Movie Review Round-Up #2 - So Many Movies I Can't Come Up With a Witty Title

I've had the opportunity to watch a lot of movies lately, and they've come from different sources - Netflix, Redbox, and even a couple new releases in several of our favorite local theaters. I have to say that it's rather amazing to me how delivery of material like this has changed over the course of my lifetime. I've witnessed first-hand the creation, boom, and subsequent decline of traditional, brick and mortar businesses geared towards movie rentals. With things like digital downloads through streaming services and vending machines that are capable of pushing out Blu-ray discs, movies are as accessible as they've ever been. I don't know that we'll ever see a day when going to a theater is passé, however it should be clear to Hollywood now more so than ever before that people aren't going to willingly drive to a cinema and plunk down their $10 to see a movie just because it's new or starring a beloved actor (yes, I'm pointing at you Lone Ranger). Why should they when they can just wait a few weeks or months and see the same film for $1.50 in the comfort of their own home? It's a marvelous time to be a fan of movies, is what I'm getting at. Here's my take on some recent selections.

Man of Steel

 It was going to take some doing in order for Warner Brothers and the Superman film franchise to recover from the disaster that was Bryan Singer's attempt at rebooting the series with 2006's Superman Returns. That film was filled with nostalgia and made every attempt to recapture the feel of the days when Christopher Reeve donned the signature costume that's as iconic as any superhero garb, and that was a major factor in its failure - that and the fact that Brandon Routh has the personality of a sheet of plain, white copier paper. How then can a character as beloved as Superman return to prominence? By including a creative mind like that of director Zack Snyder with a story that takes the "big, blue boy scout" in a more gritty and much darker direction than has ever been put on film before.

 Man of Steel stars Henry Cavill as the hero so incredible he carries three names - Superman, Clark Kent and Kal-El. He's surrounded by the characters you would expect to see; Lois Lane (Amy Adams), Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner), Martha Kent (Diane Lane), as well as his doomed parents Jor-El (Russel Crowe) and Lara-El (Ayelet Zurer). Michael Shannon appears as the villainous General Zod, an oddly adored character (mostly for having said "Kneel before Zod!") which was played previously by Terence Stamp in Superman II.

The story is more or less what you'd expect to see out of a film that's supposed to serve as a jumping-on point for new and old fans alike. You have Supe's origin story, now told with vastly more detail than has been laid out before. Personally speaking, I was very impressed with scenes depicting the struggle between Jor-El and General Zod on Krypton - I probably could've watched an entire movie about their conflict, the imprisonment of Zod and his forces in the Phantom Zone, and Krypton's cataclysmic end. Details regarding Kal-El's arrival on Earth and his upbringing by the Kents is told through flashbacks as we meet Clark fully grown, a man who's spent his life attempting to hide his abilities from humanity for fear of what revealing himself might mean. Clark finally accepts his destiny as Earth's savior when Zod escapes and locates the son of the man responsible for his banishment.

This is the sort of Superman film a modern audience needs. Plenty of action, solid writing, a quality cast, and the vision of a director who can make a potentially bland character into an identifiable hero who has flaws just like everyone else. Audiences got their fill of Superman engaged in a battle of wits as that formula didn't exactly lead to a remarkable product in Superman Returns; rather, this time around we see the full impact of what would happen if a group of beings who are essentially God-like in their combined powers and resiliency brought conflict to our world. It's a no-holds-barred final act that's as fulfilling as could be, but it has one major flaw in my opinion.

Throughout the whole of the film, we're shown how Jonathan Kent tried to inundate his found son with the responsibility his powers brought. Pa Kent knew Clark had a chance to be a hero or a villain, hence why he tried to show him how to appreciate humanity for all its weaknesses. I can't help but compare the battle between Zod & Superman in Man of Steel to that in Superman II. Reason being, in the older film Superman shows great concern over the fact that a trio of evil Kryptonians are about to lay waste to all of Metropolis which is why he draws them away from civilization. In Man of Steel, Superman doesn't seem too concerned about the fact that the fight he's engaged in is going to wreck a good part of the city, maiming or killing God only knows how many bystanders in the process. There will always be causalities of war, sure, but this is a little too egregious of an oversight to ignore.

Still, I enjoyed this and I hope the momentum this film will generate puts Superman back on track. Unfortunately I don't think it will be able to kick start a movement towards a Justice League motion picture; there's no sense of organization to the DC Comics characters as it relates to their inclusion in a potential epic mash-up, which is exactly what MARVEL was able to do with their heroes leading up to The Avengers. Something that big has to fit logically inside a greater body of work and right now there's nothing to tie these various characters together.

/5 Superman Underoos


A Good Day to Die Hard

When you get to the fifth movie in a franchise, you're either talking about a series with enough story left to tell that it requires more sequels or one that makes barely enough money to still be considered a bankable hit. The Die Hard series definitively falls into the latter category.

A Good Day to Die Hard stars Bruce Willis as aging New York cop turned avid terrorist hunter John McClane. This time out he's on the way to Russia in order to help his son Jack (Jai Courtney) who's somehow managed to get himself involved with the doings of ne'er-do-wells who either want or have nuclear weapons. As it turns out, John's son is actually a CIA operative who hasn't exactly had a superlative relationship with his father. The two attempt to patch things up whilst shooting at people and surviving repeated calamitous incidents involving jumps out of windows from ridiculously high elevations.

I was 8 years old when the first Die Hard film was released. I'll be 33 in a few weeks, which means this series has been going on for the bulk of my life. That's rather amazing to consider, especially now that this franchise has continued even though the movies are more or less paint-by-number. McClane inevitably gets thrust into a situation where he has to protect or defend a person or resource, gets bloodied in the process, but ultimately prevails. The only real differences are the person/thing to be protected and the villain he's facing, although even those have been fairly predictable as John seems to have a thing for Germans and Russians.

This is the sort of movie you watch because you're a fan of the players involved or of the series itself. I still watch them because I have always thought Willis' performance in the original Die Hard was one of the best anti-heroes ever and I hold onto hope that that McClane is still out there, even though I think the best of him got used up way back during Die Hard With a Vengeance. That was the third film in the series and would've been a very suitable conclusion in my mind. It seems as though we're in for at least one more go-round with McClane as the sixth film to be titled Die Hardest has already been announced.

/5 Hans Gruber death faces




The Expendables 2

Speaking of movies that get made simply because of the fact someone out there still cares about our community of aging action stars from the 1980s & 90s, The Expendables 2 is here to show us all that just because you're drawing Social Security doesn't mean you can't use machine guns and save the world.

Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jean Claude Van Damme, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, and the guy from those awesome Old Spice commercials - they're all here, and so is Thor's brother. No, not Loki, Chris Hemsworth's brother Liam (who didn't have much of a career prior to dating Miley Cyrus; apparently he got the better end of that deal). It's a huge cast, needless to say, and while it's a wet dream for people who still fawn over these actors it's really an attempt to grasp at straws for relevancy.

This is like seeing an aged professional wrestler (leave it to me to make a pro wrestling reference), popular in his day who should've been long-retired but hasn't because he either needs the work or still loves the business, having matches on cards that draw fans in the dozens instead of thousands. There's nothing about this that's redeeming. I watched Expendables 2 and I kept hoping for something truly awesome to happen but as it went on it became more farcical and genuinely depressing.

Time to hang up your ammo belts, boys - we'll always have Terminator 2 and Demolition Man to remind us of how awesome you are.

/5 Chuck Norris beards





Cloud Atlas

Every so often a movie comes around that attempts to make profound statements regarding how we, as human beings who exist for a mere moment in the grand scheme of things, could possibly be so intertwined with one another that a perception like love stands to span multiple lifetimes. Could an emotion be so strong as to leap through time, from one body to another, unbeknownst to those experiencing it? This is the underlying notion behind Cloud Atlas, a movie so esoteric that it could also be labeled pretentious.

Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, and Hugo Weaving all star in this picture as multiple characters who find each other, albeit in several different lifetimes. Beginning in the Colonial era and moving on through time into the future where mankind has abandoned Earth, the plot of Cloud Atlas centers around how love and kindness can be the ultimate trigger of change in our world as this is a recurring theme explored by every iteration of the souls of these characters.

Cloud Atlas reminds me very much of The Red Violin, a film which follows the history of a cherished violin as it is passed from one owner to another throughout several hundred years. They both are movies that attempt to show how a singular event, ideal or object can flow through generations, involving a multitude of players who may or may not know of each other or how their motivations may ultimately affect the world around them. I think The Red Violin is a better movie, if for no other reason than the fact that it doesn't have the sort of overwhelming agenda that Cloud Atlas does.

This doesn't strike me as the kind of movie casual audiences are going to be able to grasp or even care to watch, for that matter. There are a lot of moving pieces here, none of which are lined up congruently as the pacing has us jumping around from one timeline to another. It is, however, a well-acted piece and the cinematography is fantastic as are the special effects. (Side note: There are a LOT of rather disturbing prosthetic noses and eye make-ups in this movie.) In essence, it's more of a technical achievement than anything else.

/5 Asian Hugo Weavings



Despicable Me 2

Animated films have come a long way since I was a child. Back then cartoons were for kids and adults were shamed for watching them. Now studios realize that adults are the ones taking their children to the movies, so why not make those movies appealing to the child and the adult thereby doubling your audience in the process? Pixar, Dreamworks, Universal, and all the rest have realized this, which is why I have no qualms about having gone to see Despicable Me 2 the week it opened.

DM2 picks up where the first left off. Gru (Steve Carell) has made the transition into life as the adoptive father of 3 little girls - Margo, Edith and Agnes - and is now a former super-villain, having given up his old ways for the sake of being a family man. He finds himself unwillingly recruited into the role of a crime fighter when Lucy (Kristen Wiig), a member of the appropriately named Anti-Villain League, comes to ask for his assistance in a not-so-subtle manner. The two of them must find out who has hijacked a quantity of PX-41, a substance capable of mutating ordinary beings into ravenous monsters, before this new criminal mastermind can unleash their fiendish plot on mankind.

This is a a movie with a lot of heart as Gru's transformation into a hero is perfectly facilitated by the presence of his daughters. They are his world and he would do anything for them, and that's a fantastic message to send out these days when so many children and adults could use a good parental role model.

Steve Carell is brilliant in just about anything he does and Kristen Wiig makes for a great addition to the cast as she has a core understanding of comedic delivery. I certainly hope we get a third movie out of this series as there's definitely room to grow here. Is GM2 better than the original, though? That's a tough call as I found both films entertaining - I am somewhat inclined to say the original is slightly funnier than GM2 but that's really splitting hairs for the sake of doing so.

/5 Fluffy Unicorns


Oz the Great and Powerful

The Wizard of Oz is one of the most beloved films of all time, and rightfully so. It was a technical marvel in its era and the performance of Judy Garland is one that can truly never be forgotten. An attempt to recapture that same magic with a prequel is a tough challenge but director Sam Raimi has given it his best with Oz the Great and Powerful.

Everyone knows by now how Dorothy winds up in the land of Oz - she and her family's home are swept away from rural Kansas by a horrible twister which transports her and her dog Toto to a land of munchkins, witches, and wizards. In this same manner does Oscar "Oz" Diggs (James Franco), a small time traveling carnival magician and con man, find himself getting whisked away, albeit in a different vehicle (a hot air balloon). As it turns out, his arrival in Oz was expected as a prophecy foretold of his coming - unfortunately for him, whoever wrote the prophecy left some big expectations as the people of Oz had been longing for the great wizard they'd been promised. Oz must determine what he's to do in this new world and which witch is the witch he should be trusting.

I will be completely upfront with you in admitting that I am not a big fan of James Franco. I have yet to see a piece of work from him that has struck me as being tremendously worthy of praise as everything I've seen of him comes off as an actor who's trying not to look like he's acting. Maybe that's just me - regardless, I think the role of Oz probably could've gone to half a dozen other leading men in his age range and the end result been better. He's not necessarily bad here, it's just that a more vivid personality might have been a better option than him. (Sam Raimi has his favorite recurring partners, of which Franco is apparently one, which is why Bruce Campbell and Sam's own brother Ted still get work.)

Franco had the good fortune to be stood up next to three beautiful actresses in the form of Rachel Weisz, Mila Kunis, and Michelle Williams, each of who play the infamous witches of Oz (Weisz & Kunis being wicked, and Williams being good). I can't not point out that it's almost impossible for me to see Mila Kunis and not immediately put Meg Griffin's face over her own. I've clearly watched too much Family Guy in my life for that to be happening to me.

All in all, Oz the Great and Powerful is an entertaining movie and definitely capable when it comes to fleshing out the back story as to how Oz came to be how it is when Dorothy arrives. There are a couple little tributes here and there to the future of Oz, as you might expect, and I almost wish there had been more of them.

 /5 Stoned James Franco Faces

Movie Review - GI Joe: Retaliation

Like pretty much every other little boy who had the distinct privilege of having been born in the 1980s (a truly epic decade in terms of cultural and technological advancements), I played with Hasbro's GI Joe toys and I truly loved them. To me, they were awesome - I found them so appealing because they combined cutting edge military technology and exciting possibilities for battlefield carnage thanks to the assortment of vehicles & weapons available to both the heroic GI Joes and the villainous forces of Cobra. I would stage battles routinely, both indoors and out; truth be told, I had a sandbox in my Grandparents back yard and I would quite often have burial ceremonies for fallen combatants after the war of the day had concluded. (PRO-TIP: Don't bury GI Joe figures in wet sand, it ruins the joints.) I went so far as to get characters from other series involved in the mix. I know I wasn't the first kid to have He-Man fighting side by side with Snake Eyes or to wonder what would happen if Star Scream hooked up with Baroness.

Okay, that last one might have been a bit weird (not to mention physically impossible), but the point of that opening paragraph was to say that the GI Joe toys were a big part of my childhood. It goes without saying that the live-action GI Joe movies are of significant interest to me, if for no other reason than the fact that they project the kind of nostalgic sensations that are, fittingly enough, generally reserved for hero worship. Throw in some of the most well-known action stars in the modern era of movie-making with a whole bunch of explosions and you've got the makings for a fine afternoon of cinema - or, as is the case with GI Joe: Retaliation, an entertaining but ultimately mindless and rather disjointed movie that doesn't live up to the expectations of little boys like me who've gotten older but haven't necessarily grown up yet.

Set not too long after the events of its predecessor, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Retaliation's plot picks up with the world of the Joes mirroring that of our own. Occurrences in countries like Pakistan and North Korea are creating instability in different regions and the Joes are doing what they do best - fighting under the flag of the United States as a group of highly trained and outfitted soldiers using special tactics and covert techniques to prevent dangerous munitions from getting into the hands of the enemies of freedom. Trouble rears it's ugly head when Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), a Cobra operative masquerading as the President of the US since the actual President (Jonathan Pryce) was kidnapped during The of Rise of Cobra, begins setting into motion a plan that will set free Cobra Commander from a suspended animation prison and completely decimate the Joes. Having been set loose by Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) and Firefly (Ray Stevenson), Cobra Commander lashes out with a diabolical strategy to simultaneously disarm the world's nuclear powers and destroy them using a series of satellites serving as weapon platforms equipped with armaments capable of laying waste to entire cities. With minimal resources and personnel, the surviving Joes - Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Snake Eyes (Ray Park) - must fight back to reclaim America and, in fact, the rest of the world from the evil clutches of Cobra.

I can't talk about Retaliation without mentioning the fact that it sat on a shelf in a somewhat completed state for almost a year before finally being released in theaters. Originally, this movie was supposed to have debuted in June of 2012 but it was delayed by Paramount Pictures as they saw fit to convert the film to 3D and also re-shoot part of the thing in order to increase Channing Tatum's involvement. I fail to understand the benefit of either of these moves. As a moviegoer, 3D does nothing for me - I still see it as a gimmick designed to bilk people out of a few extra bucks at the box office. And regarding Tatum, ladies, please don't kid yourselves - he's not naked in this one. For that matter, he's barely in the movie at all. That's not necessarily a bad thing as I was growing tired of his portrayal of Duke as the cocky high school quarterback by the point in time that he gets blown up (darn, my spoiler alert button appears to be malfunctioning).

Dwayne Johnson is the real star here although with a line-up this big he's got a lot of other players competing with him for screen time. Roadblock is a good role for him as it fits and plays to his abilities, but there's not enough substance here to give him something worth hanging his hat on. Despite his many acting gigs, Johnson is still waiting for the part that makes him an icon, in my opinion. He hasn't yet found his Terminator or Die Hard, is what I'm getting at, but even so he's plenty capable of being entertaining.

On another note, me being the pro wrestling fan that I am it still feels odd to have to refer to him as Dwayne Johnson and not The Rock - even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is weird, although not as bad.

As for the rest of the cast, Bruce Willis is the most recognizable face and definitely the one with the most credentials. His part here is that of the grizzled veteran who knows better than to stand down even though he's been long since taken out of active duty. For all intents and purposes, Ray Stevenson is the most prolific villain in Retaliation but that's mostly due to the fact that his cohorts are all wearing masks of some sort or another. I'm a fan of Stevenson's, even though he's definitely not a household name. If you're into zombie movies or gritty horror mixed with sci-fi, find a copy of a film Stevenson starred in called Outpost - I think you'll be glad you did.

Speaking of actors in masks, Ray Park reprises the role of Snake Eyes in Retaliation, a part which sees him donning a full helmet as was the case with the character originally in the cartoon series. Park is best known for his work as Darth Maul in Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace and also for having played Toad in Bryan Singer's X-Men. He's the type of actor who doesn't receive much fanfare (stuntmen rarely get the respect they deserve), and unfortunately Snake Eyes doesn't get much to do here. There's a major sequence in which he participates but it didn't have any sort of impact upon me. It's an example of a scene that should really grab you by the seat of your pants yet manages to feel mostly flat because of it being rushed and poorly plotted.

D.J. Cotrona is more or less here to fill out a part as his work with Flint isn't at all distinctive, but I blame the script for that more than I do him as an actor; he can only do what's on the page, after all. Adrianne Palicki adds some much-needed femininity to the core group of surviving Joes, however there's not a whole lot of effort put into establishing her character outside of a rather typical "girl who wanted to work hard to prove she could do it" back story. Palicki, if you weren't aware, was cast to play the title part in a Wonder Woman TV series for which NBC filmed a pilot episode but never went further than that.

Shame to see that costume go to waste.

For me, the plot of this film and the writing behind it is a big part of why Retaliation is ultimately rather dull. (Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick penned the script; they had a hit in the form of Zombieland but that magic isn't anywhere to be found in Retaliation.) This is the sort of thing that happens when you're dealing with a story that is trying to include 10 or more primary characters packed into a movie that's not even 2 hours long. You can't establish emotional connectivity and get everything else in, so what gets sacrificed? The emotional connections, I'm sad to say. Oh, Duke died? Go figure! (Spoiler Alert Button Status: still malfunctioning.) It winds up being action and explosions for the sake of having action and explosions, not because there's any substantive reasoning for either. Maybe I'm off my rocker for expecting more out of this material, but I persist in the thought that even something as silly as a kids cartoon can be converted into a piece of work suitable for all audiences that manages to have heart and logic included.

One of my biggest pet peeves about an action movie like Retaliation is the music, specifically the lack of anything resembling recognizable, thematic scoring. Consider classic action heroes and their musical accompaniment. Superman has theme music. Indiana Jones has theme music. James Bond has theme music. Harry Potter has theme music. Hell, for that matter, Forrest Gump has theme music. Why then do the GI Joes not get theme music? The closest thing I heard to a consistent piece of music herein was something that cropped up a couple times in battle sequences which, to my ears, sounded a whole heck of a lot like Rammstein's "Reise Reise". That doesn't pass muster for a true theme, though, not in my book. A theme should be bombastic, consistent, and immediately recognizable - the sounds I point out weren't any of that. I know it would be corny but I'd have sufficed for a revamped version of one of the themes from the GI Joe cartoons - something, anything to add to the ambiance of the movie.

 

GI Joe: Retaliation isn't a terrible movie by any means although I'd say it certainly does fall into the category of mindless Summer-time action flicks. I've read some criticisms of Retaliation wherein the writer opines that this movie is better than GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Personally, I liked The Rise of Cobra better. With all the technology and gear flying around in addition to the colorful personalities involved, it just felt more like a true GI Joe story whereas Retaliation comes across as being GI Joe interpreted through the eyes of someone who's played a bit too much Call of Duty.

Knowing what I know now, would I pay money to see it again? Probably not, and I certainly wouldn't pony up the extra $4-$5 for the 3D "experience". This is the kind of movie that I would more often than not reserve for an occasion where I'm browsing Netflix at 6 AM on a Saturday because I can't sleep and need something to kill time until my wife is up and around.