Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 3)

11-15-11 (Tuesday): I may be a 31 year old man on the outside, but inside still burns the youthful exuberance of a little boy eager to get out into the world and set off on adventure, hence the reason why I typically can’t get more than a few hours sleep per night during a trip like this one.  I guess if I have to endure insomnia while I’m on vacation at least I can take solace in the fact that it’s because of excitement and not stress or some other negative factor.

Jill would be getting up bright and early this morning, too, as we were scheduled to depart from the Dream at 7:45 AM in order to rendezvous with a tour group for an excursion that would take us across the entirety of Belize to the site of the Mayan ruins at Xunantunich.  I have always been fascinated by history and sociology; that said, it should come as no surprise that when we booked this cruise one of the activities that I absolutely wanted to do more than anything else was to visit a set of Mayan ruins.  The Mayans were an incredibly advanced culture and the structures they built are especially remarkable considering the tools and techniques which were used.  Having been erected more than a thousand years ago and bearing in mind that they were constructed by laborers working with nothing but their bare hands and what would now be considered rudimentary tools, one can’t help but marvel at these great structures from an era long passed.  I somehow doubt that anything built today will endure the tests of time as they have.

We received our breakfast from room service not long after our wake-up call.  There aren’t many things more comforting than having someone else prepare and bring you your food, which is why we took advantage of room service as often as possible (perhaps a bit more than we should have in one instance – that’s a story for another day).  Our feast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Danishes, juice, and bananas was quite delectable, but then again so is all of the food on these boats.  I persist in telling people when I talk about our cruise experiences that you could very well do nothing but eat the entire time you’re on one and be perfectly content.  Sure, you’d gain a pound or two (or twenty) but you’d be happy, nonetheless!

The Encore Theater served as something of a rallying point throughout the week for excursion activities whereby guests were staged before departure.  We gathered there with a large contingent of guests as it looked as though a great many of our fellow travelers would be enjoying excursions that particular day.  One by one, different groups were called to begin disembarkation, which was a bit of a different process this day than it would be any other during this cruise seeing as how in Belize there is no dock where ships the size of the Dream can make port.  To get to dry land we’d have to take tinder boats – smaller craft that ferry tourists from and to cruise ships.  Jill had imparted to me that this could potentially be a rough transition, going from a craft the size of an aircraft carrier to one not that much bigger than a good-sized pontoon boat.  Remember my comment about the spirit of an adventurous little boy still rattling around inside of me?  All I can say is that it tends to counter worries expressed by my wife in scenarios like this.  Much like when she was a nervous wreck before we boarded a plane for our flight to Las Vegas several years ago, I was as giddy and excited as could be.

Jill smiles for the camera onboard the tinder boat to Belize

Since ours was one of the first tinder boats out that morning, we were joined onboard by not only a throng of our fellow passengers but also by a rather large party of Carnival’s photographers.  They’re not particularly bothersome even though there are times where they can come off as being more than a smidge insistent (it’s their job to take pictures so that you’ll hopefully want to buy them, after all) and that their presence seems unnecessary, seeing as how there are certain disembarkation points are set up to where you can’t get off the ship without first having stopped to have your picture taken.  Fortunately this day we’d be getting to shore before they’d have a chance to set up, thereby unintentionally circumventing the system.

Passengers & photographers loading up, waiting for the tinder to leave

The ride away from the Dream on the tinder boat wasn’t at all rough; that comment comes off as though I was disappointed in it not being a challenge to my intestinal fortitude but I guess I was expecting it to be something that it wasn’t.  It was quite the site, pulling away from our home on the seas, seeing a boat the size of the Dream sitting off in the distance.  There were several other cruise ships that had set anchor that morning as well.  The only way to truly grasp how large these vessels are is to view them from far away.

Upon reaching the dock, we found our tour group congregating inside what would best be described as a food court.  There were a variety of cafes in this dockside building offering local cuisine.  I halfway wished we’d have had the time to partake in some of their wares seeing as how I’d have appreciated the opportunity to sample local foods (even though it’s likely what they were serving could’ve been homogenized versions of chow from the region made more palatable for us gringos), but it wasn’t long until our tour guides arrived and our journey was underway.  We boarded a comfortable, air conditioned tour bus (I point that out because the tropical – read, hot and humid – climate of Belize made it feel like July in South Carolina even though it was the middle of November) and were taken through the streets of Belize City.

The "food court" where we gathered with our tour group

There were several moments where I wasn’t sure how the bus was going to make it through the tight confines of the city, which is absolutely jammed with buildings; a mixture of homes and businesses, almost all of them made from cinderblocks.  Citizens of Belize are given the right by their government to lease land and after a certain number of years if they so decide they may purchase it outright.  Instead of taking out large loans, people of Belize will usually make improvements to their property as they acquire funds; this is why some structures were in use even though they appeared to have been only partially completed.  Because of the city’s appearance, an unreasonable observer would be quick to deem conditions there as being squalor however I contend that the people of Belize are just a simpler sort than us Americans.  They exist with what they require for their daily lives without the excesses that we’ve grown to think are necessary.

Our tour guides – Denise and Jake – were tremendously knowledgeable, as you might expect, and they pointed out a wealth of interesting facts about their homeland as we made our way through the city and countryside.  They were particularly impressive considering that they had material enough to keep us occupied for the duration of our trek to and from Xunantunich (Denise told us that we could remember how to pronounce Xunantunich by saying “tuna sandwich”), a 160 mile, 4 hour round trip.

Tour guide Denise - she kept us informed most of the way to Xunantunich

Tour guide Jake - he lead us around the site of the ruins

Belize is truly a diverse nation, its population made up of a combination of cultures that have converged to create a people more fitting the description of a melting pot that even the United States.  The national language is English (Belize was previously known as British Honduras, the last continental possession of the United Kingdom in the Americas) but you’re likely to encounter Spanish, Spanglish, Creole, and others depending on which region of the country you find yourself (there is a growing Asian influence on Belize and there are large settlements of German-speaking Mennonites as well).  Great importance is placed upon education in Belize as everyone is required to attain at least an Associate’s degree with penalties applied to those who refuse to advance themselves academically.  The Belizean government is similar to the parliamentary system in Britain (Queen Elizabeth II is their head of state) as the people are represented by a Prime Minister and cabinet ministers who are installed by the given dominant political party.

We learned that the Belizean dollar is worth half of an American dollar, meaning everything there is essentially twice as expensive compared to what we’re used to paying.  The high cost of fuel is why a majority of people live nearby where they work as doing so allows them to walk or take other, similarly efficient means of travel to and from their occupations.  A funny side story to their currency and its value is the fact that, at one point in time, there were Subway restaurants in Belize but not anymore.  As television providers began to bring in American programming, they unwittingly revealed to Subway’s Belizean customer base that we were paying $5 for foot-long sandwiches whereas Belizeans were paying upwards of $10.  The subsequent backlash against the restaurant chain drove them out of the country.  I don’t recall having seen any other familiar chain restaurants during our time in Belize, although one of our tour guides did mention that there have been rumors of a Wal-Mart being built there.

As we arrived at Xunantunich, our tour guides alerted us to the presence of members of the Belize Defence Force, the military of Belize.  We’d passed by a police checkpoint on the outskirts of Belize City and seen armed officers there but this was our first glimpse of actual military regulars on patrol.  The site of uniformed men carrying assault rifles isn’t exactly an everyday occurrence for us making it a slightly disconcerting experience, but we were assured that these soldiers were there for our protection.  The BDF have a vested interest in protecting Xunantunich from looters as it is an important cultural landmark and also because of the site’s proximity to the border with Guatemala.

This man is a BDF soldier - there were several of them on site at all times

After getting off the tour bus we passed by a group of shops set up by locals to sell a variety of textiles, crafts, and wood carvings.  There’s no gentle way to say this; we were warned that the people who work in these facilities will set upon anyone who shows an interest in their goods like hyenas on a wounded zebra.  In response to that, I would say that aggressive sales tactics are nothing new; these folks are ultimately sales people competing with each other and working to feed their families by acquiring money that is worth twice as much as their local currency – what else would you expect?

Members of our group passing by shops outside Xunantunich

Local Belizeans selling crafts and other wares outside Xunantunich

In order to reach the ruins we’d first have to cross a river by way of a hand-cranked ferry.  A patchwork of rusted metal and wood cobbled together with bolts and other fasteners, the ferry is a remarkable piece of engineering.  I’m not sure how old this particular ferry is but I think it would be safe to say that it’s been in use at least as long as I’ve been alive.  It should be noted that we were alerted to the waters below being home to alligators, piranha, and assorted other ornery beasts.  Once we were across the river, we were loaded into passenger vans that would carry us the remaining few miles to the site of the ruins.

The hand-cranked ferry at Xunantunich

The hand-crank itself

Belize is a lush terrain; its verdant nature was at its most evident as we neared the site.  Walking past the visitors’ center and up a hill that leads to the ruins, we found ourselves in a jungle, surrounded by a beautiful assortment of towering trees, vibrant flowers, and plants we’d never before seen.

Our tour group, preparing to enter the visitors center

Our tour guide Jake directed us through a cultural center that displayed a collection of artifacts that had been excavated from Xunantunich and also depicted the history of the site.  It’s believed that Xunantunich was once an important ceremonial center to the Mayan people but was abandoned possibly because of the structures having been damaged by an earthquake.  The earthquake may have not only damaged the temples there but also the spiritual beliefs of the people, for the Mayans worshipped celestial bodies and recognized tribal leaders as being capable of influencing or otherwise controlling their deities.  An incident such as a major earthquake could’ve been perceived as a sign of weakness and might have lead to an uprising by the lower classes of people against their leaders.

Jake was a tremendous asset all along the tour

Members of our group looking at a scale replica of Xunantunich

We were guided past several smaller constructs before we finally had our chance to experience El Castillo (a Spanish term meaning “the castle” used to describe the pyramid), the tallest structure at Xunantunich.  I had another youthful exuberance spasm as Jake told us about the significance of the smaller buildings – I kept looking at El Castillo and saying to myself, “Can we go climb it now?!”  When Jake finally said it was time to make our ascent, I was absolutely captivated as we approached it.  Much like our cruise ship, you can’t fully appreciate the vastness of an object as large as El Castillo until you’ve seen it with proper perspective.  To think that this was built more than a thousand years ago yet still stands to this day is awe-inspiring.

Our first glimpse of El Castillo

Jill standing in front of one of the smaller temples at Xunantunich

The summit of El Castillo off in the distance

My excitement at being able to mount a personal expedition to the summit of El Castillo lasted a little less than half-way up the temple at which point in time my lungs caught fire and every muscle in my legs screamed at the torment I’d put them through.  I know I’m out of shape but if I’d had any delusions to the contrary they’d have been thoroughly smashed by the stresses I felt at that point.  Chalk it up to a combination of fear at the prospect of climbing what amounts to a sheer rock wall (the Mayans, despite their advanced culture, had yet to grasp the concept of hand rails) and the fatigue I was feeling, but I actually told my wife that I’d wait there at the mid-point for her.  She would have none of that, though, and quickly reminded me that it was my idea to have taken this excursion in the first place.

In case you're wondering, that's the face I make when I'm exhausted

Onward and upward we went, taking a path that I have no qualms with admitting scared the living daylights out of me.  I’m not necessarily afraid of heights however I do have some concerns about falling from a great height.  “You probably won’t even feel it…After you break your neck, that is.” I thought to myself, considering the prospect of tumbling off the side of El Castillo like a sack of potatoes.  Given our situation – that being stuck between a man-made mountain of stone and a drop of certain death with nothing but air separating us from either – those fears were never more real than they were as we came within reach of the top of El Castillo.  It wasn’t until we were at the summit that the panic subsided and I realized the rush of adrenaline I’d been feeding off of to get me through the trek.  I’ve never done recreational drugs but I doubt even the most glamorous of pharmacology could duplicate the sensation of accomplishment I had while staring out into the distance, across Belize and Guatemala.  The Mayans worshipped celestial bodies; the irony that they’d inadvertently allowed me to get just about as close to heaven as possible while still touching the ground wasn’t lost on me.  We took a moment to enjoy the view, snap a few pictures, and take a quick rest before it was time to make our way back down to Terra Firma.

Looking back across the plaza as we made our way up El Castillo

Members of our group passing under a stucco frieze on one side of El Castillo

The view from the edge of El Castillo out over the plaza - 130 feet down

Me on top of El Castillo - very tired but very glad to have made it the whole way

Jill at the top of El Castillo - the weather was beautiful in Belize that day

Other members of our group pausing to enjoy the view from the summit

Once our group had reconvened at a ball court near the base of El Castillo, Jake described the significance of competition to the Mayan people while I tried to collect myself.  I was physically wiped out and the adrenaline was wearing off, but I still reveled at the fact that I’d only minutes prior been standing on top of a monument stretching 130 feet straight up into the air.  With that, our tour of Xunantunich was over – it was an amazing experience and certainly one that I will never forget.

Exhausted but still rockin'

On our way back to Belize City we stopped at a restaurant for a taste of local cuisine.  Our tour guides had told us earlier in the day that we would be sampling a local delicacy they refer to as bamboo chicken – they said that bamboo chicken isn’t like the chicken we know because it doesn’t have feathers, is green, and climbs trees.  Bamboo chicken, as it turns out, isn’t chicken at all – it’s iguana!  Fortunately, they were kidding with us about it being part of our meal.  I was so famished by then that they could’ve served me barbequed sewer rat and I’d have probably eaten it with a smile on my face.  We dined on actual chicken that had been heavily seasoned so that it had a flavor similar to jerk chicken, coleslaw, a fried plantain, and a serving of beans & rice.  On the table was an assortment of hot sauces made by a company in Belize called Hot Mama’s.  I’m a condiment aficionado, hot sauces in particular; Jill and I both fell in love with their sweet pepper sauce, so much so that we bought several bottles of it (we should’ve bought several more as we’ve found many uses for it since returning home).  The real star of the meal, for me, was the beans and rice which is a staple dish in Belize.  The recipe calls for the beans and rice to be cooked in coconut milk, adding a rich, deep flavor to what might be otherwise mistaken as a fairly pedestrian combination.  To wash down our meal we were given the choice of Coca-Cola or Coca-Cola Light, otherwise known as Diet Coke. (There is only one bottling company in Belize and they handle Coke products, water, and beer; talk about a monopoly!) I took the opportunity to try a local beer called Belikin, a tasty lager that was crisp and refreshing in the heat of the day.

After she finished eating, Jill went over to peruse a set of merchandise tables put up near the restaurant.  We have a collection of refrigerator magnets that grows by the year as we try to get a different magnet for each vacation spot we visit.  They’re simple baubles but they’re some of my most treasured possessions.  As luck would have it, one of the vendors there had a magnet depicting El Castillo with “BELIZE” and “XUNANTUNICH” carved into it – it couldn’t have been a more perfect example of the kind of things we look for when selecting a keepsake of our travels.

The trip back to port felt longer than it had in the morning (not for lack of effort by our driver who took full advantage of the fact that there is no highway patrol in Belize, nor are there speed limits on the main highways), probably because my knees and lower back were still complaining about what I’d put them through earlier in the day.  In times like those I try to remind myself of a song lyric that goes “scars are memories you never lose”, so instead of complaining about the pain I chose to fondly recall the adventure of the day.  We were back at the dock just in time to catch one of the final tinder boats back to the Dream.

That evening we had dinner and discussed the events of the day with our tablemates.  It was always fun to trade stories of what we’d each encountered.  I’m sure that sense of camaraderie is what the folks at Carnival hope for when they assemble seating arrangements; I couldn’t imagine being stuck at a table with people who were either disagreeable or un-personable.  After dinner we saw the evening’s performance in the Encore Theater then changed out of our monkey suits (a term I affectionately use to describe attire that isn’t casual in nature) before heading to the lido deck for a laser tribute to the music of Pink Floyd and Rush.  I like both of those bands, personally, but I think this was a presentation better suited to folks who appreciate the psychedelic nature of tunes from the era in which these groups were so popular, if you catch my drift.  We concluded our evening in the best method we could think of – pizza from the lido deck followed by milk & cookies brought to our stateroom.  Ah, the luxury of 24-hour room service!

11-16-11 (Wednesday): When we went through the process of scheduling our excursions for this cruise, we knew that we would more than likely be tired coming off of our tour of Xunantunich.  That being the case, we decided to do something during our visit to Isla Roatan (which is also referred to as Mahogany Bay) that would be nothing but pure relaxation – a day spent at the Parrot Bay resort where we’d be treated to sun, sand, and (of course) an all-you-can-eat buffet.

As we began to get ready, I spotted a note that had been passed under our door.  The letter was to notify us that a change had been made to our itinerary so that we would be leaving later than scheduled.  We were concerned that this would cut into our time at Parrot Bay and wanted more information, so after we’d gotten dressed and had breakfast on the lido deck (scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and grits with freshly made salsa) we began walking to the guest services desk.  No sooner than we’d set off in its direction, our cruise director came over the ship’s public address system and informed us that we would not be able to dock at Roatan due to high winds and large swells near the port.  Our captain had made several attempts to enter the channel but ultimately decided that it would be unsafe to proceed.

This was about as close as we'd get to Roatan

Admittedly I was upset that we wouldn’t be able to go to Roatan as I was looking forward to all the things Parrot Bay has to offer.  I even went so far as to say to Jill (jokingly, of course) that I should go to the bridge and get hold of whatever joystick it is that controls the ship, thinking I could whip it into port without issue.

I’m writing this blog entry several months after our voyage and since our trip there’s been a terrible tragedy involving a cruise ship – that being the grounding of the Costa Concordia which coincidentally happens to be owned by a company that operates under the same umbrella as Carnival Cruises.  People I know who are aware of my enjoyment of cruises have made comments to me along the lines of “I bet you wouldn’t get on one of those boats now!”  To think that an incident involving a horrible decision made by one misguided captain is indicative of the safety practices of an entire industry is just about the most asinine frame of mind one could possibly have.  I’m not sure what the requirements are in Europe but on the cruises we’ve taken the first thing every passenger must do prior to the ship leaving port is participate in a muster drill where you are instructed on what to do in case of an evacuation.  The crew explains to you where the lifeboats are, how you’ll get to them, and how to properly wear life preservers.  The fact that our captain on the Dream made the decision not to force the ship into port the day we were to have visited Roatan, to me, expresses that the men and women who helm these boats are by in large qualified individuals who have the safety of their passengers at the forefront of every decision they make.  I’d get on a cruise ship tomorrow if I had the opportunity.

Since we were both wearing our bathing suits and hadn’t yet figured out what we were going to be doing with our impromptu day at sea, we decided to spend some time in one of several hot tubs that line the perimeter of the promenade deck.  After spending about an hour soaking in the bubbly water, we were about as relaxed as could be imagined.  Even so, we one-upped the sensation by settling into a couple lounge chairs and took ourselves a nap.  If you’ve never slept in the shade with a cool sea breeze blowing across your body, I highly recommend it!  When we’d napped sufficiently we came back to our stateroom, showered, and decided it was time for lunch – a feast consisting of a variety of sandwiches and salads from room service would be delivered not too long after we placed our order via the interactive guest services menu in our stateroom (this was a new feature to the Carnival cruising experience as our other boat, the Sensation, wasn’t equipped with this when we’d sailed on it for our honeymoon).

Room service - it's never a bad idea

Eating Caesar salads in bed is okay, right?

The entertainment staff onboard put together a spur of the moment revue for us that afternoon, and despite its haphazard nature it was genuinely one of (if not the most) enjoyable shows we would see the entire week.  The highlight of it was a song called “Upon the Sea” performed by a handful of the staff and several of dancers.  To sum it up, the gist of the skit was that they were each representing what they’d be doing if they were not sailing upon the seas – the song wasn’t what made it, though, rather it was the motions each character added to the lyrics that put it over the top!  I only wish I’d been recording it as I could never describe the scene and do justice to how hilarious it was.

Members of the Dream's entertainment staff performing "Upon the Sea"

After the show we ventured out to the Fun Shops, a set of unique specialty stores located around the ship’s atrium (which is more or less the center point of the boat as it is an incredibly ornate shaft – for lack of a better term – that travels up through each of the decks).  More specifically, Jill braved the mass of humanity that was clamoring around tables outside the Fun Shops (picture it as a Black Friday-esque horde of shoppers) while I found a comfortable couch nearby to sit and watch a cornhole tournament being held on one of the lower decks.  The Fun Shops offer a variety of products but jewelry is the predominant merchandise, and on this particular day there was a sale going on for Pandora-like (read, Pandora knock-offs) bracelets.  Jill managed to get the attention of a sales person and ask for a specific color of bracelet while everyone else seemed to be content to pick through whatever they could find on the tables.  The clerk was helpful and located exactly what my wife was after.

I’ve neglected to mention up until this point in the story another consequence of our excursion to Parrot Bay having been cancelled.  The cost of this excursion was around $200 for the both of us – since we didn’t get to go, that meant the fee would be refunded to our onboard expense account (remember, these boats don’t operate by way of cash), which in turn meant that we suddenly had a decent amount of spending money that we hadn’t anticipated.  We’d been very frugal with our purchases throughout the trip thus far, and the refund actually wiped out our account balance leaving us with a surplus.  We figured why not take advantage of it – Jill used some of it to purchase her bracelets and a few other items but the real trophies that we earned by way of having the extra money was a set of photos taken during formal nights.  Jill and I don’t often have pictures made and these shots were ultimately too good to pass up.  I was still disappointed that we didn’t get to visit Roatan, but having those pictures means a lot to me as they’re memories of one of the best occasions either of us have ever experienced, forever preserved for us to enjoy.

There was no production in the Encore Theater that night but there was a slightly modified version of Family Feud – the entertainment staff referred to it as Family Face-Off; believe it or not, there’s a lot of concern expressed on these boats about protecting intellectual properties – played on the stage therein.  Games of this nature are a mainstay on cruises.  You can’t go far from one area of the ship to another during the day without encountering a game of bingo, trivia, cornhole, or something similar (and yes, karaoke events are held almost every night).

Cruise director Jaime hosting Family Face-Off

What better way to conclude our completely spontaneous day of rest and relaxation than with a frosty beverage?  For us, this means having a Kiss on the Lips – a mixed drink found exclusively on the ships making up Carnival’s fleet made with peach schnapps, frozen mango puree, and a touch of grenadine for color.

Our favorite drink on Carnival's boats - Kiss on the Lips

Next stop, Costa Maya – our final port of call for this cruise!

Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 2)

11-13-11 (Sunday): It takes almost two days travel to reach the Western Caribbean from our point of origin along the Eastern coast of Florida (for those of you who aren’t exactly up to speed when it comes to the geography of Central America).  This being the case, there would be two occasions on this particular cruise where we would not be pulling into port.  Carnival refers to these moments as Fun Days at Sea as they provide travelers an opportunity to roam about the ship and enjoy all that it has to offer (read, spend money as much money as possible).

Our first Fun Day at Sea began bright and early, for which I can certainly be blamed.  I never can bring myself to sleep in anymore, or so it seems, apparently not even whilst we’re on vacation (“My mind is a raging torrent…” as Hedley Lamarr once said).  We were up around 7:30 AM and once we’d gotten ready we decided to have breakfast in the dining room.  The dining rooms aren’t always open for breakfast or lunch (lido deck is usually the place to be for morning fare), which is why we wanted to take the time to enjoy a meal there at that time of day.

Sunrise while cruising in the Western Caribbean.

Jill and I both turned off our cell phones when we boarded the ship (cellular service – as well as WiFi – is available at sea and in the ports of call we’d be visiting, however we saw no point in paying the ridiculous rates required to maintain connectivity to a network).  We had absolutely no desire whatsoever to be bothered by things that might have been going on back home and especially not with the goings on of our individual workplaces.  Why then it was that for breakfast we managed to be seated at a table with two men who engaged in a struggle to one-up each other with their respective life stories and career paths is beyond me.  By the time Jill and I were finished eating they were still yapping away at one another, trading yarns about how much money they’d made (and subsequently lost on one venture or another) – for all I know they may still be at it.

After breakfast, we wandered onto the promenade deck.  Promenade is an interesting place in that it’s a focal point of the ship, similar to lido deck.  There are a number of specialty restaurants and lounges on this deck and the casino is also located therein (yes, much like in Las Vegas you will see people pulling on those “one armed bandits” all hours of the day).  The portion of promenade on the Carnival Dream that extends outside features several saunas and a walking track that allows guests to circumnavigate the entire boat.

Reverend Charles Stanley, presiding over his...Constituents.

While we were walking around outside, Jill and I came upon a gigantic chess board, so of course I took the opportunity to challenge her to a game, fully aware of the fact that she’d never played chess before (truth be told, I hadn’t played in ages either and this was proven by my having set the board up incorrectly by getting the positioning of the knights and bishops backwards).  We began the game and I instructed Jill as to the movements of each piece and the objective of the game as we went along; it wasn’t a serious contest by any means as I wanted her to have fun with the experience.

Balcony staterooms on the upper decks have a direct view of promenade’s exterior portion, so it wasn’t long before Jill and I found ourselves performing for an audience.  On top of that, two young boys from Guatemala joined in our game.  One of them spoke English rather well, conveniently enough.  It happened that he was fairly skilled in the game of chess and he began directing Jill on what to do.  It wasn’t long before I found myself playing without much more than my queen, a pawn, and a bishop (which, to put it in terms of football, is like trying to run an offense with nothing but your starting quarterback’s mom, a punter, and a ball boy).  Suffice to say that it bruised my ego to have been bested by my wife and a 10 year old (I’m pretty sure I could’ve taken him if we were playing HALO, though).  After the game, we retired to the lido deck for cones of soft-serve iced cream before returning to our stateroom for an afternoon of pure laziness.

Jill receiving strategic advice from her instructor, who she named Pedro.

That evening would be the first of two elegant nights aboard the Dream.  As you might expect, elegant nights are those where guests are encouraged to wear formal attire – suits, gowns, and the like.  Personally speaking, I happen to loathe this type of dress, not only because it is incredibly uncomfortable but also because it serves no function whatsoever (other than to make me uncomfortable, that is).  Be that as it may, I’ve been told that I clean up well and it goes without saying that my wife is a real looker all the time but especially so when she’s all dolled-up.

As an aside to my commentary on the matter of formalwear, I’d like to mention Leonardo, our stateroom steward, who did an excellent job in handling our laundry. (I was quick to point out to Jill how awesome it was to have a steward named after a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.) Leo, as I began referring to him, was a great help to us on several occasions.  I can point to his near constant presence as evidence that the folks who work to service quests on these boats earn their keep.

Photo opportunities are frequent on these boats as Carnival employs a small army of photographers and they are especially active on formal nights.  Guests can have their picture taken as often as they’d like however the photos aren’t included in the price of your cruise as there’s an additional charge per photo if you choose to purchase them (there’s no obligation to buy any of them, though). Photos are such a big deal that there’s an entire section of one deck encircling the grand atrium which is essentially nothing but a gigantic display wall where you may check out your photos before buying them.  Jill and I stopped at many of the paparazzi stations as we were on our way to dinner that evening; we weren’t necessarily planning on buying any of them but we don’t have professional photos done very frequently so we figured why not take advantage of the chance.

I'll never know what a beast like me did to earn a beauty like her.

As we entered the dining room and made our way to our table we noticed that our tablemates were already there!  Kevin and Kelly Gaines, a young couple similar to us in age; no surprise there as I’m certain that sort of thing goes into the maître d’s decision-making process when determining who gets seated where.  We exchanged pleasantries, introduced ourselves, and allowed the conversation to flow where it may.  Fortunately they are not socially awkward people as we got along well and enjoyed dining together throughout the week.

There is a wealth of entertainment options to be enjoyed during the evening hours and it’s quite easy to find something to keep you rolling into the wee hours of the day whether your tastes gravitate towards the mild or the wild.  For example, if high-energy dance music is your thing there are several clubs on board the Dream that specialize in specifically that in the form of Club O2 and Caliente.  On the other hand, if you prefer the sounds of someone tickling the ivories there’s Sam’s Piano Bar.  The casino is always an active place where you can get your fix of everything from Texas hold ‘em to penny slots.  The Dream is one of several Carnival boats to offer movie nights where recent releases are shown on a gigantic screen set above the main pool on lido deck (NFL football was the order of the day on Sunday and Monday nights).  For Jill and I, the places to be in the evenings were the Encore Theater and the Punchliner Comedy Club.

The Encore Theater is, as the name would indicate, a full-scale performance space complete with an orchestra pit, sound and lighting equipment, and everything else you would expect in a theater based on land. (It bears stating here that throughout the week I continuously marveled at the fact that we were inside a boat and not some gigantic building.) The show Sunday evening was a tribute to Motown; while I’ll admit that rhythm and blues isn’t exactly my favorite genre of music (there was no tribute to heavy metal, sadly), you have to admire the skill of those involved with productions like this.  I have trouble walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time, which is why the prospect of singing while remembering choreography seems impossibly complicated.

After the show we walked the length of the boat, all the way down to the Punchliner Comedy Club.  To me, the Punchliner was one of the most comfortable spaces we’d visit on the Dream.  I can’t pinpoint specifically what it was that made me feel this way, there was just something soothing to me about it.  The room is dimly lit but colored with shades of deep red – garnet, crimson, and what have you – and is adorned with a multitude of court jester masks (appropriate, considering the theme).  Hosting events in the Punchliner was a Dream staffer who was known simply as Jeff the Fun Dude.  Every night JFD would introduce the headlining comedian and also do a short opening bit to warm up the crowd.  The headliner this evening was comedian Hal Spear whose claim to fame is having been a writer for the improvisational comedy TV show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”.  His set was indicative of this as most of it centered around his ability to poke fun at situations that developed during his performance where he’d interact with the audience.  His was a fun show and probably the best comedic performance we’d see all week.

The view from our table inside the Punchliner Comedy Club.

We’d had a full day at sea and by this time of night we were ready for some rest, for tomorrow we’d be in Cozumel, Mexico!

11-14-11 (Monday): I woke up before I was hoping to yet again this particular morning, but I can’t say that I don’t appreciate having done so because if I hadn’t I might have missed our arrival to Cozumel.  I truly cannot say enough about how great the balcony staterooms are in providing such picturesque views – not only was seeing the sunrise each morning a beautiful event to behold but witnessing our approaches to the various ports of call were captivating.  Seeing these new lands was like discovering something wholly new and exciting.

After getting ourselves together we headed up to lido for breakfast.  It is fully within reason that a person might gain 20 pounds or more while on a cruise and this breakfast was proof as to why it could happen.  I had a plate loaded to the gills with sausages (which were labeled on the buffet as being “bangers and mash” – I’m pretty sure whoever made that sign didn’t know what bangers and mash actually is), bacon, ham, hashbrowns, and scrambled eggs along with a steaming bowl of grits which I’d loaded up with butter and salsa (I grew up eating tomato with my grits and the salsa is a natural extension of that, I think).  To say it was a satisfying feast would be a terrible understatement of just how happy my stomach was afterwards.

Jill and I scheduled several shore excursions for this cruise and we’d be taking one titled “Salsa & Salsa” during our stop in Cozumel.  Shore excursions are pre-planned events arranged through Carnival which cruisers may choose to participate in (they aren’t included in the baseline price of your cruise) however they are conducted by local companies, not Carnival.  Guests can make private bookings on their own through tour agencies, but there’s risk involved with doing so.  These boats operate on tight schedules and while they do allow travelers time to wander and explore at each port they will not wait around for stragglers.  That said, the danger in making private arrangements is that if your return to the boat is delayed you may find yourself also making private arrangements back home.  This isn’t the case with shore excursions booked through Carnival as they provide secure transport to and from the event, and also offer the assurance that you will not be left behind should delays occur.

Having been to Cozumel previously, Jill let me know in advance that before we entered the city we’d first have to pass through a mall filled with tax and duty free items – it was a long line of shops that sold liquor, cigarettes, and random other novelties on the cheap, in other words. (As a word of advice to the untraveled, you can buy a certain volume of booze without paying tax while on cruises however the bottles will be confiscated upon your return to the boat; they will not be returned to you until you are back at your point of origin at which time you may be required to pay taxes on them if you’ve bought more than you’re allotted.) It was a scene of somewhat controlled chaos inside the mall with people moving in steady procession through the space.  We didn’t stop and look at many of the items therein, mainly because we were more interested in making our way into Cozumel than we were with the wares offered on the pier.

Inside the duty free shops of Cozumel.

Low and behold, what was waiting for us on the other side of the mall was none other than more shops, albeit ones offering a greater variety of trinkets, souvenirs, and assorted other items sure to grasp the attention of tourists with heavy wallets (or at least high spending limits on their credit cards).  We spent some time browsing the stores before meeting up with the other members of our tour group.  There was much in the way of pottery and ceramics along with some pieces of woodwork that I found interesting in that it all seemed to be hand-crafted yet still mass-produced which, in my mind, took away from the uniqueness of the items.  Even so, there was an amazing assortment, and I found myself tickled at the fact that quite a few of the souvenirs were of an adult nature – nothing too incredibly vulgar or obscene, but suffice to say that if you’re a parent you may want to avoid certain of these shops when travelling with your children else you might find yourself having to answer questions about things you aren’t yet prepared to explain.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big fan of professional wrestling, which happens to be quite popular in Mexico and across a majority of Latin America.  There, it’s referred to as Lucha Libre and is a much different style of wrestling than what fans are accustomed to in the United States.  Grapplers in Mexico quite often wrestle while wearing masks and these masks become their identity.  Fittingly enough, it happened that one of the shops we visited in Cozumel had a sprawling collection of masks worn by Mexican wrestlers – I bought two of them for $20.

Lucha Libre masks for sale in Cozumel - there were many more of them!

Before long it was time to leave for our excursion, so we made our way back to the rallying point near the pier.  Our group for this tour would be a small one, just seven guests including Jill and myself.  We were taken by passenger vans from the area near port to the Hotel Cozumel, a posh resort located right on the ocean and known for its three-dolphin logo. (The ride from was an interesting one in that we discovered quickly that the area near the pier had definitely been “dolled-up”, for lack of a better phrase; I don’t mean to say that the city is a wretched hive by any means but the façades rapidly faded once we were away from the area nearest the port.) Once there, we were introduced to our instructors who would be teaching us how to make several different types of salsa and then later how to dance the salsa – I wasn’t exactly sure how the latter part of the plan was going to work out seeing as how “free-flowing margaritas” were a major selling point for this excursion.  We were taught how to make traditional salsas and guacamole using a molcajete (pronounced like “molk-a-het-aye”), which is essentially a mortar and pestle.  The highlight of the culinary portion of the excursion for me had to be the desert salsa which was served with what was the most amazing vanilla iced cream I’ve ever had.  I know it’s odd to be enamored with something so seemingly pedestrian as vanilla iced cream, but it had such a rich, creamy vanilla flavor!  Overall, our time with the dancing chefs of Salsa & Salsa was a lot of fun and a very exceptional experience.  I can’t say that I can dance any better now than I could before we left for the cruise, but I do think I can make a pretty tasty bowl of salsa.

Jill and I with our Salsa & Salsa group, and our instructors Leonie and Alexis.

We bounced around a few more shops before walking back through the duty free mall on our way to the boat.  We had a better chance to look around the joint then as there weren’t the better part of 4,000 people trying to get through it all at once.

Dinner that evening was a more casual affair than it had been the night previous as we could dress-down and be more comfortable but still somewhat dressy.  We had a good time recounting the day’s events with our tablemates who’d ventured farther into the city for a shopping trip (they had an advantage over us in that Kelly speaks Spanish; if I had it to do over again I’d have taken Spanish in high school instead of 3 years of French – probably the most useless courses I ever took, and that’s saying a lot considering the kinds of math I’ve studied).  After the meal, we went back to the room for a little while to change clothes and allow Jill a chance to rest her head. (It appeared as though someone might have had a little much tequila during the day…) She felt well enough to go to the photo wall with me and look at what we’d taken the night before but she opted out of going to the Punchliner with me.  I capped off the evening by sitting in the bar of the casino to watch part of the NFL game (they’ll air programming like the game in question around different areas of the boat but not in passenger staterooms where the TVs carry about a dozen channels, 8 of which are informational loops reporting data pertaining to the ship) before going to the comedy club for a few laughs.

When I returned to our stateroom, I found a note Jill had left for me with her breakfast order to be left for room service.  We’d both need sustenance in the morning as we would be arriving in Belize for another early day and one of the greatest adventures of our lives.

Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 1)

Well before my wife and I got married but after I'd asked for her hand, I made a promise to her that our life together would be an adventure.  I'd like to think it's lived up to that guarantee thus far.

We began the process of putting our vacation together more than a year ago.  If you didn't know, when booking a cruise it's much better to do so as far in advance as possible seeing as how the cruise lines raise their rates as the date of departure nears.  We wanted to have this trip serve as a follow up to our honeymoon, almost as if we were turning going on a cruise into an annual event, but we knew that we wouldn't be able to take the trip so close to our anniversary (which is in May) seeing as how we'd both be using up a majority of our vacation time for our yearly trek to Myrtle Beach in June.  Our sights were set on sailing to the Western Caribbean but the potential perils of hurricane season weighed heavily on our minds when looking at cruise itineraries in that part of the world, which is why we decided November would be as good a time of year as any.  We'd sailed on the Carnival Sensation for our honeymoon; the Sensation is a great boat and one with a fairly interesting history (it was loaned to the government in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina for use as a refuge for people who'd been displaced by the storm and then put through a complete refit thereafter) but I wanted to experience one of the bigger, more modern vessels in Carnival's fleet.  Our honeymoon was also a fairly short trip, a 4-day jaunt to the Bahamas, and I was desiring something more lengthy.  All factors having been considered, we booked a 7-day cruise on board the Carnival Dream - one of Carnival's newest and largest ships - with stops in port at Cozumel, Belize, Isla Roatan, and Costa Maya.

To say that the weeks and months leading up to the cruise were somewhat agonizing would be an understatement.  Every so often we would remind each other of the fact that our trip was inching its way ever nearer, dangling out in front of us like a carrot - only this wasn't a carrot, this was more like a porterhouse steak cooked to perfection and served with all the trimmings. (It's fitting that I use a food analogy in this context because Jill and I have noticed that when we plot our vacations it invariably turns out that much of them are centered around things we want to eat or visiting restaurants we want to experience.) When we were less than a month away from setting sail, the both of us were just about as giddy as I can ever remember having been.  We normally take a few small trips throughout the year but we hadn't been anywhere this year since our Myrtle Beach trip, which meant we'd essentially been cooped up at home for nearly six months.  Suffice to say that we were chomping at the bit to get out on the road again.

This was the fortune I received from Red Bowl Asian Bistro the night before we left.

As I've detailed previously, packing for this trip was a definite challenge or at least it was for me.  I hadn't considered the logistics of wrangling enough clothes for a 7-day voyage that includes several formal occasions when we were booking this trip.  Fortunately, my bags had enough give to them that I was able to get everything packed but they couldn't save me from a bit of lighthearted ridicule from my wife who managed to only need one suitcase (which should count as at least 2 because her suitcase is only slightly smaller than a Smart Car) whereas I had two suitcases plus a duffel bag and my backpack.  I wound up bringing way more clothes than I would need, but as the old saying goes I'd sooner have had it and not needed it than needed it and not had it.

Our vacation began the morning of November 11, 2011 - Veterans Day.

11-11-11 (Friday): It finally hit me that we were about to leave for a trip to Mexico as I was loading our luggage into the car.  Loading luggage being the point where the rubber meets the road, as it were, when it comes to fantasies of a vacation materializing into something much more substantive.  What would we do, what would we see, who would we meet, and so many other questions danced around in my head, all swirling about each other with excitement over getting the opportunity to do something so unique as this.

When planning for our honeymoon last year, I knew we wouldn't be able to make the entire drive from South Carolina to Florida the day of our wedding as we would be getting married in the afternoon and would most certainly have much revelry to enjoy before departing.  That being the case, I looked for an oasis along the route which would allow us an opportunity to get some rest.  I found such a spot in the form of Kingsland, Georgia - pretty much the last town in the peach state you encounter traveling south on I-95 before entering Florida.

We stopped for lunch at a Cracker Barrel not far from Savannah.  Cracker Barrel might have been an odd choice for a first date, but their location in Orangeburg was where Jill and I first met and for this reason those restaurants will always be special to us.  The meal was quite tasty, however the real treat from our stop there was when I validated my genius-level IQ via the golf tee peg board game featured on each table in every Cracker Barrel.

Straight up skills, yo...

There are many hotels and restaurants around Kingsland as the town has definitely seized the chance to welcome road-weary travelers.  For our honeymoon, we'd stayed at a Best Western and I think I'll always remember the process of checking into that hotel well after midnight while standing in line with many other folks who were closer to being asleep than they were awake (the other resounding memory from that night being Jill's struggle to remove all the make-up and hairspray that had been put on her).  This time through we stayed at a Days Inn which was modestly priced and adequate for our needs but not nearly as nice as the Best Western.

After checking in, we kicked back and relaxed for a few hours.  When dinner-time rolled around I had it in mind that I wanted to try a local restaurant instead of a chain.  I had looked up several potentials before we'd left home; we narrowed down our search by glancing over the local Yellow Pages and had it in mind to try the Bonzai Japanese Steakhouse.  To say that Jill was apprehensive about dining there after we arrived would be selling short her reaction.  Truth be told, it was dark and the decor outside the restaurant wasn't all that inviting but the parking lot was somewhat full (although that could've been attributable to the fact that several other restaurants were adjacent to Bonzai).  We road by a few other restaurants - all chains - and most of them appeared to be near capacity which was no surprise given it was a Friday evening.

Somewhat begrudgingly, Jill agreed to eat at Bonzai after all.  From her hesitance to get out of the car, you'd have thought she was under the impression I was leading her into some kind of den of horrors.  Fortunately, this meal would be one of the more memorable dining experiences (for good reasons) of the entire trip.  The interior of the restaurant was nothing like the outside; very brightly lit and welcoming, albeit somewhat cramped (I'll admit that isn't an unbiased statement seeing as how a space that cramps a person my size would be perfectly comfortable for most people).  The food was quite good and our chef was entertaining with his constant-yet-mostly-unintelligible banter ("Yummy, yummy, woo-hoo!" is about all I could make out).  After the meal we picked up a few more doses of Dramamine as I wasn't sure if we had enough (we did) then returned to our room to get a good night's rest.

11-12-11 (Saturday): I didn't sleep all that well, ironically enough.  Chalk it up to excitement or to my body not being accustomed to the strange bed I'd put it in.  On top of that, when setting the alarm clock the night before I somehow managed to change the time on the device so instead of waking up at 6:30 AM like we'd planned I woke us up at (drum roll, if you will) 5:30 AM!  This wasn't that bad, though, as it gave us plenty of time to gather ourselves and have breakfast (the continental breakfast Days Inn was serving didn't look all that appetizing - besides, there was a Shoney's directly in front of the hotel and their breakfast buffet is too enticing to pass up; the wait staff at this particular location were excellent and amazingly up-beat for being at work so early in the morning) before setting off on the final leg of our drive to Port Canaveral.

Kingsland, GA is around 3 miles from the Florida state line which meant we weren't on the road long before we were stopping, this time at the Florida visitors welcome center.  I have so many fond memories of this welcome center, odd as that may seem.  When I was growing up, my family came to Florida almost every summer and we would always stop at the welcome center to have a cup of fresh orange or grapefruit juice and to pick up a slew of brochures (I kid you not when I say we would easily fill up a grocery bag with those things).  The place hasn't changed much since I was a child - they're still serving juice (I had two cups this time through, one grapefruit and one orange) and the walls of brochures are as vibrantly colored as ever.

Double-fisting juices - grapefruit in one hand, orange in the other

To me, navigating through Jacksonville is the only tricky part about getting to Port Canaveral.  Notice that I said "through" and not "around" as you do have an option since there is a bypass available to those not wanting to take a direct route.  We were on something of a tight schedule which is why we'd be taking the straightest path, right through the center of Jacksonville.  There are so many interchanges, off-ramps, on-ramps, and random other potential bottlenecks to this stretch of road that I would probably decline the chance to live or work there if I had to use it for transportation every day.  From the sky, I'm sure that the highways going through that city have to look like a bundle of serpents writhing around each other.  Thankfully, there is ample signage to assist motorists; between them and our handy GPS, it wasn't too difficult of a segment.

The approach to Port Canaveral is a real treat for me because it's within a stone's throw of Cape Canaveral, site of NASA's Kennedy Space Center.  You can see many of the buildings making up the complex from the road, but it would turn out that we'd have a much better view of them later on in the day.

As we neared the port we could see several cruise ships sitting out on the water like great behemoths of the sea.  It's amazing to see craft as large as these - trust me when I say that they get a whole lot bigger the closer you are to them!  They truly are "nautical cities" and for someone like myself who marvels at feats of engineering it is astounding to consider all that goes into operating and maintaining these vessels.  I'd love to someday see what all goes on behind the scenes as I'm sure it's fascinating.

Our home away from home for the next 7 days, the Carnival Dream

We'd gotten turned around last year when entering the port as our directions weren't as effective as I'd hope they'd be (signage near the port wasn't all that helpful either), however we had no such issues this year.  Of course, the fact that we could very clearly see where our boat was docked helped - the Carnival Dream is one of the larger boats in port at Canaveral, after all, so it wasn't difficult to spot.  We just had to find our way to it, which was easy enough as the route into the parking lot and embarkation area is clearly marked.  After dropping off our luggage with the porters, we were able to park the car less than 50 yards away from the ship, an ideal scenario seeing as how we'd be carrying the luggage we'd just deposited upon our return.

Getting through security checkpoints when entering a cruise ship is not unlike the process of boarding an airplane - well, I take that back because while Homeland Security is present there are no body scanners, no pat-downs, and no limitations on how much shampoo you can bring with you (not that you need to bring any as the stateroom showers on Carnival boats come stocked with plenty of shampoo and shower gel).  It's a tedious process but only because of the shear volume of travelers to be processed.  Similarly, guest check-in can feel like it's taking forever but the truth of it is that patience is the order of the day when it comes to embarkation.  The whole ordeal took less than an hour, all totaled, which is impressive.

An aside to the check-in process is a personal story about Carnival's sign and sail cards.  The sign and sail card is an all-purpose device as it functions as your room key, identification, and is linked to your on-board spending account (you don't use cash or credit/debit cards on these boats, rather you wrack up charges over the course of your trip and are responsible for paying the balance when you return to port).  When we checked in for our honeymoon cruise, I was rather put off by the fact that Jill received a prestigious-looking gold sign and sail card whereas I was issued a card that was powder-blue in color. (The powder-blue, to me, looked like something they should be giving to kids.) It turns out that customers who've sailed previously with Carnival are recognized by different color cards, those being gold and platinum (given to guests who've taken 10 cruises with Carnival).  Jill had sailed with Carnival before, hence why she was ahead of me in the pecking order.  Be that as it may, I was pleased to get my first gold sign and sail card this time around.

Walking across the gantry connecting land to our boat was like leaving reality and entering a completely different realm of existence - one where it's perfectly acceptable to order 4 deserts after having eaten 5 servings of lobster.  Once we were on board, we made our way to the lido deck because we weren't yet allowed into our staterooms.  Lido is an important place because it's where all the buffets are located, and seeing as how it was just past lunchtime seating was at a premium but we were able to get a table without much delay. (This would be the only occasion where we'd have much difficulty in finding a table on lido; in contrast I'd read reviews online that seemed to indicate it was almost impossible 100% of the time.)

The Dream features several stations around its lido deck that offer customized fare, such as a burrito bar which was where I decided to dine this first day (other selections included pasta, salads, omelets, hot dogs & hamburgers, and deli sandwiches).  The food on these boats is impeccable, and the fact that service in some form is available 24 hours a day is remarkable.  Again I'll say that the logistics of running an operation like this are astounding.

Not long after we'd finished our lunch an announcement was made that guests could make their way to their staterooms.  I was very eager to see ours as we'd be occupying a cove balcony stateroom, which is unique in comparison to other balcony rooms in that the balcony does not overhang the side of the boat.  Instead these balconies are tucked into the ships' hull making them more secure as well as more private.  When we opened the door we immediately noticed that this room was larger than what we'd experienced previously on the Carnival Sensation.  Our room featured a king-size bed, a seating area with a couch, ample closet space, a great bathroom, and - of course - the balcony which was spectacular.  An added bonus was that we were on the port side (which is the left-hand side if you're in the boat and facing the front of the ship) meaning that we'd get a great view of each port (not to be redundant) we'd be visiting.

Our stateroom, a cove balcony class - very spacious & comfortable.

At this point in time we hadn't yet received our luggage.  This is another part of cruising that demands patience seeing as how each and every bag has to be delivered to the stateroom it belongs and this can take a fair amount of time on a boat like the Dream since there could be more than 4,000 guests on board.

It's required that all guests participate in an evacuation drill prior to the ship leaving port.  In a nut shell, this is where you learn what you would be doing in the event of an emergency where there might be no other option than to use the ship's lifeboats to escape some level of danger.  It involves everyone reporting to their assigned muster stations then receiving instruction on how to effectively use life preservers.  This is the sort of thing that comes across as being unnecessary, to the point that if you've sat through it once you should receive some kind of lifetime certification, but for a  number of reasons (read, payouts from personal injury lawsuits) it doesn't quite work that way.  Once the muster drill was complete we decided to make our way to the promenade deck to watch as we left port.

We shoved off around 5 PM, close to dusk for this time of year.  On our way out of port, we passed several other boats including a Disney ship and another of Carnival's fleet.  This gave us a much more vivid sense of just how tall the Dream is seeing as how we were standing on one of the middle-upper level decks and we were looking across the tops of those other boats.  The setting sun was a great backdrop for our departure, as was the sight of a shrimp boat following behind us.

On our way out of Port Canaveral

You have many dining options but when it comes to dinner the only way to go for us is to enjoy a meal in one of the main dining rooms.  For this cruise we were assigned to the Scarlet dining room; we realized as the week went on that most of the featured locations inside the boat had monikers that made reference to a shade of red.  We were curious to find out who our table-mates would be as we were looking forward to meeting some of our fellow cruisers.  As it would turn out, we were assigned to a booth instead of one of the larger tables, making for much more quaint dining experiences.  We had the table to ourselves that first night as we later learned that our table-mates had decided to visit the steakhouse this first evening.  I received a special treat at the end of our meal in the form of a heart-shaped chocolate cake Jill had ordered as a surprise; our waiter brought it to our table and sang "Happy Anniversary" to us (and encouraged us to "kissy-kissy").  The cake, like all the food served to us that week, was almost too pretty to eat but of course we ate it anyway and it was delicious - moist, creamy, and chocolatey!

The view from our table in the Scarlet Dining Room

After dinner, we returned to our stateroom and low & behold our luggage had arrived.  We unpacked our bags and bundled up several orders of laundry (there are do-it-yourself laundry stations on board but if you think I'm going to iron something while I'm on vacation you've got another thing coming) and gave them to our steward before venturing back out to peruse the Fun Shops.  Jill and I have developed quite a collection of magnets over our years of traveling together (in my opinion they're the best souvenirs imaginable - I can go to get a cold drink and be reminded of our escapades), and we added to it this first night by picking up a magnet featuring a great image of the Dream.

We capped off our evening by watching several programs in the Encore Theater.  Bingo games - which almost always preceded performances in the Encore (they're as good of a lead-in as any; come for the bingo, stay for the show) - are never hard to find on Carnival's boats and I have to say they aren't exactly bashful when it comes to giving away prizes.  More often than not, winners of these games would receive either a hefty amount of cash or a large amount of credit being applied to their sign and sail account (there were even a few games played later in the week where if you won your entire sign and sail charges would be wiped out; that's a huge opportunity because trust me when I say that over the duration of a 7-day cruise you can wrack up a significant balance).  Trivia games are also commonplace with the game of the evening being centered around material from the 1980s.  The actual performance we saw that night was an introduction to the entertainers who'd be putting their skills on display for us the remainder of the week.  By far my favorite element of this show was a segment arranged by Fun Force who are a group of break dancers.  Quite frankly I don't think the human body was intended to bend or move the way these guys are able to, so the notion that they're able to perform the acrobatic feats they do is out of this world.

The Encore Theater/Lounge

By the end of the show, we were ready to retire to our stateroom.  Between being on the road and all the excitement of the day, we'd thoroughly worn ourselves out.  It had been a great first day and our adventure was definitely only just beginning!

Will It Fit? (A Blog About Packing for Vacation)

As I write this, my wife and I are but mere days away from setting sail on our second cruise - a seven day voyage to the Western Caribbean on the Carnival Dream (our first such adventure having been our honeymoon, a 4 day journey to the Bahamas by way of the Carnival Sensation), so it should come as no surprise that we're going through the process of packing our luggage.

BRING ONLY WHAT YOU NEED TO SURVIVE!

It's never been a particularly tedious process for me as I've always been of the mindset that you bring what you feel like you need and if you forget something necessary, too bad - adaptability is one of the strongest qualities that the human race has ever exhibited, after all, but the trouble these days is a lot of folks mistake necessity for luxury.  This is why every truck stop between here and oblivion is now equipped with wi-fi, so that you can check Facebook status updates as you watch what is almost certainly a three-week-old hotdog tumble down the rollers of the grilling apparatus. (Do those things have a specific name other than just "gas station hot dog cooker"?) Don't get me wrong, I love to have my favorite gadgets nearby but I'm not so attached at the hip to these baubles that I can't let them well enough alone occasionally, especially over the course of a vacation.

The challenge when it comes to packing that has been presented by this particular voyage is the fact that it is what it is; that being a seven day adventure to the western Caribbean (not counting an extra day or two of travel to and from our port of embarkation).  Essentially, my concern isn't so much a matter of agonizing over what to bring but the fact that I'm having to bring a lot of stuff, namely clothing, and I only have so many pieces of luggage to work with.  This being the case, my packing strategy has been to establish levels of priority.

Not surprisingly, I packed every available (read, clean) pair of underwear I have first thing, which immediately presented a logistical challenge seeing as how I have just enough to account for every day of the cruise plus a few spares.  This is in defiance of a technique my Grandmother (who was something of a road warrior in her 60s as she would commonly take lengthy bus tours across the western United States) once told me about whereby you could actually get four wears out of a single pair of shorts, that being to wear them correctly once then reverse them (so that the front is in the back), then turn them inside-out and reverse them again.  I've never had to do that (and I hope I never have to) but it's as valid an option as any when pressed for methods in providing adequate cover to your naughty bits.

Next were other essentials such as socks, pajamas, and handkerchiefs.  I don't know that many people carry handkerchiefs nowadays but I took to carrying them many years ago when I was an avid concert-goer.  The utilitarian nature of something as simple as a square of cloth may escape you.  Have you ever found yourself needing to blow your nose, wipe sweat from your brow, dry off your hands after using a restroom with no paper towels or air dryer, or simply get caught with your lips and fingers covered in wing sauce but there's no napkins to be found?  There are many uses for a hanky, is what I'm getting at, and I keep one with me at all times.

I have an old duffel bag I've used since high school for random occasions; back then it was my backpack of choice - here, it's going to be ferrying my shoes.  Depending on the style and manufacturer, I can typically wear a mens shoe size 14 or 15 wide.  Suffice to say that finding footwear that's comfortable for me is something of a challenge considering most major shoe stores seem to be under the impression that no one has feet as large as mine.  Nevertheless, my point in bringing up my shoes is to say that with large feet come large shoes.  Somewhat unbelievably, I was able to fit a pair of dress shoes, my water shoes, a pair of sandals, my hats and a set of swimming goggles all within this one bag.

In contrast to the old duffel is a new accessory I purchased recently - the Maxpedition Sitka Gearslinger.  The Gearslinger series is described as a shoulder sling tactical messenger bag, and with its ballistic nylon construction it's great for everyday use as well as backpacking.  I plan on breaking in my Sitka during this trip as it will be holding gear such as my raincoat, flashlight, iPod, camera, and an assortment of other items.  I've customized my Sitka with Maxpedition's Janus Extension Pocket, which functions as both an extension of the shoulder strap and a useful front-side pouch.

Toiletries are another no-brainer because Heaven forbid we'd go off on vacation without smelling nice or forgetting basic hygiene practices.  For me, items that wind up in my toiletry bag include toothpaste, toothbrush, floss, band-aids, medication (which includes Zyrtec, daily multivitamins, anti-diarrhea tablets, aspirin and Tylenol), deodorant, cologne, body spray, aftershave, my razor (a Schick Quatro I've had for the better part of a decade; I don't bother with disposables as they tend to chew up my face), and shaving cream.  Additionally, for this trip I've got a fresh tube of SPF 50 sunblock and bug repellent, both of which will be necessary as we'll be hoofing it to a set of remote Mayan ruins whilst in Belize and I don't particularly want to get sunburn and/or bitten by some kind of malaria-toting beastie that doesn't have my best interests in mind when it sets upon me.

Aside from what I mentioned will be getting packed into my duffel and Sitka, the items I've mentioned prior to now account for the contents of my smaller suitcase which, in terms of dimensions, is not as big as a full-sized piece of luggage but not that small either.  It's been more than suitable for me to take with me on 2 or 3 day trips in the past, however it is most certainly an accessory for this vacation.

The remainder of what I have to pack will go into a much larger bag, the limits of which will most certainly be tested over the course of our vacation.  As I mentioned earlier, the difficulty in packing for this trip hasn't been deciding what to bring but more of how to deal with the volume of what I'm bringing in contrast to the amount of luggage space I have to work with.  I've got 100 pounds of crap but only a 50 pound bag, as it were.

My wardrobe is basic and I don't put a lot of effort into trying to match up pants to tops or what have you. (Proof of this is the fact that I apparently I missed out on some kind of basic clothing coordination classes in my formative years because I see nothing wrong with wearing brown shoes and a black belt, a fact that my wife persistently chides me about.) On any other vacation I could've continued with my ways as I'd just throw a bunch of my casual clothing into my bag and be done with it.  Cruising is a different animal in that there are formal nights in the main dining rooms aboard these vessels where dress codes require guests to be rather snazzily put together. (No, you don't have to attend these events as you could just as well eat from the buffet every meal, but you're paying for this experience when you book a cruise so there's no point in not getting the most out of it - besides, the food is amazing!) That being the case, I'll essentially have to bring double the amount of clothing I normally would - one set for roaming about care free and a completely different set for when we need to be gussied up.

I don't own a suit or even a sport jacket, although I do have several button-down dress shirts and ties (which sit in a hermetically sealed box 99% of the time so that they'll be fresh on the rare occasion that I actually need them), which is a perfectly appropriate ensemble for formal nights on board the ship as far as I'm concerned.  Formal wear, to me, is arguably the most dysfunctional clothing imaginable.  There is literally no redeemable or, more importantly, useful aspect to it - then again, that isn't its intention.  I'm sure somewhere out there a tactical clothing manufacturer has developed a suit that doubles as a survival outfit but I have yet to see it.

I've made kind of a big deal out of being able to fit all this stuff into my bags and, truth be told, it's a legitimate concern however I'm fairly certain it will all come together.  I've got enough time between now and when we'll be hitting the road that I should be able to sort through all that I've mentioned in this post, develop a plan of attack, and execute it with much precision.  I may have to use a form of origami on my garments then use one of those space-saving vacuum bags to get them all in, mind you, but it should work out okay.  How well it all fits back into my bags when it's time to come home will be an entirely different issue.