Movie Review Round-Up #4 - Walt Disney, Tonto & Some Hobbits Save the Snow Queen

And here I thought I was done with movie reviews for a while - turns out my wife & I have seen quite a few moving pictures here lately, mainly because of the fact that we received a handful of gift cards to Regal Cinemas as Christmas gifts. (I was an AMC man growing up in Lancaster, SC - a city that exists in the shadows of Charlotte, NC - but Regal seems to dominate the theatrical landscape here in the midlands of South Carolina.) Therein lies a decent question to ponder: Would we have seen some of these films if we weren't able to get in for free? Going to the cinema is an expensive prospect seeing as how getting to a theater isn't exactly a 5 minute drive for us, unfortunately. Chances are we would have in the case of Frozen as both my wife and myself are suckers for anything with the Disney logo situated somewhere in the poster art. Similarly, Saving Mr. Banks was an almost automatic selection because you can't go wrong with Tom Hanks. He's essentially the Peyton Manning of Hollywood (Or maybe Peyton Manning is the Tom Hanks of professional football?) in that unless something extraordinarily unusual happens you can count on his performance alone being worth the price of admission.

Then we have The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Lone Ranger, two titles we viewed at home. In the case of The Hobbit, I purchased it on Blu-ray right after it became available and it had been sitting on our entertainment center ever since (yes, that puts it there almost a solid calendar year). I can give no other justification for the delay than the fact I'd simply not taken the time to invest 3 hours of my time in the film. That and we both wanted to watch it so we could hopefully then go to the theater to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. As for The Lone Ranger, it fell into that most bothersome category of movie, that being the sort of flick that you're watching because you're halfway expecting it to be horrible due to what others have said/written about it and you want to either verify or discredit those experiences for yourself.

As an aside to this introduction, I'll note that this turned into a very Disney-heavy Movie Review Round-Up as 3 of the 4 films I'll be talking about originated from the House of the Mouse. I have no real reasoning for pointing this out other than to brag on the fact that my wife & I will be going to Walt Disney World again in May, this time for the 2014 edition of Star Wars Weekends at Disney's Hollywood Studios!

Frozen

Based loosely on a Hans Christian Andersen story called The Snow Queen, Frozen follows the story of Elsa and Anna, a pair of Norwegian sisters born into royalty, the former of happening to have been cursed (as her parents would have her believe) with the power to manipulate ice. Unfortunately she has difficult in controlling these powers and inadvertently injures her younger sister with them while they were playing. Their parents seek out the aid of a troll king who is able to heal Anna, taking away her memories of Elsa's abilities in the process. 

The most glaring issues that Frozen contains, to me, are plot related. They're the kind of problems that children may or may not pick up on but as an adult they stick out like a patch of yellow snow on an otherwise brilliant drift. My biggest gripe is that there's no origin story given to Elsa's powers. We are never told where they come from or why she has them and Anna doesn't, we can only assume it's some sort of supposed curse that befalls an individual every once in a while. As I watched the film I kept saying to myself that she's more or less Ice Man from MARVEL's X-MEN comic books, only she never has the blessing of meeting her equivalent to Professor Xavier.

Therein lies the source of my X-MEN comparisons; Elsa's powers might otherwise be thought of as a mutation in another mythology, not far from that of a character like Iceman. The difference between the two being that Iceman was fortunate enough to be encouraged to hone his abilities by the likes of Professor Xavier and that Elsa's powers appear to be incredibly vast. She's not just controlling ice, she has the capacity to create sentient life - Olaf and the castle guardian are examples of this. The implications of that never get touched upon in this particular narrative, although that's perhaps too deep for what's supposed to be a kid's movie.

In the grand scheme of Disney films, Frozen ranks up there with Beauty and the Beast as well as The Little Mermaid in terms of being captivating stories featuring brilliant vocal performances both in terms of dialogue and in song. It really is a fantastic picture for kids of all ages - if you're an adult, just do yourself a favor by not doing what I did in trying to analyze the thing, nearly forgetting to be entertained in the process.

3.75/5 Professor Xaviers

Saving Mr. Banks

When Walt Disney sought the motion picture rights to Mary Poppins, he wound up confronting author P.L. Travers head on, a woman who was seemingly unwilling to let go of her creation for fear that Disney would tarnish what it meant - not so much to the world, but to Travers herself.

I will be blunt in saying that I am not typically one to watch a film that would be best categorized as a comedy-drama. Likewise, romantic comedies aren't generally my mason jar of sweet iced tea, if you catch my drift. (It's like listening to a Nickelback album - you already know what you're going to get when you turn the thing on because they're all more or less the same.) However, I will be blunt again in saying that a movie like this is worth watching regardless of what your personal tastes may dictate because of the players involved. The combination of Emma Thompson's emulation of P.L. Travers and Tom Hanks' portrayal of Walt Disney makes for a masterful mix of talent. When you throw in the likes of Paul Giamatti and Colin Farrell as accessories, it's fairly difficult to go wrong. They aren't heavy-handed or overbearing in trying to impersonate the individuals they're hoping to represent, rather they all succeed in breathing life into them.

I'm sure that there are those who would look to discredit the historical accuracy of aspects to the plot of Saving Mr. Banks. I can't argue with such criticisms because my knowledge of the history behind this film is slim to none, although I will say that the dynamic tension leading up to the eventual reveal of Travers' reasoning for being so defensive in regard to Mary Poppins treatment by others is a real treat. It's a mixture of storytelling, acting, and editing that make it what it is - a movie that will tug at your heart yet still find a way to make you laugh.

4/5 Mouse Ear Hats

The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey

Long before Frodo, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli set off to destroy the ring of power before the dark lord Sauron could reclaim it, there was another mythical quest across Middle Earth involving elves, Hobbits, and sorcery - only this one involved a dragon and the struggle of a small band of dwarfs hoping to take back their homeland.

Based on J. R. R. Tolkien's classic novel, The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey represents the first act of what will eventually be a trilogy of films.

I am a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I could watch those movies just about any day of the week and be just as entertained as I was the first time I saw them. The cast was so strong for that trio of pictures that I cannot think of anyone I would see replaced in the lineup with other actors. Unfortunately, the cast is one of the biggest problems I have with An Unexpected Journey but its also a reflection of the differences in this story versus that of the Lord of the Rings. There is no Aragorn/Viggo Mortensen here - what I mean by that is there's no primary hero clearly identified, even though some would argue that would be Martin Freeman as a younger version of Bilbo Baggins. (He may be the main character but he's not the charismatic center of the cast; perhaps I'm hoping for too much in expecting to see another similar warrior-type to what was had before.) Instead there's a whole bunch of potential leads none of whom we genuinely get that much of an opportunity with which to bond, and some of whom are almost unlikeable.

With this story, we have a crew of characters in the dwarfs who are almost always together. While they each appear unique in terms of their style, none of them truly have a chance to stick out from the rest aside from Thorin Oakenshield played by Richard Armitage. (I am not lying when I tell you that I could not recall a single one of the dwarf's names other than Oakenshield.) The problem with him is that he comes off as a giant prick right up until the end of the film. By that point, I had pretty well lost interest in anything he had to say; the sudden recovery seemed too forced, at least for me.

My wife & I watched An Unexpected Journey on Blu-ray at home and we're hoping to see the Desolation of Smaug before it leaves theaters. While I may not have enjoyed this film as much as I have some of director Peter Jackson's other offerings set in Middle Earth, I am looking forward to seeing what comes next as I hope the inclusion of Orlando Bloom who returns as Legolas will be a nice shot in the arm to invigorate the story.

3/5 The Preciouses

The Lone Ranger

The concept of a solitary sentinel fighting for justice isn't a novel one, especially not these days where it seems as though every superhero could be described as such. But where did that ideal begin? Probably with an actual member of society who was so inspired at some point in human history if you really want to try and nail it down, but in terms of popular culture the roots of such characters go back to one man, that being the Lone Ranger who first appeared on American airwaves back in 1933 and who has been an iconic figure ever since.

Unfortunately for modern audiences, the Lone Ranger's legacy isn't what it once was thanks to this mess of a film.

Disney and director Gore Verbinski had been on an amazing "winning" streak thanks to the overwhelming success of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies they assembled. With over $1 billion made at the box office, it seemed like the combination of Disney, Verbinski, and star Johnny Depp could do no wrong. Apparently all it took to break the streak was to have Depp play a Native American with a dead bird on his head.

In all honesty, the aesthetic choice of how to represent Tonto in this iteration of the Lone Ranger mythology is about the least troublesome aspect of the overall production. (Depp, to his credit, is his usual over-the-top self here; he's entertaining, I just wish the material he has to work with had been better.) The plot is so tremendously bloated and unnecessarily complex that it's at times difficult to follow but still horribly campy in what it tries to accomplish. To make matters worse, Armie Hammer is tasked with playing a heroic and vivacious action hero even though Armie Hammer has the personality of a loaf of white bread. Then to make matters even more worse, the action sequences are as over the top as any I've ever seen. They're not quite 28-mile-long-runway stupid (as was the case with Fast & Furious 6), but even so I cannot get out of my head how the state of movie-making seems to be that it's required to take anything plausible pertaining to action and throw it out the window.

I imagine the creative meetings for The Lone Ranger went something like this...

Writer: Okay, we've got an idea for a sequence where Ranger, Tonto, and some guys are fighting on a moving train.
Producer: That's not good enough.
Writer: What do you mean?
Producer: That's too simplistic, it needs more...More of everything.
Writer: Alright, what if the train is speeding out of control?
Producer: Not bad, still too vanilla though.
Writer: Um, how about the fight takes place on a speeding, out of control train that gets split into two sections and weaves back & forth between a pair of tracks causing the actors to have to do stunts that no human being could possibly survive or even logically perform?
Producer: Yeah, yeah...Add some explosions and a bridge, now we're talking!

If this movie had a giant mechanical spider it would be Wild, Wild West all over again. Disney had a real opportunity to make what could've been a great western, a real revenge tale involving classic characters. All it would've needed is a more serious tone and a better angle of how best to depict the origin of the Ranger. Instead we're left with this schlock-fest that has very few redeeming qualities.

1.5/5 Loaves of White Bread

Autograph Signing with Legendary Gamecock QB Connor Shaw

It should come as no secret to anyone that I'm a huge fan of the University of South Carolina Gamecock athletics program given that my blog is saturated with a garnet & black color scheme and that in my avatar I'm wearing my trusty Columbia booney hat that's emblazoned with the "block C" as it's known in these parts. (Funny thing about that hat - my wife hates it. I forget where we were at the time but within the past 6 months she said to me something to the effect of "You weren't wearing that stupid hat, otherwise I'd have had an easier time finding you...") I follow the football team closely as our squad is just about as good as we ever have been right now. Considering not that long ago there was a year where we didn't win a single game, where we are now is phenomenal! We're coming off of an 11-2 year where we were undefeated at home, laid waste to our in-state rivals at Clemson University (yet again, for the fifth straight year), and turned in an impressive performance at the Capital One Bowl, all of which lead to our being ranked as the #4 team in the entire nation at the end of the season (we were also declared the "champions of the bowl season", but that title came from an admittedly biased and unofficial source, the ol' Head Ball Coach himself Steve Spurrier).

A player who's been a huge part of our recent success is quarterback Connor Shaw, who was voted the most valuable player of the game after his performance at the Capital One Bowl where he threw 3 touchdowns, rushed for one, and even caught a scoring pass (which was thrown by Bruce Ellington, another guy who's value as a versatile athlete cannot be understated). I wouldn't consider myself an autograph hunter by any stretch of the imagination, but the opportunity to meet Shaw was too good to pass up. So it was that a plan was hatched when I found out he'd be making an appearance at a store specializing in sports memorabilia in Charleston, SC - ROAD TRIP!

The event was being held at The Fan Zone; I knew of the existence of this shop because my wife & I had been by it quite a few times in the past when we'd visited the Tanger Outlets in Charleston. If you've never been to a Tanger complex, they're all more or less the same - they look like a shopping mall, but they're in a mostly "open air" configuration meaning you're outside as you traverse from one store to another although there are sections that are covered. In investigating the details further I noticed that on The Fan Zone's Facebook page the map there pointed to a location that was near the mall but not inside of it. What's more, I remembered from having been there previously that their spot in the outlet mall was under one of the covered sections but the cover photo on their Facebook page looked as if it was getting hit by full sun.

I tried calling The Fan Zone in the days prior to the signing but I never got an answer, just a busy signal. I assumed they were either swamped with customers and questions or that they'd taken the phones offline because they were being swamped by customers and questions. Confusion set in, but I already had it in mind that I was going to go regardless of where the event wound up being.

My wife & I had been able to attend a signing with former Gamecock/current San Francisco 49er running back Marcus Lattimore last year at the Bower Parkway location of Garnet & Black Traditions in Columbia, SC. At that event we'd gotten several items signed, including two footballs - one for me and one that we'd held onto as a Christmas gift for my Uncle who's also a huge Gamecock fan as well as an alumnus of the University of South Carolina. I mention these balls because it has seemed to be the case at every signing I've ever been to that in order to participate you had to purchase an item from the store hosting the event. To my surprise, that wasn't true for Shaw's appearance at The Fan Zone. The event announcement was crystal clear in stating that patrons could buy an item from the store or that for $15 they could bring an item from home to be signed.

Come meet a Gamecock legend and you don't have to drop an arm and a leg on the experience? The only way it could've been more ideal is if there had been complimentary punch and pie!

I've mentioned my wife several times during this entry. Truth is, when one of us does something the other is typically there. That's just how we roll. Be that as it may, she's not a Gamecock fan - truth of the matter is that she's a Clemson fan. I know not everyone in the United States is up on the rivalry that exists between Carolina and Clemson but it's a big deal here in South Carolina, just as big I'd say as other college rivalries like Michigan and Ohio State, Oklahoma and Texas, or Auburn and Alabama. Be that as it may she typically will join me whenever I'm doing something Gamecock-related, be it out of love or the possibility that she's some kind of spy working for the enemy (that being Clemson). She wouldn't be with me this go-round, though. The co-pilot chair for this trek was reserved for my Uncle who, ironically enough, had earlier in the week prior to my learning of Shaw's appearance talked to me about how awesome it would be to get another signature on the ball we'd given him with Lattimore's autograph.

All I can say to that is that things tend to just work out they way they're supposed to.

We set out on the morning of Saturday, January 11, 2014 just after 8:30 AM. The signing was scheduled to run from noon until 3 PM; Charleston is a little over an hour away from where we live in Saint Matthews, SC but we wanted to leave early enough so that we'd have time to adjust as needed should anything out of the ordinary arise. The probability of that seemed to be somewhat high seeing as how I still wasn't exactly certain on where we were going. Be that as it may, I plugged the address for The Fan Zone into the GPS app on my phone and we set off.

The weather in our part of the world has been particularly peculiar here lately as within the course of the past week we've gone from temperatures in the teens at night to days in the mid-seventies. This past Saturday added to that mix of oddities as it was again in the mid-seventies but with lots of clouds, high humidity, and stiff winds as a storm system was making its way across the southeast. We held onto hope that the weather forecasters hadn't lied to us in predicting that the bulk of the rain wouldn't arrive until after the signing, but I came prepared for the worst with a hat and a rain coat.

Traffic was minimal and the ride to Charleston went quickly.  Good conversation has a way of passing the time more quickly, and my Uncle & I have never had difficulty in finding plenty to flap our gums over when we're around one another.

I knew more or less where we were going but I followed my GPS app all the way to where it believed we were to be going. I say that like it's to blame for something - truth be told, I hate it when people blame technology for their own misfortunes. It's not the computer's fault; it can only do what it's been designed and instructed to do after all. Regardless, where it took us was the Tanger Outlets. I wasn't convinced that was where we needed to be but we got out to investigate by locating one of the mall directories. The only reference to The Fan Zone on the directory was to a kiosk, not an actual store. There was a woman there in Gamecock regalia who looked just as puzzled as us, and it was at that point I figured I would try one more time to get someone from the store on the phone. Low and behold, I got an answer - sure enough, we were in the wrong spot but we weren't too far from where we needed to be. (Side Note: The guy I talked to on the phone used a Starbucks as a point of reference. Hipster directions, as it were?) The Fan Zone wound up being just around the corner from the Tanger Outlets, in a strip mall not too far from the North Charleston Coliseum.

By the time we got to where we were supposed to be (which was around 10:30 AM) the line of fans queued up outside the store was visible from almost a block away. As we pulled into the parking lot I suggested that my Uncle go ahead and get out so he could secure us a spot in line while I parked the truck. I prepared myself to have to spend an eternity trying to find a parking space as the lot looked to be nearly full. To my amazement, I found a space near the storefronts less than 200 feet away from The Fan Zone. I'm never that lucky when it comes to parking, ever, as in I could go to Walmart 100 days in a row and not get a parking space that convenient. I don't think many other folks who got there after us were as lucky, unfortunately, as the lot appeared to be packed. I have no idea where they all went but they were parking somewhere in the area and hoofing it back. I'm sure it was a point of frustration but the truth of the matter is that not many retail locations are intended to handle that level of traffic; the outlets would've been much more suited to that sort of volume than the strip mall we were at.

It's kind of fun to be in a line like that one, I find. You're amongst a bunch of like-minded people, after all, making it easy to strike up a conversation. We spent a good amount of time chatting with the guys who run a Facebook fan page called Gamecock Born & Bred, which happens to be a huge community with over 74,000 followers. They had some great posters and t-shirts that they'd made themselves - they made for great company while we waited patiently for our chance to meet Connor Shaw, so if you're a Gamecock fan who's on Facebook be sure to give them a "like".

For the purpose of the signing, The Fan Zone had its floor displays set up in such a way that fans were put through a U-shaped path that lead through one door, deep into the store, then back out another door. Vista Art (a company based in Columbia, SC that specializes in custom framing and printing) had a makeshift booth set up along the route to sell prints of Williams Brice Stadium and other framed & unframed memorabilia. Their wares are beautiful and we did see people buying some of the prints they had on hand, but I'll be damned if I'm paying what they were asking for a picture of a stadium. Connor was set up near the exit and he was surrounded by staff from The Fan Zone and people that I assume were his handlers and management.

I'd like to get to a point in my life where I'm so appreciated and valued that I need a handler, just so when people ask "Who's this?" I can say "He's my handler...He handles me." thereby making everyone involved feel THAT level of awkward.

Speaking of awkward, events like this can be weird from the perspective of what goes on within a sudden and forced interaction between two people, one of whom is typically a celebrity and the other who may or may not be mentally stable. I think a lot of fans come to signings and they think the person they're meeting is going to turn out to be their buddy. They're more than likely going to be friendly, sure, but as a fan you have to understand that unless you're very fortunate you're only going to have a few seconds with whoever it is you're meeting. This was very true for Shaw's appearance last weekend as I barely had an opportunity to shake the guy's hand before it was time for me to move on. I'm not bitter about that because I understand the circumstances; be that as it may, it would've been nice to at least get a chance to say thanks for all he's done in the name of Gamecock football.

That said, I feel as though The Fan Zone showed that they aren't quite as adept at hosting an event like this as somewhere like Garnet & Black Traditions. Not that The Fan Zone's staff were pushy or rude, but they weren't exactly cordial in their attitudes or incredibly willing to assist patrons with things like taking photos. Part of this, in my opinion, stems from the fact that they had no cap on the number of people who could get into the signing. This isn't usually an issue for Garnet & Black because they sell a limited number of tickets for a given event which limits the amount of traffic they have to process, thereby making the whole thing more manageable. The Fan Zone, on the other hand, apparently wanted to get as many souls through the door as possible and that's exactly what they did. Don't get me wrong - it was a great opportunity to meet a Gamecock legend and I'd do it again, these just weren't the most ideal arrangements.

I don't remember precisely what time we were finished at the signing but I want to say we were out of there before 12:45 PM, meaning we were in line for a little over 2 hours. Not a bad day's work, which was why we decided to cap off our trip to the Low Country by having lunch at Big Billy's Burger Joint. We'd planned on getting something to eat but we'd not figured out where we would be going until we spotted Big Billy's which just so happened to be in the same strip mall as The Fan Zone. Neither of us had ever been there before - seeing as how neither myself or my Uncle can turn down a good burger, we figured why not give it a try. We're both certainly glad that we did!

For starters, Big Billy's has kind of a beachy, surfer gimmick going on in terms of its presentation. Not to a point of it being goofy, just enough to clue patrons into the fact that the cuisine is inspired by tropical flare. The menu featured an assortment of offerings, everything from wings to seafood, salads to milkshakes, and of course an eclectic variety of burgers. For our meal we started off with the Big Billy's loaded nachos, a huge platter of tortilla chips served with black bean chili, grated cheese, jalapenos, sour cream, lettuce, and fresh pico de gallo. My Uncle chose the "smash" burger which is topped with chili, cheese, slaw, and mustard - somewhat of a throwback to the way hamburgers have been prepared traditionally here in the South for quite some time. I picked the bacon, black & bleu burger for my main course and it did not disappoint! The burger was piled high with strips of bacon and blue cheese, and it was generously dusted with blackening seasoning. I had fries as a side and they were the perfect vehicle for Big Billy's 5-spice ketchup. I make no bones about admitting that ketchup is one of my most favorite things in the whole world, and this 5-spice concoction was an awesome treat for me.

Big Billy's also had an impressive selection of regional beers on hand. Had I not been the driver for this particular trip I'd have permitted myself to try one of them. As it was, all I could do was sit and be thirsty - figuratively speaking, of course. Our waitress (Tamara, I believe her name was) never let our glasses of tea run dry and that, dear reader, is the mark of a professional member of the service industry (or at least it is in my mind). I'm certain that I'll be back to Big Billy's at some point in the future and hopefully in the company of a designated driver.

This was a fantastic experience overall. I can't tell you how much I appreciate a good road trip and one that you can spend with good company while enjoying similar interests makes it all the more memorable.

Of course a nice memento of the occasion never hurts...