breathe through the mouth.
After fitting me for the mask, John says that I can kick back in bed and try to get acclimated to wearing it. I have a feeling that this is actually part of the sleep study, as in they want to see if I pass out just from lying down while wearing the mask. No dice - I'm awake and anxious. John comes back in about 15-20 minutes later to take the mask off before instructing me to be ready to get wired up around 9:45.
I bring up to John the fact that I'm a side-sleeper, which is something that's pointed out in the video as being a potential remedy to sleep apnea. He's quick to state that for the purposes of the sleep study, they need me to sleep on my back. Wrong thing to say, Johnny - you just made someone prone to suffering paranoia very paranoid. Why force someone out of their nightly habit for the sake of this test? How can this be a valid study if nothing about it is similar to what I actually do when I'm sleeping? That defies the concept of the scientific method, thereby making me question why I'm doing this.
I don't want to be here.
I don't think this is going to help me.
9:40 PM - True to his word, John shows up with the rigging that will soon be all over my body. John's a pretty tall guy, in good shape, muscular but not beefy which goes along with what he tells me about having been in the military when he was younger. He has a shaved head and a goatee, making him something of a skinny Stone Cold Steve Austin.
He's telling me about the various wires that are being applied to my body as he's configuring them. There are at least 10 leads on my scalp, which he applied with a dollop of some kind of grease - it has the consistency of petroleum jelly, only slightly more viscous. I imagine this is for the sake of connectivity as these sensors are to pick up my brainwaves. I have to say John wasn't exactly gentle in putting these things on my head. I'm not sure if he was trying to push them through what hair I have left up there or if I said something to piss him off. Regardless, the application process was rather painful.
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| If it looks like I'm thrilled, it's because I am... |
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| The leads attached to my legs - these are to check for signs of restless leg syndrome |
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| The panel of wires that would collect brainwave data while I slept |
11 PM - The TV turns off. I am still awake. I can hear things in and around the building - other patients snoring, the staff talking, cars driving by. It's all distracting but none of it is as distracting as my own thoughts. Why can't I go to sleep? Because I'm not comfortable. Why am I not comfortable? Because I'm tied to a bed by a bunch of wires and I can't get into my normal position.
I try getting onto my side and it's just as uncomfortable. The wires are pushing into my face and I'm getting warm from the fact that I'm wearing way more clothing than I typically would be while sleeping.
May 25, 2013
12:21 AM - I still haven't gone to sleep. I've only been in bed for 2 hours but the urge to urinate has struck me. I have to call John, who's on the other end of the intercom, to come unhook me before I can get out of bed. It's a bit demoralizing to have to have assistance to go to the bathroom but in this scenario it's unavoidable. I guess whoever develops the technology for these sleep studies hasn't had the wherewithal to incorporate WiFi or Bluetooth.
There's no clock in this room so the only way I know what time it is is by looking at my wristwatch on my way back from the bathroom. I can't wait for this to be over so I can go home.
I roll over onto my right side once I'm back in the bed (not an easy thing to do, what with all the wires) in an attempt to get comfortable and apparently I went to sleep deeply enough that John was able to hear me snoring. "You definitely snore...Loudly.", he says to me as he comes into the room to put the CPAP mask on me. Forgive my crassness here, but his bedside manner is the drizzling shits. He removes the apparatus around my nose in order to put the mask on me. I don't know if it's the fact that my head is now covered with wires or what but the mask is very uncomfortable, specifically the straps, compared to how it felt when I put it on earlier.
I wish I knew what time it was, at least then I'd be able to know how much longer I have to be here.
I don't think I got back to sleep the rest of the night, not fully anyway. Between the discomfort of the mask, the noise of the machine, and my anxiety about the whole thing I more or less laid there with my eyes closed but I was not asleep.
5:50 AM - I have to go to the bathroom again. I call John (it was hard to talk at first as my mouth was dry as a bone) and he says for me to hold tight for a few minutes because he's about to begin disconnecting another patient and it's almost time to get me up anyway. To that all I can say is thank God because I'm beyond ready to be out of this place.
John disconnects all the leads from my body and brings in my breakfast - a fruit cup, a serving of peach yogurt, and a blueberry muffin. No beverage; some coffee or a Coke would've been great as my mouth is dry from having air pumped into it by way of the CPAP. I guess it's a good thing I didn't drink all my water from the night before else I'd have had to choke down this meal of sadness with my own spit.
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| My breakfast - I had the option of not getting any breakfast but I knew I'd want something first thing in the morning |
After I've finished my breakfast and filled out a patient survey ("How would you rate the sleep you had during your study?" You don't want me to answer that truthfully.), I go to take a shower. Looking in the mirror, I see a dob of the axle grease John put onto my forehead. The finger that had the O2 sensor on it feels like there's a needle sticking into it but there's nothing there. Pulling off my shirt, I realize John left the pads on my chest to which the leads had been connected. I notice a burning sensation on my neck near my throat and it's tender to the touch. Apparently when John pulled off the tape that had been holding the microphone in place he pulled off a good chunk of skin with it. Did I mention his bedside manner was the drizzling shits?
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| The wounds left on my throat thanks to John yanking off a piece of tape that had been holding a microphone in place |
7:35 AM - Shoney's breakfast buffet is amazing and it is exactly what I needed this morning. I engorge myself on two plates of scrambled eggs, liver pudding, sausage, steak, and grits then head home.
Conclusion
I'm not sure what kind of useful information is going to be gleaned from this test, however I will say that I question its validity. You can't tell me that forcing someone into an unusual (not to mention uncomfortable) set of circumstances when you're trying to measure their typical behaviors constitutes a valid test. This was already my impression of the test before I had it done and having had it didn't change anything about my opinion.
I know I can be a fairly cynical person, and I usually am such because of the fact that it affords me the opportunity to be humorous in one way or another (the armchair psychologist in me says that's probably a defense mechanism of some sort), but quite frankly this was a horrible ordeal. The room became like a sensory deprivation chamber as the night went on; I never realized how much not having something as simple as a clock nearby would mess with my ability to perceive what's going on around me. I would not recommend anyone be put through this unless it is deemed absolutely necessary and even then I would caution you against it as I could see how someone like myself might suffer an anxiety or panic attack as a result of being subjected to this. If you do go through with a sleep study, I hope you have a technician who's more kind in handling their patients than mine was.
The results of my test should be ready in 4-7 days, depending on how long it takes the doctors to interpret all of it. After that, the results will be sent to my physician as I'm supposed to go back to her anyway for a follow-up appointment regarding my blood work. We'll see how it goes.
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