Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 2)

11-13-11 (Sunday): It takes almost two days travel to reach the Western Caribbean from our point of origin along the Eastern coast of Florida (for those of you who aren’t exactly up to speed when it comes to the geography of Central America).  This being the case, there would be two occasions on this particular cruise where we would not be pulling into port.  Carnival refers to these moments as Fun Days at Sea as they provide travelers an opportunity to roam about the ship and enjoy all that it has to offer (read, spend money as much money as possible).

Our first Fun Day at Sea began bright and early, for which I can certainly be blamed.  I never can bring myself to sleep in anymore, or so it seems, apparently not even whilst we’re on vacation (“My mind is a raging torrent…” as Hedley Lamarr once said).  We were up around 7:30 AM and once we’d gotten ready we decided to have breakfast in the dining room.  The dining rooms aren’t always open for breakfast or lunch (lido deck is usually the place to be for morning fare), which is why we wanted to take the time to enjoy a meal there at that time of day.

Sunrise while cruising in the Western Caribbean.

Jill and I both turned off our cell phones when we boarded the ship (cellular service – as well as WiFi – is available at sea and in the ports of call we’d be visiting, however we saw no point in paying the ridiculous rates required to maintain connectivity to a network).  We had absolutely no desire whatsoever to be bothered by things that might have been going on back home and especially not with the goings on of our individual workplaces.  Why then it was that for breakfast we managed to be seated at a table with two men who engaged in a struggle to one-up each other with their respective life stories and career paths is beyond me.  By the time Jill and I were finished eating they were still yapping away at one another, trading yarns about how much money they’d made (and subsequently lost on one venture or another) – for all I know they may still be at it.

After breakfast, we wandered onto the promenade deck.  Promenade is an interesting place in that it’s a focal point of the ship, similar to lido deck.  There are a number of specialty restaurants and lounges on this deck and the casino is also located therein (yes, much like in Las Vegas you will see people pulling on those “one armed bandits” all hours of the day).  The portion of promenade on the Carnival Dream that extends outside features several saunas and a walking track that allows guests to circumnavigate the entire boat.

Reverend Charles Stanley, presiding over his...Constituents.

While we were walking around outside, Jill and I came upon a gigantic chess board, so of course I took the opportunity to challenge her to a game, fully aware of the fact that she’d never played chess before (truth be told, I hadn’t played in ages either and this was proven by my having set the board up incorrectly by getting the positioning of the knights and bishops backwards).  We began the game and I instructed Jill as to the movements of each piece and the objective of the game as we went along; it wasn’t a serious contest by any means as I wanted her to have fun with the experience.

Balcony staterooms on the upper decks have a direct view of promenade’s exterior portion, so it wasn’t long before Jill and I found ourselves performing for an audience.  On top of that, two young boys from Guatemala joined in our game.  One of them spoke English rather well, conveniently enough.  It happened that he was fairly skilled in the game of chess and he began directing Jill on what to do.  It wasn’t long before I found myself playing without much more than my queen, a pawn, and a bishop (which, to put it in terms of football, is like trying to run an offense with nothing but your starting quarterback’s mom, a punter, and a ball boy).  Suffice to say that it bruised my ego to have been bested by my wife and a 10 year old (I’m pretty sure I could’ve taken him if we were playing HALO, though).  After the game, we retired to the lido deck for cones of soft-serve iced cream before returning to our stateroom for an afternoon of pure laziness.

Jill receiving strategic advice from her instructor, who she named Pedro.

That evening would be the first of two elegant nights aboard the Dream.  As you might expect, elegant nights are those where guests are encouraged to wear formal attire – suits, gowns, and the like.  Personally speaking, I happen to loathe this type of dress, not only because it is incredibly uncomfortable but also because it serves no function whatsoever (other than to make me uncomfortable, that is).  Be that as it may, I’ve been told that I clean up well and it goes without saying that my wife is a real looker all the time but especially so when she’s all dolled-up.

As an aside to my commentary on the matter of formalwear, I’d like to mention Leonardo, our stateroom steward, who did an excellent job in handling our laundry. (I was quick to point out to Jill how awesome it was to have a steward named after a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.) Leo, as I began referring to him, was a great help to us on several occasions.  I can point to his near constant presence as evidence that the folks who work to service quests on these boats earn their keep.

Photo opportunities are frequent on these boats as Carnival employs a small army of photographers and they are especially active on formal nights.  Guests can have their picture taken as often as they’d like however the photos aren’t included in the price of your cruise as there’s an additional charge per photo if you choose to purchase them (there’s no obligation to buy any of them, though). Photos are such a big deal that there’s an entire section of one deck encircling the grand atrium which is essentially nothing but a gigantic display wall where you may check out your photos before buying them.  Jill and I stopped at many of the paparazzi stations as we were on our way to dinner that evening; we weren’t necessarily planning on buying any of them but we don’t have professional photos done very frequently so we figured why not take advantage of the chance.

I'll never know what a beast like me did to earn a beauty like her.

As we entered the dining room and made our way to our table we noticed that our tablemates were already there!  Kevin and Kelly Gaines, a young couple similar to us in age; no surprise there as I’m certain that sort of thing goes into the maître d’s decision-making process when determining who gets seated where.  We exchanged pleasantries, introduced ourselves, and allowed the conversation to flow where it may.  Fortunately they are not socially awkward people as we got along well and enjoyed dining together throughout the week.

There is a wealth of entertainment options to be enjoyed during the evening hours and it’s quite easy to find something to keep you rolling into the wee hours of the day whether your tastes gravitate towards the mild or the wild.  For example, if high-energy dance music is your thing there are several clubs on board the Dream that specialize in specifically that in the form of Club O2 and Caliente.  On the other hand, if you prefer the sounds of someone tickling the ivories there’s Sam’s Piano Bar.  The casino is always an active place where you can get your fix of everything from Texas hold ‘em to penny slots.  The Dream is one of several Carnival boats to offer movie nights where recent releases are shown on a gigantic screen set above the main pool on lido deck (NFL football was the order of the day on Sunday and Monday nights).  For Jill and I, the places to be in the evenings were the Encore Theater and the Punchliner Comedy Club.

The Encore Theater is, as the name would indicate, a full-scale performance space complete with an orchestra pit, sound and lighting equipment, and everything else you would expect in a theater based on land. (It bears stating here that throughout the week I continuously marveled at the fact that we were inside a boat and not some gigantic building.) The show Sunday evening was a tribute to Motown; while I’ll admit that rhythm and blues isn’t exactly my favorite genre of music (there was no tribute to heavy metal, sadly), you have to admire the skill of those involved with productions like this.  I have trouble walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time, which is why the prospect of singing while remembering choreography seems impossibly complicated.

After the show we walked the length of the boat, all the way down to the Punchliner Comedy Club.  To me, the Punchliner was one of the most comfortable spaces we’d visit on the Dream.  I can’t pinpoint specifically what it was that made me feel this way, there was just something soothing to me about it.  The room is dimly lit but colored with shades of deep red – garnet, crimson, and what have you – and is adorned with a multitude of court jester masks (appropriate, considering the theme).  Hosting events in the Punchliner was a Dream staffer who was known simply as Jeff the Fun Dude.  Every night JFD would introduce the headlining comedian and also do a short opening bit to warm up the crowd.  The headliner this evening was comedian Hal Spear whose claim to fame is having been a writer for the improvisational comedy TV show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”.  His set was indicative of this as most of it centered around his ability to poke fun at situations that developed during his performance where he’d interact with the audience.  His was a fun show and probably the best comedic performance we’d see all week.

The view from our table inside the Punchliner Comedy Club.

We’d had a full day at sea and by this time of night we were ready for some rest, for tomorrow we’d be in Cozumel, Mexico!

11-14-11 (Monday): I woke up before I was hoping to yet again this particular morning, but I can’t say that I don’t appreciate having done so because if I hadn’t I might have missed our arrival to Cozumel.  I truly cannot say enough about how great the balcony staterooms are in providing such picturesque views – not only was seeing the sunrise each morning a beautiful event to behold but witnessing our approaches to the various ports of call were captivating.  Seeing these new lands was like discovering something wholly new and exciting.

After getting ourselves together we headed up to lido for breakfast.  It is fully within reason that a person might gain 20 pounds or more while on a cruise and this breakfast was proof as to why it could happen.  I had a plate loaded to the gills with sausages (which were labeled on the buffet as being “bangers and mash” – I’m pretty sure whoever made that sign didn’t know what bangers and mash actually is), bacon, ham, hashbrowns, and scrambled eggs along with a steaming bowl of grits which I’d loaded up with butter and salsa (I grew up eating tomato with my grits and the salsa is a natural extension of that, I think).  To say it was a satisfying feast would be a terrible understatement of just how happy my stomach was afterwards.

Jill and I scheduled several shore excursions for this cruise and we’d be taking one titled “Salsa & Salsa” during our stop in Cozumel.  Shore excursions are pre-planned events arranged through Carnival which cruisers may choose to participate in (they aren’t included in the baseline price of your cruise) however they are conducted by local companies, not Carnival.  Guests can make private bookings on their own through tour agencies, but there’s risk involved with doing so.  These boats operate on tight schedules and while they do allow travelers time to wander and explore at each port they will not wait around for stragglers.  That said, the danger in making private arrangements is that if your return to the boat is delayed you may find yourself also making private arrangements back home.  This isn’t the case with shore excursions booked through Carnival as they provide secure transport to and from the event, and also offer the assurance that you will not be left behind should delays occur.

Having been to Cozumel previously, Jill let me know in advance that before we entered the city we’d first have to pass through a mall filled with tax and duty free items – it was a long line of shops that sold liquor, cigarettes, and random other novelties on the cheap, in other words. (As a word of advice to the untraveled, you can buy a certain volume of booze without paying tax while on cruises however the bottles will be confiscated upon your return to the boat; they will not be returned to you until you are back at your point of origin at which time you may be required to pay taxes on them if you’ve bought more than you’re allotted.) It was a scene of somewhat controlled chaos inside the mall with people moving in steady procession through the space.  We didn’t stop and look at many of the items therein, mainly because we were more interested in making our way into Cozumel than we were with the wares offered on the pier.

Inside the duty free shops of Cozumel.

Low and behold, what was waiting for us on the other side of the mall was none other than more shops, albeit ones offering a greater variety of trinkets, souvenirs, and assorted other items sure to grasp the attention of tourists with heavy wallets (or at least high spending limits on their credit cards).  We spent some time browsing the stores before meeting up with the other members of our tour group.  There was much in the way of pottery and ceramics along with some pieces of woodwork that I found interesting in that it all seemed to be hand-crafted yet still mass-produced which, in my mind, took away from the uniqueness of the items.  Even so, there was an amazing assortment, and I found myself tickled at the fact that quite a few of the souvenirs were of an adult nature – nothing too incredibly vulgar or obscene, but suffice to say that if you’re a parent you may want to avoid certain of these shops when travelling with your children else you might find yourself having to answer questions about things you aren’t yet prepared to explain.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big fan of professional wrestling, which happens to be quite popular in Mexico and across a majority of Latin America.  There, it’s referred to as Lucha Libre and is a much different style of wrestling than what fans are accustomed to in the United States.  Grapplers in Mexico quite often wrestle while wearing masks and these masks become their identity.  Fittingly enough, it happened that one of the shops we visited in Cozumel had a sprawling collection of masks worn by Mexican wrestlers – I bought two of them for $20.

Lucha Libre masks for sale in Cozumel - there were many more of them!

Before long it was time to leave for our excursion, so we made our way back to the rallying point near the pier.  Our group for this tour would be a small one, just seven guests including Jill and myself.  We were taken by passenger vans from the area near port to the Hotel Cozumel, a posh resort located right on the ocean and known for its three-dolphin logo. (The ride from was an interesting one in that we discovered quickly that the area near the pier had definitely been “dolled-up”, for lack of a better phrase; I don’t mean to say that the city is a wretched hive by any means but the façades rapidly faded once we were away from the area nearest the port.) Once there, we were introduced to our instructors who would be teaching us how to make several different types of salsa and then later how to dance the salsa – I wasn’t exactly sure how the latter part of the plan was going to work out seeing as how “free-flowing margaritas” were a major selling point for this excursion.  We were taught how to make traditional salsas and guacamole using a molcajete (pronounced like “molk-a-het-aye”), which is essentially a mortar and pestle.  The highlight of the culinary portion of the excursion for me had to be the desert salsa which was served with what was the most amazing vanilla iced cream I’ve ever had.  I know it’s odd to be enamored with something so seemingly pedestrian as vanilla iced cream, but it had such a rich, creamy vanilla flavor!  Overall, our time with the dancing chefs of Salsa & Salsa was a lot of fun and a very exceptional experience.  I can’t say that I can dance any better now than I could before we left for the cruise, but I do think I can make a pretty tasty bowl of salsa.

Jill and I with our Salsa & Salsa group, and our instructors Leonie and Alexis.

We bounced around a few more shops before walking back through the duty free mall on our way to the boat.  We had a better chance to look around the joint then as there weren’t the better part of 4,000 people trying to get through it all at once.

Dinner that evening was a more casual affair than it had been the night previous as we could dress-down and be more comfortable but still somewhat dressy.  We had a good time recounting the day’s events with our tablemates who’d ventured farther into the city for a shopping trip (they had an advantage over us in that Kelly speaks Spanish; if I had it to do over again I’d have taken Spanish in high school instead of 3 years of French – probably the most useless courses I ever took, and that’s saying a lot considering the kinds of math I’ve studied).  After the meal, we went back to the room for a little while to change clothes and allow Jill a chance to rest her head. (It appeared as though someone might have had a little much tequila during the day…) She felt well enough to go to the photo wall with me and look at what we’d taken the night before but she opted out of going to the Punchliner with me.  I capped off the evening by sitting in the bar of the casino to watch part of the NFL game (they’ll air programming like the game in question around different areas of the boat but not in passenger staterooms where the TVs carry about a dozen channels, 8 of which are informational loops reporting data pertaining to the ship) before going to the comedy club for a few laughs.

When I returned to our stateroom, I found a note Jill had left for me with her breakfast order to be left for room service.  We’d both need sustenance in the morning as we would be arriving in Belize for another early day and one of the greatest adventures of our lives.