Our Road to Building a Family - Legalese, Antibiotics, Baby Food, Easter Bunnies, Car Seats, and Grandmas

It's been a while since I have sat down to write a blog, period, but it feels like it's been an especially long time since I've written one about the continued development of our little family. I hate to say it because I rather enjoy writing long, drawn out blog entries but I'm going to do my best to keep this one concise. I feel as though some bullet points are in my near future, which is probably the best mechanism available for keeping myself on topic and not getting too far off into the kind of rambling for which I'm known. This site is called Redbeard's Rambling, after all.

* Legalese

We have not had any real contact with the court system since January when we had a hearing that wound up having to be continued due to the fact that there was paperwork missing from the filing that DSS had generated. We were told then that the follow up hearing would be expedited and that it would hopefully combine several maneuvers to completing the process into one session, yet here we are roughly 4 months later and we have nothing new to share.

My wife has done what she can to keep in contact with the paralegal involved (I'll add that she's been nothing but vigilant throughout this whole shooting match) and the response we've gotten is essentially "I'll check on that for you..." then nothing else happens. I feel as though this aspect of the adoption process will grow to frustrate my wife & I substantially going forward because we are both headstrong individuals and there is literally nothing we can do to move things along. Truly "hurry up and wait" is not something either of us do all that well. Of course I say that then I'm immediately reminded of the fact that there have been several stages to this process where we could literally do nothing to impact our standing in the situation. It is what it is, and regardless of what we may encounter next we remain confident that this is just one more hurdle. The Duke is our little boy and if it takes years for him to be legally recognized as that then so be it - he'll still be ours and he'll be loved, adored, spoiled, and so many other things because that's what he deserves.

* Antibiotics

The Duke isn't unlike any other baby in that he's brand new to the world and, as such, prone to getting hit by any number of infections. This is somewhat compounded by the fact that he's in daycare and also gets to spend some time with other babies at our church while my wife & I go to "big people" church. I do love our daycare but I will be quick to label any such facility as a breeding ground for germs. Don't take that the wrong way, though - it's a good thing. After all, if he never gets any exposure to bugs his immune system won't develop as it should.

That said, Duke has had a few bouts with colds and here most recently he's gotten an ear infection. These are the kind of things an antibiotic is good for and he's currently getting the third such treatment he's received in his lifetime, this one an effort to clear up what was left of the ear infection. The tricky thing about antibiotics, though, is that they do interesting things with his digestive system and bowel movements - and by "interesting" I mean his poops are of the "OH DEAR GOD!" variety.

* Baby Food

We've begun to put Duke through his paces in regard to letting him experience different varieties of baby food. We've adopted the format of giving him a new flavor every week and thus far we have moved from bananas to peas to pears and I believe the next step is green beans.

Of those he took most easily to bananas, perhaps not surprisingly given their sweetness. I tried them myself and they are certainly quite tasty. They'd likely be a good additive to a smoothie or could even be frozen for an icy treat. The peas didn't go over so well at first as he all but rejected them. The expression he had on his face when I fed him peas was as if he meant to say "Father, what have I done? Why have you betrayed me?" Given that reaction I was shocked to find out that mixing the peas with the bananas wound up being palatable for him - go figure.

Pears yielded an entirely different reaction, one that I wasn't expecting. Evidently the pears had a tartness to them, and Duke scrunched up his face accordingly when eating them for the first time. I have video of this and it is absolutely priceless.

These are the kinds of things people who aren't parents have never had the joy of seeing. This life, this person, who is so knew to the world and all that's in it has so much to look forward to enjoying. It's simply amazing.

* Easter Bunnies

Holidays present unique opportunities for parents to dress up their children in outfits they'll likely only wear once and, on occasion, have their picture taken with a person dressed as a giant rodent. Such was the case for Duke's first Easter as we took him to one of the local malls to meet the Easter Bunny set up therein.

Our fear was that he would see the humanoid hare and respond with bloodcurdling screams of terror, as some children are prone to doing when faced with such beings. Duke's reaction was all business. He never so much as cracked a smile, which we believe was due to him having some sort of innate ability to sense when cameras are around. Catching him smiling in a photograph is about as easy to do as getting into Metallica. This being the case, we have a set of pictures of him with his first Easter Bunny experience and he looks every bit as though he'd just as soon be somewhere else. He's not sad, he's not angry, he's just kind of meh. Given some of the alternatives, I can live with that.

We considered this a dry run for our upcoming adventure to Walt Disney World in November. Even though Duke might not smile for the camera whilst in the grasp of a costumed character, hopefully he'll at least continue to be agreeable with the idea of meeting the likes of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and all their cohorts.

* Car Seats

One of the items that was very generously given to us when we first brought Duke home was his first car seat, that being a Chicco KeyFit model. We have used that seat for more than 5 months, moving it between our vehicles with a level of ease I didn't think was possible out of an infant car seat. Alas, the time has come that our little dude isn't quite as little as he used to be, hence the reason why we've recently upgraded him to a pair of Chicco NextFit convertible car seats.

As I said when I posted that photo to Facebook, my kids' car seat is cooler than your kids' car seat.

In all seriousness, my wife & I couldn't be more pleased with the Chicco brand. The seats are easy to install using either the latches built into the car or by threading one of the shoulder restraints through the seat (we used the former setup in my wife's car, the latter in my truck). They're well made with safety features that mimic technology more commonly seen in racing applications. (If I didn't know any better I'd say the headrest is actually a HANS device.) They're not exactly the cheapest things in the world but this is a matter where you get what you pay for, and in these seats Duke is going to be one safe world traveler.

* Grandmas

I sincerely don't know what we'd do without Grandmas. Not to say that Grandpas aren't special people too, mind you, as they mean plenty in the grand scheme of things, but Grandmas are a resource as valuable as platinum in my opinion.

Before I go further into this chunk of commentary I am obligated to state, for the record, that Duke has two Grandmas. My Mom has assumed the official title of Grandma, as in this is the name we're hoping he comes to know her as. Likewise, my wife's Mom is now known officially as Nene (pronounced "nee-nee"), a derivation of her actual name, that being Nita.

There have been so many occasions where the fact that my Mom lives nearby has saved my wife & I from having to use our annual or sick leave. She gives her time willingly and is always there for us no matter what the situation may be. What's more, she never seems to come to our home without a bag filled with food, diapers, wipes, or some other useful commodity. Generosity is her forte, and she is a living example of what it means to be a cheerful giver who expects nothing in return.

Nene comes to visit Duke (I first wrote that she comes to visit "us" - implying me, my wife, and Duke - but the reality of the thing is that she's here to see Duke; we just happen to live in the same house that he does) every other weekend. She stays with us, usually from Friday evening until Monday morning, and spends just shy of every second of those days in contact with her grand-baby. Sometimes she sneaks in a visit on those weekends where she wouldn't normally be in town, and sometimes Pawpaw (that being my father in-law) makes the trip as well on those occasions.

The Grands can never get enough of the Duke and it means the world to my wife & I to have them involved in his life.

As I have gotten older the value that I place on members of our family has increased by leaps and bounds. (Not because of their willingness to pitch in or to help my wife & I but because of the fact they're there. More than that, they make the effort to be there.) I attribute this to the benefit of age and maturity. Youth and the associated blinders that come with it can be blamed for seemingly innumerable foolish decisions, and I am undoubtedly guilty of such blunders as not taking advantage of the time that I had.

While I may be lacking in various cosmetic attributes - I'm still coming to terms with the ever growing bald spot on the back of my head and the streaks of grey that now run through my beard - what I've gained in wisdom and foresight is so much more meaningful. There have been many moments here lately where I have wished that certain of my family were still on this Earth to see what has become of us. I know they're watching from a much better perspective than ours, but I can't not selfishly wish they were still here instead of there.