Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 5)

11-18-11 (Friday): The final day of a vacation is always bittersweet (or at least it usually is to me) as you may want to go home but not necessarily back to work, school, or what have you.  It’s usually around that time that you start to feel the cold harshness of reality dragging you back to the mundane processes of everyday life.  Such was the sensation I had upon waking up the last day of our cruise.  Even though our vacation was ending I couldn’t help but be happy.  We’d done so much and seen so many things – we’re not wealthy people by any means but we have been tremendously blessed to be able to enjoy trips like this.

We’d gotten up at what had become our usual time, that being 7:30 AM, and decided that we wanted to have breakfast on the lido deck.  The buffet line for breakfast that morning wasn’t particularly busy, which would seem to have indicated that either we were up too early or everyone else was sleeping in (although it could’ve possibly been due to a combination of both factors).  Since it isn’t often that I get sausage, bacon, scrambled eggs, and the like in the mornings I helped myself to a portion of each that was way more than any reasonable person would’ve considered.  Gluttony is not only acceptable on cruises, it’s encouraged.

Since it was our last day we had no plans of what we’d be doing from one hour to the next, which was a first for us on this vacation seeing as how we’d had scheduled events going each day prior.  Jill and I have something of a tradition built around miniature golf – putt-putt, if you will – with our Annual Truesdale Myrtle Beach Putt-Putt Challenge Championship (the ATMBPPCC, for short), a truly epic yearly competition where my wife and I do battle to see who is the best of the best (out of the two of us) at mini golf.  Seeing as how the Dream features an 18-hole course, we could think of nothing better to do than play a few rounds.

Attempting to line up a shot - not that it helped

Jill strikes a pose on the Dream's putt-putt course

If you’ve never played mini golf on the top deck of a cruise ship sailing through the Atlantic Ocean, let me be the first to tell you that it gets a bit windy up there.  The gusts we encountered while playing putt-putt that day were the strongest I’ve ever felt.  Add to that the fact that the ship is in a constant state of motion and you can easily see how the difficulty level for playing on this course was quite high.   The course itself was not all that challenging; the holes there featured a fairly basic set of obstacles, nothing near that of the absurdly configured holes we’re accustomed to playing during the ATMBPPCC.  Conditions being what they were, I think either of us would’ve been lucky to have scored a round even close to par.  As it were, Jill bested me both rounds – 47-48 the first and 43-46 the second.  I blame my poor performance on the environmental conditions as well as the fact that I was distracted by the shenanigans of a group of older men playing behind us (they were hilarious and I’m fairly certain they had a betting pool going).  She may have beaten me but the ATMBPPCC trophy is still mine, at least for a few more months!

As I mentioned in an earlier part of this series, Jill and I had decided to use a portion the extra spending money we gained by way of our excursion in Isla Roatan having been cancelled to purchase some of the pictures we’d had taken during formal nights.  We went to the photo display walls after we were done with our putt-putt match and decided to buy four more pictures, bringing our total to six – I won’t tell you exactly how much they cost us but I will say that it was worth the expense to have them.  They really are excellent pictures and the ones featuring the staircase in the Dream’s atrium are especially nice considering the uniqueness and ornate nature of the surroundings.

Looking down the shaft of the Dream's atrium

Looking across the atrium at the Fun Shops and photo walls

By the time we finished up browsing through the photo walls and shops, it was – you guessed it – time for lunch!  There was a barbeque on the lanai deck that day and an assortment of tasty vittles were being prepared by chefs cooking on honest-to-goodness grills.  The selection was a combination of traditional grilling fare like slider hamburgers and hotdogs but also things like quesadillas.  I had a couple of hotdogs and I can honestly say that they were some of the best hotdogs I’ve ever had.  Say what you will about the process of making them or the meat that goes into those casings, these were great.  Jill picked us up a plate of deserts, almost all of them involving chocolate which should come as no surprise to anyone who knows my wife.  I learned of her affection for chocolate early on in our relationship as there was an occasion where we were out at dinner and wanted to get a desert to share.  Jill said that I could choose what our desert would be, and so it was that I picked the one item on the menu that didn’t involve chocolate.  Her disappointment at my selection was more comical than it was resentful, but suffice it to say that her point was made that night.

There was an event in the Encore Theater in the afternoon called Love & Marriage hosted by our cruise director Jaime.  It’s a take on the Newlywed’s Game where several couples (three, to be exact) are involved and each participant is asked a series of questions about their spouse with the winning couple being whoever gets the most similar answers to each question.  The contestants for this event were a young couple who’d just gotten hitched, a couple who’d been together for a while, and an older couple who’d been married for 64 years.  It turned out that the husband of the young couple was the grandson of the older couple; considering the nature of some of the questions, I think Sonny learned a few things about his Pappy and Maw that he might not have wanted to but it was all in good fun as we laughed the entire time.  One of the questions posed (which was aimed at the wives but had to be answered by the husbands as well) was “When is your husband most macho?” with possible responses being: A) In bed, B) Out of bed, or C) In his dreams.  The husband from the older couple – whose name was Bud and who happened to be hard of hearing – had come up with his own answer: Boobs!  And I have to agree with him because boobs are awesome and I think they’re as good an inspiration as any for us men to be macho.  Jaime got closer to Bud and explained the answer choices which lead Bud to change his response to “in bed with boobs”.  Bud, I don’t know where you are today but let me applaud you for being a shining example of all that is man.

Our cruise director Jamie coaching Bud during the Love & Marriage game

Part of the process of concluding any vacation is getting your stuff packed, and so it was that after the Love & Marriage game we had to return to our stateroom to begin the process of wrangling our clothes, gear, and other accessories.  Much like how your luggage is delivered to your stateroom sometime during the first day of your voyage, your luggage will be picked up by the crew from outside your stateroom during the evening of your final day aboard the ship and you’ll retrieve it from a processing area similar to those seen in airports once you’ve disembarked.  It’s an efficient method of handling what amounts to literally tons of baggage, and it is so at least partially due to it running on a schedule (like everything else associated with the cruise experience, it seems).  Passengers have to have their luggage ready for pick-up by a certain time and we certainly weren’t going to miss it.

The festivities onboard that evening were very low key as it seemed like everyone from the passengers to the wait staff knew that the voyage was all but done.  No more neckties or evening gowns in the dining rooms – if I had to guess, I’d say most of the passengers were just wearing whatever remaining clothing they had that was clean.  We bid adieu to our tablemates at supper and wished them well.  After the meal we returned to the Encore Theater for one more show.

I should point out that throughout the entire cruise we noticed our dining room was often rattled by what we assumed to be the churning of the ship’s propellers since the Scarlet Restaurant is located at the stern of the ship.  It wasn’t too bothersome until this final evening when we began to feel a much more intense shimmy, so intense that we and other passengers were wondering what might be causing it.

The rattling was even more pronounced in the Encore Theater as we watched several members of the entertainment staff performing an edition of the Liars Club, a show driven by audience-participation where passengers are asked to pick who amongst the entertainers is telling a fake story and who’s telling the truth.  The Encore Theater is equipped with a wide assortment of lighting rigs and other audio/visual equipment, all of which could be seen shaking or swaying to and fro.  It reminded me of shows I’ve seen at amusement parks like Universal Studios Florida where parts of the theater have been gimmicked to give you the sensation of calamity.  There were no gimmicks here, though.

Members of the Dream's entertainment staff in an edition of the Liars Club

We returned to our stateroom after the Liars Club to set out our luggage and get ready for bed.  We also took the time to fill out our customs forms as passengers are required to declare everything purchased while abroad as it could pan out that you own Uncle Sam some money, if you catch my meaning.  Around that same time, our cruise director Jaime made an announcement over the ship’s public address system that we may have noticed the boat traveling at a higher rate of speed than normal.  “Huh, here I thought we were just sailing downhill!” the smart aleck in me replied.  Jaime continued, saying that the reason for this was a medical emergency involving one of our fellow passengers.  My thoughts immediately went back to the passenger I’d seen being taken away in an ambulance the day prior in Costa Maya.  We never found out what the specifics of the situation were, but I certainly hope that whatever the matter was that the passenger in question is alright now.

I think we both had issues sleeping that night which wasn’t a good thing seeing as how we’d be hitting the road in the morning, making the long drive back to South Carolina (and reality).  I guess we should’ve expected some drama considering our surroundings – too bad it had to happen on our final night aboard the Dream.

11-19-11 (Saturday): Once again we were up bright and early, only this time what we had to look forward to were long lines, customs procedures, and our re-integration into the United States.

We rounded up our carry-on (carry-off would be a more appropriate term in this instance) luggage, said our goodbyes to the stateroom that had been our home-away-from-home for the past week, and made one final trip to the Encore Theater which would again serve as a staging area for guests before disembarkation.  To keep things orderly, guests are allowed to disembark according to zoning designations.  We were supposed to have been off the ship by 8:30 AM but our zone wasn’t called until almost 10 AM – breakfast would’ve been nice to have had that morning but room service doesn’t deliver to passengers whose voyage is over, I’m sad to say.  While the lines for passengers to pass through customs were long they were at least moving somewhat steadily.  Our customs experience this go-round was entertaining as the agent working at the station we passed through was working with several teenagers who were job shadowing that day.  We were recognized as citizens of this great country, found our luggage and were able to get to our car in near record time.  Our egress out of the port area was slowed when we got to the parking attendant stations where we’d pay our due for the week; there was either a mechanical issue or some sort of confusion among the staff there.  It was resolved, though, and once we were paid up ($120…FOR PARKING!?!?!?!?!?!?!) we were on our way.

I usually handle the driving duties whenever we’re on the road and Jill usually sleeps 93% of the trip.  I’m kidding – she’s awake at least 30% of the time.  As we got to Jacksonville the lack of sleep the night before caught up to me as I was very close to dozing off while driving.  Trust me when I say that Jacksonville is not a town you should drive through if your head isn’t exactly clear as there are more lane changes and overpasses to navigate there than I’ve experienced anywhere else.  The fact that the gentle jostling sensation you get from riding in a car has always been a relaxing feeling for me didn’t help matters (my parents would take me for a drive around the neighborhood when I was a child if they couldn’t get me to sleep otherwise).  Jill helped out as best she could by trying to have a conversation but she was tired too.  It felt like it took forever for us to get into Georgia but once we were there in the Peach State we stopped at the welcome center where Jill and I swapped places so that I could get some rest.

I don’t recall which Georgian town we were in when we got lunch but I do remember the occasion as we stopped at a Krystal Burger restaurant where I had my first ever Krystal burger.  We don’t have Krystal’s in South Carolina (if we do I’ve never seen it) and consequently I’d never thought to visit one when we’ve passed them in our travels.  Jill had become a fan of theirs thanks to her having lived in North Carolina for some time after college and she felt it was high time I sampled their food.  I have to say that it’s a good thing there isn’t a Krystal Burger anywhere near where we live, else I’d probably be there every other day.  Their burgers are proof that something doesn’t have to be intricate in order to be tasty.

We got back home late in the afternoon, unloaded the car then sorted our laundry.  There were mountains of clothes in our living room, some of them smellier than others but all ripe with reminders of the week that had been our cruise to the Western Caribbean.

Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 4)

11-17-11 (Thursday): I’ve mentioned several times during the course of recapturing our experiences on this cruise that we were greeted by an amazing view of the sunrise each morning as we got up to prepare for the events of the day.  In order to get that kind of view, obviously it requires having a stateroom with some type of portal to the world – in our case, a cove balcony.  You could probably see them just as well from a room with only a porthole but for us a balcony stateroom is the only way to go.  Sure, it’s a bit more money than an interior room; even so, if splurging on a vacation as unique as this one is a bad thing then I don’t think either Jill or myself want to be right.

Our room aboard the Dream - a Cove Balcony class

As it would turn out, the view this particular morning as we arrived at Costa Maya wasn’t as picturesque as what we’d seen thus far.  I say it wasn’t picturesque even though I guess to some folks the sight of a roiling thunderstorm off in the distance and torrential rain might be a beautiful thing (I’m not exaggerating in saying that the clouds were near pitch-black when the storm was at its most severe).  For us, not so much especially considering we’d just had to abandon our plans for Isla Roatan a day prior thanks to less than favorable conditions near the port.  We had booked an excursion for the day that would include a sight-seeing trip on the water aboard a glass-bottomed boat as well as a snorkeling session.  Needless to say, as we had our breakfast from room service we feared that our final adventure as passengers aboard the Carnival Dream might get washed away.

Ominous skies greeted us in Costa Maya

The storm didn’t appear to dissuade some of our fellow travelers as they were walking through the rain, bound and determined to see Costa Maya regardless of the weather.  I was trying to stay positive by holding onto hope that the winds would blow the storm out of the area and we’d still be able to go on our excursion.  Rain isn’t exactly a reason to not go for a swim – I’ve never understood why people flee from a perfectly safe pool just because it starts raining seeing as how you were already engaged in an activity that requires you to get wet.  Lightning, on the other hand, is nothing to fool around with and the fact that there were several small boats in the harbor getting tossed around wasn’t boosting my confidence.

Fortunately for us, by the time we were ready to leave the boat and meet up with the rest of our group on the pier the rain had begun to slack off and the most ominous of the clouds departed.  We wound up having a fantastic view that morning after all, albeit not of the sunset but rather of a double-rainbow that seemed to form directly in front of our stateroom’s balcony.  It was a very welcoming vision and more than enough inspiration for us to set off on another adventure.

We had some time to waste before our excursion was to begin which allowed us the chance to walk around the shops at the port for a while.  We took note of the fact that there’s a sign at the Senor Frog’s location at Costa Maya pointing in the general direction of the one in Myrtle Beach, SC (if you’ve never seen or heard of Senor Frog’s, the best description I can provide would be to picture a dive bar & restaurant catering to partiers that happens to be a successful chain).  To be completely honest with you, the areas nearest to the port at each stop we made on this cruise were not that different from one another.  It was essentially the same set of shops at each port – there’s some mild variation to the offerings therein when it comes to inventory but not so much that I can say any one of them was significantly different than the other.

Myrtle Beach, SC - your reputation is known around the world

One feature to the area near port at Costa Maya disappointed both me and Jill on an emotional level.  In looking at excursions, you see many offerings that deal with dolphin encounters where patrons have a chance to get in the water and swim or otherwise interact with porpoises.  These are usually accompanied by pictures of the excursion taking place in a tropical lagoon or another setting that would appear to be natural for the dolphins, as if they decided to participate in the event on their own volition.  To the contrary of those images was the sight of a narrow holding tank built into the side of an embankment near the shore where we saw a pair of dolphins swimming back and forth.  I don’t think the operation we saw is associated with any of the excursions offered through Carnival, but even so it was a very sad to see those majestic animals penned up in such small confines.

Dolphins in a holding pen near the pier with the Dream in the background

It was getting closer to time for our excursion to begin, so we made our way back to the pier.  The rain had stopped for a while but, wouldn’t you know it, as we started walking away from the shops the rain began again.  And this wasn’t a drizzle we’re talking about – these were big ol’ fat drops of rain, as Forest Gump would’ve called them.  Like I said earlier in this entry, we were going swimming anyway so the fact that we were getting wet didn’t matter much to me.  Jill, on the other hand, wasn’t too excited about being drenched; she hadn’t worn a hat that day and I believe it was getting into her eyes.  We made it to the pier and met up with our tour guide; he assured us that our excursion was going to happen and that we were on schedule.  Not too long after this our group was rounded up and we boarded a bus that would take us from the pier we were on to the pier where we’d begin our tour.  The bus ride between piers was interesting as we found ourselves in this huge vehicle being driven down dirt roads that didn’t seem wide or stable enough to support a bus.  All I can say is that the men who drive those buses know the roads well enough to be able to squeeze their caravans through spaces I wouldn’t dare try.  We made it to the pier without incident, though, and we enjoyed the opportunity the ride afforded us to see a glimpse of what Costa Maya is like away from the touristy section.

We didn’t have to walk far once the bus stopped seeing as how the driver took the bus out onto the pier where our boat was waiting for us.  Our tour guide – whose name was Gustavo – and the crew of the glass-bottomed boat helped us step off the pier and into the vessel that would ferry us the rest of the afternoon.  The tour on the glass-bottomed boat was a lot of fun as we were able to see through the clear blue water of the Caribbean down to the sea floor which was teaming with life – all sorts of fish and coral, in as many colors as you could imagine.  I’m not sure what happened but at one point during the tour there was a loud bang and the boat lurched forward as if we’d hit something.  With that, I readied myself for the possibility that instead of going snorkeling we could very well be swimming back to shore instead!

The hull of the boat apparently intact, we were issued our snorkeling equipment just prior to arrival at the location where we’d begin our dive.  Jill was feeling a little apprehensive about getting in the water; I understood why as she’d relayed to me when we were booking this excursion that she’d been snorkeling years prior while on a cruise with her parents and had difficulty adjusting to the conditions.  I, on the other hand, had my gear on and was ready to go before anyone else in our group which is exactly what I did as I was the first one to jump in, feet first, to our snorkeling adventure.  Gustavo and I were treading water for a few minutes by ourselves before anyone else from the group joined us.  I guess Jill didn’t want to be the only one left on the boat because she was soon geared-up and into the water as well!  I was glad that she changed her mind as I would’ve hated for her to have missed out on the experience.

Hanging out in the water with our tour guide Gustavo

Jill (center, inside the boat) getting her snorkeling gear on

Before the moment when I jumped into the ocean that day, the last time I’d swam in the sea was better than 15 years ago.  I don’t swim in the waters off the coast of South Carolina because they are murky, quite frankly, and I don’t have any desire to get into water that isn’t clear enough for me to see my feet once they’re beneath it.  The most I’ll do there is stick my toes into the surf.  The waters of the Caribbean are the exact opposite – they are a blue, almost green tint, clear all the way to the bottom, and surprisingly warm…And salty – very, very salty.  So salty that when I first went to use my snorkel and wound up with a mouthful of sea water that I was overcome by the pure salinity of it.

Between struggling to clear my snorkel and dealing with the sensation of an entire carton of iodized salt being poured into my mouth, the first few minutes of my snorkeling experience were a little rough.  I kept at it, though, and after a bit of trial and error in determining the best position to hold my head I pretty well got the hang of it.  I was lagging behind the rest of the group thanks to my struggles but I quickly caught up once I got comfortable with the sensation of breathing with my nose and mouth underwater.  I’ve always loved swimming and I like to think of myself as a fairly strong swimmer, and the addition of flippers seemed to have improved my abilities somewhat.  As good of a swimmer as I may be, Gustavo was significantly more skilled and may in fact be part fish as he had no difficulty in diving to the bottom to bring up examples of undersea life (several varieties of urchins) for us to hold.

You can barely see it but I'm holding a small sea urchin

A member of our group holding a spider urchin

Seeing all the various species of fish and coral along the bottom of the ocean was a beautiful sight.  The seas are a part of our world that is so vast, it’s mind boggling to stop and consider just how expansive they are.  And to think that the section we were touring that day was quite literally a mere drop in what is an unfathomable bucket only furthers the concept of its breadth.

There was a mildly disconcerting portion of our snorkeling adventure, which occurred when Gustavo lead us into waters that were significantly more shallow than what we’d started off in.  The currents in this area were much stronger than what we’d encountered previously and some of the coral formations were quite large, reaching almost up to the surface of the water.  We were told before we began our dive that we shouldn’t touch the coral as we could inadvertently damage it; unfortunately, we didn’t have much choice at this point in the excursion seeing as how the current pushed us into several jagged coral formations.  Jill was fairly distraught as she thought she’d cut her hand – it turned out she hadn’t but of course I immediately thought of her having encountered a piece of fire coral which is venomous albeit in a way that is more irritating than anything.  Several other members of our group fared worse than we did as they actually got hung up on a large formation.  As we were collecting ourselves I couldn’t believe it when I saw a woman standing on either a rock or a huge piece of coral.  She was yelling at Gustavo, saying (amongst other things) that she was in distress and that she’d lost one of her flippers.  Needless to say, that was when our dive ended and we made our way back to the glass-bottomed boat.

We rode back to the area around the port in a passenger van, which felt much more maneuverable in the streets of Costa Maya compared to the bus we’d rode in on.  Once we were back in the touristy section of the city we did more shopping and made a few small purchases.  One of my favorite magnets from this vacation is the one we picked up in Costa Maya, a bronze piece featuring Mayan hieroglyphs in a circular pattern around a tribal figure.  I’m not sure exactly why I pushed Jill into doing this but I decided that we should eat lunch at Senor Frog’s instead of going back to the Dream.  I blame anatomy as the fact that my stomach appears to be hard-wired to my brain has lead me to make more than a few poor decisions in my life.  The food at Senor Frog’s wasn’t bad – it was quite good however the service was poor and the meal was significantly more expensive than what it was worth.  Let’s just say that I’ll never forget having paid $10 for a Coke served in a souvenir cup shaped like a palm tree.

This cost $10 - no, seriously...

As we walked back to the Dream I took off the pair of water shoes I’d been wearing for a majority of the day.  If you’ve never had a pair of them, water shoes are intended to be worn while swimming and they’re usually rather tight-fitting.  Between the fit of the shoes and the fact that they were soaking wet, I managed to get a fairly good-sized blister on the pinky toe of my left foot.  I’d add a picture of it to this blog entry but I don’t want to repulse what readers I do have.

After we were back onboard the Dream we took showers and got some rest.  I went out onto our balcony after I’d taken a brief nap and noticed an ambulance near the gantry connecting our ship to the pier.  A female passenger was inside the ambulance, and there appeared to be several personnel from the ship communicating with the passenger’s family and operators who I’m assuming were the Costa Maya equivalent of emergency medical technicians.  I couldn’t help but watch and listen as the scene developed since it was all happening within earshot of our stateroom.  At one point I overheard one of the patient’s family members say something along the lines of “We don’t have that kind of money!”, and I immediately started thinking of the logistics involved with getting healthcare in a foreign land.  Do hospitals in South America even recognize our insurance providers?  It was a question I’d never even thought to ask myself until then.  The patient’s family went into the ship for a while, long enough for them to gather up a few belongings, then came back to rejoin her.  I’m not sure exactly how much money changed hands but I can tell you that I witnessed a male passenger count out what looked to be a significant amount of cash into the hands of one of the EMTs before everyone got into the ambulance and left the pier.  I could not imagine getting caught up in a situation like that; I pray that passenger and her family are alright.

That night was the final elegant evening on the Dream for this voyage which meant we would once again be getting all gussied up for dinner.  Have I ever mentioned how beautiful my wife is?  There is no better example of her hot-young-trophy-wife status than the image of her this night as she was wearing a classic black dress and pearls (a personal favorite accessory of hers).  I dubbed her “The First Lady” of the Dream as it was an ensemble that looked like something a true first lady would’ve worn to a stately occasion.

We had the dinner table to ourselves that evening, which was perfectly fine by me as it gave it the feeling of a high-class date night – something we don’t get to experience all that often.  The service staff in our dining room was set to perform for us that evening (as they often do on Carnival ships, the waiters and maître d' break out into song & dance during the meal), and we both got a kick out of seeing our waiter dance to T-Pain’s tribute to curvaceous women, “Apple Bottom Jeans”.

Our waiter, Big D, bringing the funk

The performance in the Encore Theater was a tribute to country-western music and it was one of the better shows we saw during our week on the Dream.  I’d brought my beloved Canon SX30-IS camera (which I’d bought just prior to this trip) with me into the theater even though guests are asked to refrain from taking video or still-images during stage performances.  I didn’t have any intention of defying this request; I’d brought it to take pictures during dinner and didn’t see the point in going back to our stateroom to drop it off.  I’m something of a photo bug, you see, which is why I like to have it within reach in the event that I see something I’d like to document.

After the show, we walked the length of the ship to the Punch Liner comedy club.  Once we were there, Jill excused herself to make use of the facilities and left me by myself to watch her stuff for her.  I sat there, looked around the room and contemplated flagging down a waiter to order a drink.  I looked down at the seat beside me at Jill’s stuff and it was then that I realized I’d left my camera in the theater!

I was instantly frantic – I politely asked the woman sitting beside me if she’d be so kind as to watch my wife’s belongings, telling her that I’d be back but that I had to rush off because I’d done one of the stupidest things imaginable.  To say that I was upset as I all but ran back to the opposite end of the boat (which wasn’t an easy task seeing as how night time is when everyone is out and about on the various decks of the ship) would be a vast understatement.  Not boo-hoo crying upset, mind you, but pure rage at myself as I was sure that I’d lost not just a camera but all the pictures we’d taken throughout our cruise.  As I neared the theater I convinced myself that the camera was gone and that I should accept that my own neglectfulness had lead to me not only lose a very valuable piece of equipment but also a set of irreplaceable keepsakes.

I entered the theater via the upper-level balcony and all but tumbled down a set of stairs leading to the lower level where we’d been sitting.  I neared our seats, hoping that I’d see the camera lying there like an abandoned pet hoping that its owner would return for it – alas, there was no loving puppy nor a camera there where we’d been sitting.  I asked several of the custodial staff who were working to clean up the theater in between performances if they’d seen my camera; none of them had but one of them suggested I check with guest services to see if it had been turned in to lost & found.

The guest services desk, conveniently enough, is located not far from the encore theater.  I approached the desk and, still in a state of panic, completely ignored the fact that there was a line of people waiting to speak with staff there.  It’s tough to be convincingly apologetic when your nerves are fried, in case you didn’t know.  As I awaited my turn at the desk my thoughts were of someone else using my camera as if it were their own.  I can only equate the feeling to that of seeing a girl you like going out with some other guy.  Finally it was my turn – I asked the female agent at the desk if a camera had been turned in as I’d left mine in the theater.  She asked what kind of camera it was and I described it to her down to the model number, after which she said to me “Is it a larger, black camera?”

A glimmer of hope!  I replied that it was as she’d specified and she told me that a camera fitting the description of mine had been turned in to them by one of my fellow passengers.  She brought the camera to the desk and, low and behold, it was my camera!  Suddenly my faith in humanity was restored and all was right with the world.  I asked the agent if the person who’d turned it in had by chance left their name as I wanted to buy them a bottle of something very expensive or at least thank them for their honesty in doing the right thing.  Unfortunately they had not – all I can say is that if you were the person who took care of my camera for me that evening and you happen to be reading this, thank you very much!  Even so, I was relieved and as soon as the camera was back in my hands I put its strap around my neck.  If I’d never taken it from that position I’d have never put myself through the ordeal; consider it a lesson learned that the strap is there for a reason.

I returned to the Punch Liner, camera safely in my grasp much to the relief of my wife.  She and I finished off our evening with a lot of laughs in the comedy club, which was exactly what I needed after having frazzled my own nerves just about as badly as they’ve ever been.  We turned in for the evening knowing that our time on the Dream was drawing to an end as tomorrow would be our final day at sea before returning to Port Canaveral.

Our Voyage to the Western Caribbean (Part 3)

11-15-11 (Tuesday): I may be a 31 year old man on the outside, but inside still burns the youthful exuberance of a little boy eager to get out into the world and set off on adventure, hence the reason why I typically can’t get more than a few hours sleep per night during a trip like this one.  I guess if I have to endure insomnia while I’m on vacation at least I can take solace in the fact that it’s because of excitement and not stress or some other negative factor.

Jill would be getting up bright and early this morning, too, as we were scheduled to depart from the Dream at 7:45 AM in order to rendezvous with a tour group for an excursion that would take us across the entirety of Belize to the site of the Mayan ruins at Xunantunich.  I have always been fascinated by history and sociology; that said, it should come as no surprise that when we booked this cruise one of the activities that I absolutely wanted to do more than anything else was to visit a set of Mayan ruins.  The Mayans were an incredibly advanced culture and the structures they built are especially remarkable considering the tools and techniques which were used.  Having been erected more than a thousand years ago and bearing in mind that they were constructed by laborers working with nothing but their bare hands and what would now be considered rudimentary tools, one can’t help but marvel at these great structures from an era long passed.  I somehow doubt that anything built today will endure the tests of time as they have.

We received our breakfast from room service not long after our wake-up call.  There aren’t many things more comforting than having someone else prepare and bring you your food, which is why we took advantage of room service as often as possible (perhaps a bit more than we should have in one instance – that’s a story for another day).  Our feast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Danishes, juice, and bananas was quite delectable, but then again so is all of the food on these boats.  I persist in telling people when I talk about our cruise experiences that you could very well do nothing but eat the entire time you’re on one and be perfectly content.  Sure, you’d gain a pound or two (or twenty) but you’d be happy, nonetheless!

The Encore Theater served as something of a rallying point throughout the week for excursion activities whereby guests were staged before departure.  We gathered there with a large contingent of guests as it looked as though a great many of our fellow travelers would be enjoying excursions that particular day.  One by one, different groups were called to begin disembarkation, which was a bit of a different process this day than it would be any other during this cruise seeing as how in Belize there is no dock where ships the size of the Dream can make port.  To get to dry land we’d have to take tinder boats – smaller craft that ferry tourists from and to cruise ships.  Jill had imparted to me that this could potentially be a rough transition, going from a craft the size of an aircraft carrier to one not that much bigger than a good-sized pontoon boat.  Remember my comment about the spirit of an adventurous little boy still rattling around inside of me?  All I can say is that it tends to counter worries expressed by my wife in scenarios like this.  Much like when she was a nervous wreck before we boarded a plane for our flight to Las Vegas several years ago, I was as giddy and excited as could be.

Jill smiles for the camera onboard the tinder boat to Belize

Since ours was one of the first tinder boats out that morning, we were joined onboard by not only a throng of our fellow passengers but also by a rather large party of Carnival’s photographers.  They’re not particularly bothersome even though there are times where they can come off as being more than a smidge insistent (it’s their job to take pictures so that you’ll hopefully want to buy them, after all) and that their presence seems unnecessary, seeing as how there are certain disembarkation points are set up to where you can’t get off the ship without first having stopped to have your picture taken.  Fortunately this day we’d be getting to shore before they’d have a chance to set up, thereby unintentionally circumventing the system.

Passengers & photographers loading up, waiting for the tinder to leave

The ride away from the Dream on the tinder boat wasn’t at all rough; that comment comes off as though I was disappointed in it not being a challenge to my intestinal fortitude but I guess I was expecting it to be something that it wasn’t.  It was quite the site, pulling away from our home on the seas, seeing a boat the size of the Dream sitting off in the distance.  There were several other cruise ships that had set anchor that morning as well.  The only way to truly grasp how large these vessels are is to view them from far away.

Upon reaching the dock, we found our tour group congregating inside what would best be described as a food court.  There were a variety of cafes in this dockside building offering local cuisine.  I halfway wished we’d have had the time to partake in some of their wares seeing as how I’d have appreciated the opportunity to sample local foods (even though it’s likely what they were serving could’ve been homogenized versions of chow from the region made more palatable for us gringos), but it wasn’t long until our tour guides arrived and our journey was underway.  We boarded a comfortable, air conditioned tour bus (I point that out because the tropical – read, hot and humid – climate of Belize made it feel like July in South Carolina even though it was the middle of November) and were taken through the streets of Belize City.

The "food court" where we gathered with our tour group

There were several moments where I wasn’t sure how the bus was going to make it through the tight confines of the city, which is absolutely jammed with buildings; a mixture of homes and businesses, almost all of them made from cinderblocks.  Citizens of Belize are given the right by their government to lease land and after a certain number of years if they so decide they may purchase it outright.  Instead of taking out large loans, people of Belize will usually make improvements to their property as they acquire funds; this is why some structures were in use even though they appeared to have been only partially completed.  Because of the city’s appearance, an unreasonable observer would be quick to deem conditions there as being squalor however I contend that the people of Belize are just a simpler sort than us Americans.  They exist with what they require for their daily lives without the excesses that we’ve grown to think are necessary.

Our tour guides – Denise and Jake – were tremendously knowledgeable, as you might expect, and they pointed out a wealth of interesting facts about their homeland as we made our way through the city and countryside.  They were particularly impressive considering that they had material enough to keep us occupied for the duration of our trek to and from Xunantunich (Denise told us that we could remember how to pronounce Xunantunich by saying “tuna sandwich”), a 160 mile, 4 hour round trip.

Tour guide Denise - she kept us informed most of the way to Xunantunich

Tour guide Jake - he lead us around the site of the ruins

Belize is truly a diverse nation, its population made up of a combination of cultures that have converged to create a people more fitting the description of a melting pot that even the United States.  The national language is English (Belize was previously known as British Honduras, the last continental possession of the United Kingdom in the Americas) but you’re likely to encounter Spanish, Spanglish, Creole, and others depending on which region of the country you find yourself (there is a growing Asian influence on Belize and there are large settlements of German-speaking Mennonites as well).  Great importance is placed upon education in Belize as everyone is required to attain at least an Associate’s degree with penalties applied to those who refuse to advance themselves academically.  The Belizean government is similar to the parliamentary system in Britain (Queen Elizabeth II is their head of state) as the people are represented by a Prime Minister and cabinet ministers who are installed by the given dominant political party.

We learned that the Belizean dollar is worth half of an American dollar, meaning everything there is essentially twice as expensive compared to what we’re used to paying.  The high cost of fuel is why a majority of people live nearby where they work as doing so allows them to walk or take other, similarly efficient means of travel to and from their occupations.  A funny side story to their currency and its value is the fact that, at one point in time, there were Subway restaurants in Belize but not anymore.  As television providers began to bring in American programming, they unwittingly revealed to Subway’s Belizean customer base that we were paying $5 for foot-long sandwiches whereas Belizeans were paying upwards of $10.  The subsequent backlash against the restaurant chain drove them out of the country.  I don’t recall having seen any other familiar chain restaurants during our time in Belize, although one of our tour guides did mention that there have been rumors of a Wal-Mart being built there.

As we arrived at Xunantunich, our tour guides alerted us to the presence of members of the Belize Defence Force, the military of Belize.  We’d passed by a police checkpoint on the outskirts of Belize City and seen armed officers there but this was our first glimpse of actual military regulars on patrol.  The site of uniformed men carrying assault rifles isn’t exactly an everyday occurrence for us making it a slightly disconcerting experience, but we were assured that these soldiers were there for our protection.  The BDF have a vested interest in protecting Xunantunich from looters as it is an important cultural landmark and also because of the site’s proximity to the border with Guatemala.

This man is a BDF soldier - there were several of them on site at all times

After getting off the tour bus we passed by a group of shops set up by locals to sell a variety of textiles, crafts, and wood carvings.  There’s no gentle way to say this; we were warned that the people who work in these facilities will set upon anyone who shows an interest in their goods like hyenas on a wounded zebra.  In response to that, I would say that aggressive sales tactics are nothing new; these folks are ultimately sales people competing with each other and working to feed their families by acquiring money that is worth twice as much as their local currency – what else would you expect?

Members of our group passing by shops outside Xunantunich

Local Belizeans selling crafts and other wares outside Xunantunich

In order to reach the ruins we’d first have to cross a river by way of a hand-cranked ferry.  A patchwork of rusted metal and wood cobbled together with bolts and other fasteners, the ferry is a remarkable piece of engineering.  I’m not sure how old this particular ferry is but I think it would be safe to say that it’s been in use at least as long as I’ve been alive.  It should be noted that we were alerted to the waters below being home to alligators, piranha, and assorted other ornery beasts.  Once we were across the river, we were loaded into passenger vans that would carry us the remaining few miles to the site of the ruins.

The hand-cranked ferry at Xunantunich

The hand-crank itself

Belize is a lush terrain; its verdant nature was at its most evident as we neared the site.  Walking past the visitors’ center and up a hill that leads to the ruins, we found ourselves in a jungle, surrounded by a beautiful assortment of towering trees, vibrant flowers, and plants we’d never before seen.

Our tour group, preparing to enter the visitors center

Our tour guide Jake directed us through a cultural center that displayed a collection of artifacts that had been excavated from Xunantunich and also depicted the history of the site.  It’s believed that Xunantunich was once an important ceremonial center to the Mayan people but was abandoned possibly because of the structures having been damaged by an earthquake.  The earthquake may have not only damaged the temples there but also the spiritual beliefs of the people, for the Mayans worshipped celestial bodies and recognized tribal leaders as being capable of influencing or otherwise controlling their deities.  An incident such as a major earthquake could’ve been perceived as a sign of weakness and might have lead to an uprising by the lower classes of people against their leaders.

Jake was a tremendous asset all along the tour

Members of our group looking at a scale replica of Xunantunich

We were guided past several smaller constructs before we finally had our chance to experience El Castillo (a Spanish term meaning “the castle” used to describe the pyramid), the tallest structure at Xunantunich.  I had another youthful exuberance spasm as Jake told us about the significance of the smaller buildings – I kept looking at El Castillo and saying to myself, “Can we go climb it now?!”  When Jake finally said it was time to make our ascent, I was absolutely captivated as we approached it.  Much like our cruise ship, you can’t fully appreciate the vastness of an object as large as El Castillo until you’ve seen it with proper perspective.  To think that this was built more than a thousand years ago yet still stands to this day is awe-inspiring.

Our first glimpse of El Castillo

Jill standing in front of one of the smaller temples at Xunantunich

The summit of El Castillo off in the distance

My excitement at being able to mount a personal expedition to the summit of El Castillo lasted a little less than half-way up the temple at which point in time my lungs caught fire and every muscle in my legs screamed at the torment I’d put them through.  I know I’m out of shape but if I’d had any delusions to the contrary they’d have been thoroughly smashed by the stresses I felt at that point.  Chalk it up to a combination of fear at the prospect of climbing what amounts to a sheer rock wall (the Mayans, despite their advanced culture, had yet to grasp the concept of hand rails) and the fatigue I was feeling, but I actually told my wife that I’d wait there at the mid-point for her.  She would have none of that, though, and quickly reminded me that it was my idea to have taken this excursion in the first place.

In case you're wondering, that's the face I make when I'm exhausted

Onward and upward we went, taking a path that I have no qualms with admitting scared the living daylights out of me.  I’m not necessarily afraid of heights however I do have some concerns about falling from a great height.  “You probably won’t even feel it…After you break your neck, that is.” I thought to myself, considering the prospect of tumbling off the side of El Castillo like a sack of potatoes.  Given our situation – that being stuck between a man-made mountain of stone and a drop of certain death with nothing but air separating us from either – those fears were never more real than they were as we came within reach of the top of El Castillo.  It wasn’t until we were at the summit that the panic subsided and I realized the rush of adrenaline I’d been feeding off of to get me through the trek.  I’ve never done recreational drugs but I doubt even the most glamorous of pharmacology could duplicate the sensation of accomplishment I had while staring out into the distance, across Belize and Guatemala.  The Mayans worshipped celestial bodies; the irony that they’d inadvertently allowed me to get just about as close to heaven as possible while still touching the ground wasn’t lost on me.  We took a moment to enjoy the view, snap a few pictures, and take a quick rest before it was time to make our way back down to Terra Firma.

Looking back across the plaza as we made our way up El Castillo

Members of our group passing under a stucco frieze on one side of El Castillo

The view from the edge of El Castillo out over the plaza - 130 feet down

Me on top of El Castillo - very tired but very glad to have made it the whole way

Jill at the top of El Castillo - the weather was beautiful in Belize that day

Other members of our group pausing to enjoy the view from the summit

Once our group had reconvened at a ball court near the base of El Castillo, Jake described the significance of competition to the Mayan people while I tried to collect myself.  I was physically wiped out and the adrenaline was wearing off, but I still reveled at the fact that I’d only minutes prior been standing on top of a monument stretching 130 feet straight up into the air.  With that, our tour of Xunantunich was over – it was an amazing experience and certainly one that I will never forget.

Exhausted but still rockin'

On our way back to Belize City we stopped at a restaurant for a taste of local cuisine.  Our tour guides had told us earlier in the day that we would be sampling a local delicacy they refer to as bamboo chicken – they said that bamboo chicken isn’t like the chicken we know because it doesn’t have feathers, is green, and climbs trees.  Bamboo chicken, as it turns out, isn’t chicken at all – it’s iguana!  Fortunately, they were kidding with us about it being part of our meal.  I was so famished by then that they could’ve served me barbequed sewer rat and I’d have probably eaten it with a smile on my face.  We dined on actual chicken that had been heavily seasoned so that it had a flavor similar to jerk chicken, coleslaw, a fried plantain, and a serving of beans & rice.  On the table was an assortment of hot sauces made by a company in Belize called Hot Mama’s.  I’m a condiment aficionado, hot sauces in particular; Jill and I both fell in love with their sweet pepper sauce, so much so that we bought several bottles of it (we should’ve bought several more as we’ve found many uses for it since returning home).  The real star of the meal, for me, was the beans and rice which is a staple dish in Belize.  The recipe calls for the beans and rice to be cooked in coconut milk, adding a rich, deep flavor to what might be otherwise mistaken as a fairly pedestrian combination.  To wash down our meal we were given the choice of Coca-Cola or Coca-Cola Light, otherwise known as Diet Coke. (There is only one bottling company in Belize and they handle Coke products, water, and beer; talk about a monopoly!) I took the opportunity to try a local beer called Belikin, a tasty lager that was crisp and refreshing in the heat of the day.

After she finished eating, Jill went over to peruse a set of merchandise tables put up near the restaurant.  We have a collection of refrigerator magnets that grows by the year as we try to get a different magnet for each vacation spot we visit.  They’re simple baubles but they’re some of my most treasured possessions.  As luck would have it, one of the vendors there had a magnet depicting El Castillo with “BELIZE” and “XUNANTUNICH” carved into it – it couldn’t have been a more perfect example of the kind of things we look for when selecting a keepsake of our travels.

The trip back to port felt longer than it had in the morning (not for lack of effort by our driver who took full advantage of the fact that there is no highway patrol in Belize, nor are there speed limits on the main highways), probably because my knees and lower back were still complaining about what I’d put them through earlier in the day.  In times like those I try to remind myself of a song lyric that goes “scars are memories you never lose”, so instead of complaining about the pain I chose to fondly recall the adventure of the day.  We were back at the dock just in time to catch one of the final tinder boats back to the Dream.

That evening we had dinner and discussed the events of the day with our tablemates.  It was always fun to trade stories of what we’d each encountered.  I’m sure that sense of camaraderie is what the folks at Carnival hope for when they assemble seating arrangements; I couldn’t imagine being stuck at a table with people who were either disagreeable or un-personable.  After dinner we saw the evening’s performance in the Encore Theater then changed out of our monkey suits (a term I affectionately use to describe attire that isn’t casual in nature) before heading to the lido deck for a laser tribute to the music of Pink Floyd and Rush.  I like both of those bands, personally, but I think this was a presentation better suited to folks who appreciate the psychedelic nature of tunes from the era in which these groups were so popular, if you catch my drift.  We concluded our evening in the best method we could think of – pizza from the lido deck followed by milk & cookies brought to our stateroom.  Ah, the luxury of 24-hour room service!

11-16-11 (Wednesday): When we went through the process of scheduling our excursions for this cruise, we knew that we would more than likely be tired coming off of our tour of Xunantunich.  That being the case, we decided to do something during our visit to Isla Roatan (which is also referred to as Mahogany Bay) that would be nothing but pure relaxation – a day spent at the Parrot Bay resort where we’d be treated to sun, sand, and (of course) an all-you-can-eat buffet.

As we began to get ready, I spotted a note that had been passed under our door.  The letter was to notify us that a change had been made to our itinerary so that we would be leaving later than scheduled.  We were concerned that this would cut into our time at Parrot Bay and wanted more information, so after we’d gotten dressed and had breakfast on the lido deck (scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and grits with freshly made salsa) we began walking to the guest services desk.  No sooner than we’d set off in its direction, our cruise director came over the ship’s public address system and informed us that we would not be able to dock at Roatan due to high winds and large swells near the port.  Our captain had made several attempts to enter the channel but ultimately decided that it would be unsafe to proceed.

This was about as close as we'd get to Roatan

Admittedly I was upset that we wouldn’t be able to go to Roatan as I was looking forward to all the things Parrot Bay has to offer.  I even went so far as to say to Jill (jokingly, of course) that I should go to the bridge and get hold of whatever joystick it is that controls the ship, thinking I could whip it into port without issue.

I’m writing this blog entry several months after our voyage and since our trip there’s been a terrible tragedy involving a cruise ship – that being the grounding of the Costa Concordia which coincidentally happens to be owned by a company that operates under the same umbrella as Carnival Cruises.  People I know who are aware of my enjoyment of cruises have made comments to me along the lines of “I bet you wouldn’t get on one of those boats now!”  To think that an incident involving a horrible decision made by one misguided captain is indicative of the safety practices of an entire industry is just about the most asinine frame of mind one could possibly have.  I’m not sure what the requirements are in Europe but on the cruises we’ve taken the first thing every passenger must do prior to the ship leaving port is participate in a muster drill where you are instructed on what to do in case of an evacuation.  The crew explains to you where the lifeboats are, how you’ll get to them, and how to properly wear life preservers.  The fact that our captain on the Dream made the decision not to force the ship into port the day we were to have visited Roatan, to me, expresses that the men and women who helm these boats are by in large qualified individuals who have the safety of their passengers at the forefront of every decision they make.  I’d get on a cruise ship tomorrow if I had the opportunity.

Since we were both wearing our bathing suits and hadn’t yet figured out what we were going to be doing with our impromptu day at sea, we decided to spend some time in one of several hot tubs that line the perimeter of the promenade deck.  After spending about an hour soaking in the bubbly water, we were about as relaxed as could be imagined.  Even so, we one-upped the sensation by settling into a couple lounge chairs and took ourselves a nap.  If you’ve never slept in the shade with a cool sea breeze blowing across your body, I highly recommend it!  When we’d napped sufficiently we came back to our stateroom, showered, and decided it was time for lunch – a feast consisting of a variety of sandwiches and salads from room service would be delivered not too long after we placed our order via the interactive guest services menu in our stateroom (this was a new feature to the Carnival cruising experience as our other boat, the Sensation, wasn’t equipped with this when we’d sailed on it for our honeymoon).

Room service - it's never a bad idea

Eating Caesar salads in bed is okay, right?

The entertainment staff onboard put together a spur of the moment revue for us that afternoon, and despite its haphazard nature it was genuinely one of (if not the most) enjoyable shows we would see the entire week.  The highlight of it was a song called “Upon the Sea” performed by a handful of the staff and several of dancers.  To sum it up, the gist of the skit was that they were each representing what they’d be doing if they were not sailing upon the seas – the song wasn’t what made it, though, rather it was the motions each character added to the lyrics that put it over the top!  I only wish I’d been recording it as I could never describe the scene and do justice to how hilarious it was.

Members of the Dream's entertainment staff performing "Upon the Sea"

After the show we ventured out to the Fun Shops, a set of unique specialty stores located around the ship’s atrium (which is more or less the center point of the boat as it is an incredibly ornate shaft – for lack of a better term – that travels up through each of the decks).  More specifically, Jill braved the mass of humanity that was clamoring around tables outside the Fun Shops (picture it as a Black Friday-esque horde of shoppers) while I found a comfortable couch nearby to sit and watch a cornhole tournament being held on one of the lower decks.  The Fun Shops offer a variety of products but jewelry is the predominant merchandise, and on this particular day there was a sale going on for Pandora-like (read, Pandora knock-offs) bracelets.  Jill managed to get the attention of a sales person and ask for a specific color of bracelet while everyone else seemed to be content to pick through whatever they could find on the tables.  The clerk was helpful and located exactly what my wife was after.

I’ve neglected to mention up until this point in the story another consequence of our excursion to Parrot Bay having been cancelled.  The cost of this excursion was around $200 for the both of us – since we didn’t get to go, that meant the fee would be refunded to our onboard expense account (remember, these boats don’t operate by way of cash), which in turn meant that we suddenly had a decent amount of spending money that we hadn’t anticipated.  We’d been very frugal with our purchases throughout the trip thus far, and the refund actually wiped out our account balance leaving us with a surplus.  We figured why not take advantage of it – Jill used some of it to purchase her bracelets and a few other items but the real trophies that we earned by way of having the extra money was a set of photos taken during formal nights.  Jill and I don’t often have pictures made and these shots were ultimately too good to pass up.  I was still disappointed that we didn’t get to visit Roatan, but having those pictures means a lot to me as they’re memories of one of the best occasions either of us have ever experienced, forever preserved for us to enjoy.

There was no production in the Encore Theater that night but there was a slightly modified version of Family Feud – the entertainment staff referred to it as Family Face-Off; believe it or not, there’s a lot of concern expressed on these boats about protecting intellectual properties – played on the stage therein.  Games of this nature are a mainstay on cruises.  You can’t go far from one area of the ship to another during the day without encountering a game of bingo, trivia, cornhole, or something similar (and yes, karaoke events are held almost every night).

Cruise director Jaime hosting Family Face-Off

What better way to conclude our completely spontaneous day of rest and relaxation than with a frosty beverage?  For us, this means having a Kiss on the Lips – a mixed drink found exclusively on the ships making up Carnival’s fleet made with peach schnapps, frozen mango puree, and a touch of grenadine for color.

Our favorite drink on Carnival's boats - Kiss on the Lips

Next stop, Costa Maya – our final port of call for this cruise!