WWE Live at Colonial Life Arena in Columbia, SC (November 6, 2013)

[Author's Note: This is an expanded version of an event report I submitted to the professional wrestling news website Pro Wrestling Insider, PWInsider.com. They published my original piece, which you can view at this link.]

It might seem somewhat childish, but I'm a 33-year old man who still enjoys watching professional wrestling. "Rasslin", as it's sometimes referred to down here in the South - it's the sort of thing that gets you a funny look when you admit to being into it as an adult because, much like cartoons, it's one of those things that society expects to be appealing only to kids. Fact of the matter is, though, I've watched it ever since I was a young lad and I see no reason to stop. Sure there are times where the stuff that makes it to television makes me slap my head because of how ridiculous it is (wrestling is a "soap opera for men" is a phrase I've heard, which is mostly accurate), but the reality of it is that this is a form of entertainment and at this point I'm working on better than 20 years of knowledge regarding the continuity of this story. Not that the plot will ever end, but leaving now would be akin to watching Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back but never bothering to check out Return of the Jedi.

What's more, a common interest in pro wrestling is one of the things that my wife & I share. She informed me of her fondness of it when we first got together and consequently I've used that to my advantage as I've dragged her to some, shall we say, incredibly questionable venues thanks to our mutually confessed adulation of wrestling. That brings us to the event we attended this past Wednesday, November 6, 2013 - an edition of WWE Live held at the Colonial Life Arena in Columbia, South Carolina.

This was taken by a photographer at The State newspaper as we entered the building.

We arrived about an hour before the 7:30 PM bell time. I'm a stickler for this sort of thing as I am always paranoid about things like parking and getting through security without being rushed to make it to our seats in time for the show to begin. There were a couple dozen guys in the parking lot literally coming up to people in cars, sometimes following them to their parking spaces as they were still making their way into the lot, trying to sell fake WWE t-shirts and posters. This isn't an uncommon practice as I've seen it numerous times at various buildings; it's kind of funny because their products are always terrible quality but I guess people still buy them else they wouldn't be out there. (Suffice to say the stuff they're selling is illegal seeing as how the logos and likenesses they use are intellectual properties protected by copyright laws.) After we waded through them we got to the doors, and to my amazement the arena was already open by the time we got there. No queue, no delay, we went straight in. For that matter there wasn't even security at the gate - no wands, no bag checks.

Suddenly I got the feeling this might not be the most extravagant of WWE events. What I mean by that is it didn't exude the big time feel that I've had in the past when going to their shows. Actually, I had concerns about that going into the thing as far back as when I bought our tickets. Reason being, that same day WWE was set to begin a week-long European tour, meaning that while our show was happening a majority of the WWE roster was already in a different part of the world. What that meant for us, potentially, was a show featuring what could best be described as leftover talent. Not to say that they aren't good, just that the event stood to be lacking in star power.

When we got inside we browsed the merch booth and noticed something new. Seems as though WWE has gotten into the idea of selling professional photos of fans holding a replica of the newly redesigned WWE title. I didn't look to see how much the pictures cost but it's probably much cheaper than buying an actual replica belt as a keepsake.

PRO-TIP: I bought our tickets as part of a pre-sale event, and because of this I was able to get us front row seats right up against the railing near where the wrestlers make their way to the ring. I surprised Jill with them as I'd kept them hidden right up until we went through the gates. Pre-sales are usually promoted by event venues via some sort of mailing list, so if you are a fan of concerts and performances and want to get the best seats possible you'd do well to sign up with your local venues. I will tell you, though, that these pre-sales can be a blessing and a curse when it comes to being a patron. On the one hand, if you get in early enough on the pre-sale you can get some fantastic seats like I did. However, sometimes venues only open up certain sections in the arena for the pre-sale, meaning it may look like there are no good or ideal seats left when in reality there are likely still some to be had. To make matters worse, a lot of times some of the best seats get reserved for giveaways and other promotions, meaning the general public essentially never has a fair shot at them. There are a lot of tricks to this business, needless to say!

We found our seats and took a few pictures at ringside. We noticed that it looked like a slim crowd at that point but in my mind I likened the situation to Gamecock football games in that Columbia crowds seem to be late on arrival as a matter of principle. My wife went to the restroom before the show began and when she came back she said there weren't very many people on the concourse at the concession stands. By the time the show started, the floor seats were mostly full but there was what I'd call a "splash" of fans scattered around the lower bowl of the arena. I think Colonial Life holds somewhere around 10,000 at maximum capacity - I'd say there were less than 2,500 in attendance that night.

Tony Chimel was our ring announcer. I don't know why but I thought he'd been released from his contract with WWE at some point in the past (not an uncommon thing for them; almost every year after Wrestlemania there are a series of cuts made to the roster, usually for budgetary reasons but others as well). Regardless, he informed us that we'd have a chance to determine the stipulation to be added to the main event by tweeting or texting our preference. I have to hand it to WWE - involving the fans using social media and technology is pretty awesome, even if it oftentimes seems as though they make the choice an obvious one. ("Okay, guys - who do you want to see face Randy Orton? Hornswoggle, The Brooklyn Brawler, or John Cena...VOTE NOW!") We would get to choose between a street fight or no disqualification rules being added to the CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family tag team match. As an old school fan who's been around long enough to know I kind of shook my head over this because no disqualification technically could be the same thing as a street fight. I say that even though I know well enough by now that looking for logic in pro wrestling is like looking for a specific grain of sand on a beach.

1) The Primetime Players (Darren Young & Titus O'Neil) vs. Hunico & Comacho

Hunico made fun of a kid sitting behind us who was wearing a Sin Cara mask (which looks like this). If you don't get that reference, there was a point in time where there were two Sin Cara's - the real one and the fake one, who was Hunico in disguise. This was a good opener, albeit a classically structured tag team match where Darren Young played the good guy in distress who finally made a tag to Titus O'Neil who promptly laid waste to Hunico and Comacho. The Primetime Players won and got things off to a spirited start.

2) Jinder Majal vs. The Great Khali

Jinder came to the ring using his old entrance music from when he was a singles competitor - I guess he still is a singles competitor, but it seemed odd that he'd be using it since he's part of a group called 3 Man Band (along with Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre, who would be appearing later on in the show). I made the comment to my wife that he looked rather militant with his all-black garb; I doubt this wasn't intentional, seeing as how an Arabic character in professional wrestling is almost universally recognized as being a villain.

It pains me to watch Khali. At better than 7 feet tall, he's a physical specimen but he has severe limitations when it comes to mobility and dexterity. This was more or less every Khali match you've ever seen. He delivers a couple overhand chops to the bare chest of Majal then he gets some heat when he botches a kick to the corner (which looks awful because he doesn't kick, he just throws his leg over the rope), and finally he makes the comeback for the win.

3) Brie Bella w/Nikki vs. AJ Lee (WWE Diva's Champion) w/Tamina

This was advertised as being a Diva's Championship match but AJ got on the microphone immediately as she entered the ring and announced that she would not be defending the title tonight. This was a solid match, which was a great thing to see since WWE's female wrestlers are often criticized as being one of the low points of a given card. Brie got the victory after Tamina attempted to get involved only to have Nikki yank her off the apron.

Trust me when I say that the aesthetic differences between the Bellas, who are identical twin sisters, are especially noticeable up close. Nikki is more enhanced than her sister is, if you catch my meaning. Also, during this match there was some dude perched beside me on the other side of the railing who seemed to be trying to take pictures of the Bellas with an iPhone. I'm not sure who he was or what that was about, though.

4) Intercontinental Championship Match - Curtis Axel (c) vs. R-Truth

Axel, who has an incredible lineage as he is the grandson of Larry "The Axe" Hennig and the son of "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, ran down the crowd as being beneath him before the match. R-Truth came out to his usual pre-match antics, rapping and dancing on his way to the ring and getting the support of the fans in the process.

Curtis looked good coming off of a recent hip injury, although I want to be critical of the fact that his physique isn't anything to be especially proud of. I say that because here lately there have been a number of stories published by wrestling news websites regarding a talent named Khasius Ohno (who is better known as Chris Hero) who was more or less demoted from his position in the company for supposedly not focusing intently enough on developing his physical appearance. Why does a guy like him get thrown under the bus but not Axel?

Truth came off well here because it never felt like he wasn't capable of winning the match - right up until he finally lost, that is.

- Intermission -

5) Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre vs. The Usos

I can't lie, Drew & Slater are entertaining in the role of bandmates in the 3 Man Band gimmick. In the realm of potentially awful creative ideas that have been thrust upon otherwise solid wrestlers, that's the kind of thing that could end careers but these guys have found a way to make it fun if nothing else. The Usos, on the other hand, do nothing for me. Their work just seems sloppy and I do not get their appeal, at all. That said, the Usos won after what was a fairly competitive match with all parties getting involved.

6) Ryback vs. Justin Gabriel

When Gabriel came out I was hoping it wouldn't be Ryback as his opponent. To give those of you who don't follow wrestling an idea of why I didn't want it to be Ryback, Justin is a high-flying cruiserweight and Ryback would be considered a super-heavyweight who's so muscular that he looks like he could throw a Volkswagen through a brick wall. I didn't want to see a squash match this late in the card ("squash match" being wrestling vernacular for a match designed to make one competitor look better by having him soundly beat what is typically an inferior opponent), but but sure enough it was Ryback.

Ryback came out and tried to get the crowd against him by running down the University of South Carolina Gamecocks football team and how they're going to get beaten down by the University of Florida Gators in a few weeks. I'd like to have seen him say that to Jadeveon Clowney - that would've been entertaining, likely more entertaining than this match as a matter of fact.

The match went about how you'd expect it. Gabriel had a few fleeting moments of hope but couldn't get past Ryback, the guy who (WARNING - STRING OF WRESTLING & POP CULTURE REFERENCES APPROACHING) looks like Bill Goldberg wearing Rob Van Dam's singlet with randomly-placed Team Rocket logos on his gear.

7) Tag Team Street Fight - CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Eric Rowan w/Bray Wyatt)

At this point, my wife & I got a little upset because we realized the card on this night was, in fact, subject to change (that little phrase has adorned every wrestling poster that I've ever seen, and for obvious reasons). In promoting the event, WWE and the Colonial Life Arena had advertised appearances by Kane, Paul Heyman, as well as Cody Rhodes and Goldust who are the current WWE Tag Team Champions. Not that we didn't look forward to the main event, but we were hoping to see Kane and The Rhodes Brothers. This goes back to my notion of this show not being all that loaded with star power, but hey - CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are a good get any day of the week as far as I'm concerned.

This match was the highlight of the night. The street fight stipulation won the fan vote (real shocker, that) but they never really took advantage of those rules - no brawling in the crowd or what have you. There was a point in wrestling's history where a match like this would've involved blood as it's a great tool that, when used appropriately, can add to the drama of a contest. That doesn't happen as often anymore as athletic commissions have had their say in trying to limit the dangers of exposing athletes and fans to blood-bourne pathogens.

There was some great work at the start of the match where it looked like Punk & Bryan would establish control early on but Harper & Rowan managed to get the upper hand by isolating Bryan, who took the bulk of the punishment from Bray's disciples. The Wyatt's introduced a kendo stick to the match, beating down both Punk & Bryan but Punk found his own kendo and evened things up. The finish came after Harper ran himself into a table that the Wyatt's had set in one of the corners after which Punk hit him with his signature finishing maneuver, the GTS (Go To Sleep).

 

After the match Bryan & Punk spent a good bit of time going around ringside, meeting with fans, taking pictures and signing autographs. I "slapped hands" with them and I will admit that in that moment I was a small child who just happened to be shaped like a grown man.

Overall I'd say that this show was quite entertaining but it was also very rushed. It started on time at 7:30 PM and even with the intermission it was done around 9:30-9:45. I guess these guys all had planes to catch in order to join the rest of the crew across the pond.

My Attempt at a Juice Cleanse/Fast

A few weeks ago I saw a promotional trailer for a documentary film called Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead which follows the story of an Australian man named Joe Cross who was - as the title would imply - fat, sick, and nearly dead. He was 100 pounds overweight and suffered from an autoimmune disease, but through a combination of juice fasting, exercise and diet planning he was able to heal his own body and is now living without the need for medication.

My health is nowhere near as poor as his, thank God. I'm overweight and I have hypertension but that's kind of like saying you have an iPhone and a drive a sedan in that most people seem to fall into that category these days (not to dismiss them as being acceptable, mind you, just to say that I'm not out of the ordinary). Still, I was intrigued by the notion of a juice fast and cleanse. The idea of your body functioning purely off the liquid residuals of pulverized fruits and vegetables was fascinating if not somewhat baffling (notice I used the word "was" and not "is" in that sentence). Part of it was because I wanted to do something to benefit myself, however I will admit that another aspect of it was a desire just to try it for the sake of seeing how my body would react.

In the film, Cross' fast lasts for 60 days. I knew I wasn't going to do anything near that - as I told my wife, at some point I'm going to want a cheeseburger and I'm only going to be able to deny myself for so long. As it turned out, my fast lasted for the better part of 2 days before I decided to throw in the towel.

When I initially had the idea of doing a juice fast, I bought a juicer from the Walmart in Orangeburg, South Carolina. I can't help but be honest in stating that positive experiences with this particular Walmart have been few and far between for my wife & I, and I should've had that in mind when I went there with the expressed purpose of buying a juicer. I hadn't done a whole lot of research into juicers but I knew I didn't want to invest an arm and a leg in one. They had a Black & Decker model on display that caught my eye - it was a low-end device based on its price point but I figured it would work well enough for me. I have always gotten good performance out of the Black & Decker tools I own so my confidence in it as being a quality purchase was somewhat high. I grabbed it with haste just in case anyone else might have been eyeballing it at the same time as me because it was the only one of that particular model left on the shelf.

As I put the juicer's box up onto the conveyor at the checkout counter, I noticed that it appeared as though the tape on the packaging had been tampered with. Suddenly I became worried that this unit might have been purchased previously and returned. "It'll be alright", I told myself. "Just wash it out when you get it home to be safe..." When I opened the box at home, this is what I found.

 

As I feared, the juicer had in fact been purchased and returned. I had not counted on it having been purchased, used, returned, and then set out on the shelf for purchase again without every being inspected. I would like to blame the original purchaser for having lied to the staff at customer service about not having used or opened the juicer, but at the same time I blame Walmart for having not taken the time to inspect a return prior to pushing it back out onto the sales floor. To that end, I will say that when I took the juicer back to Walmart I met no resistance in making the return however the employee who reclaimed the device from me marked it as being defective. It might have been defective, or it might have worked fine - the truth of the matter is that I don't know. All I do know is that this almost turned me off to the prospect of juicing as a whole. As you might expect, I was quite grossed out by having brought God only knows what kind of refuse into my home. Even so, I put the money I was returned towards the purchase of a Hamilton Beach juicer which wound up being about $30 more expensive than the Black & Decker.

I've learned that when it comes to juicers (or juice extractors, as they seem to be referred to more commonly) there are two types, centrifugal and cold press. Centrifugal juicers are less expensive; they work by forcing the unlucky specimen to be juiced through a metal blade which spins at an incredibly high rate. The spinning motion helps to separate juice from pulp as the two diverge into separate containers. These juicers aren't seen as being the best option, nutritionally speaking, as the blade builds up heat and heat can lead to a loss of nutrients. Cold press juicers, on the other hand, are more expensive as they grind up their victims then press the resulting bits in order to squeeze out their vital fluids. Apparently they yield more juice as the process is more efficient and they don't generate as much heat so they produce a higher quality juice.

In preparation for my fast I did a fair amount of research (read, I Google'd something) regarding juice recipes. Full disclosure here; I wasn't looking at nutritional values when I considered recipes, rather I was trying to put together a menu of sorts that included concoctions I thought would be pleasing to my palette. I figured if I was going to be putting myself through this I should at least be having drinks that are tasty. Trust me when I say it's tough to figure out what's going to taste better when A) I have no idea what vegetable juice tastes like outside of a good, old fashioned V8 and B) my experience with raw vegetables is somewhat limited. If it hasn't shown up on one of the local salad bars or a pizza, chances are it is a completely foreign substance to me.

At the same time, when looking at recipes I tried to keep in mind the fact that our local grocer isn't exactly known for carrying what I'll refer to as exotic selections of flora and fauna. It's a Piggly Wiggly for crying out loud (or at least it is right now; Bi-Lo bought a bunch of the Pigs in the area and they're supposed to be converting them to Bi-Lo's soon), what do you expect?

As it would turn out, I was able to find a majority of the ingredients I went after - cucumbers, carrots, lemons, limes, apples, etc. I wound up having to substitute romaine for spinach as the only spinach to be had was a carton of baby spinach. Likewise, I had to omit other ingredients like beet root and ginger because they weren't available.

I don't remember the complete contents of my purchase but the grand total was in the area of $35. That wasn't too bad of an expense in my mind. I figured since these materials were going to replace my meals for the next few days $35 was reasonable when compared to the average per meal cost. I didn't realize this when I was in the store but my wife pointed out when I got home that a lot of discounts were in play according to the Pig's mail ad we'd received that same day (an effort on their part to clear the shelves as much as possible before Bi-Lo's stock arrives), and fruits & vegetables were included in the sale. I take the time to point this out because in actuality what I bought for $35 might have normally been much more than that.

This is as good a transition as any into talking about the cost of this endeavor as juicing is criticized as being an expensive approach to wellness. At this point I'd invested roughly $100 into the project between the $60 I paid for the juicer and the $35 spent on fruits & vegetables. Lets assume that I bought enough food to sustain myself for 3 days in that purchase. By this arrangement, were I to continue the fast for a longer period of time - say the entire week - I'd have been looking at spending $70 or more, which equals out to roughly $10 a day. That's not bad, so long as you're dedicated to doing what you're doing and can bear the burden. However, I will say that my wife and I typically spend in the area of $60-$70 per week on groceries; that's for the two of us and it includes a lot more than just a bunch of stunt doubles from VeggieTales. What I'm getting at here is that in terms of bang for your buck, it would appear that juicing isn't the most economical option but that should be no real surprise. For a number of logical and illogical reasons, fresh foods are simply more expensive than their boxed and canned counterparts.

I planned on starting my fast on a Saturday as I wanted to be at home when I kicked things off for fear of how my body might react. For my last meal, as it were, my wife and I ate dinner the night before at a local Sonic Drive-In. Yep, high class big spenders me and her, that's what we are. I had a large order of tots with chilli, cheese, and jalapenos while she had a corn dog. We wound up ordering desert as well, mine in the form of a small caramel java chiller and hers a molten cake sundae. I figure it was about as poor of a meal as could be had considering I was about to embark on a journey to health & wellness. My stomach apparently agreed with me as I had to make a number of emergency trips to the restroom during the night (FYI, I'm not done talking about bowel movements yet so stay tuned for more of that).

The next morning I made my first juice, a recipe that had been named "power punch". It was amusing to me when looking at recipes that most of them were given monikers that were affirming and overwhelmingly positive in nature. Looking through them made me feel as if I were going to be drinking a motivational poster instead of a juice cocktail. In hindsight, the motivational poster probably would've tasted better than some of the juices I put together.

Power punch consists of 1/3 of a pineapple, 1 lime (the original recipe called for 2 limes; I only used 1 in fear of 2 making it too tart), 1/2 of a cucumber, 6 romaine leaves (which I substituted in place of spinach), and 2 apples. I'm not lying when I tell you this was actually quite good, especially when it was ice cold. The pineapple juice paired up well with the apple and lime, making for a very refreshing beverage. True to its name, I did feel a boost of energy after I drank it. This was a good debut and it made me look forward to trying other combinations.

Unfortunately, power punch wound up being the only juice recipe I tried that didn't taste like I was drinking the scum scraped off the interior walls of a poorly maintained swimming pool. Not that I know what pool scum tastes like, mind you, but it seemed like an appropriate analogy. I blame this lack of palette-ability on the inclusion of cucumber juice in most of the other recipes. Admittedly, I am not the world's biggest fan of cucumber as I will eat it in a salad but not in large quantities and not without the addition of a dressing (because a suitable amount of ranch dressing can make anything taste better, that's why). The cucumber juice was oddly overpowering, even when mixed in with a variety of flavors. I use the word oddly there because cucumber doesn't normally come off as being especially pungent, although it was in this scenario.

I knew that preparing ingredients would be time consuming but I didn't know how time consuming it would wind up being. I'm unaccustomed to breaking down foods as part of my normal routine of receiving sustenance, meaning it probably wasn't as bad as it seemed to me but all the washing, peeling, and cutting got old quickly. I tried to use the time spent in prep mode to focus, not really meditating but at least concentrating on what I was doing and keeping a good internal monologue going. I was talking to myself about how much I'd sooner have been eating Chinese food, in other words.

The preparation wasn't the only aspect of this process that became a chore. Cleaning up after each juicing session might have been more bothersome than the prep work, if for no other reason than I wound up having to scrub the blade/strainer apparatus thoroughly after every juicing lest bits from the previous batch stay lodged in the device and affect either that juice or the performance of the machine. It became a hassle, is what I'm getting at, and that sensation built over the course of the weekend. Not only with the process but with the fact that I wasn't allowing myself to eat.

There's the real beast you wind up fighting when enduring this or any other kind of fast - the feelings of hunger and, in my case, its associate, the caffeine headache. By about 2 PM that first day I'd begun to feel empty, and this was after having had several juices and lots of water (water will only make you feel full for so long but it was quite good at rinsing out from my pie hole the putrid flavors I'd forced upon myself). I usually drink a cup of coffee in the morning and have a soda with my lunch, which is why I assume the headache was caffeine related although it could've been associated with my sinuses as I have random issues with allergies. At no point did I regret what I was doing and it wasn't as if I'd put myself in any kind of danger, I just didn't like being hungry because in my mind I knew I didn't have to be.

All this was compounded by the fact that my wife was out & about for a majority of the day as she had a handful of events to attend, meaning I was home alone with no one to express myself to other than Roddy, our beloved miniature Dachshund. I can talk to him but I have a feeling he only listens because he can't reach the treat bags himself.

I mentioned earlier the fact that the meal I had prior to kicking off my fast had an unexpected cleansing effect, if you catch my drift. It was a surprise because that's the kind of reaction I normally get from eating at Subway, not Sonic. I can only assume that because of this the juices didn't do what I'd expected them to do in the way of de-cluttering my colon. (Perhaps the juices I made weren't rich enough in fiber to do the job.) Other than when I was dealing with the residuals of my Sonic tots, I didn't poop at all that weekend. Not a once.

I kept up with my juicing into Sunday but by Sunday evening I'd had enough. Wifey was out of the house again, this time off to the theater with her Mom to see a live production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, and it was just about all I could do not to eat the entire contents of our kitchen (appliances and flatware included). I didn't like being hungry and I really didn't like the way my juices were tasting. At that point I gave in and made myself a ham & turkey sandwich with a side of Wheat Thins. Believe me when I tell you that food never tastes better than when you've gone without it for more than a day.

In wrapping this up I will say that my expectations for this experience were not met. I hoped to come away from it feeling revitalized and confident in the choice I'd made to try and improve my well being through wholesome consumption of pure nutrients. What I got was a piece of kitchen technology that I will more than likely rarely or never use again and a variety of leftover fruits & vegetables. I hope my depiction of what I went through would not dissuade others from juicing, though, as I will be the first to tell you that I lack the dedication to stick with something like this for a protracted length of time as being hungry is not fun. Those who do certainly are equipped with a greater constitution than I as it takes a lot of heart and mental toughness to stick with this or any other restrictive diet.

I'm not a nutritionist and I can't say that your results will be as fantastic as those of Joe Cross, but if you're in poor health or you're eating yourself to death this might not be a bad option. It is do-able, you just have to want to do it more so than anything else for it to be successful.